“Because I can't do that to you and then not want more.”
“I know.”
She said it so simply that he had to do a double-take. “You know?”
He watched her stand up. Every bit of her was bare to him then, and breathing was once again becoming a complication. He didn't know what to say, but apparently, he didn't have to. It was all her decision, and she had finally made it.
“I'm ready, Trevor. Are you?”
Chapter Fourteen
“You can’t joke with me about that, Jessica. I am honestly on edge about it all.”
“I am not joking, Trevor. I want you, and I have been trying to get up the nerve to tell you so. If you don’t want me, though…”
He was on her quickly, and it made her smile. Jessica was only smiling for a moment, though, before his lips were hard on hers and his body was pressed just as tightly against her.
Trevor’s lips were even more insistent than before, and he was taking her breath away. His hands were all over her, and she could feel his fingers sliding in between her legs. There was nothing to stop his ascent, so she was left open to all of his touches and his demands. It was enough to drive her crazy.
She pushed back and found herself breathing hard.
“I can’t stop, Jessica. Please don’t tell me that you want me to stop.”
She giggled, and even though she could see how turned on he was, how much he needed her, she was still able to find humor in it. She’d always imagined her first time, but never been like it was then.
“I don’t want you to stop; it’s just really fast. Can’t we go a bit slower?”
He growled at her in response. “I can’t go any slower, Jessica. Damn, woman, I wish you knew what you did to me.”
She smiled at him and kissed him softly on his lips. “I want you to show me, slowly.”
He chuckled. Trevor was looking pained, and when she touched the front of his pants, he made a strangled sound that worried her. “Are you okay?”
Trevor was breathing hard, and she touched him again, loving how hard he felt. “Why don’t you take your clothes off and show me what they cover?”
He hadn’t taken his clothes off the last time that they were together. Jessica felt that even though it was amazing and she felt better than she ever had before, there was still something missing. She wanted to see all of him.
For a minute, Jessica thought he was going to balk at the request.
“I don’t want to scare you.”
That made her pause. What was it about his body that was going to scare her?
“I have seen scars before. I don’t mind.”
Another chuckle and he took his shirt off. Her eyes widened. Why had she thought that the problem was his scars? It was him. His muscles and the way he looked without his clothes on. That was just his chest, and Jessica was starting to understand what he was talking about.
“Oh.”
Trevor grinned and moved back over her. He had this devilish look in his eyes, and it made her heart lurch up into her chest. It was all she could do to keep herself together. His lips were back on hers, and his body was pressing down. Her own was disappearing into the mattress underneath her. Jessica was starting to realize that he was going to make her lose her mind. Maybe that was the idea.
His hips were insistent, rolling against her, rubbing her most sensitive area. Jessica was trying her best to keep the sound in, but the pressure on her, the hardness pressing in, was more than she could handle. She was moaning and whimpering, begging him to do it already.
“Is that really what you want, for me to do it already?”
She nodded her head that it was.
“I want the first time to be special. I want you to always remember this time between the two of us.”
“I hardly doubt I will ever forget this, Trevor.”
He stood up abruptly, and Jessica watched with anticipation as the rest of his clothes came off. Her eyes took him all in, every hard inch, and her body trembled as he came back towards her. Trevor had purpose in his eyes, and she had doubt. The part of him that took up most of her attention was ready for her and it looked intimidating.
“Not changing your mind, are you?”
“What if I say yes?”
Worry shot over his expression, and it was enough to make her giggle. It eased the tension that was in the room, and they seemed to both relax.
“Please don’t.”
“Then no more waiting…”
He was over her, on her, and pressing up against the parts that ached for his touch. It was sudden, and she braced for the rest of it. She wasn’t so naïve that she didn’t know what was supposed to happen. Jessica thought that she was prepared, but in the end, she wasn’t ready for it at all.
It was made clear when he started to press in slowly. It was excruciatingly slow and filled her with a stretching sensation that was hard to ignore. As much as she wanted to hold it together, she couldn’t. Her breath was coming out in gasps, and she kept holding her breath, waiting for something.
When he paused, she looked up, and he kissed her. The lips, those sensual, soft lips that assured her that everything was okay, turned out to be exactly what she needed the whole time. It made her stop worrying about what was going to happen next and gave her the ability to just enjoy the situation that she was in. It was one of the greatest feelings of her life, and Jessica would never forget it.
Once he was fully inside of her, he moved slowly, winding her up. Jessica clung to his thick neck, pressing her breasts against his bare chest and loving the way it felt. It was more than she could imagine, and for all of her bravado, it didn’t last very long. The tempo increased, and Jessica was hanging on for dear life, experiencing the first in a long line of pleasures.
Only when she begged for a break was one allowed. They laid in each other’s arms for a time, calming down from the storm they had created. Jessica never knew that it could be like that. She just didn’t know.
Chapter Fifteen
Trevor woke up the next morning alone, and for a moment, he worried that it was just a very good dream that he’d had. Then he heard someone at the door, knocking moments before they burst in. The sound of little feet told him exactly who it was. He groaned and shook himself awake. Of course, it was a dream. It was far too perfect to be anything else.
“Good morning, Emily. How did you sleep?”
“I slept really good, Daddy. I was just coming to get you.”
“Are you ready for breakfast? Is that why I am being summoned?”
Emily shook her head to the contrary. “No, breakfast is already made. Jessica made it, and it looks really good. She told me to come get you. I was worried about you when you slept in so late. That’s not like you, Daddy.”
“Why were you worried about me? You know that everything is okay. See, I’ve been here the whole time.”
“Because it's almost lunchtime and you never sleep this late. Ever.”
His eyes flew open, and he looked at the clock next to him. It wasn't that he didn't believe her. He just couldn't understand how that could be possible. He hadn't slept in late like that in years.
“Are you sure that's the real time?”
She agreed. “Yes, I have been up for quite a while. I went to find Jessica first because I figured she would be up, and she was.”
The only option he really had was to go downstairs and have breakfast with Jessica. The whole time, he would be trying to figure out if the night before was real or not.
As soon as he saw her and she got this weird expression on her face, he knew that they had been together. It was deference, submission; it made him want her more than he ever had before. One look told him exactly what he had hoped for. He had possessed her body last night, and she was just as affected by it as he was. Why did that make him feel so much better about it?
He had to stop himself from walking up to where she stood and giving her a kiss.
“Good morning, Jessica.”
She had a big smile on her face, which Trevor was completely sure matched the one on his face. How could he look any different when he was so sure that he had found the one for him?
Emily looked between them and asked why they were looking at each other so funny. Immediately, he pulled his attention back to his daughter and said that he didn't know what she was talking about.
“You are looking at her like you used to look at Mommy.”
Quite frankly, that gutted Trevor. It was so unexpected, and maybe it was too true for his comfort. He didn't want to think that he was replacing his dead wife with someone new, but the little girl's observation made him wonder. He also noted the way that Jessica responded to it. She obviously did not want to hear it either.
“Honey, I could never look at anyone the way I looked at your mother.”
“But you like Jessica, right?”
It wasn't really an accusation, but more of an observation, and it was one that he couldn't argue with. He did like Jessica, and considering that he already wanted to ask her to be his mate, it seemed better to get her warmed up to the idea of it as quickly as possible.
“Yes, I do like Jessica. I like her quite a bit.”
“Well, that's good.”
The quiet declaration gave Trevor hope that something could truly come of their magical night together. He knew that if he ever was going to be mated again, it had to be someone that his daughter approved of. She was the most important person in his life.
“Now that we have that all straightened out, let's have some pancakes. They really look good.”
Emily was the first to go back to eating breakfast like nothing had happened. Trevor was very interested in how Jessica was feeling about it all, but he couldn't really get a read on her. She was quiet through breakfast, and only when they were washing the dishes a while later was he able to ask her what was going on in that brain of hers.
“What do you mean?”
“I don't know, you've just been quiet since breakfast.”
“It’s just a lot. A lot has changed in one day.”
It was the way she said it that worried him. He did not like the tone she was using.
Are you regretting it?
She shook her head. “Not at all. I just, I don't know, none of this is what I expected, you know?”
He agreed because it came out of left field for him as well, but one thing he did know was he didn't want any of it to change. Trevor had waited thirty-six years of his life to find someone that made him feel anything. When he had found Emily's mother, he thought he would never be happier than he was at that moment. Then she died, and everything went topsy-turvy for Trevor.
His life was in limbo because he didn't know how to move forward. He did not even know if he wanted to move forward because what was really the point? Trevor had become a shadow of the man that he had once been. The idea that all of that could be over, after all that time alone, was a lot to take on for him as well.
“I do know. You came out of the blue less than a week ago and you have completely changed my outlook on everything. I never thought I would feel this way again.”
He worried that he was showing too much, too soon. It had only been a couple of days and they had only been intimate once, but if that was the case, why did he feel so sure love was what going to happen in the end?
“I am glad it was you…I didn’t expect to feel this way, to give you that part of me…”
“But you do feel that way?”
As much as Trevor wanted to be all cool, calm, and collected about it, there was just no way for him to really be. He was waiting on the answer that was probably one of the most important he was ever going to hear. What if he felt everything and she felt nothing?
“I feel something for you, Trevor. I wouldn’t have had sex with you if I didn’t. I just do not know what that's supposed to mean, though. There is a lot going on right now, a lot that I won't be able to do much about. I am pretty much stuck here waiting to find out what is going to happen to me. I do not know if it's the right time to be focusing on us.”
“I know you are right, Jessica, but that still doesn't change the fact that I can't help focusing on us. After being with you, I never want to let you go.”
She nodded her head in agreement but did not answer. It certainly did not convince Trevor that everything was going to be okay. Jessica was acting like she was not sure if she wanted to be in the situation she was in. Did that include him as well?
Trevor was losing his shit because life was turning out so differently than he had pictured it. How had things changed so drastically?
One minute, he thought that everything was fine, and he was finally going to get what he really needed in his life. The next minute, the one thing that he wanted in his life was not sure, and he was back in the world of not knowing.
It all rested on Jessica. That was a hard thing to swallow.
Chapter Sixteen
Jessica knew that it was going to take some time to fix everything that was going wrong in her life. She liked to believe that now that she and Trevor were together, everything would just immediately improve. She knew better than that, though.
Instead of trying to explain herself to Trevor, she found herself wanting to get a few moments of quiet by herself. He was a lot to take in. It's not like he was forcing her in any way, but he did have certain control over her body that she didn't understand. She was drawn to him like no other person she’d ever been around before. That had to mean something. The problem was she had no idea what it was supposed to mean. What did her future have in store for her now?
About the time she was asking herself that question, she heard something behind her, and she turned around quickly to see a dark-haired man with beady black eyes looking back at her. He wasn’t human, and he was not there to do anything that was good. The vibe that she got off of him was evil, and she was already trying to retreat.
“You are Jessica, aren't you?”
“Who are you?”
“I am the one that is going to take you. We own you, and we did not get paid. That means we are going to get our money another way.”
The talk of money made Jessica immediately realize who he was, or at least who he worked for. He must be with the people that were working with William, the Syndicate. They were just as scary as she could have ever imagined them to be, especially if the guy in front of her was any indication.
“No, I am not going anywhere with you. Nobody owns me!”
“You will go with me, Jessica. I have wasted a lot of time and energy trying to find you. I still don't know where Molly is, but it won’t be much longer. I have my best operative on it.”
Jessica hoped that the man was lying. She did not want to think of Molly in danger. They were in the same crappy situation together. Both of them were where they didn't want to be. Both of them were being chased by the Syndicate because of something that they had nothing to do with.
“I need to get back. They are not going to just forget about me.”
“No, I guess they won't. You are just going to put even more people's lives in danger. You've already cost your family their lives; isn't that enough for a while?”
“I can't just disappear. They will come looking for me.”
“Not if you tell him that you're leaving and never coming back.”
“Why would I do such a thing? Why would I go with somebody like you? I don’t want to be anywhere near you. I know who you are, who you work for. I know what kind of people you are.”
“Because you don't want anything else to happen to the people you love. If I am reading you right, you're in love with their Alpha. How do you think he's going to feel when his clan is dead because of you? Will he still look at and love you the same? I doubt it. You will ruin him, and he will hate you for it.”
Jessica didn't even want to think about it. Trevor and Jessica were at the beginning of their romance, but she knew something very clear about Trevor. He was a protec
tor, and he would do so at all costs. Maybe those costs were not too much for him, but they were way too much for her. She already felt guilty about the death of her family and couldn't even fathom having to deal with even more death on her hands. There was enough blood there; she didn't want anymore.
“You have to give me some time.”
“I don't have time. You come with me now or I drag you away kicking and screaming. Either way, you're going to go with me. You might as well pick one of those scenarios, that leaves you a little bit of dignity.
“If you want Trevor not to chase me, then I have to at least write him a letter. Tell him something. I can't just take off. You know that they will just keep looking for me.”
“Yes, I am very aware of how Dylan and Jamie are plotting to find us. They never will. Just like Trevor will never find you. Write your letter and make sure it's a good one. Say your goodbyes without saying them and meet me back here at ten o'clock tonight. I will not wait any longer. If I have to, I will burn you out.”
She shivered at the image that came to her mind. Jessica could still see her family home in her mind’s eye. She wasn't going to let that happen to anybody else, not for her sake. She loved Trevor, and she didn't want to see him hurt. If that meant sacrificing herself in some small way, what else could she do?
Jessica thought long and hard about what she was going to put in the letter. The first man she’d ever been with, and she was pretty sure he was in love with her. She was in love with him too, even though there had only been such a short time between them. She had felt safe with him when the whole world felt like it was crumbling down around her.
Trevor had fixed all that for her, and she wanted to return the favor, even if he didn’t know what she was doing. It was the only way she could make up for what he had done for her. He had awakened her. There was no other way other way to describe it.
She also didn't want him to come looking for her. It wasn't like Jessica didn't believe that he could save her. She did. But at what cost? Trevor was a loyal man, and for some unknown reason, his loyalty had been given to her. She did not want to take that away.
Alpha Shifter Bride Service: (A Paranormal Romance Series) Page 37