He started to speak, then seemed to think better of it and just returned her stare for a while. His mouth shaped a sad smile. “I know you don’t want to be here, Laura. Do you think that anyone does? Now what really has you this upset? Although you’ll be happy to know that you’re right on schedule – now’s the time for anger.
“I’m starting to believe that it’s always a good time for anger, Doctor. Can I go now?”
“It’s up to you, Laura. Always has been. No one can force you to join in. No one can force you to heal. See you tomorrow.”
“Maybe.” Laura slammed his office door on the way out, knowing full well that she was acting like a spoiled child and not caring a bit. She didn’t even know why she felt so angry.
She avoided the other groups in the common areas, although she’d been scheduled for several of the events this afternoon. She walked right past the gym, ran up the stairs to her room and slammed that door as well. Thanks to last night, this place wasn’t quite the haven it had been. And thanks to the knowledge that she might be having hallucinations, now she didn’t feel safe anywhere.
She sat in the chair next to the window, staring out and trying to think it all through. Watching the trees on the edges of the rehab center whipping around in the strong winds, she realized what the problem was. Laura had no control. Over anything at all in her life. She’d been taken hostage by the events around her for so long, ruled by the genes which dictated her very being, blind-sided by the control she’d relinquished, starting with her parents, and then Tony. One day the bottom just fell out. She had no way to hold on to the ground, nothing on which to base her life, no beliefs to carry her.
“Matthew,” she whispered his name to the empty room. She needn’t hallucinate about dead children – all she had to do was dredge her memory and there one was. Tears ran down her face, and she wiped them away, angry again. “I can’t think about him. Not here, not now.”
Fortunately at that moment Cassie breezed in. “What’s happening, Laura? You missed the lecture.” The she stopped and looked at Laura’s face. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
Laura sniffed and wiped her face with her sleeve. “Yeah. I yelled at Bryant.”
Cassie smiled a gentle smile. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. You need to get angry. It’s all part of the healing process. Didn’t you get the memo?”
Laura took in a deep ragged breath and began to sob. Cassie came over and knelt by the chair taking Laura into her arms in a soft embrace, letting her cry it all out.
Laura and Cassie grew closer after that day, supporting each other through the following weeks. Their relationship achieved a happy balance – Laura’s skepticism played off of Cassie’s beliefs, bringing them both to common ground. They talked about everything, no subject was too sensitive to explore. Except perhaps the subject of Cassie’s family. No one ever came to visit her, so Laura assumed she had none, until the day a letter arrived that upset Cassie.
“Bad news?” Laura asked gently.
“Yeah. Pretty bad. My sister says I’m being evicted from my apartment – she picked up the notice when she drove by to check on things.”
“You have a sister?”
“Yeah. But don’t ask. Anyway, I’m always running a little late on my rent, but I really thought the landlady would let it slide until I got out of here.” Cassie sighed. “Apparently not.”
“What will you do? Stay with your sister.”
Cassie frowned and shook her head. “Out of the question. So I’ve no idea what I’ll do.”
“Do you have any friends in the area?”
“Most of my friends are online ones. So no.”
Laura smiled. “Not true. I’m in the area. Why don’t you come and stay with me?”
Cassie’s face lightened. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
Laura reached over and touched Cassie’s hand. “It’s not a problem. I have the whole house all to myself. There’s lots of room and I could use the company. I spend way too much time alone.”
“Great. I can’t thank you enough.” Cassie crinkled up the letter from her sister and tossed it across the room. “Time for our deep breathing seminar. You coming?”
Chapter Ten
Despite the friendship she and Cassie shared, Laura was thrilled when rehab was over. The feeling of freedom amazed her and frightened her at the same time. She hardly knew what she would do with herself.
On the drive home, Laura was quiet and Mike respected her silence. She made a mental list of all the things she needed to take care of: she needed a job, first of all, one close to her house so she could walk if necessary. Then she planned to ask Tony for joint custody of the girls. If he didn’t agree, she’d find an attorney and sue for joint custody of the girls. If it came to that, it wasn’t going to be easy, but it was well worth the effort. She’d blown it with Tony for good, but could still salvage her relationship with her daughters.
Laura smiled to herself, thinking how nice it would be to see them both on a fairly regular schedule and began making plans for where they would sleep and how she would decorate their room. She was so deep in thought she barely noticed they’d pulled into her driveway.
“We’re here,” Mike said.
“Great. I’m so happy to be home.”
Laura got out of the car and walked up the sidewalk, pulling her keys out of her purse and opening up the front door to her house. Mike followed her and carried her suitcase.
“That’s easy for you, isn’t it? Opening the door?” he asked, coming in behind her.
She smiled at him. “Yeah. You put the key in the lock, turn the knob and voila! The door, she is opened.”
“Very funny, babe.” He shut the door behind him. “It’s just that it would never open up without a fight when I tried to get in.”
“Maybe,” Laura said absently, sorting through the stack of mail, “the house doesn’t like you.”
Mike snorted. “Yeah, right. So are you really happy to be home?”
“Very. Thanks for looking after things while I was gone. And thanks for coming to spring me.”
“My pleasure.” He walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him, nuzzling her neck. “I really missed you.”
Anubis chose that moment to come over to them and weave around all four of their legs. Mike stepped back and Laura stooped down, scratching the cat around his ears. He meowed, then purred, bumping up against her hand. “I missed you too, baby.”
“Was that comment for me?” Mike asked. “Or the cat?”
Laura chuckled as she stood up and turned around to face him. “Both of you, of course.”
After Mike left, Laura sat down at the dining room table with the Sunday paper, sipping her second cup of coffee. She felt almost dizzy from the caffeine buzz. “One month away from the stuff,” she said to the cat, nudging him off of the section of the paper she’d been reading, “and I’m already a weakling. I’ll have to get some decaf when I go to the store.”
She got up from the table and found a pen in one of her kitchen drawers, then sat back down to look at the want ads. She wasn’t sure what she was qualified to do – anything in sales was out of the question, since she couldn’t drive yet. Her real estate license had been revoked for a full year. And since public transportation in the suburbs was limited, any job would need to be nearby. She frowned. “Doesn’t leave that many options, does it, kitty?” She gave him a pat. “I wonder why I even bother.”
Prior to rehab, that sort of thought often led to depression and more drinking. Laura stopped, took a deep breath and used one of the methods she’d been taught. Visualizing a switch in her mind that turned off negative thoughts, she immediately changed gears and began to list the benefits. “I can always work in food services or retail; there are lots of places within walking distance. There will be openings, since the holidays are coming. And I’ll get to meet people on a daily basis – maybe it’s a good a chance to make new acquaintances.”
Laura s
at back in her chair and gave a small laugh. “That actually worked. Cool. Probably best, though, that I walk around and see what there is. Otherwise, I’ll waste a lot of time reading the ads and not get anywhere.”
She rose from her chair again, walked into the kitchen and dumped the rest of her coffee into the sink. Makes me too jittery, she thought, realizing that her hands were shaking. She washed them at the kitchen sink, the warm water helped to relax her. The doorbell rang while she was drying them off.
She opened the door to a petite blonde, dressed in a short leather jacket and a pair of designer jeans. “Hi, I’m Carolyn Crosby,” the woman introduced herself. “We live on Maple Grove, two houses from the corner. I saw that you were home, so I thought I’d stop by.”
“Laura Wagner,” Laura started to put her hand out, but saw that it was still shaking. Instead she opened the door a little wider. “Come in, please,” Laura said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Carolyn smiled, stepping into the house and looking around curiously, showing perfectly straight, white teeth.
Laura closed the door behind her and led her into the living room. Carolyn chose Laura’s favorite chair to sit in, so Laura sat down on the edge of the couch. “What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to ask you about that light in your basement.”
“Light?”
“The fluorescent one? We can see the sliding glass door down there from our family room. Anyway, the light’s been flickering a lot lately. And I wanted to make sure you knew it was happening. Maybe you need to change the bulb?”
Laura shook her head. “There isn’t a fluorescent bulb down there.”
Carolyn laughed rather unpleasantly. “Then you either need to stop flicking it on and off or you need to call an electrician.”
“I’ve been away for the last few weeks, actually. How long has this been happening?”
“For a few months now, at least. While this house stood empty, of course, it didn’t happen.”
Laura nodded. “No electricity, for one thing.”
“But now there is. And obviously there’s some sort of problem.”
“Well, I can assure you I’ve not been doing it.”
“No, no, I didn’t mean to imply that,” Carolyn corrected.
Sure you didn’t. You think I’m some crazy lady turning the lights on and off on a whim. Laura gave her what she hoped was a warm, grateful smile. “Anyway, I’m glad you told me. And I’ll call an electrician tomorrow.”
“Thanks.” Carolyn looked around, obviously not quite ready to leave.
“Would you like a cup of coffee? I just made a fresh pot,” Laura offered. “Thanks,” Carolyn smiled. “I’d love one.”
Laura stood and move toward the kitchen. Surprisingly, Carolyn followed.
Laura took a clean mug down from the shelf and poured it full. “Do you take anything in it?
“No, thanks, black is fine.”
Laura handed her the steaming mug and started toward the living room.
“Aren’t you having any?” Carolyn asked.
“No, I’m done. The caffeine makes me jittery.”
Carolyn laughed as she set the mug on a coaster on the coffee table and sat down in Laura’s chair again. “Jittery is what keeps me going.” Carolyn took a sip and made an appreciative sigh. “I don’t get enough coffee on the weekends, since I have to share the pot with my husband. Anyway, you said you were away? I thought I saw a car coming and going here.”
“You probably did. My boyfriend,” Laura couldn’t help the smile that word drew, “was here; feeding the cat and checking up on stuff.”
“Good idea. You don’t think he was flicking the lights on and off, do you?”
Laura pictured Mike frantically flipping the switch at the top of the stairs. She choked back a laugh. “Not likely.”
Carolyn settled back onto the chair, gripping her coffee mug between both hands. “Is he at all handy? Maybe he can check the wiring for you?”
“He’s a policeman.” Laura said. “I suspect electricity is beyond his expertise.”
Carolyn nodded vigorously. “Oh. I knew I’d seen him before. That’s Officer Gallagher, right?”
“You know him?”
“He does assemblies at the local schools. You know, anti-drug stuff. Half of the teenage girls have a huge crush on him.” Carolyn gave a snicker. “Hell, I suspect half of the women around here do as well.”
Laura smiled, not quite knowing what to say. Fortunately, Carolyn had no such problem.
“He seems very nice. Is he?”
“I haven’t known him for all that long, really. But he’s like my knight in shining armor.”
Carolyn gave what seemed to be an envious sigh.
“So,” Laura said, embarrassed and changing the subject. “Have you been in the neighborhood long?”
“I moved in after,” Carolyn said.
“After?”
“You know. After. The disappearances?”
“Ah. Mike mentioned something about that.”
Carolyn shook her head. “I heard it was awful. People were afraid to let their kids out. Do you have kids?”
“Yeah, two girls, twelve and eight.”
“No kidding. Me, too! That’s amazing. But they’re not living here, are they?”
“No, they’re with their father. They live over in Sewickley – not all that far away.” But it might as well be clear across country.
“He got custody? That’s kind of unusual, isn’t it?”
Laura could tell that Carolyn was prying, that she wanted the dirt on her relatively new neighbor, so the story could be repeated at the various coffee gatherings they must have here. Laura didn’t want to be a topic at the gatherings. “Yeah. He had a great lawyer.”
“I guess that happens. Too bad. Do you see them much?”
Back on safe ground again, Laura smiled. “They’ll be coming to spend about six days or so with me in two weeks. Tony – that’s my ex – is getting remarried and he and Susan—his new wife—wanted a romantic European honeymoon.”
“That’s very nice of you, Laura. I think if my husband divorced me and remarried, I’d not help out at all.”
Laura shook her head. “I’m not doing it for him; I’m doing it for the girls.”
“Of course.” Carolyn got up. “I should be getting back home. Thanks for the coffee. And the talk. Make sure you get that light checked out.”
“Will do.”
Carolyn took one last look around the house. “Next time I’ll ask you for the tour. This house is a bit different from all the others in the neighborhood. This plot is where the original farmhouse stood and the developers merely remodeled the old house to match the style of the other houses they planned to build.”
“Interesting. I knew the house was older than the rest of the development. Wondered why it didn’t seem that old. I didn’t know the whole story, though.” Or maybe I did and forgot it, she thought. I may have been a real estate agent, but I was also a drunk.
“Of course, before you moved in, the house stood empty for a while.”
“I bought it from the bank—a foreclosure.”
“Makes sense. The last people to live here were an older couple, Dolores and Bert Wellman; they owned the original tract of land that sold to the developers of Woodland Heights. Rumor has it that the man gambled away all of the money and they were forced to stay here. Apparently, they were like their house – didn’t quite fit in. It’s a bit of a sad story. They also say that after all the money was gone, he left her for a younger woman. And she, well, she…” Carolyn shook her head. “She just wasted away.
“That is sad.”
“And…well…” Carolyn stopped abruptly and pointedly looked at her watch. “I’d better go,” she scrunched up her face. “I’ve got the in-laws coming for dinner and I need to scrub the bathrooms before they show. Besides, we need to save stuff to talk about at a later date, right?”
She walked out to the kitchen and
put her cup in the sink. “Here,” she said, picking up Laura’s pen from the counter, “this is my phone number.” She wrote it down on a scrap of paper stuck to the refrigerator. “Call me soon. And let me know for sure when your girls get here. They can come up and play with mine. Or, since they’re getting too old to ‘play,’ they can hang out. Or whatever it is that kids do these days.”
Laura stood at the open door and waved as Carolyn walked up the street. Interesting, indeed. Carolyn had more to say, Laura was sure of it.
Chapter Eleven
Mike shuffled the papers on his desk, knowing it wasn’t going to get him any closer to going home. Or rather, going to Laura’s house. He’d had a romantic evening planned, but now that would have to wait. The department devised new reports every six months or so and each time Mike and his co-workers would spend a few extra nights figuring it all out. He sighed and picked up the phone.
Laura answered on the third ring – she sounded half asleep. “I’m sorry,” Mike said, “did I wake you?”
Laura gave a low laugh. “Almost. I’ve been waiting up for you.”
“Well, damn. I’m going to be here for at least another hour. Maybe two. Can I have a rain check for tonight?”
“Anytime.”
“How did your day go?”
“Good. I met a neighbor, went shopping, put in an application at the grocery store, interviewed and got the job…”
“Great! That was fast work.”
“They were hiring. And I can walk there. The pay’s not that great, but it’s a start. After that, I came home, ate some dinner and Renee picked me up for the meeting tonight. Then it was back home again and a nice relaxing hot shower. Since then, I’ve been sitting in a chair, watching television and dozing off. And if you’re not going to make it tonight, I guess I’ll just get to bed.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
Mike detected surprise in her voice. “Good. First day out can be a problem.”
Laura yawned. “I had some rocky moments, but managed to get through them. And for the first time in my life, I was happy grocery stores, in this state at least, don’t sell alcohol.”
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