“We’ll finish this discussion later,” said Dr. Knowbokov. “Rendezvous with Rail Blade and the Thrill at the Washington Monument.”
Nobody sighed, contemplating the long walk back to the monument. He looked around. There was an ambulance at the scene of the crashed police car. He could see the officer sitting up, staring at his absent hand, but alive.
“Humph,” he said. “Pretty damn great.”
Chapter Six
I Love This Place
The following day, Richard sat on the beach, rubbing the blisters on his feet. He hadn’t noticed how badly his feet hurt during all the excitement. He missed his old sneakers, the high top ones with the busted seams that he’d owned for years. Veronica had always nagged him to throw them away. His continued possession of them was the only fight he’d ever won with her. Now they were lost forever, vanished like everything else he’d valued in life. He looked out over the pale blue waves and the white sand leading to them. This looked like paradise. But his feet hurt, he was lonely, and he had every reason to believe that this was going to be a really bad day.
He glanced sideways as a shadow moved across the sand. The Thrill floated toward him, walking on air. The slight breeze caused her long blond hair to flow behind her. She wore a very revealing bathing suit with a pack of cigarettes stuck into the waistband. Richard noticed she was barefoot, and her toenails were painted emerald green.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m guessing you don’t get a lot of blisters, huh?”
“That’s the strangest conversation starter I’ve ever heard,” she said.
“I mean, on your feet. Seems like you always fly everywhere.”
“Wouldn’t you, if you could?”
“Sure,” said Richard. “I can’t even imagine it, though. It must be a real thrill. No pun intended.”
“Call me Sarah when I’m not on one of Dad’s missions,” she said. “Give me your hand.”
Richard reached up. She closed her hand around his. Suddenly, he was weightless, drifting upward to her side.
“Holy cow!” he said. He twisted in her grasp, trying to orient himself properly. He wound up with his feet over his head as he flailed his free hand around uselessly.
“You’re trying to use your muscles,” said Sarah. “Go limp. Let your mind move your body.”
Richard tried to relax, but couldn’t. He felt nauseous, and the sensation of looking at his feet and seeing sky beneath them made him instinctively tense up, preparing for a crash landing. He kicked his feet around, bringing them earthward, but they kept going, twisting him skyward again. His momentum pried him from Sarah’s grasp. He fell with a grunt to the warm sand.
“I guess I’ll stick to walking,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his neck. “Ow.”
“In that case, you need better shoes,” said Sarah, glancing at his blistered feet.
“You’re telling me,” said Richard. “For all the money your dad has, I swear he bought my shoes from Bulgarian Army Surplus.”
“I’ll call Mindo and tell her to get the helicopter ready,” said Sarah.
“For what?”
“Let’s pop over to Miami,” Sarah said. “Time to go shopping!”
Richard was surprised when the helicopter took them to the Sunshine State Mall off of 1-95. He had figured that Sarah would be heading someplace a little more upscale.
“I love this place,” Sarah said as they stepped onto the rooftop. “Four hundred and twenty-three stores of pure middle-class kitsch. Thirty-eight of them are shoe stores, so we’ll definitely find something that works for you.”
“Promise we won’t go to all thirty-eight,” said Richard.
“Sure,” said Sarah. “Once you’ve been to twenty or so, they all just run together anyway.”
She held out her hand to him once more. “Wanna try again? This time, just relax. Let me do the driving.”
“Relax,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “I’ll try.” He mimed relaxation, arms flopping at his sides, his knees bent. He swayed gently.
“You call that relaxed?” she asked. “You need some yoga lessons.”
“Nah,” said Richard. “I’ve always had a solution for when I really needed to relax. Medical scientists call this solution tequila.”
She took his hand. He closed his eyes. Again, he felt weightless, but he didn’t fight it. He peeked. They were floating over the edge of the mall, down to the parking lot. People were pointing at them. He began to feel disoriented, but he tried to shove the feeling from his mind. They landed safely seconds later, before he’d had time to really freak out.
“Was that so bad?” she asked.
“Landing was the best part,” he said.
By now, a dozen people had run up to them.
“Oh my God!” a teenage girl yelled. “You’re the Thrill!”
An older man said, “Miss, my brother was in Washington yesterday. You saved his life! Can I have your autograph?”
“Step back,” the Thrill said.
Everyone near her smiled and took one step back.
Sarah paused for a second to take out a cigarette and light it. The crowd stared silently, anticipating her next words. She blew out a stream of smoke, then said, “For the rest of the day you’ll leave me alone. You won’t tell anyone you saw me.”
The small crowd murmured in cheerful assent.
“Flying and mind control,” said Richard. “What kind of radioactive insect has to bite you to get that combination of powers?”
“It’s not mind control,” Sarah said, her eyes narrowing. “People just like to do what I ask them to do.”
Richard thought it wise not to respond to that. They went into the mall. It was about 11 A.M. on a Sunday, and the stores were just opening.
“I love getting here first thing in the morning,” said Sarah. “With all the chain gates clattering up and all the different music coming on, it sounds like the warm-up of a symphony.”
“That’s an interesting way of looking at it,” said Richard.
“My sister never does stuff like this,” Sarah said. “She has a team of personal shoppers and wardrobe experts who buy her clothes for her. I like to get down into the nitty-gritty. It helps keep me grounded.”
Richard looked down. Sarah was almost touching the ground, but not quite.
“Your sister does seem a little… restrained,” said Richard.
“My sister is fucking crazy, as is my father, and my mother. I might be, too. The life I’ve lived, it warps any sense of perspective, y’know?”
“I’m not the best person to ask,” said Richard. “I went crazy about ten days ago and still haven’t come to grips with it.”
“I don’t know,” said Sarah. “You seem OK to me. Kind of admirable, actually, given the crap Dad’s put you through. Oh, hey, let’s get cinnamon buns.”
“Sure,” said Richard. The cinnamon buns on display at the nearby shop did smell wonderful.
“Two of the big buns,” said Sarah to the cashier. “And two large lemonades.”
“That will be $8.70,” said the cashier, a skinny teenage guy who seemed very nervous.
“No,” said Sarah. “You’ll just give them to me.”
“With pleasure!” the kid said, smiling broadly.
“So,” said Richard. “You use your amazing gifts to take food from children.”
“With pleasure,” said Sarah. “Besides, it’s not like I’m stealing from this geek. I’m stealing from a corporation somewhere. Probably one my father owns, with any luck.”
The kid gave her a tray with the buns and drinks.
“Anything else?” he asked.
“Study hard and do well in school,” Sarah offered. She handed a bun to Richard. Tentatively, Richard tried to grasp it. To his relief, he could.
“I have a theory about how your powers work,” said Sarah. “I think you’ll do really well here in the mall, because here most people are invisible anyway. Even if people were looking right at me holding out a cinnamo
n bun to an invisible man, no one would notice because no one really looks at anyone else in the mall.”
“Maybe,” said Richard. “But you seem to be turning a few heads. I doubt a woman as beautiful as you ever really blends into the crowd.”
“I don’t know,” said Sarah. “I try to fit in. I sometimes feel like I’m fitting in. But I guess I’ll never know how the rest of the world sees me. That’s Dad’s superpower by the way.”
“Your dad knows how the rest of the world sees you? That’s a superpower?”
“He was bitten by a radioactive pollster,” said Sarah. “No, really, Dad’s like this super-telepath, right? He sees what’s going on in everyone’s head.”
“Everyone? In the whole world? All at once?”
“Well, not everyone, I guess. His power doesn’t work on Amelia or me. I don’t think it works on you.”
“Why wouldn’t it work on me?”
“Well, you didn’t step back earlier. My powers don’t have any effect on you, so you’re probably immune to Dad. Neither of our powers works on Amelia, either.”
“Are you immune to Amelia’s power?”
“Not the sharp steel blades part. But she can’t pick me up by my blood.”
“She what?”
“She does this thing where she picks people up by grabbing the iron in their blood.”
“This is just too strange,” said Richard. “You’re pulling my leg.”
“Nope. Hey, did I tell you Amelia and I have a code name for Dad? Dr. Know. Catchy, huh?”
“Copyrighted, probably.” Richard realized that this new information about his employer explained a lot of apparent non sequiturs in their conversations. And it meant something else. “So, your dad knows about your stealing cinnamon buns?”
“I assume so. He hasn’t mentioned it before. But, also, I think his power gets more focused the fewer people he concentrates on. He can get vague impressions from millions of people at once, or concentrate on a hundred and know their every last secret. But that’s not the worst thing Dad can do with his power.”
“Do tell.”
“He can take over people’s brains entirely. Use them like memory chips in a computer, to take over some of his thinking for him.”
“Must come in handy when he’s designing time machines and domed cities.”
Sarah sat down on a bench and motioned for Richard to follow.
“You can’t imagine what it’s like,” said Sarah. “Having a father who can watch your every move through the eyes of whomever it is you’re with. When I was seventeen, right? There was this guy named Vance I met at a Nine Inch Nails show. He was like, twenty or something, really cool, with long hair and dark eyes. Just the most awesome guy I’d laid eyes on, really. And Vance starts hitting on me, and I’m digging it, and we go back to his van and smoke some pot, and he, you know, starts doing stuff to me. And I like it. It was my first time even kissing a guy, and already he had my bra undone, and I’m just totally in the flow, no doubts whatsoever. But then the van lurches, like a car’s hit it or something, and the top of the van just peels off like it was tin foil, and there’s Amelia, wearing her nightgown, looking all pissed.
“Dad sent her. He knew what I was up to because he was inside Vance. My father was inside the head of a guy who had his hands in my panties.”
“Shit,” said Richard. “I mean, wow, shit. That’s horrible.”
“You can’t imagine,” said Sarah. “Dad grounded me, of course. But it didn’t matter. I mean, what was I going to do after that? I could never let another guy touch me again.”
“That’s awful,” said Richard. “What a lousy hand to be dealt.”
“Have you been with a lot of women, Richard?” asked Sarah.
“What?”
“You were married, right?”
“Yeah. In a different lifetime. Her name was Veronica.”
“Was she your first?”
“Um,” said Richard. “No. No, I saw my share of action in college. Look, I don’t want to seem evasive, but I’m trying not to think about my old life. I need to put all those memories as far behind me as I can if I’m going to get through this. Whenever I start remembering things, then realize that those things never happened as far as this world is concerned, it makes me feel like my head might split in two.”
“The hand you’ve been dealt is as fucked up as mine,” said Sarah. “Do you mind if we do a test? Just to make sure you’re immune to my powers?”
“Sure.”
“Take off your clothes,” said Sarah.
“No,” said Richard.
“Hmm. How about… you take off my clothes?”
“Here? In public?”
“Oh, I guess not,” said Sarah. “You do seem immune to my charms.”
“Well, immune to your powers at least,” said Richard. “I still find you charming.”
“One last try: kiss me.”
She closed her eyes and puckered.
Richard couldn’t believe this was happening. He decided to fail her test. He moved his lips to hers. They were warm and slightly sticky, with a hint of cinnamon. He could feel her trembling.
“I’ve dreamed about someone like you,” she whispered as they parted. “Someone my father can’t get inside of. You can’t know what it’s like to look into your eyes and not worry that my father might be looking back.”
“I’m flattered,” said Richard. “I really am. But, things have been so crazy for me. My life is in such a strange spin. What do you really know about me? What do I know about you? I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship right now.”
“Who said anything about a relationship?” asked Sarah. “Let’s just go someplace and make out.”
Richard stared at her. He didn’t know which was easier to believe, that he’d never been born or that a woman as sexy and powerful as Sarah was coming on to him. He grinned like a man taking a second glance at his winning lottery ticket. He leaned forward and kissed her once more. He drew the kiss out this time, placing his hands in her silky hair.
He pulled away and they sat in magical silence, savoring the moment.
Sarah grabbed his hand.
“Come on,” she said.
She dragged him into the nearest shoe store, which sold athletic shoes. The clerk stared slack-jawed as she approached.
“You,” she said. “Go home early.”
“Hell yes!” said the clerk, jumping over the counter.
“What size do you wear?” Sarah asked Richard.
“Nine.”
She quickly found the section with that size shoe and grabbed the first one that caught her eye.
“Try these on.”
He took the shoes and sat down on the bench. She sat down next to him. They were out of view of any passersby in the mall. She kissed him again.
The shoe fell from his hand.
She broke off the kiss.
“So do they fit?” she asked.
“What?”
“The shoes.”
“I haven’t—”
“Say ‘yes’.”
“Yes,” he said.
“Good. Let’s take them. We’re done shopping. There’s a store on the upper floor that sells big, black, overstuffed leather couches. I’ve always wanted to make out on a big, black, overstuffed leather couch.”
Richard picked the shoes up and stuck them under his arm.
“Done shopping in thirty seconds and now you want to make out,” said Richard. “My God, Sarah, you’re like my dream woman.”
“Enough chitchat,” she said, taking him by the hand once more. Once again, they were flying, his feet several inches from the ground. It felt perfectly natural to him, completely sensible. This was turning out to be a really good day.
Chapter Seven
More Elaborate Ways to Break My Sanity
The following week turned into one of the best of Richard’s life, old or new. He and Sarah had spent the rest of the day hanging around the mall, stealing s
tuff and making out in full view of an oblivious public. Any qualms he had had about using Sarah’s powers to swindle shopkeepers quickly vanished. It wasn’t like they would accept his credit cards anyway.
“The world is good,” Sarah had said, “and made for our pleasure.”
Richard subscribed to her philosophy very quickly. Why shouldn’t he take every pleasure the world offered? Especially when life with Sarah offered so many pleasures. The island offered endless miles of pristine beaches for them to walk upon and talk of life. In the landscaped gardens of her father’s estate, the grass was like soft bedding as they lay together. In the middle of the night they would slip from her bedroom and raid the enormous kitchen and eat delicacies. Even if all the luxury of wealth had been stripped away, Sarah alone would have made his life heaven. She was wonderful to talk to, so open and honest. Her cynical wit matched and often exceeded his. He hung on her every word.
On those rare moments when he and Sarah weren’t together, Richard would roam the vast mansion. One of the odder things Richard noticed was how few people lived there. As near as he could gather, outside of the Knowbokov family, only two other people inhabited the island, Mindo and the chef, Paco.
The person he most often ran into was Mindo, Dr. Knowbokov’s seven-foot-tall personal assistant. In fact, Mindo was nearly ubiquitous. Richard would go to the garden, and there would be Mindo practicing martial arts with Amelia. He’d walk to the spa, and find Mindo giving Sarah a massage. Moments later, in the library he would spot Mindo serving Katrina tea.
He once asked Dr. Knowbokov if he’d cloned Mindo and the Doctor had laughed and complimented him on his imagination. When he asked Sarah if Mindo had a twin sister, she looked at him oddly, dismissing his question. And he never actually saw two Mindos at the same time, so eventually he just stopped worrying about it. He was invisible to Mindo, so it wasn’t like he was ever going to sit down and chat with her.
As near as Richard could determine, all maintenance work on the island was done by machines. Solar powered, robotic mowers crawled silently over the lawn. Foot-long, crablike robots scuttled through the rooms of the mansion, gathering up discarded laundry and empty plates. He even wandered into a room where a larger robot was repairing the smaller robots. Richard took the presence of the robots in stride. They just seemed a natural fit in Dr. Knowbokov’s little mad scientist universe.
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