Heat was rising from his stomach now as irritation blossomed into fury. He must control his temper, he reminded himself silently, and a smile that was more akin to a grimace appeared on his face.
“It was not a test, just a question,” he said, and heard with horror that the anger was in no way hidden in his voice. “Look no deeper than that, Miss Vaughn, for there are no hidden depths to my words.”
Feel something, he wanted to say, to cry out, to beg. Tell me something, reveal to me actually how you feel. How have we managed to end up in a polite bicker?
Her eyes, even more green in the morning light, were attempting to look away from him, fixing on something out in the garden but flickering back to him every ten seconds or so. Is this hostility because she does feel something for me, or she does not, Moses wondered helplessly. Perhaps, and the thought made him feel even more miserable, she was just as afraid of intimacy – real, emotional, vulnerable intimacy – as he was.
Chloe tried not to watch him through her lashes, but she was drawn to him like a magnet. He was handsome, yes, and now that she had seen the full richness of his body currently hidden by those clothes, it was all she could do not to stare at him openly – but she wanted more than that.
Why did he not follow her as she moved across the room? She wanted the feel of his hand on hers, the heavy and reassuring weight of his arm around her shoulders, the sense that he wanted her to stay, that he hated the idea that she would be gone within minutes.
When the topic had danced close to their incredible night together, she wanted him to admit that it had meant something to him: that all their talk about emotionless lovemaking was nonsense now that they had shared it together, that it meant something, and that it could not be allowed to occur just once …
And yet he just sat there. As Chloe’s eyes flickered over to him once more, she saw with sadness rising in her heart that his head was low.
Her lips parted to speak, but no words came out. What could she say? That she ached for him because she knows that he has been hurt before? That she ached for him in that darkest and most delicious part of her that he had teased to ecstasy mere hours before?
She wanted to tell him that he was a gentleman who she never wanted to leave, and that she was a lady worthy of him too, worthy to be a baronet’s wife. Perhaps she could rise, perhaps she could step over across those few feet between them, take his face in her hands, and kiss him …
“You said to me,” Moses had said, “that you do not believe romance to be necessary for a successful marriage. What was it you said, exactly – that it is possible for two people to come together – ”
She shivered. She would not force him to it then, as he had been so set against it. The last thing that she would want to do is put him in a delicate position that he could not escape from. But would she regret that for the rest of her life?
“Sir Moses,” she began gently. His head rose quickly and his dark eyes brightened as they beheld her. Something in Chloe stirred and her heart began to race.
And then his head turned from her and looked out of the window. A carriage was pulling up to the house.
Her heart sank. It was not a carriage that she recognised, to be sure, and she could not be entirely certain that it was Lady Kathryn within – but then the tall carriage clock was chiming the hour of eleven, and could it not be Ramsbottom’s carriage which she had borrowed, it being statelier to visit a baronet?
From this perspective, she could not see who descended from the carriage as it stopped at the door, but she just knew it in her heart. Lady Kathryn was here to take her away from this place, and from Moses. The man that she had fallen completely in love with, but who did not even seem to notice that she was about to leave.
“Ah,” said Sir Moses in a slightly strangled voice. “I see that … Miss Vaughn, before anyone arrives I must tell you that – ”
The door of the morning room opened, and Chloe did not turn around, her spirits were so despondent. So, Lady Kathryn was here, and all she had to do now was depart with a polite smile, and her acquaintance with Sir Moses Wandorne would be at an end.
“May I introduce the Count of Stratham and Lady Olivia Stratham, his sister,” came Baxter’s voice.
Chloe jolted in her chair and rose hastily. A tall man with chestnut brown hair and a laughing voice was striding into the room, accompanied by a dazzlingly beautiful woman wearing a light blue gown of the latest fashion, and her hair elegantly piled upon her head.
Sinking into a deep curtsey that was completely ignored by the new arrivals as they walked into the room with their eyes fixed on Moses, Chloe felt her long hair around her shoulders and cringed slightly at her appearance. Of course she would look like this when a Count came to call!
“By Jove, you are actually properly dressed for once, Wandorne!” The Count laughed as he strode forward and shook Sir Moses’ hand.
Chloe, unsure exactly whether she was permitted to sit down if the Count and his sister had not yet acknowledged her, stood awkwardly. As if she had not been an imposition enough, here she was, interrupting a visit between her host and what must be a very close friend, if the way that the Count now threw himself onto the sofa and pushing Moses away to sit elsewhere was any indication.
“Now then, Wandorne, you see what I have brought you?” The Count gestured lazily at his sister, who had remained standing but smiling at their host. “Your fiancée, as promised – and not a day too late I assure you!”
Cold ice sank into her heart. There was ringing in her ears that could come from no precise source, and she felt dizzy, with a pain in her chest.
“Ah, but I see that you have company already!” The Count beamed at her, and nodded his head as a greeting. “Not going to introduce us, Wandorne?”
“It … it was all a lie,” Chloe managed, her eyes fixed on Moses, who did not yet seem to understand her words. Burning shame and regret was pouring into her lungs and she could barely speak. “A lie. You lied to me.”
There stood the fiancée that had supposedly died. There sat the brother who had supposedly been a poor doctor. Hot tears threatened to fall, but Chloe dashed them away. How could she have been so stupid? A dead fiancée, a miserable life: it had all been a lie to entice her into his bed – and she had followed like a sheep, so easily, so willingly.
“I apologise, my lord. I have to leave,” was all that she could manage before the tears started to fall, thick and fast down her cheeks, and she ran out of the room as the shouts from Sir Moses, muffled by the confused cries from his friends, echoed behind her.
8
Nausea rose in his chest, and bile bit at his throat.
“Chloe,” Moses muttered without conscious thought and started to run towards the door where she had just disappeared, but a strong hand pulled him back.
“Wandorne?” Anthony, the Count of Stratham, blinked at him confused. “What the devil is going on?”
“Let me go!”
Anthony laughed. “Well I will not let you go, and let that be a lesson to you! Tell me what is – ”
“Blast you, Stratham!” Moses exploded, almost relieved to pour out his fear and panic. “What in God’s name did you think you were doing, eh? I certainly did not invite you, and you are unwanted, uncherished, and an idiot!”
Lady Olivia raised her eyebrows, shocked at his outburst, but Moses did not care. What did he care for society’s norms and rules? Chloe had just left him, thinking that he was engaged – thinking that he had lied, that everything he had said to her was a falsehood!
“You have ruined everything,” spat Moses, tugging his arm free of Anthony’s arm. “If there is one thing that the teachers at Eton never managed to do, it was to make you learn when to keep your big mouth shut!”
Splutters of confusion and offence were now emanating from the Count, but Moses did not heed him. All his thoughts were on Chloe; she could not have gone far. He had not heard Lady Kathryn’s carriage, after all, and the grounds were not extensive
. He could find her, he could catch her up and explain everything!
Sprinting out of the room, he almost floored a housemaid who shrieked and dropped the tray that she was carrying. Tea, china, and sugar cubes flew into the air but Moses did not care.
The hallway, that would be where she was. She would find Baxter, and Baxter would stop her – or would he? Moses thought he was going to be sick as he raced down a corridor. The last instructions that he had given Baxter with regard to Chloe was to throw her out of the house – what if he allowed her to go?
“Chloe!” He shouted as he skidded into the hallway – empty. The front door was open, and into the bright brilliance that shone into his eyes in the darkness of the hall he saw three things that almost made his heart stop.
Firstly, a carriage, large and stately. Second, Baxter, standing by it. And thirdly…
“No, Chloe wait!”
But his words were ignored as Baxter held out his hand for Miss Vaughn to enter the carriage. Pelting through the door, Moses saw in horror that Lady Kathryn must have arrived one or two minutes after Anthony.
But he could make it – he was mere feet from it. “Miss Vaughn – ”
The horses were whipped and the carriage pulled away, gravel flying in Moses’ face as he watched helpless. The carriage picked up speed, and was soon far down the drive.
Moses spun around. “Baxter, why did you not stop Chloe … Miss Vaughn from leaving?”
Baxter raised an eyebrow at his breathless master, and Moses felt a wash of embarrassment overwhelm him. “Why, sir, I was not aware that I was required to. I was under the impression that sir wanted to be left alone. Was that wrong?”
Moses turned his head to watch the carriage turn the corner, and disappear out of sight. No, Baxter had not been wrong. But twenty four hours ago, he had been exactly correct: but now that he had met Chloe, what did her company compare to lonely solitude? She made him feel like he was not alone – not simply because she was company, but because she understood him. She saw the great depths of pain he had suffered, his bitterness, his hatred of fate and the world, and she had embraced him as though … as though she had …
“Who was that girl, Wandorne?”
The Count of Stratham had stepped out of the house, and had the grace to look a little sheepish.
“Miss Chloe Vaughn,” Moses snapped, but the fire of anger was dissipating even now. Now that it was too late. “And Miss Chloe Vaughn did not deserve to be treated that way.”
“Oh, Moses, I am sorry,” came the gentle voice of Lady Olivia. She had followed her brother out of the front door, and had a concerned look on her face. “You know that it was merely a jest. ‘Tis a joke that we have had since childhood, you and me. Our parents always laughed at it, and so did we.”
Moses scowled at her. “Do I look as if I am laughing?”
She shook her head slowly, her eyes wide and concerned. “I hope that it has not caused any … any damage between you?”
Moses hung his head. Damage? How could he put into words the irrevocable damage that had been created? It was impossible to say, and it sounded mad even when he thought about it. A woman he had met twelve hours ago had left him, and he felt bereft. As though sunshine itself was never going to warm him again.
“It has caused damage,” he said bitterly, but with no heat. “You may never know the ruin that you have done me, Stratham.”
His friend moved forward and grasped his arm. “I admit, I have never seen you so animated before. Well, not since … not since Charlotte was alive. What on earth has happened?”
“Chloe Vaughn!” Moses exploded, voice heavy with passion and regret and pain. “Chloe Vaughn has happened to me, and now that I have lost her, I am completely done for, Stratham. She thinks that I am a liar and a cheat, a man who cares so little for the truth that I blatantly disregard it at every opportunity. What have I done – what have you done? I - I barely know what to do with myself!”
He felt their eyes on him, and his cheeks darkened with shame and with anger. That he would have to suffer through this again – it was like another bereavement.
Anthony’s eyes had widened. “Done for? My good man, you have never been done for in all your life, and especially not now. Why on earth should that be the case? You should go after her!”
Moses hesitated. It would not be impossible to discover the residence of Lady Kathryn Callaghan, that was certain. There was no reason why he could not find out – but how could he face her again? How could he look Chloe in the eyes and try to explain?
“Moses,” said Anthony quietly, and Moses looked up at the sound of his first name. “If there had been anything – anything at all – that you could have done to save Charlotte then you would have done it. Am I right?”
Anthony’s sister moved forward and took Moses’ hand, squeezing it. Moses felt tears start to burn in his eyes, and unable to speak, he nodded.
“Now you have a chance to do something to save your relationship with this Miss Vaughn,” continued Anthony in a low voice, “and you should not hesitate. Go to her.”
“G - Go to her?” Moses spluttered, his eyes wide. “Ye gods man, I have not left the grounds of Wandorne for nigh on a year!”
The mere thought of leaving them was starting to make his head hurt, and the light of the morning was overly bright in his eyes.
But the look of his friend’s eyes did not waver. “You should not hesitate,” Anthony repeated. “Hesitate, my dear boy, and you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“…and I trust that we will not have to suffer this again!”
Lady Kathryn was looking at her, and Chloe did not have to try to look forlorn. She had never felt pain like this, never known betrayal like this. Were there even words for it?
The carriage jolted over a stone, and it seemed to provoke another thought in her companion.
“And another thing,” said Lady Kathryn. “You should never have gone off on your own, Miss Vaughn. ‘Twas most indiscrete of you. You could have got lost, you could have found it impossible to find the house again, and then what would you have done in the storm? You would have been done for, Miss Vaughn. A cold, perhaps a fever!”
Chloe nodded sadly, and her eyes drifted to the window. They were still rattling through the Wandorne estate; it was only now that she realised just how large it was.
“I was left to worry about you and hunt for you in vain,” continued Lady Kathryn, and Chloe was touched to hear genuine concern in her voice. “Even when I received Sir Moses’s note from … Baxter, was it? Well whoever it was, though it did relieve my heart that I had not misplaced you entirely, I then had to bear the knowledge that you were putting poor Sir Moses at such an inconvenience.”
The sound of his name, twice in quick succession, seemed to pour salt into Chloe’s heartbreak. How could a fiancée just reappear in front of your eyes? How could he tell such falsehoods with such innocence and pain; she had truly believed him, every word. Her heart had ached for him then, but it ached for herself now.
“If I were to be as honest with you as I try to be with myself I would say … I would say that the idea of loving again terrifies me. Of not being able to keep someone that I care about safe in the future. It paralyses me, and so I have come to accept, bitter as it is, that I will probably die completely alone.”
Ah, she had thought that she had understood his words then. How wrong she was. It was only now, now that she had loved and lost – for it was foolish to even attempt to deny it to herself – that she could comprehend what he had meant.
But his words had been lies, and the emotions flooding through her were naught but truth.
“I was indeed most concerned,” continued Lady Kathryn, who did not seem to have noticed the low spirits of her ward. “I…barely slept a wink, actually. How could I have ever told your dear mother that I had lost you? That you had gone missing under my care? If my own daughter – but then, under the care of a baronet, who was I to complain? I said to Reb
ecca…”
Chloe let the woman’s words – kindly meant, and demonstrating real compassion – wash over her. All of her thoughts were consumed with Moses. How different he had been when it had just been the two of them? He had been bold, and brave, and rude at times. He had baulked at civilities and yet been kindness itself.
When they had made love, he had been full of joy, and there had been a desperation in his eyes to connect with her, to care for her, to love her almost. How could she have misunderstood that?
She smiled, despite herself, at the way he had tried to instruct Baxter to force her from the house when they had first met. He had seemed like an injured dog; biting the hand of anyone who came near it in the pain and agony of it all. But she had tamed him – or she had thought she had tamed him.
The sister of the Count of Stratham swam into her mind’s eye, and Chloe felt sick. She was, indeed, a beautiful woman. It was not difficult to see why Moses would be interested in her: beauty and the sister to a Count, it was hardly a difficult match.
And then the memory of his face when the Count had introduced his sister as Moses’ fiancée surfaced in her mind. He had looked shocked, that was certain: but, Chloe reminded herself fiercely, that was because he did not want to be found out. He had lied, and he had been revealed to be a liar.
Her heart hesitated. He had wanted to speak to her – to say something, to perhaps explain? Should she have stayed longer, maybe listened to the explanation that he was so desirous to give?
But then it hardened as the carriage entered the long driveway of The Beeches. What could he say? What possible explanation could there be? And after all, and now Chloe felt nauseous again, he betrayed her even less than he betrayed Lady Olivia, for she was his fiancée, and he had seduced another woman.
Her. He had seduced her, and she had let him, and for a few hours it had been magical, like nothing she could ever have imagined it could be between two people …
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