by Jillian Dodd
“JJ,” he says.
Ooohh, I’m in trouble when I’m JJ, not Princess.
“How ’bout I take you home? You’ve had a rough night with Jake and all and, well, you’re starting to drink a lot.” I start to speak, but he holds his hand up in the halt position and finishes. “And you know Danny is one of my best friends, but I’m not sure I trust you with him tonight.”
“What? You think I might damage his reputation? That big stud Danny has to stoop to dating useless virgins?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Phillip,” I say, exasperated, “can you please let me scrape a little fun out of what is left of my night? Danny is a good guy and you know it.”
“Yeah, well tonight he looks like he could eat you alive. I’m not sure I like it, and I’m really not sure you can handle it.”
“Phillip, I’m fine, and I haven’t been drinking a lot. I’ve had two tiny sips of Jack, but I didn’t drive, and I’ll get drunk if I want to.” Of course, I don’t want to, but he doesn’t need to know that. “And anyway, what’s so wrong with having someone look at me like that? Maybe I want to be wanted.”
Phillip is getting really bossy and I hate that, so I say, just to spite him, “You know how I told you tonight was the night.” Okay, I know what I’m about to say is not even close to being true, but I say it anyway, just to give him something to think about and because, honestly, I have been thinking about it too. “Hell, maybe it still is.” I shrug my shoulders, like my virginity is something that requires very little thought. “Who knows, Phillip; maybe I’ll just switch the guy.”
Phillip’s eyes get huge at that comment. I know I’m not being very nice to him, but he’s pissing me off. I turn on my heels. They’ve sunken into the dirt and I nearly trip, but I maintain control and start to walk away.
Then I stop, turn around, and continue. “And stop scowling at me every time I take a drink. I’m a big girl, Phillip. I can take care of myself.”
I march off in the direction of the keg.
When I get there, Danny runs his hand across the bare skin at my waist, giving me instant goose bumps across my entire body. He hands me the bottle. I take another sip and pass it on to John, as Danny whispers in my ear, “So tell me about this great underwear.”
Which gives me goose bumps all over again.
I don’t get to respond because our conversation is interrupted by Lisa complaining, “I’m cold. Let’s go warm up by the fire.”
Danny looks at me seriously. “Jake’s over there. Can you deal with that?”
I think.
Uh, no.
Yes.
Maybe.
“Uh yeah,” I say, as we walk to the bonfire, “although I’m really not cold.”
“Yeah, me neither.” He throws his arm around my shoulder, winks at me, and smiles a devious grin.
Uh, oh. He’s got a wild idea, I can tell. He’s giving me the look. The look he’s given me on so many other trouble-making occasions.
“What?” I say knowingly.
“Ya know, maybe it’d be good for Jake to think there’s a reason you never did it with him.”
I squint my eyes, trying to understand what he’s getting at.
“Like, maybe you were doing it with, oh, say, someone older. Someone you may have gone to visit often at college.”
“Someone like you?” I say, getting it.
Danny grins conspiratorially.
Hmm. Nice idea, but I’m not sure Jake will believe it. Well, actually he might believe it, cuz he’s jealous as hell of Danny. And I did kinda lie to Jake about my trips to Lincoln all year. In fact, I may have led him to believe I rarely saw Danny—that I spent most of my time partying with Lindsay, a girl from my volleyball team who, honestly, I never saw even once.
Jeez, our relationship has obviously been of the Don’t ask; don’t tell variety.
Nice.
I study Danny carefully. “You know, I’m not so sure we should mess with Jake’s temper.”
“Don’t worry, Jay, I’d love for him to make a move. Most of the guys on the team would’ve beaten the shit out of him years ago, but Coach would’ve killed us. But for him to believe it,” he stops, pulls me close, kisses me, and then says, “I might have to do a little more than kiss you.”
Sorry, I’m a bit foggy. What were you saying before your kisses wiped all rational thoughts from my mind? Oh yeah, doing more.
“Whatever.”
“So don’t freak out and slug me or anything. Deal?”
“When was the last time I slugged you?”
“Uh, eighth grade. Phillip convinced me I should try to look up your skirt.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, you deserved it, and it worked. You haven’t done it since.”
“Not that you know about anyway.” He smirks.
“So what kind of things are we talking about?” I coo.
“You’ll see, or maybe I should say feel,” he answers cryptically, then slides his warm hands up the back of my sweater.
He grins, which melts my heart and numbs my brain, then drags me over to join everyone by the fire.
I swear, if he keeps kissing me, there will be nothing left of me but one big puddle. I’m not exactly sure what we’re getting ourselves into, but Danny always has great ideas and, well, I’m having fun.
I once read a quote from Marilyn Monroe. She said, “Ever notice how what the hell is always the right answer?”
I think that should be my theme song for tonight.
I wonder if anyone’s ever set it to music?
But, hey, as long as I’m warm and Danny keeps kissing me, let’s throw caution to the wind.
What the hell.
Right?
And, speaking of kissing Danny, did I mention how wonderful it is? How I can feel it all the way down to my toes?
Oh yeah, I think I did.
Did I mention that I feel a little dizzy?
Maybe that’s more the whiskey.
No, it’s not. I mean, I’ve only had a couple little sips.
I think I’m just intoxicated by Danny.
I mean, what girl wouldn’t be?
And what exactly did Phillip mean by He looks like he could eat you alive? Does he think Danny might actually want me? Like, more than just kissing me and trying to make Jake jealous so I will feel better?
Me?
I’m not even a cheerleader.
And definitely not a C-cup!
He’d be breaking way out of his comfort zone.
What about the fact that I’m having conflicting thoughts about him? I mean he’s a great guy and he is older and has more experience than a high school boy, and if the kissing is any indication then I think we could have a winner!
Shit.
Unfortunately, he is also my friend.
My Good Friend.
Would I want him to be more than that?
Uh, yeah! Right?
But I don’t really have time to contemplate that thought because as Danny and I slide to the front of the group, the bottle of Jack is passed around again. I put it up to my mouth for another sip, when I notice Phillip out of the corner of my eye. He’s giving me the eye and ever so slightly shaking his head no.
Okay. Fine. So I pass it along without a taking a drink.
I thought everyone would give me shit about it, but no one even seems to notice. Evidently, Phillip is the only one concerned about my drinking habits for the evening.
We are now in plain view of Jake and his loser friends. Of course, pre-Boobs, I thought they were my friends too. I find myself staring at Jake through the fire in a daze. I catch him looking back at me, but before I can read his expression, Danny twirls me around to face him.
The boy wastes no time.
I know he knows that Jake is watching, but I have to wonder.
Is he doing this just to piss off Jake?
Or is it because he’s actually enjoying it?
Danny kisses me thoroughly and very much seems
to be enjoying it.
I know I am.
In fact, I feel like my knees could give way at any minute. He puts his hand on my back, between where my sweater stops and my jeans begin, and rubs slowly. Then, while still kissing me, he runs that hand up under my sweater. I find myself thinking about how wonderful it feels, wondering what Jake must be thinking, and deciding that I really don’t care.
I may very well be developing multiple personalities from all this trauma.
My thoughts are interrupted by the feel of Danny’s hand sliding down my back, past the waistband of my jeans, and into thong territory. I don’t move, but I stop kissing him and suck in a deep breath. Danny quickly moves his hand onto the outside of my pants. But then he chuckles in my ear, glances at Jake, and slides his hand down to the bottom of my butt, where it meets my leg, and gives it a little pinch.
I toss my head back and kinda laugh and scream at the same time.
It definitely gets Jake’s attention.
The laugh is not for show, though, because it really tickles.
I know. It’s a weird place to be ticklish. It’s kind of like when I stand behind Lisa and stick my index fingers into the sides of her waist. That girl can’t help but scream out loud. It is also funny because Phillip and Danny are the only friends of mine who know this about me, having been ratted out by my Dad years ago during a particularly competitive Thanksgiving Day game of flag football. Instead of grabbing my flag, Dad pinched me there, which caused me to fumble the football.
Danny and my team lost because of it.
He still gives me crap about that.
Jake does not know this fact about me, and I’m sure what Danny is doing must look bad.
I’m still sort of laughing and thoughts are swirling around in my brain. I bring my head back towards Danny and realize he is, like, right there.
He puts his lips on that little spot right at my jaw line, almost up by my ear, where I am even more ticklish.
Believe it or not, this is a spot that Jake, in over a year, has never found.
And I have never told Danny about it.
I giggle out loud and think fleetingly that if he can find that spot so fast then maybe we belong together.
You just can’t fight fate. At least, that’s what Lisa says.
I feel like Meg Ryan in Top Gun. I just want to scream aloud, Danny, you big stud. Take me to bed or lose me forever.
Uh. Like, now.
Seriously.
Who cares about making Jake jealous?
But, evidently our PDA was all Jake could take.
He grabs my shoulder, jerks me toward him, and says, “JJ, what the hell?”
I can feel Danny right behind me. He’s so mellow about this. He just wraps his arms around my waist, pulls my back in tight to his chest, and leans his chin on my shoulder.
Like this is an everyday occurrence.
God, I wish it were.
Of course, that is exactly what he wants Jake to think.
I can only imagine the look he’s giving Jake.
If it were me, I would have my thumbs stuck in my ears, with the rest of my fingers waving at him, going nana, nana, boo, boo.
But I doubt Danny is doing that.
Because my ego has been substantially boosted by Danny’s attention, I look very blankly at Jake and let out a breathy sigh. “Well, Jake, Danny was just kissing a very ticklish spot on my neck. One that you’ve never managed to find and, well, you’re interrupting.”
I raise my eyebrows at him and shrug my shoulders in a what’s-a girl-to-do gesture.
So many boys; so little time.
Scratch that.
One boy and not nearly enough time.
Jake studies Danny and me, and then says very calmly, “I didn’t realize the two of you had stayed so close.”
Of course this was exactly the opening Danny had been waiting for.
“Well, I guess you could call it that.” Danny chuckles. He looks down at me, kisses the side of my neck and runs the back of his hand down my side, from boob to waist, very slowly and suggestively.
Jake is clearly pissed. His face looks twisted, but I don’t think he dares throw a punch at Danny, especially now that the two linemen have come to stand directly behind us.
So, Jake, being the loser that he is, goes for the weaker link.
Me.
Jake speaks very loudly, so everyone, anywhere within earshot of the North 40, can hear. I feel a crowd gathering around us. “Well, hotshot,” Jake snorts, “Don’t think you’re gonna get anything from that,” he says, with a scowl at me.
Like I am an inanimate object.
“As you can see,” he continues, as Boobs magically appears at his side, “I had to go elsewhere.”
Jake tosses his arm around Boobs, and they both laugh at me like I’m some big inside joke.
Sadly, I probably am.
Of course, I’m humiliated by the fact that my alleged virginity is being discussed in front of half the student population.
Do I have a witty comeback?
What should I say?
Maybe I’ll just punch him.
No, bad idea.
But I don’t have to say a thing, because Danny steps up to the plate.
He pulls me a little closer. I didn’t think I could get any closer but, hurray, I could!
He runs his hand across my thigh, sending chills up my spine. Then he laughs out loud at Jake and says, “Hey, Jake, ya think maybe there’s a reason she’s never done it with you?”
I can see by the look on Jake’s face the thought never crossed his mind.
Hey, wait a minute. I could be a player too.
Or not.
Danny cocks his head and shrugs at Jake.
“Might explain all them trips to Lincoln . . . ” Then he looks at me in a way that can only be described as hungry, and I give him a kind of slow sexy smile that I didn’t even know I was capable of.
It takes a few seconds for the implications of what Danny said to sink into Jake’s little brain. When Mr. Rocket Scientist finally puts two and two (well, one and one) together, his head looks like it’s going to explode, or, quite possibly, implode.
He flies toward Danny. I instinctively duck down just as someone grabs my arm and pulls me out of the way of the flying fists.
Of course—who else?
It’s Phillip.
He holds my arm tightly and practically drags me out of the party.
We get to his car and he orders, “Get in. We’re leaving.”
I can tell he is mad at me, and I probably shouldn’t argue, but I cross my arms in front of my chest and say, “What about Danny?”
I am so not done with that boy yet.
“And me? And maybe I want to see Jake get the crap beat out of him. And, hey, Prince Charming, why aren’t you in there helping to defend my honor anyway?”
Okay. I might have gone a little too far with that one. Sometimes my mouth gets away from me. Phillip is very obviously not happy with me.
“Get. In. The. Car. Now!”
“Okay, Okay, fine,” I say to Mr. Bossy as I slide into the seat. After he slams my door, walks around, and gets into the car, I finish, “but I’m not going home yet.”
Phillip drives down the gravel road that will take us back into town. It’s deathly quiet in the car. He hasn’t said a word to me, and I’m not about to break the silence. I’m mad about the way he treated me at the party. I know he thinks he’s helping, but was it really necessary to drag me out of there? I’ve seen fights at parties before and survived them.
Okay, so I’ve never been the direct cause of one before, but that’s beside the point.
I’m sure it broke up quickly and is already over. The guys are probably back to drinking, telling stories, and having fun.
Without me.
It’s not fair. I could be kissing Danny right now.
I really, really liked kissing Danny. I was also very much looking forward to what might happen nex
t, as in I just might have taken Lisa’s advice and attacked him. I need to get back to the party; back to Danny.
Phillip pulls his car off to the side of the road, puts it into park, then turns to me and says, “Stop glaring at me.”
“I’m not glaring at you.”
But I may very well be giving you mad glances.
“Yes, you are.”
“Well, you’re glaring back.”
“Look, I know you didn’t want to leave, but, unlike you, I did the right thing tonight,” Phillip brags.
What is he talking about? This has nothing to do with right and wrong. Except that he was wrong to make me leave.
“The right thing?”
“Yes, whereas you never thought once about whether any of the things you were doing were right or wrong.”
He is chastising me.
I have had about enough of jerk boys tonight, thank you very much.
“I didn’t do anything wrong tonight, Phillip, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”
“Really? Did you once stop to think that getting Danny into a fight could possibly get him injured and ruin his football career?”
I stare at him. And uh, no, that thought did not cross my mind, but I will not share that piece of information with him.
“You ought to think about someone besides yourself for a change,” he says, adding insult to injury.
“I didn’t make Danny do anything. He wanted to. In fact, the whole making Jake jealous thing was his idea!”
This boy is infuriating!
He says to me, “Whatever. I’m not going to fight with you about this.”
He puts the car in gear and starts driving again.
Not only are we done fighting, evidently we are done talking too.
“So where do you want to go?”
“Back to the party.”
He glares at me, so I say, “I really should let Lisa know where I am. I was supposed to ride home with her and don’t want her to worry.” What I don’t say is, I wanna see Danny, I wanna kiss Danny, I may even want to, uh, do it, with Danny. I am not ready for this night to end. Why did I let him drag me to the car? What was I thinking?
“I already told Lisa that I would take you home.”
Wait. How did he do that? We never stopped to tell her, and the fight broke out quickly, so that means he planned this.