“Why are you doing this?”
“Because you’re the only one who can make her feel better. I fucking hate seeing her like this.”
“What if she gets pissed at you like Jade said?”
“As long as she’s happy, it’ll be worth it,” he mumbles. “Please, just make her stop crying.”
I should be interrogating Jake about his obvious feelings for Kacie, but that’s not what’s happening. I’m running toward my truck. Running toward the girl who has somehow managed to turn my world upside down.
Chapter Fourteen
Kacie
Staring up at the twinkling stars in the clear night sky used to make me feel better. Although Gram was here then, so it’s very possible it never had anything to do with the stars. Dealing with all of this bullshit wasn’t what I had in mind when I decided to come home. My parents are one thing, but Evan was completely unexpected. He came out of nowhere. Never in my life have I wanted anyone this badly. Not even Nate. Why the fuck do I have to fall for someone at the worst time? And with Evan, of all people? When we’re together, he makes me feel like the only girl he’s ever wanted. When he touches me, it’s almost as if he takes control of my soul. For some reason, I always do exactly what he wants or expects of me without conscious effort. How does that happen with someone I only recently met?
Sitting out here isn’t helping, so I decide it’s best to head inside and get ready for bed. Before I manage to collect myself enough to get up off of the chair, I notice a shadowy figure coming from the yard next door. This is just icing on the fucking cake. What makes him think now is a good time for company? Without saying a word, Jake flops into the empty lounge beside me and holds out a beer.
“Smart move,” I say, taking it from him. “I was just about to send your ass home.”
He chuckles. “Please don’t. Jade and Kyle just went upstairs. I really don’t want to be around for their first time.”
Leave it to Jake to make me laugh when I have no desire to. “Yuck.”
“Seriously,” he agrees. Jake leans back in the chair, crosses his legs at his ankles, and sips on his beer. “So, you want to tell me what Evan did wrong tonight to make you bolt out of the club?”
Why can’t he just sit there and shut the hell up? “He didn’t do anything wrong. That’s the problem,” I respond.
“What?”
For a few moments, I don’t answer. “He spent time with me tonight even though he was working. He was ready to kill Ava when she tried to start shit. Then the whole thing with Connor.” I shake my head. “The look on Evan’s face when he saw how upset I was…”
“Then why did you want to leave so badly?” he asks, not waiting for me to finish. “Why are you so upset?”
“Because,” I sigh.
“I’m not a mind reader. Care to elaborate on that?”
“I’m getting too close. I need to take a step back.”
“You need to take a step back? What the hell does that even mean?” Jake wonders.
“I like him more than I should. If I don’t distance myself now, it will only hurt more later on,” I admit, more to myself than to my friend.
Jake swings his legs over the side of the chair to face me. He sets his beer down on the ground between us and grabs onto the side of my chair. “Kacie, if you like him, why don’t you want to be with him?”
Suddenly, I’m thankful for the darkness because Jake isn’t able to make out the look on my face or see the tears escaping down my cheeks. For some reason, it’s weird talking to him about Evan this way. “There’s no way I can bring anyone else into this fucked up reality of my life. It’s bad enough you and Jade are stuck in it. I can’t give my parents any more people to lash out at when they get angry with me. Don’t even get me started on that jackass doctor my mother thinks I should be dating. In her sick and twisted head, she already has me married to the son of a bitch. And you already know the part about the house.”
“First of all, Jade and I aren’t stuck in your life. We’re here because we want to be. We’ll always be here, just like you are for us. Second, fuck your parents. I’m sick of them making you feel like you don’t get to make your own choices. You’re an adult now and there’s nothing they can do to you, Kacie. Third, this house is yours. Even if they pull some ridiculous shit, we won’t let them touch it. Neither will Mary.” He pauses momentarily to take a breath. “She was in the office when I stopped by the other day to drop off Jade’s lunch. I pulled her aside and she assured me everything was fine. You have to trust her. She’s always been on your side. As for Evan, tell him what’s going on. Let him decide if he wants to hang around or not. You shouldn’t make this choice for him, the same way your parents shouldn’t do it to you.”
“I thought you were on my side,” I say, irritated.
“I am and always will be.”
“Why are you ‘Team Evan’, anyway?” I want to know. If Jade was right about her brother still having feelings for me, why would he be pushing me to be with his friend?
Jake lets go of my chair to pick up his beer. “Because he’s who you want.”
“Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want. I can’t date him, Jake.” My head falls back to rest against the chair. “I’m sure he’ll forget all about me in a few days.” After running out of Skyline, I turned off my phone, with no plans of switching it back on or answering the door. Yup, I will just hide out until he’s moved on. Sounds like a plan to me.
“Damn you, Kacie!” he snaps. “You’re the most infuriating female on this planet!”
“Only the planet?” I whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear. “I must be slipping.”
“You’re not funny,” he growls.
“I’m not trying to be.”
“You realize you could be making the biggest mistake of your life all because of your parents, right? The same parents who have only ever cared about themselves?” Frustration has gotten the best of him. He doesn’t usually talk to me like this.
“Wouldn’t you do anything you could to keep someone you cared about away from your worst demons?” I stand up next to him and lean over to kiss his cheek. “I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day. Good night, Jake.”
“Want me to come in?” he softly asks.
“I need to be alone.” I know telling him no will more than likely hurt his feelings, but it’s the truth. Hearing him try to talk me out of what I feel is necessary will only tear me apart more.
“Call if you need anything,” he says, getting up from the chair. Jake walks away, but I don’t watch him go. Who needs that much heartbreak in one night?
***
Morning took its old sweet time getting here. Every second that I laid in bed unable to close my eyes felt like an eternity. The couple of times I was able to get them to lower weren’t any better. The inside of my eyelids acted as a movie screen, replaying tidbits of the times Evan and I spent together. It was much easier to stare at the plain, white ceiling where I couldn’t see those crystal clear, blue eyes glaring back at me. The moment daylight streamed in my room, I jumped out of bed and began my eleven mile run. It was tempting to stretch out my normal summertime route a little, but I really try not to do that when the temperature is expected to climb so early in the day. Dying of heat exhaustion just seems like a lousy way to go. The run, followed by a nice long shower, proved to be just what I needed. After a quick breakfast, I was able to fall sound asleep for a few hours without a particular handsome boy popping in and out of my head.
My peace and quiet disappears all too soon. A tornado, better known as my best friend, comes blowing through the front door. “Kacie!” she shouts repeatedly as she makes her way through the foyer and into the living room. I should consider changing the locks and not giving anyone a new key. Jade only stops screaming when she finds me curled up on the sofa. “Why haven’t you answered your phone?” she demands.
“I turned it off. It will probably stay that way for a few days,” I mumble, my
head still on the fluffy throw pillow.
My friend sighs, obviously disappointed with my response. “Well, let’s go. Jake’s driving and he wants to make a quick stop before we go to Meg’s.”
“I’m not going,” I inform her. When I slide up to a sitting position, I see Kyle came in with her. Since when does Jade need reinforcements?
“Stop fooling around, Kacie. Go get dressed. Kyle, can you please run out and tell Jake we’ll be there in a minute? Actually, just tell him Kacie’s being difficult. He’ll understand.”
“I’m serious, Jade. I’m not going. Kyle, take her with you,” I say, lying back down.
“Kacie Foster, get your ass up right this minute! I’m not going to stand here and let you do this!”
Kyle doesn’t know whether he should stay or go. “Don’t forget you promised that you wouldn’t say my name in front of Evan, and what I told you last night stays between us,” I remind her. I suppose Jake didn’t tell her that he and I spoke last night because she doesn’t call me out on it. “Kyle, I don’t care if you have to carry her. Get her out of here or, I swear, I’ll hurt you.”
“You’re being ridiculous!” Jade declares, throwing her arms into the air.
“Have fun at the party,” I say, ignoring her.
“We don’t have to go to Meg’s. We can go somewhere else. I’m sure Jake won’t mind,” she pleads.
“Jade, I don’t feel like it. We’ll do something tomorrow, okay?”
“No! It’s not okay but, apparently, I don’t have a choice!” my friend yells. She doesn’t say goodbye before she takes Kyle by the hand and leaves, slamming the front door on her way out. That went a hell of a lot better than I thought it would.
Over the next hour, I clean my room and bathroom. Once that’s done, I strip the beds in the guest rooms from when the girls spent the night. After they are remade and the washer is running, I grab the book Jade has been bugging me to read for the last few months and go outside. The lounges are more comfortable, but I feel like being in the garden. Being surrounded by the flowers Gram and I planted relaxes me. Before I sit down, I check around to see if any of the flowers need water. They rarely do since the sprinkler system runs every morning, but it gets so hot this time of year that the soil sometimes dries out quickly. The gardener Jade hired while I was away at college still comes to mow the lawn and to tend to the gardens. I figured once school starts, I won’t have time to do it myself so it would make sense to keep him around. Plus, Jade was right. He is nice to look at.
When I finally sit down on the swing, thoughts of Evan pop back into my head. Will he be happy or disappointed when I don’t show up at his cousin’s party? How long will it take him to forget about me? Will I ever be able to forget about him? Something tells me Evan Pierce will be on my mind for a very, very long time. Maybe someday, we’ll meet again and the timing will be better. Or maybe not. With my shitty luck, he’ll be in love with someone else and not even remember me. As I stare out over the wildflowers, another tear runs down my cheek.
“Is it wrong that I’m desperately hoping you’re thinking about me?” The unexpected sound of Evan’s voice scares the shit out of me. My ass practically leaps off of the wooden swing as my hand tries to shove my erratically beating heart back into place.
“Jesus Christ, Evan!” I eventually get out. “Are you trying to kill me?”
He smiles, but it’s not his normal sexy smirk. Knowing I’m the reason for that hurts. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to scare you.” He bends down, picks a daisy, and slowly strolls along the paved walkway until he’s standing in front of me. I move the book to make room for him to sit down. “I wasn’t even trying to be quiet,” he says, handing me the flower. I can only offer a small smile. Evan starts to rock us, so I pull my legs up onto the swing. “So, were you thinking about me?” He doesn’t look at me which hurts even more.
“You’re all I seem to be able to think about lately,” I confess. My plan to ignore him is much easier to carry out when he’s not sitting right next to me. “Evan, you need to go. You need to get away from me.” It would be so much easier if he just left.
“No,” he replies with a degree of certainty I almost believe.
“You have to. It’s not right to ask you to hang around and deal with the bullshit from my family.”
“Maybe you should ask me and see what I say.” Evan takes my hand and holds it in his. “But, the truth is, you don’t have to because I’m not leaving.”
“You don’t understand…”
“No, Kacie. You don’t understand. From the moment we met, it was obvious there was something different about you. Something I had never seen before. It took me a little bit to figure out exactly what it was. As odd as it sounds, it’s how you make me different.” He realizes I’m not sure what he’s trying to say. “You allow me to be myself,” he clarifies. “The real kick in the ass is, over the last six years, I’ve forgotten who that was. I’ve been hiding behind this version of myself that I created when Ethan died. I became the tough guy who didn’t care about anyone except himself. I shut everyone out.” Evan casually raises my hand to his lips, kisses it softly, and gently lowers it back down to his lap. He has no idea how much those small things melt my heart. “If it means that I have to deal with the pain again, so be it, but I don’t want to be that person anymore.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I whisper.
“Because I want you to know that you’re important to me and I don’t let important things go without a fight. On my way over here, I started thinking. My theory is that deep down, you feel the same way.” I turn to face him and he smiles. “Don’t give me that look,” he laughs lightly. “There’s no way you didn’t feel anything when you were kissing me last night. Even if it was brief, there was a moment when you and I were the only two people in the club. You forgot about everyone around us.” Then he softly says, “It was just you and me.”
One by one, stupid tears glide effortlessly over my smooth skin. “It was longer than a moment,” I whisper.
He sighs, but smiles at me. “I get that you have to be cautious about the things you do because of your parents. You don’t have to tell me the details until you’re ready. I’m not asking to change how things are between us, Kacie. I like this.” He squeezes my hand encouragingly or hopefully. I’m not sure which. “Hanging out. Having lunch. That’s all fine with me. No one else has to know that you have turned my world upside down. For now, we can just make it our little secret. But what I won’t do is let you walk away from whatever this is. Not unless you can honestly tell me you don’t want it. All you have to do is look me in the eye and say you don’t want whatever is happening here.” With the hand that’s holding mine, he reaches up to turn my chin toward him. He appears unsure of what I’ll say. “Now’s your chance. Go ahead and tell me you don’t want this.”
“I turn your world upside down?”
“You do.” Evan rests his forehead on mine. “Don’t distract me with questions you already know the answers to.” I can’t think straight when he’s this close to me. A million things are running through my head. Things like how I should lie to keep him safe from the insanity, how much I really do want this, how my lungs feel like they’re having difficulty filling with air, how the look in his eyes is making me want to tell him what he wants to hear. “You…you realize I’m waiting for you to…to actually answer me, right?” he stumbles over the words.
I take in a deep breath to steady my nerves, then slowly release it. “But you told me to tell you if I didn’t want this. You never said to answer either way.”
Evan squeezes his eyes closed tightly and smiles. “I guess you’re right,” he says, opening them again. “Smart ass.”
“I still think you should walk away. If my parents came after you to hurt me…”
“Shh,” he interrupts. “I can take care of myself, Kacie. Besides, they can’t do anything to me.”
“But you don’t even know them. They’re heartless peopl
e who step on anyone to get what they want. Even if they don’t do anything to you directly, they can still hurt you. Everyone who cares about me feels the pain when they start their shit. One time, Jade was visiting me at my parents’ house while they were out. My dad walked in the kitchen at the same time I accidentally dropped a glass. He screamed in my face for ten minutes about how I’ll never amount to anything. Then, before he walked out of the room, he blamed my incompetence on being friends with Jade. She had nightmares about my father for months after that.”
“First of all, I’d never let the son of a bitch raise his voice to you. And second, there’s nothing he could say about me that I’d even lose a wink of sleep over.”
“Jade wasn’t bothered by what he said about her. It was how upset he made me that tore her apart.”
“Please don’t worry about this shit.” He kisses my head, then whispers, “We’ll deal with them if or when something happens, but for now, just let me try to figure out why I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“That’s easy,” I say. Really, I have no idea, but hearing him admit to thinking about me has feelings of excitement, nervousness, and terror streaming through me. “It’s because I’m awesome.”
My cockiness makes him laugh. “You think that’s it, huh?” Evan scoops me up off of the swing and places me on his lap. Again, I don’t try to stop him or get away. I let him do whatever he wants. It’s quite possible that I always will. “You might be right. I’ll let you know when it comes to me.”
“Okay. If you want to waste your time, go right ahead,” I say.
“Kacie?”
“Hmm?”
“Shut up,” he tells me. I’d respond with some sort of quirky remark, but the gleam in his eyes lets me know what he’s going to do. It’s the same sparkle he had last night at the club and the other morning after he unexpectedly spent the night. Slowly, his head tilts to mine and, automatically, mine leans in, as well. He takes his time by bringing his hand up to brush along my cheek, then he tucks a stray curl behind my ear. I won’t rush him. Not this time. Not any time. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Evan Pierce, it’s that the man will make my heart stop the moment his lips meet mine. The few seconds before that…well, the only word capable of coming close to describing the feeling is magical.
Left Behind: Left Behind Series #1 Page 18