by J. Kearston
In tandem, the two parrot back, “So we have to look out for each other, because nobody else will.”
As the others start eating, I do too, though hesitantly. I use the small moment of silence to mentally assess myself, to search for that tug that connects me to the guys, but it’s gone. There isn’t so much as a blip to indicate the sire bond exists at all, and I have to force myself to keep from freaking out about it so that I don’t tip off Zane.
He's a shifter, so he can’t be an incorruptible. But what about the kids? At least one of them has to be, otherwise they wouldn’t be here. My mind whirls, trying to catch up. No, wait; Mason.
Mason was turned because someone was probably tearing through family lines looking for incorruptibles. Which means being related is a death sentence. If you aren’t someone they can use, you’re disposable. It got his entire family slaughtered, all because none of them are what James was looking for.
I subtly glance at Zane while I eat, mind racing. He brushes his dark brown hair out of his face as he takes a drink, his light grey eyes less hostile than they were in the car. He seems... relieved, content, but there’s still something off about him.
“I’m not sure how much you know,” he starts, taking another bite, not commenting on the way I was staring at him. “But the incorruptible gene is recessive. Still, it’s passed down the bloodline, sometimes not cropping back up for several generations. Mom was one, and I was turned when dad and I failed to protect her, left for dead.” Pausing to take a drink, he meets my eye. “By the time I found her, she was drained dry, her captors losing control and unable to stop.” A haunted, faraway look overtakes his features. “Used and abused. However long it took for her to die, it wasn’t soon enough, and I don’t like to imagine what she suffered in those months before I tracked her down.”
The kids are quiet, and I assume it’s not the first time they’ve heard this story, or some variation of it. Tense, awkward silence is only broken up when I can’t stand it anymore.
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugs before plastering on a fake, happy mask. “Bright side, they made me strong enough that I’d never be a victim again.” Releasing a slow, deep breath, he shakes himself out of his funk, determination shining in his pale eyes. “And that I could protect my family.”
Hunter’s voice is accusatory as he interjects, “What’s left of it.” Turning away from him, he glares me down with hard determination. “I took care of Addie for two years before Uncle Zane found us, even without extra abilities. I’ll protect you, too, don’t worry.”
Eyes burning, I blink several times before trying to speak. “You guys don’t understand. I already have a home, mates to protect me. As soon as we track down my parents and kill them, things will be easier; I’ll be okay. I appreciate the offer, but... I want to go home.”
Adelaide focuses on picking at her food while Hunter looks genuinely confused. Zane, on the other hand, looks like he’s about to tell me I have a terminal diagnosis. “They’re using you, Risa. I get it; the sire thing makes it feel like love, but I swear to you, it’s just a trick to make you compliant. They’ve fed off of you, right?”
At my lack of response, he shakes his head. “Exactly. Of course they’re going to keep you close, safe from other people; they want to keep you for themselves. You’re a battery pack to them, nothing more. They twist that bond to their advantage to make you their slave, to confuse you. They don’t love you, they love the power high that your blood gives them.”
My skin prickles. “You’re wrong, they aren’t like that.”
He scoffs. “They’re men that want to fuck you. Of course they’re like that.”
You could hear a pin drop with as silent as it becomes in the face of his words, my cheeks heating as the temperature in the room seems to plummet. “I appreciate that you want to protect me because you feel obligated if we’re related, but I think I’ll take my chances on my own. Thanks for lunch.”
Chair sliding back with an obnoxiously loud screech on the cement, I get to my feet. Leaving the way we came behind me, I cross the room to the far hallway. There’s a door to my right, and one straight ahead, and that makes up the entirety of the hidden bunker. Trying the door in front of me because it’s closest, I wind up in a room with hundreds of news articles tacked to a cork board on the wall, the space a chaotic mess of papers coating a desk and in stacks on the floor.
When I leave to try the next door, Zane is standing in the doorway, all humor drained from his face. “The monsters have brainwashed you into sympathizing with them. You need help, Risa, whether you realize it or not.” Behind his shoulder, Hunter lunges forward, covering Adelaide’s eyes.
“I’m going to save you, even if that’s from yourself.” The fist that drives into my temple only hurts for a moment, everything going dark before I can blink.
Chapter 25
Risa
“There you go,” Zane praises as I brace my hands on my knees, sweat dripping onto the mat beneath us.
The furniture in the living room is pushed against the walls as the four of us finish up our daily workout. While the exercise is a small part of it, the real point is running though countless self-defense maneuvers, always planning for the worst. While Zane may have convinced himself that his enhanced strength dubbed him the protector of his remaining family to the point of crazy obsession, he’s paranoid enough not to coddle any of us into becoming even easier targets.
Not like he lets any of us out of the underground bunker, but if the tragedy in all of our lives has taught us anything, it’s that the best laid plans go awry. You can never account for every variable, so I have to give him at least a little credit for trying. He’s fucking nuts, and has no problem convincing himself that knocking my ass out if I try to leave is the right thing to do with his twisted logic, but he doesn’t lord his power like a threat.
He’s stronger than all of us combined and it terrifies him, because there are much bigger monsters out there than him.
“Dibs on the first shower,” I pant, exhausted.
Addie and Hunter collapse on the mat, trying to catch their breath. Their clothes stick to their skin nearly as badly as mine, but they don’t fight me for bathing rights, happy to not have to move for a little while.
“You’re getting faster,” Zane compliments, beaming. “Would’ve broken my nose if I’d hesitated.”
Legs like jelly, I walk past him towards the bedroom hallway. “Who knows, maybe another few weeks and I can join you on a supply run.”
I know the hope is dead on arrival, but I still toss it out there simply for the sake of preserving the illusion. Hunter and Addie have made their peace with this being their life; after the things Hunter went through, all while managing to keep a toddler alive while being a kid himself, I can’t fault him for choosing to hide. But I’m not going to spend the rest of my days letting my soul wither away as I cower away down here. There’s being safe, and then there’s waiting around to die.
“Risa,” he starts, a warning edge to his voice.
Sighing, I shake my head. “I know, forget I said anything. It’s just been a hell of an adjustment over the last three weeks.”
Without looking back, I lock myself in the bathroom. It wouldn’t hold up against him if he chose to storm in here, but he has no reason to. He wants me locked away down here; it doesn’t matter which room that’s in.
I thought that I was suffocating when I lived with Blake, but it’s nothing compared to now. While the company is better, the result is worse. Zane has the best of intentions, goes above and beyond to make sure the three of us know how to protect ourselves, and brings back gifts for the kids to keep them occupied and happy. But this time, I find myself in the position where I don’t hate looking at myself in the mirror anymore. I hate him enough that it’s spreading through my body like a poison, eating away at the little humanity I’d managed to hold on to after being bitten.
Stripping off my sweaty clothes, I pull the shower curt
ain back, the star and moon pattern mocking me. Keeping the temperature lukewarm to save some hot water for the others, I close my eyes, soaking up the brief peace. Mentally, I count down in my head, and when I feel a small fluttering in my chest, I choke on a sob.
This. This is all that’s keeping me going when everything feels so damn impossible. Over the next few minutes, the bond strengthens, and the rush of the guys’ relief presses down on me like it’s my own. It’s followed by the familiar blip of fear before they squash that back down, morphing into the usual angry determination. It’s got to be killing them imagining every worst-case scenario in the book, unable to find me, so I give them the only thing I’m able to right now; a sense of calm, trying to let them know that I’m okay. I’m alive. And I know they’re coming for me.
Like clockwork, every night at dinner Zane gives me another shot. It suppresses the sire bond, which is apparently why it took him so long to grab me in Kingstyn. As soon as he realized my connection to the guys, he knew that they’d just track me down, compromising the safe house, so he needed to get set up with a stockpile before making a move. Most shifters only turn their mates, but there are enough exceptions that it’s a common drug for people waiting down the clock for the bond to wear off naturally after a decade.
But I’ve spent my entire life building up a tolerance to drugs.
This past week, it’s been wearing off a little sooner every day, giving them a few, brief moments to figure out what direction to head. Those seconds have since turned into several minutes, enough that after this many days, they’ll have a good idea of where to go until the next day when they correct their course, getting closer. Today, though?
Dinner’s not for an hour.
Finishing up, I drag my feet as I dry and dress, not ready to go back out there. Running a brush through my hair, I stare into the mirror above the small sink, blinking back the tears making my violet eyes swim in my reflection. I don’t have long with them, and I don’t want to waste it being sad.
I might not be able to talk to them, but this is enough for now, just knowing that I’m not in this alone. It has to be enough, because I have nothing else, not even hope. I have the three of them, and I don’t pray that they’ll come for me.
I know they will.
“Want to play a board game after dinner?” Addie asks, skipping past me on her way to take her turn in the bathroom.
For every day that this place has sucked a little more of the life out of me, it’s funneled it right into the girl, looking happier than ever. She has a new friend, the most exciting thing that’s happened to her since she can remember. Seeing as she was only four when they arrived at the bunker, all of her memories are within these walls, and it breaks my heart as much as I’m relieved at everything Zane and Hunter have protected her from.
While the world above us would slaughter Hunter and Zane if given the chance, it would be far crueler to Adelaide. Not only is she incorruptible, but she has an inner light that’s nearly blinding. She’s a flame, but the moths she draws in are bloodthirsty, corrupt people intent on snuffing out that inferno like a personal challenge.
“Sure, sounds good to me.”
Grinning, she closes the door, and I head into the room we share. Putting in a random movie, I grab a notebook and pencil before stretching out on the small bed. She joins me a little later, nestled into my side and focused more on my snake doodles than the movie.
Opening her mouth, she snaps it back shut before gently tugging the pencil from my hand, flipping to a new page and scribbling, Is that them? The people that Zane saved you from?
Pursing my lips I write back, Took me from, not saved. They were the ones that saved me, protected me. Not everyone on the surface is evil, there are good people too. Just... not as many, and they’re harder to find.
Her face scrunches up in contemplation and she takes her time before tentatively starting her next sentence. Is the ocean really as big as it looks in movies?
I glance at the words with a sad smile. Bigger. It seems like it goes on forever.
She wiggles into a better position. And the sun really shines so bright that it burns your skin from millions of miles away?
Sure does.
Her pencil hovers above the paper for a solid minute before she scratches out everything until it’s unreadable. Flipping the page back to my sketches, she hands everything back and slides off of the bed, taking a seat at her desk. Grabbing a book, she opens to her bookmarked page, effectively shutting down the silent conversation.
Far too soon there’s a knock at the door, Hunter letting us know dinner’s ready. I drag my feet, but don’t make any excuses to look like I’m avoiding the impending injection. All that would do is raise suspicion, put Zane’s guard up more than it already is. It’s a fine line to walk; not wanting to appear like I’m fighting enough that he decides to start tranquilizing me into submission, while also not accepting everything so easily that I’m clearly up to something.
Lifting the hem of my shorts a bit, I set my foot on one of the dining room chairs, Zane waiting with a syringe in hand. The pinch in my thigh is brief, and he hastily adds antibiotic ointment and a band aid before breathing, not wanting to take the risk of smelling my blood and it setting him off. That’s one of the few things I can appreciate; he wants to keep me all to himself as much as some of the other crazy people out there, but his ‘righteous mission’ is a bigger obsession than the pull of my blood. He’s used to the presence of Adelaide, so maybe it’s his own form of tolerance, or it could be the fact that we’re related for all that I know. Still, he’s never once tasted either of our blood, strictly focused on keeping it safely stowed away beneath our skin.
Hunter pushes his food around his plate, glancing up at me quickly and away several times. I do him the courtesy of pretending not to notice, letting him have all the time he needs to gather his thoughts or courage to ask whatever’s bugging him.
Dinner comes and goes, Zane rising from his seat and grabbing his wallet off of the counter. “I’m going to do a supply run, so don’t wait up. Any requests?”
Addie raises a hand, bouncing in her seat. “I’m nearly done with the last book you brought back, could you see if they have an update on when the next is going to be released?”
He gives her a thumbs up. “You’ve got it. And if it’s too far off, I’ll see if there’s a new series to keep you busy in the meantime.”
“Colored pencils?” He looks at me in surprise and I shrug a single shoulder sheepishly. “I like them more than crayons. If I’m going to sit around coloring for hours, might as well enjoy it.”
Zane dips his head, looking pleased that I’m starting to come around. “You’ve got it. Hunter?”
Hunter starts clearing the table and I get up to help. “I’m fine.”
Zane scrutinizes him for a moment before suggesting, “Not even a new video game?”
Hunter’s eyes flash with hostility for a brief moment. “Food’s more important. We have another mouth to feed now, so we shouldn't be wasting money on pointless things.”
Adelaide looks down at her plate guiltily and Zane narrows his eyes. “These things aren’t pointless, Hunter. We need to find happiness in whatever we can, and just because you don’t see the point, doesn’t mean you have any right to ruin that for others. There’s more to life than just existing.”
Hunter drops the plates in the sink with a clatter, turning around to pin Zane with a glare. “Like. What?”
Slowly, I inch closer to Addie, unsure how badly this is going to escalate. Zane’s jaw ticks before he releases a long, slow breath. “Bringing someone new into the fold is a huge adjustment, and I can’t blame you for feeling like your space is getting overcrowded. I’m sure Risa wouldn’t mind sitting out if we cancelled training tomorrow and the three of us played a game together instead, for old times’ sake.”
Grabbing his keys, Zane crosses into the far hallway. “You don’t need to worry about the money, Hunt; I’ve got
this. I promised to take care of you guys, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. You have enough stress without adding budgeting onto your already full plate, so relax and trust me, okay?” Hunter simply tilts his head, but the stubborn set to his face undermines the action into one of defiance and Zane sighs. “Hold down the fort while I’m gone?”
With that, he disappears, the sound of keys jingling and the locks sliding into place behind him. I strain my hearing, listening to his footsteps fade on the stone stairs until another door unlocks, swinging open before a chain rattles, trapping us inside. Whereas I used to think we were in a variation of a tornado shelter out on some farm, I’ve since discerned that we’re under a house, a set of cellar doors sealing us beneath the basement.
We all wait with baited breath before Addie gets up to start on the dishes, dispelling the tension in the air. From what I’ve seen, Zane’s never given them a reason to be afraid of him, but I have that same tick of nervous cleaning, like being productive and cleaning house will ensure the person that’s upset has no additional trigger to set them off.
Hunter scrubs a hand down his face. “Sorry, Addie. I didn’t mean-“
“You’re right,” she interjects, rinsing off a plate. I grab a rag to start drying beside her, feeling suddenly useless. “We’re just passing time until we grow old and die. Coloring, reading, watching movies; what’s the point? It’s stupid.”
Hunter comes over, gently prying the sponge out of her hand. “It’s not stupid. I was just being a butthead because I’m frustrated.”
She looks up at him, blinking back tears. “Why?”
Features strained, his gaze bounces from her face to mine. “Because I forgot, okay? We’ve been here for so long that I convinced myself there wasn’t anything else, and now here’s Risa, reminding me that there’s an entire world full of people out there, living their lives while we’re stuck hiding here, trying to be forgotten.”
He swipes at his angry tears, scowling. “And I hate it. I’m not like you guys and still can’t go outside because Uncle Zane refuses to make me like him. If he would, I could protect you better and maybe we could go outside, just for a little while.”