by Jillian Dodd
That means I may actually survive this day.
I open the door to the bathroom and am startled.
Danny is standing right in the doorway with my yoga outfit in his hands.
I had forgotten he was here.
“Put this on,” he bosses.
I do, and after sliding my feet into a pair of flip flops, we head to breakfast.
Just my luck, when we get there, Phillip is there.
He shoves his remaining food into his mouth and says to Danny, “I gotta run. See you on the golf course at ten.”
He doesn’t say a word to me.
Didn’t even acknowledge my presence.
I frown.
Danny, who can’t help noticing the frigid climate between Phillip and me, asks, “What's up with you two?”
“Nothing,” I say, putting on my sunglasses.
Where is Manuel? Someone really needs to get him to turn down the sun out here.
It is way too bright. It’s making my head hurt.
“Stay here,” Danny orders, leaves, and comes back with a huge plate filled with all of my favorite things for breakfast.
None of it looks very appealing.
“Eat something, Jay. And drink some water.”
Shall I tell him that I’m not really in the mood to be bossed around? Probably not. It’s his wedding day; I should try to be nice.
So I pick up a triangle of toast and take a teeny bite.
Danny hands me a mimosa and commands, “You better drink this.”
Yuck.
“I can’t, Danny, I am so never drinking again.”
“Like I’ve never heard that before.”
Danny is teasing me. He seems to think this is hysterical.
Yeah, cuz it’s not him, for once.
So I go against my better judgment and do as he says. I drink the mimosa and am surprised that after a few sips, it’s not half bad.
But then Danny makes me feel sick again, when he asks slowly, “J-a-y, what did you do to Phillip?”
Me?
“Nothing, Danny, I swear, absolutely nothing.”
He shakes his head in apparent understanding.
“Ah, well that’s the problem then.”
“Danny,” I cry, “the night was a flipping disaster.”
“Why?”
“It’s not my fault, Danny, really it isn’t. We were dancing and having a great time, and in my mind, I pictured us dancing, and then I was going to invite him back to my room. I had such great plans.”
“I’m proud of you. So what went wrong?”
“Well, then those cute guys that we killed in volleyball yesterday came over and started dancing with us.”
“I thought they were gay,” he interrupts.
“Me too, but they didn’t act like it last night,” I say, raising an eyebrow and shaking my head, even though it hurts to do so.
“Anyway, we were all dancing together, drinking, and having fun. And Phillip didn’t say a word. He just left me. I thought he had gone to the bathroom or something, and I kept waiting for him to come back, but he never did.”
Danny looks at me with a shrewd eye. “So you were dancing and drinking, and, knowing you, flirting with these guys, and you’re surprised that Phillip left you. What are you, stupid, Jay?”
Hey, that’s not very nice!
“No wonder he’s mad at you. It was supposed to be a date. You were supposed to be with him, not other guys. I’d be pissed at you too!” He gives me a disgusted look.
Hey, you were just complimenting me on my plan.
Traitor.
“I’m a flirt. You know it. Phillip knows it. It’s never bothered him before because he knows I’m harmless. Maybe he needs to loosen up.” I pause, thinking. “But honestly, Danny, even though he says it’s what he wants, I’m not convinced Phillip really wants this either. I mean, if he did, he wouldn’t have given up so easily.” I shake my head at Danny. “Regardless, now I give up.”
“Can you honestly tell me you gave it your best shot with him?” He looks at me with squinty looking eyes, and I have a sneaking suspicion he doesn’t believe that I did.
“Over the years, I’ve seen the many ways you can wrap a guy around your finger.” He rolls his eyes at me. “I should know. Phillip is not immune to you. I think that if you had really tried with Phillip, he’d probably have married you last night.”
I sigh.
“Did you try, Jay?”
“Yes. No. Oh, I don’t know! I know he expected things to progress, but I was very clear that I wanted to take things slow. That I didn’t want to be pushed. I hate being pushed.”
“It doesn’t sound like he was pushing you at all. It sounds to me like you were pushing him away.”
I take off my sunglasses, so Danny can see just how miserable I am. “Look. I did try. I told you, I had big plans for last night and now I’m miserable. And not because I drank too much, but because I think I am in love with him. And I’ve probably already lost him. I want things to work out so much, but at the same time, I find myself holding back. I’m so afraid I’ll screw things up.”
“And I think that’s exactly what you need to do. Screw things up.”
“What?” I ask, completely missing the double entendre.
Give me a break! I’m having a rough morning here.
“Sleep with him, Jay,” Danny says very seriously. “Get it over with, before you lose him.”
Somehow, I manage to get through the day. I do yoga with Lori without throwing up, although, my instructor makes some snide comment about me looking a little green.
I make it through the massage, which is normally really relaxing, but made me nauseous. After the massage, we break for lunch and they bring us some healthy and crappy looking spa food. I beg them for a cheeseburger and fries and, yay, they bring it to me. Lori and I have champagne with lunch, and I’m starting to feel almost normal.
After lunch, we’re both getting pedicures and manicures, and then I’m scheduled for a detoxifying body wrap.
Now that is something I need.
Suck all the alcohol out.
How much do you want to bet the yoga instructor set that one up?
During our pedicures, Lori finally breeches the subject of Phillip. She doesn’t know about the disaster last night, and I have no intention of telling her.
“I saw you at breakfast the other morning,” she says, like she knows some big secret. “When Phillip whispered in your ear, you just melted. Your eyes got all dreamy looking. You know, I have never seen you react to any guy like that.” She does an imitation of how my eyes looked. She looks ridiculous, and I’m sure she exaggerates.
“You’re a smart girl. You always amaze me with your ability to see the world as your great big playground. You can see miles into the future, so why can’t you see a good thing when it’s right in front of your face?”
“Phillip,” I state, knowing full well what she means.
“Yeah, Phillip. You know, Danny thinks so too.”
“I know. He told me once after he dumped me.”
“He didn’t dump you.”
“Oh, I know,” I say with a wave of my hand, “but it bugs him when I say he did. Sorry, it’s an old habit.”
“You know, I know all about the flag bikini, Jade. I’ve even seen that sad, tattered little picture.”
“He still has it?” I’m surprised. “You know, I love it that it doesn’t bother you. A lot of girls would have a problem with it.”
“Well, I think Danny has kind of a been-there-done-that attitude towards you.”
“Been there, maybe,” I say, “but never done that.” I grin at her and then frown and say, “Unfortunately.”
“No. Fortunately. Because if you had, he’s right, you probably wouldn’t have stayed such good friends.”
“Why? Is he that bad at it?”
“Well, I think you could expect that he approaches it the same way he does everything else in his life,” she says crypt
ically.
But I understand completely. “100 percent focus and full out energy.” I sigh and shake my head.
Figures.
“Jadyn, end result is I’m not jealous. Whatever works. He signed a six year, $48 million dollar contract. I don’t care if he visualizes himself playing football with a donkey and a naked clown. Hell, I’d blow the picture up and hang it on the living room wall if I thought it would help his game.”
I squint my eyes at her.
“Okay, maybe not, but my point is that I understand your friendship with Danny, and we both value it.”
“So, brilliant wife-to-be, why do you think I should risk my friendship with Phillip by dating him?”
“Because you’re perfect together.” She pauses for effect, “Jade, it’s like you were made for each other.”
“That’s all great, Lori, but I think it may be too late. But you don’t need to hear about my problems, this is your wedding day.” I smile. “We’re only going to talk about happy things.”
“Did something happen between you two last night?”
“No.”
“Oh,” she says understanding, “is that the problem?”
“Evidently,” I say with a roll of my eyes.
Lori and Danny’s wedding is held on the beach at sundown.
We stand beneath a beautiful white archway that’s laden with tropical flowers and smells heavenly. The hotel’s wedding planner must have weddings down to an art, because they say I do and kiss, just as the big orange sun is sneaking below the horizon. It is the most simple, yet most beautiful and romantic wedding I’ve ever seen.
It’s intimate and personal.
I think if I ever find a man crazy enough to marry me, it needs to be on a beach just like this.
I recovered from my massive hangover, and because I had been pampered all day, I have to say I looked pretty darn good at the wedding. Unfortunately, Phillip, who was looking damn fine himself, didn’t seem to even notice. He was cordial and overly polite to me at the reception dinner with everyone.
And, as maid of honor and best man, we did have to dance together and toast the happy couple. But the whole time he was stiff, and I just wanted to cry and beg him not to be mad at me. I even thought about telling him I was sorry, although I’m still not convinced I did anything wrong. I also thought about telling him that he might be right about me being a little in love with him, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure he’d believe me.
Before we came here, I had pictured in my mind how much fun Phillip and I would have at our two best friends’ wedding. Needless to say, my picture didn’t happen.
As soon as Danny and Lori left, Phillip said, “Good night,” and walked away.
I thought about going dancing to try to make myself feel better, but I couldn’t.
I thought about going to his room, but I didn’t know what I’d say.
So I went straight to my room and kept hoping he would knock at my door.
Of course, he never did.
I know it’s over between us. It got completely screwed up.
What am I going to do without my best friend?
Phillip basically ignored me for the final day of the trip, so I was pleasantly surprised when we got back home, and he was true to his word.
He acted like it never happened.
I guess what happens in Mexico, really does stay in Mexico.
We still talk every night on the phone. It felt a little forced at first, but we slowly worked our way back to normal.
I moved to Omaha, where I have a job with an engineering firm. Phillip is living at his parents’ house, for now, and working at his dad’s company.
My romantic life is, well, not exactly going the way I’d like it to, mostly because I haven’t figured out what to do about Phillip.
So I’m sort of dating this cute guy who’s in a band.
It’s a perfectly mindless fling.
And perfectly mindless is perfect right now.
The summer flew by with work, and the move, and the guitar player. Soon, there is a chill in the air at night and even though the days are still hot, you can practically feel fall and, more importantly, football season in the air.
I haven’t gotten to see much of Danny lately. He went to Wisconsin for the Chiefs’ training camp and was named backup quarterback. I try to talk to Lori and him every few days and am just thinking about calling them, actually, when my phone rings.
I look at the caller ID and am happy to see Danny’s name.
“So, you’re still coming down for the game on the eleventh?” he says, without even saying hello.
“Hello, Danny, and it depends on how good my seats are.”
“Oh, they’re very good, Jaybaby. You’re sitting next to Phillip.”
I’m not sure what has happened to Danny since he started the NFL, but he says baby a lot. He and I have spent a lot of our time on the phone discussing the fact that I may very well be in love with Phillip. Actually, we have determined that I am in love with Phillip, and what my possible options are. I swore to him that I would talk to Phillip about how I feel tonight, while we get ready for the Husker party we’re having.
The Husker party is an annual event celebrating the first game of the season. We’ve done it since high school. The venue has changed a lot—sometimes tailgates in Lincoln, sometimes at different houses—but the guest list stays pretty much the same. It’s a fun way to keep up with old friends, and I’m really looking forward to it.
“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but did you know that Phillip is going out with Monica again? I think it’s getting serious.”
“Really?” I’m surprised by this news, because I got the distinct impression from Phillip that she was just bugging him again. “It doesn’t sound serious to me.”
“Well, I think Phillip might be afraid to tell you.”
“Why? I’m dating someone too.”
“Jay, a drummer—”
“Guitar player,” I interrupt and correct him.
“Does not count. I’m just trying to impress upon you the importance of your doing something this weekend.”
“I know, Danny. I know what I have to do. It’s still just a bit scary to me.”
“I understand that, but I’m afraid if you don’t, you’ll lose him for good, and to someone like Monica.”
“My life sucks.”
“Well, I expect to hear a progress report on Sunday night. And Jaaaay?”
“Yeah.”
“There had better be some progress,” he stresses and hangs up.
I pull up to my condo on Friday after work to find Jimmy, the guitar player, waiting for me. Jimmy has long hair and really does have a rock-n-roll star thing going on. My friends think he is really hot. He is, but he’s nothing compared to Phillip, and Phillip is the only thing I can think about lately. Jimmy is just a decent diversion.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to take you with me.”
“With you where?” I reply, not following him.
“It’s so exciting, Jadyn. The band is playing at the Bash tonight. There was a cancellation, and they called us to play at the last minute. There will be a bunch of music industry people there. This could be our big break, and I want you there with me.”
“But I told you last week, I have to go to Phillip’s house tonight to get all the food ready for the big Husker party tomorrow.”
“Of course,” he snarls, “Phillip is much more important than I am.”
Yeah, I think, but don’t say it.
Instead, I say sweetly, “You know I care about you and your career, but I have thirty-two people coming to the party tomorrow, and they’re expecting something to eat! And the game is early: eleven-thirty. There’s no way I could get everything made in the morning; I haven’t even been to the grocery store yet!”
Jimmy pushes me away. He looks angry. I have never seen him look this way before.
“I am so sick of Phillip this and Phillip
that. I’m sick of being compared to Mr. Perfect. As a matter of fact,” he grabs me by the wrist hard, looks straight into my eyes, and says, “you’re done hanging out with Mr. Perfect. You’re coming with me tonight.”
I wrench my arm away from him.
I don’t like to be told what to do, and I’ll be damned if he’s going to do the telling. I look straight at him and speak very slowly, so Mr. Dense can understand.
“I’m going to keep my plans for tonight. I’m sorry I can’t go to your concert. If I didn’t have people depending on me for this, I would change my plans and go with you, but I can’t. You’ll just have to deal with it.”
“That’s it. It’s time for you to choose.”
He is furious with me.
“Choose what?”
What is he talking about now?
“Between Mr. Perfect and Me. You know everyone thinks the two of you have something going on. I always say it’s not true, but now I’m not so sure. Maybe the real reason you want to go has more to do with cooking with Mr. Perfect than cooking food.” He adds, “In fact, if you don’t go with me tonight, we’re through. So choose.”
Okay, that’s it. He’s pushed me too far.
“Let me get this straight. You want me to choose you, someone I have known for like two seconds, over someone I have been friends with for like my entire life? Well, let me tell you, Jimmy, the choice is easy.” I wave bye-bye with my hand and say, “Goodbye.”
“I knew the two of you had something going on the whole time. I’m outta here.”
He storms out the front door and yells, “You’ll miss me when I’m famous!”
Driving to Phillip’s house, my insides are churning over my fight with Jimmy, the guitar-playing jerk. I mean, I would have stopped dating him soon anyway. I was just sort of planning on keeping him around as a backup. You know, in case things didn’t go well with Phillip this weekend.
Shit.
Now it appears I’m flying solo.
Of course, I can’t be too upset and, well, he was kind of right about Phillip.