by Tania Cooper
I’m just thankful beyond belief that in the closing seconds of your work day you actually felt something akin to shame for the way you’d been acting and charged out of that building faster than a coke-fuelled Batman. The feeling in your chest and the pounding of your heart when you heard our girl scream was something that I honestly have two feelings on. One, that it is proof, solid and quantifiable proof, that you are head over heels in love with our girl and two, that you hold far more value in not only hers but also many other people’s feelings, especially when it comes to how you feel about them. I truly pray though, that nothing ever causes our girl to scream like that again, or you to feel like you were. I think this could be a true turning point for the both of you.
Sitting here, staring at her as she slips into a fitful sleep curled into our chair, sure is making my balls ache. Why don’t we put her to bed and take a walk, just leave the door open a bit. Feeling as she does, I don’t think she should be left alone for too long.
“Lexi is sleeping deep, Eight, you two can go out for a while if you really think he wants to, if … you want to.”
“Baby, I never want to leave you again, never, for as long as I’m alive and pulsing with the rampant energy of life will I ever leave you.”
Well Lane, what are we doing, are you heading out for a walk or are we going to move Lexi to the bedroom and make sure she isn’t alone when she wakes up?
“Lexi, it’s me, I’m just going to carry you to the bedroom okay, come on, put your arms around my neck and hold on.”
She smells like sunshine and warm summer mornings. How could you have ever been angry enough to ignore anyone who smells and looks like she does? Besides, she is filled with a love and kindness so boundless that no one in this lifetime could ever be assured of finding another person such as her. To drive her away like you did, well, you’re either so darkly masochistic that you enjoy the pain and torture that comes with it, or you really are that damaged that you find your own self-loathing and fear preferable to actually embracing the love that was being offered by the slumbering woman in your arms.
“I’m sorry Lexi, I was a fool to act the way I did. I never meant to hurt you or to be so negligent with your feelings and your heart. I’ve just, well, I’ve had a hard time opening up to everything that’s happened in my life.”
I think she is still too out of it to even hear those words and the meaning behind them. Set her down in the bed; if you truly want some kudos from her, slip her shoes off and leave it at that, do not, for the love of God unbutton her shirt or undo her bra. Booker did that once with a girl who passed out at a house party he threw and she went ballistic at him when she came too. Bad memories that night is.
“Eight?”
“Yeah baby?”
“Don’t leave me alone, stay here with me.”
“I promise baby, I promise.”
Lane, pull in one of the light rattan chairs from the deck, I don’t think Lexi or Hot Lips should wake up alone. I would throw in some macho phrase like, “I want to be here to protect my woman from anything that threatens her,” but we failed that task in epic fashion when you went all moody bastard and sent her running out the door of our office in an anger-filled huff.
You have a lot to answer for, Lane and I pray you’re going to be the man our girls deserve. I would step up but, well, I’m attached to you and kind of just a penis. Right, so grab a damned chair and get comfortable. With God as my witness you are going to prove to our girls that you deserve them, and if you are asleep when she wakes up, mate, you are not going to get a fucking boner for a damned year.
“Lane! Lane, where are you?”
“Hey, hey, shush now, I’m here, you’re safe. As long as I’m here, nothing and I mean nothing will ever hurt you.”
Careful mate, she’s still half-asleep and still shaken from what happened only a few hours ago. I doubt she’ll say no to a comforting cuddle though, just be careful with the hands, after that fucker grabbing her like he did, well, you never can be too careful.
Damn that scent of hers, how does one person smell that good? She is so soft and warm, fits us both like she was made to be in our arms and she’s melted that ice right out of you. I cannot believe you let yourself doubt that and acted out against her. Oh damn, she’s crying again. That’s it, pull her closer, let her snuggle in tight. She needs your arms tonight.
“Baby, you okay?”
“No Eight, I was so damned scared; scared we’d never get to be together, scared I’d never get to say … get to say …”
“Get to say what?”
“That … I love you.”
“I know you do, I love you too baby, I love you with everything I am.”
“But you’re just a penis.”
“And being this guy’s penis ain’t easy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you more than life.”
“I know babes, just trying to lighten the mood.”
“I know, beautiful, I know. How’s our girl?”
“She’s still shaken, very shaken; but she’ll be okay, it’s mostly shock. As long as we stand tough and Lane stands with her and us, our girl will pull through it all.”
“Lexi, baby, why don’t you try and get some more sleep, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
Damn it, I feel she’s too scared and in too deep of shock to even reply properly. Best to just make her comfortable, bro, and see how she feels in the morning.
“Baby, I’m going to leave you some of my sweats and a tee to change into in the morning okay? I’ll be right here all night. Sleep, beautiful.”
Okay, careful now bro, you don’t want to wake her up completely, it would be better if you could nap in the chair next to her. Just be bloody careful when you’re, um, ‘extricating’ yourself from our girl’s grip. Damn it she’s stirring; be careful you freaking klutz or you’ll wake up sleeping beauty and damn … is she a beauty.
“No, no, Lane no, don’t leave me.”
“Hey, hush now, I told you, I’m not going anywhere; I’m just fetching you some of my clothes for the morning, then I will be right back, okay.”
“Okay.”
God, seeing her like that is making my heart clench, well actually it’s your heart but you get the idea. Curled up in the foetal position right in the middle of the bed, she just, well, she looks lost. Like a kid lost on the beach, just so small and fragile; scared beyond recognition of any form of comfort, except of course, for you. For some reason, you great oaf, she feels safe when you’re holding her, so I don’t think that you sitting in a chair all night is going to cut it.
Just do yourself and me a favour, change while you’re picking some gear for our girl. Sleeping in a shirt and trousers is um, well, just get changed, or you’ll find out quickly why sleeping in suit trousers is not the way to go. Yep, that’s more comfortable.
“Hey Lexi, I’m back.”
That’s it mate, slow and tender, show her you’re a positive presence. A person in her state doesn’t need sudden surprises. Oh, uh, okay, that’s not a move I personally would have done, but yeah, brushing the hair out of her face and kissing her forehead seems to have made her a little more settled. Nice one. Well I guess now it’s just time to get comfortable again and see if she responds in a positive way to you settling in next to her on the bed.
Ooh ouch, shit, careful how you move around here, I just head butted my own ball bag. Okay, now shuffle around and see if she wants to be held the same way as earlier, which, yup thought she might. Okay, slouch down, let her use you as a pillow, just make sure you can sleep like this bro, don’t want you suffocating on me, I don’t think a dick can be reincarnated.
Ugh, I hate waking up in these, I always feel like I’m coated in extra thick lube and not in a good, I’m going to a nice tight warm place way, but the, ugh you should shower more, it’s going to cause a fungus. There is a reason they call these ‘sweat pants.’ I’m so damned sticky I’m stuck
to my own balls and Lane’s thigh. Speaking of which, are you awake yet, bro? Nope, you’re still in the land of nod. What about our girl? Nope, she’s still deep in dreamland. How about my girl?
“Hot Lips, you awake yet, baby?”
“Mmm, morning handsome. Sleep well?”
“Somewhat. How’s our girl feeling?”
“Let me check those brain waves. Oh she’s a lot better, still not right, but the panic is gone and she’s dreaming of, well, if I told you, you’d pitch a tent faster than the circus in holiday season, and if I stay watching these for too much longer, Lane will have a very big wet patch on his mattress.”
“Well, uh, yeah, okay, wet patch not so good, but the thought of you all sexy and wet, damn I’m fighting a woody here.”
“Naughty boy. Play your cards right and I might just get Lexi to show you just how warm and wet I can be. But … maybe not so soon after … well, yeah.”
“Oh come on! That is just cruel. How am I supposed to get Lane to deal with me when he is curled up against our girl? It’s not exactly going to benefit our cause if she wakes up to find his morning wood.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry, but after having spent so long cooped up in that office and being within a couple of feet of the man I love and now to be only inches apart and separated by a few millimetres of cloth and an arsehole of a circumstance, well, I just had to be cheeky. Sorry baby.”
“Don’t worry about it, babe, I’m used to dealing with bits like this. Lane has, uh, a very active libido. My skills at falling limp at a moment’s notice for work reasons should be worth logging with the Guinness Book of World Records. Well, if there was a case for world’s fastest boner loss. Oh, looks like the children are waking up, that means dreams of morning sex are out of the equation.”
“Oh God, if only we could.”
“Oh we will, we will. One day.”
Careful bro, you don’t want to startle her by moving too quickly. But by the look on her face and the little smile she has I think it should be okay to make the first move in. You know, hello and maybe a kiss on the forehead that you like so much, nothing more.
“Morning beautiful.”
“Uh, hi. Did I sleep like this all night?”
“Well, apart from the occasional twitchy nightmare and dream-induced whimpering, yeah you were here all night, safe, with me, just as I promised.”
“I’ve no doubt you did promise, but, well, I don’t remember much after getting into your car.”
“I actually hoped that would be the case. You weren’t exactly in the best frame of mind last night.”
Too right she wasn’t. Damn, I’ve never known someone to twitch and move as much as she does in her sleep. Shit, I have known puppies that whimper and move less.
“I brought you some of my older clothes, well, not older, they’re just smaller than what I wear now, nothing wrong with them at all. I just thought you might like a shower and something fresh to wear.”
“Umm, thank you.”
“No need Lexi, no need. Now you go and shower and get changed, en suite’s through there. I’ll get some food on the go.”
Well that was smooth as silk, bro. Leaning in like that and kissing her softly on the forehead, judging by the soft blush to her cheeks there, she actually liked it. Well shit, why wouldn’t she like it? It was tender and oozing more love than a Shakespearean sonnet, only I’m here wondering if we should have pressed our advantage while we had the chance. Oh well. Hey, now someone is being very proactive. Careful Lane, soft and tender remember, damn her lips feel wonderful, soft and a little powdery, like marshmallows dusted with icing sugar. Try toying gently with the hair at the top of her neck quickly. Yeah, she’s pushing into you, she likes that, ease up a bit. Okay lover boy, break off now and go do some breakfast, she is starting to get a little overwhelmed again.
“Just wanted to show you not everything about me is cold and fierce. Now go change, I’ll get some breakfast on.”
“Uh, okay.”
Damn, dude, look at her. She doesn’t know which way is up now. Hot Lips, baby, can you pull our girl’s brain back into her head? She seems a bit lost.
“Shit babe, I’m a bit lost by that kiss. It felt freaking awesome from this end, so God knows how my girl is taking it. Why can’t he kiss my lips like that first thing in the morning?”
“Grrr. Damn babe! Give it a day, he may just do that or I might just force him to.”
“Mmm a girl can hope. Just be careful, remember, nothing too soon, she’s still not out of the woods yet.”
You know I’m really impressed right now, Lane. You’ve gone from zero to hero in no time flat. Here we are, listening to the sounds of a running shower and rather than go creeping in there and ploughing her in the shower like you would have any other bit of fluff that happened to be in our bathroom back home, you’re here, cooking bacon and scrambled eggs, and I have to say, you make some mean scrambled eggs. Oh, going all out with this, pulling out the herbs, better be careful though, you don’t know if she is allergic to any of them. Hey, here she comes all drippy and sexy in your clothes.
“Feel better? You look refreshed, and I have to say that Tee and those sweats look good on you.”
Damn, she is one stone cold fox; bro, if you blow this, you are never and I mean, never, going to find anyone like her. No matter how hard you look.
“Mmm I needed that; you have one hell of a power shower in that bathroom.”
“Yeah, when I had this built, I figured I may as well go big or go home. This place is my home away from home, a place for me to decompress and unwind. Just know, if you ever need to get away, just give me a shout and it’ll be here.”
“You really mean that don’t you?”
“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, Lexi.”
“I know, I just have a hard time believing people, with everything that has happened in the past few years, it’s become more and more obvious that honesty is a hard thing to expect or even find.”
“I know, but enough of that. Eat up; we’re going for a walk.”
“Where?”
“Fucked if I know, we’ll find out when we get there.”
“You’re a very hard man to read, Lane Anderson.”
“Not really, you just haven’t had a chance to see the real me.”
“True, but what I have seen, those little glimpses when you let your guard down in the office, I liked.”
“Well eat up then and I will let you see as much as you want.”
“Hmmm, that’s a very open invitation.”
“And not one I make to just anyone. Before we head off for a walk though, I have to take a small spin into town. Need a few things for dinner. You okay to wait here or do you want to come with?”
“No I think I’ll be okay, but umm, you do have an alarm system or something here right?”
“Yup, alarm code is two zero eight six. I’ll set it before I leave, I shouldn’t be more than an hour.”
Well this is nice; warm sand, fresh clean ocean, and yet, we both know she is still as tense as a cat on a hot tin roof, no matter how flirty and relaxed she seemed back in the beach house. We need to find a way to make her more comfortable, Lane, to let her really know we aren’t just in this for a quick fumble. You love her, and her, well, she’s head over heels for you. No, don’t blurt it out you dumbass, that’s just going to make shit awkward, I know what you were thinking, thank fuck you kept your trap shut.
Take her hand gently and lead her to that cove you found when this place used to have a campsite. Weird how things go, really. Anyway, get moving, the path is over there, unless something has messed up the place. The views from up there were stunning when we were little, so now, well, that should get her head calm enough to have the fog fading fast.
“So what did you get that was so desperate when you took off and left me to fend for myself?”
“None of your business, cheeky, besides, I ca
n’t give away all my secrets can I? Otherwise what would I have to surprise you with later? Anyway, come with me, I’ve got something I want to show you.”
“Lane, what ... where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise and if I tell you now, then what’s coming next won’t be nearly as worth it.”
You’ve gotta love this place, mate, the views around here are freaking phenomenal; I just hope Lexi loves them as much as we do. Just for the love of God, do not do what you used to as a kid. You know, taking a running leap from the top into the pool below and be careful with the footing mate, remember the pathways here are crumbling. Keep a tight hold on our girl, bro, we don’t want her taking a tumble.
The air is a little colder up here. I’m so glad you wore your sweats and not those daft cargo shorts. The wind would have had me shrivelling fast. Just hope that if I do end up going tortoise you can get something warm on me sooner rather than later. I don’t fancy having you tease me back into life like the last time we were up here.
“So, what do you think?”
“Oh Lane, this is beautiful, you … it’s like you can see forever up here.”
“I know, I used to come here a lot as a kid, it’s one of the reasons I bought the extra land around the house to try and keep developers off of it. Come on, let’s sit, you’ve got to be a little worn out after I dragged you up here.”
Nice move, bro, nice move. Uh hang on, did you bring a blanket or something? The bench that was up here rotted out years ago. So it’s either get grass in your arse crack, well more accurately a grass stain on the seat of your pants, or stay standing the entire time you’re up here.
“I wonder.”
What are you doing now? You look like some scrambling hermit looking for a hole to crawl in. Hell, I can feel the disturbed curiosity coming off of Lexi and Hot Lips. Mate, you really aren’t doing yourself any favours … hang on, what the fuck is that.
“Uh Lane?”
“A friend of mine stashed this here back when we were teens, we used to come up here and go base jumping into the pools or climb down and into a couple of the small caves in the cliff face. It got to a point where we were risking chest infections and flu a lot of the time, the wind can get pretty cold up here closer to winter, so he stashed this bag here. I’d forgotten all about it until he called recently to catch up.”