Love, Life and Naughty Bits

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Love, Life and Naughty Bits Page 4

by Tania Cooper


  As we get closer he notices us and that sly, slightly creepy smile appears across his face, again, like it does every time he sees us. We smiled back the first week to be polite, then we smiled back the second week in case it was someone we might have met who is associated with one of our clients and we didn’t want to seem rude. By the third week we pretended to ignore him as alarm bells started going off inside our head. But we still can’t be overly rude just in case he is here because he is a potential client.

  As we walk past him and head into our building, we hear him say “Good morning” but thank God we’re already walking through the doors and can ignore him politely. My girl gets an uneasy feeling rush through her and so do I. We need to be careful, I’m just not sure why.

  When we reach our floor, Alecia tells us that Mr. Black wants to see us in his office. It’s a little earlier than most mornings. Usually he lets us all get in and enjoy our coffees from the awesome hi tech coffee machine my girl talked him into purchasing while we check all of our correspondence before he starts checking in with us all. My girl asks Alecia if he’s had his coffee yet, thinking that if he hadn’t she would make it for him before she goes in. Yep, my girl is always thinking of others. The receptionist tells her he was in early this morning and already had his coffee, so we walk straight down to the boss’s office.

  His door is open so we just walk in as per his constant request when his door is open. My girl anxiously stops after a few steps. “Okay. Why do you have a smile that looks like a cat that just ate the mouse? Please explain why that makes me nervous, Andre.”

  Right from the start, as soon as he could see her potential, he insisted she call him by his first name. Most of his employees get the privilege eventually.

  “I have some exciting news to share with you.”

  Ooo, let’s hear it. My girl sits in the chair opposite him but only relaxes slightly as she eyes her boss warily.

  “As you know, I have been working on a deal with Woody from 100 Design. You may think it’s a deal that would involve me working on the project for them, but …”

  Oh no. My girl instantly tenses up, knowing exactly what Andre is going to say.

  “What have you done, Andre? I’ve told you before, I’m happy swimming amongst the little fish. I’ve no desire to swim in the ocean with the big fish.”

  She also knows that what the boss has proposed will have her working in the same building as him, Mr. Uptight. Damn that has made my girl lock up with stress something shocking. As much as I’d love to work within close proximity to him and his junk, I know how uncomfortable that would make my girl. And I don’t want that. She loves her work, so to have her dreading coming here every weekday would be rather miserable.

  “Okay, hear me out. You’re bloody brilliant at your job, I’ve been telling you this for years. I know you’re not running after the big time, but girly, it could do with a woman like you in it. This project is not only perfect for you and your talents, but it’d also be prestigious for our company to be associated with it. You won’t be one of their employees, you’ll be one of ours contracted out to them so our company’s name will be associated with the campaign. It’s a win, win for us all.”

  My girl knows he’s right.

  “Low blow Andre, using the fact that our company’s name will be riding on this deal. See, too much stress already. And how will this play out? Do I get to work from here, or do I have to move two floors up for the duration of the campaign? By the way, what campaign is it?”

  At least she is entertaining the idea. I mean really, we can put up with bumping into that cold dick more often for a few weeks. Well, I would prefer his dick to be warm or more so, hot, but hey, some of us can’t afford to be fussy about these things. At least I could get drunk off his scent more often than I have had the luxury to do before. And damn, his smell is a good kind of liquor to get plastered on. As long as his junk doesn’t start mouthing off any more, because I will not hold my tongue if he does, well, more to the point, my lips. Ooo what I wouldn’t do for a tongue. Now that would be fun.

  “All that’ll be explained when you meet the head ad exec. Woody will introduce you two later today. Then I guess you can both work out the logistics of it together. Even though you’ll officially be the junior on this campaign, you’ll work as an equal with whomever he’s going to have head up the campaign. So remember, don’t back down on your ideas. I count on you not to. It’s one of the reasons Woody is so keen to have you on board with this project. He’s been trying to secretly poach you from me forever. Show him what you got, Lex.”

  She knows she can’t say no now. I’m excited for something different, so I try to bubble those feelings up to my girl, but so far, she’s paying no attention. While they go through the finer details, my girl stops thinking about Mr. Uptight and is finally beginning to get a little excited about this new adventure. It’ll be good for her to step out of her comfort zone for a while. Hell knows she needs something to shake her out of the funk we were falling into.

  We walk down to our office, not knowing what to expect or where we’ll be working, so we pack our briefcase with everything we may need to save coming back. Always better to be prepared than look like a fumbling fool in front of a new boss.

  Her nerves skyrocket when the elevator doors open up to reveal the entrance to 100 Design. It’s a much larger company which takes up two whole floors compared to our meagre half a floor. There are people buzzing around everywhere. So many staff. I wonder if they all know each other’s names like we do. My girl begins to have hope that with it being this busy, she may never bump into Mr. Uptight. But the reality is that we know through seeing Andre talk with Mr. Uptight in the lobby along with his mate and boss of this company, Mr. Woody Hardwick, that it’s likely that Mr. Uptight is one of this firm’s top ad execs, so there’s a real possibility that he could be heading up this campaign. Oh God, let’s hope he’s not.

  My girl introduces herself to the pretty little blonde receptionist who informs us she has been waiting for our arrival and we can proceed straight down to Mr. Hardwick’s office where his personal assistant will announce our arrival. Seriously, why couldn’t she just do that? What a waste of staff. If I had a mouth I would so whip this company into shape. But I guess they’re not doing too badly, by the looks of this fancy place, so I’ll just bite my lips.

  Our arrival is announced and we are introduced to Mr. Hardwick, CEO of 100 Design and best mate to our boss Andre. He looks a lot more formal and commanding than our boss, but once he starts talking and getting to know my girl, we can see his friendly nature start to show. He’s excited to have her in his grasp, his words, not ours, and informs her of the basics of the campaign while telling her that he has his number one heading up this project.

  Then, before we know it, we’re walking past an office, then a massive boardroom twice the size of ours, past two more offices, before he’s knocking on a door. I can feel her pulse start to quicken and I know why. I can smell him nearby. Yep, that damn sexy as fuck aftershave is nearby alright. I can hear my girl chanting inside her head, Don’t let it be him, don’t let it be him, don’t let it be him. Then the door opens and …

  Fuck! It’s Mr. Uptight himself, looking just as shocked and displeased as we are.

  “Lane, I would like to introduce you to your newest co-worker, Alexis Ryan. Alexis, meet our brightest star, Lane Anderson. Oh, do you prefer to be called Alexis or Lex? I have heard Andre refer to you as both.”

  We’ve lost our tongue. Emergency, emergency, we have seriously lost our freaking tongue! Maybe we swallowed it the minute we laid eyes on Mr. Uptight freaking Anderson and our brain was too busy short circuiting to realise our tongue is down our throat! Girly, snap out of it!

  “Either name is fine, but I usually use Lex at work. Nice to meet you, Mr. Anderson.”

  Thank God our brain cells snapped out of their utter shock and saved my girl from looking like a fool. As much as this is her worst nightmare, working so
closely to this attractive yet cold man, determination washes all through her as she straightens her spine and places on her best poker face. This is our chance, our chance to show him how cold and fierce we can also be. We will prove to him we’re his equal in the business world and someone he couldn’t possibly ignore. All he’s got is a handshake and a nod? Seriously?

  I’m surprised his junk is quiet in this awkward situation. Maybe he’s been gagged. Ha, ha, that would be an amusing sight. Nope, no response? Okay then, I’ll ignore you like all the other pedigree pussy that walks right past you. Still nothing? Damn, this is going to be boring.

  I can hear a plan formulate in my girl’s head and I’m so damn proud of her right at this moment. She is in business mode and is about to show him who’s boss! Yep, we’re roaring, so watch out Lane. Ooo, I really like the sound of his name flowing from my lips.

  “I’ll leave you two to sort out the finer details. Lex, please let me know if you need anything or if this guy becomes too difficult to handle. Lane, remember your manners in front of the lady, a lady who is damn good at her job. Play nicely, children.”

  We really like Mr. Hardwick already. Now down to our roaring!

  “Andre and Mr. Hardwick have filled me in on the gist of the campaign, but what I need from you is a full analysis, if you have one already, on the direction the client wants us to take. Then I would like to go over the ideas that are already forming in my head. I think if we can get the client to think outside the box on this project, they’ll see it’ll be more beneficial for their business.”

  Yeah! Take that you mother! Roar, roar, roar! We’re not some piece of pretty arm candy, and if you’d taken the time to be nice to us when passing in the lobby, you’d already know that. Be prepared to be our bitch on this project, Mr. Uptight. Seriously, junk? Still not biting? If that’s how you want to play it, so be it.

  “Of course I already have a full analysis and I know exactly what the client wants. They’re very traditional, so once you get to know their needs, you will see that ‘thinking outside the box’ won’t work for them. Take a seat and we’ll go over exactly what the client is asking for.”

  “How would the client possibly know they don’t want to ‘think outside the box’ if we don’t show them the possibilities? Isn’t that our job, to show them what would benefit their campaign the most? If their ‘traditional’ ways were working so well for them, they wouldn’t have sorted out the services of the best advertising company in the country. I think they need a change if they want to claim the number one spot in the market.”

  His only response is a grunt. We got this, girl. He’ll see you for who you truly are, then he won’t be able to resist your natural charms. Then … then … I’m not sure I’d even want to be with a man who’s treated us so coldly. Well at least when he gets to know my girl and see how friendly and caring she is, he’ll realise what he let slip by.

  After a few tense hours of going over the entire campaign and arguing, quite heatedly at times, over the best direction with which to start, it’s lunch time and my girl seriously needs a break from all his intensity. She goes to get up and leave but Mr. Uptight stops her with a hand around her elbow. No, no, no, I will not pay any attention to the zap of electricity that just shot through our arm and travelled all the way down to my core. Nope, no attention being paid here to the electricity bouncing off my internal walls. Trying not to clench, trying not to clench. Back off wetness!

  “We’ve a busy day ahead so I ordered lunch. It’ll be delivered here shortly. And I think it’d also be best if you moved into the spare office just down from mine so you don’t waste anytime going back and forth to your floor.”

  Who the fuck does he think he is, bossing us around? Yes, we’re technically working on his company’s project, but we will not take orders from Mr. Uptight, no we won’t, not even if those orders were in the bedroom, no, no we would not. Mind out of the gutter and back into the office.

  “I’ve my own lunch already back in ‘my’ office, and I’m a quick walker and I also pee fast, if you must know. So I’ll not ‘waste’ anytime in getting back in here. And as for the ‘offer’ of an office up here, no thank you, my office will be just fine and I’ll only be a phone call or an email away if you need to see me in person. I can even run up the stairs if something is that urgent.”

  And with the sarcasm dripping on the floor, my girl walks out of his office. Girl power! Fist bump me, girlfriend! Well, not literally cause that would be too freaky thanks. As much as she held herself together in front of Mr. Uptight, my girl’s not liking the tension. Tension doesn’t sit well with us and it’s mainly because my girl takes everything to heart. Thick skin is something she does not have. And this project could take six to eight weeks to complete! Damn, this is going to be stressful. It’s worrying, as sometimes she doesn’t choose the best ways to release the stress; do you have any idea what it tastes like when vodka comes out? Well, it isn’t yummy; let’s just leave it at that!

  The day actually flies by and before we know it, there’s only an hour left before we can hightail it out of this igloo. As much as he’s still continuing with his cold shoulder routine, which he doesn’t seem to show when any of the other staff comes in and out of his office, my girl and I are quite impressed with his work ethic and how talented he is at his job. It’s plain to see why he is Mr. Hardwick’s number one. God, for all we know, he could be the number one in the country, but we are sooooo not Googling that in the quiet of our apartment tonight, after a few glasses of wine and maybe some vodka shots thrown in if our thoughts turn to his sexy as fuck aftershave and the yummy scent of his junk. No. No. Not happening!

  When Mr. Uptight takes a rare toilet break (well trained junk), we take that chance to text our girls.

  CODE RED. Bar 31 tonight!

  After such an awkward and tension filled, but also somehow very productive day, we need to see our girls. How the hell are we going to continue to work with Mr. Uptight for the entirety of this project? We need a plan, and by the way my girl is angry and hurt at the same time, we need as much help with our plan as possible.

  I would say I don’t know why he has such a hold over us, but I do know. It’s his beautiful whisky eyes. They’ve so much kindness in them when he smiles; they just don’t shine it our way. And despite him openly being a flirt, we’ve never seen in it anything remotely close to sleazy. He’s also such a gentleman, always opening doors for the fairer sex, except us. He’s as hot as hell and smells better than chocolate and that’s a hard act to beat. He seems like the total package, someone we could actually want in our lives, someone who we see as our perfect Mr. Long Term Guy, but he just doesn’t see my girl. Not for the wonderful person she is, no, he just doesn’t see her at all. Sometimes it seems deliberate, but we’ve no idea why.

  When he gets back they begin to wrap up their day and make plans for what each of them needs to research this week. My girl’s excited about this project despite its rocky start and is determined to do herself and her real boss proud with what she knows she can achieve for the client and within herself. She just needs to continue to hold her ground with Mr. Uptight. Which is going to be hard to do considering, as she was packing her briefcase up for the day, he just grabbed his and mumbled a sullen “See you tomorrow” and walked out the door, not even waiting to hold the door open for her to leave his office first, which would’ve been the polite thing to do. Damn, this is going to be hard.

  Let’s not think about that now. Let’s concentrate on what’s important at this very moment. Get to Bar 31, get to Bar 31, sauv blanc, sauv blanc. We’re so focused on that mantra that we barely notice the creeper, who’s been loitering out the front of our building each morning, following us down Southbank along the riverfront. I don’t like the feelings he’s giving my girl. Maybe it’s not a coincidence, maybe he’s actually following us. Damn! That’s all we need. Just before we get to the bar we turn slightly but can’t find him, thank God.

  As we walk i
nto Bar 31 just after six, we see our girls already sitting at a booth towards the back with concerned looks on their beautiful faces. We can always count on our girls when we need them the most.

  “Okay, spill. Why the code red? Are you okay?” Zali’s voice is panicked.

  “I’m okay, but I don’t know if I will be after six to eight weeks.”

  “What the fuck is going on?” Poor Mel, she is just as worried.

  “I was asked to go into Andre’s office as soon as I got to work today. The project he has been trying to set up with 100 Design, which I thought was for himself, was actually being set up for me to help headline.”

  “Oh my God! That’s awesome, Lexi. But why’s there no awesome look on your face? You know you’re going to show them how freaking brilliant you are.” Zali has always thought we could conquer the world.

  “Because, when I was introduced to the ad exec who is the senior on the campaign, it turned out to be …”

  “No.” Zali knows exactly who my girl is talking about.

  “No freaking way.” Yes freaking way, Mel.

  “Oh yes and yes freaking way, Mr. Uptight himself a.k.a Mr. Lane Anderson. He’s every bit as cold and uptight in person as he is from a distance. Today was horrible. He’s a freaking arsehole, demanding and condescending, but still damn good at his job and he smells even better in an enclosed space. And this project is big, I mean really big and long and important for both our companies. How the hell can I survive this? You all know the effect this man has on me. This is a disaster!”

  “No sweetie, this is perfect. This is an opportunity; to not only prove yourself beyond your comfort zone, which we all know when it comes to work you’re snug as a bug in your comfort zone, and to prove to this man that you can be his equal in the advertising world. It’s also an opportunity to show him who you really are. And that you’re the sweetest person we all know and not someone who deserves a blast of ice every time you end up on his radar. You don’t need to prove that to try and hook him in, you need to prove that to make yourself feel better about the way he’s treated you. Fuck what he chooses to do with that information when he sees the real you. He’s already lost you before he even had a chance to have you.”

 

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