A Better Place

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A Better Place Page 22

by Jennifer Van Wyk


  “I know. That’s part of what makes you so frickin’ amazing. It’s irritating.” I laugh lightly.

  “Ha! Well, my apologies.” He smiles at me, and I feel like such an ass. He really is amazing.

  “It’s the past,” I say as I gesture a hand around. To what, I’m not sure. I can tell he had an idea what happened before I moved to Liberty, but I haven’t given him any details. I’m not sure if I ever will, but part of me feels like I should. The other part of me says to hold onto it and not let anyone in. Entrance is power. And I won’t allow myself to lose that power again.

  “Got that, baby. You need to know this. I may be a patient man, and that’s not gonna change. You give it to me when you give it to me. I’m not going to push. But you are gonna give it to me. Because this…” He gestures between the two of us, very surely. “…is gonna happen. You know it. I know it. I’m not going anywhere, so you take your time with that, but you gotta give me something. This is moving forward, and I’m pretty damn happy about that, but you need to give me a little blip of whatever is going on in your head so I don’t overstep.”

  I look away just briefly then back at him, into his striking blue eyes. My eyes move over his features. His short hair, the small scar on his cheek that only adds to his hotness, down his tattooed arm to where his hands are gripping mine with understanding. He squeezes lightly, and my eyes make their way back up to his. I look deeply for anything that may tell me my instincts are wrong. But all I find is sincerity and something that looks a little like love.

  He gives me a small smile, and my heart flips.

  “James, I need to tell you something.”

  “I’m all ears, beautiful.”

  I swallow several times, trying to piece together in my mind what I’m going to say to him.

  He moves us to the living room so we’re sitting on the couch. He pulls me down so I’m close to him then lifts my legs so they’re draped over his. He rests his large hands on my thighs and squeezes lightly. “Carly, baby. I’m here alright? I’m not going anywhere. No matter what you tell me. You have to know I have a little bit of a clue about Vince, right?”

  His eyes go soft, and I almost weep at the sight.

  “Bear with me, okay? Just listen?”

  “Of course.” He lifts his hand and cups my cheek then brings my face down to his for a kiss.

  “You want Jack home for this?”

  Damn him. He’s too perfect.

  “No. I’ll be fine.”

  “You sure? I can text him, tell him to come home.”

  “My husband,” I start, letting him know that I don’t want to wait for Jack to come home to tell him.

  His jaw goes hard, and he nods once.

  His shoulders deflate, his eyes close tightly, and he blows out a breath. He squeezes the back of my neck lightly. “Before you continue, I need to tell you something. Something I know I needed to tell you when it happened yesterday, but dammit, I didn’t want to ruin another one of our nights. It seems like he keeps getting into every damn date we have, and I just wanted us to have something without him. The guy I fought at Tate’s? I can’t be sure, but I have a feeling it was him. I saw a car parked outside your house on Christmas Day, but I hadn’t heard any of this from Will yet, so I didn’t think much of it and I didn’t get a good look at the guy inside. When I fought at the gym, I truly had no idea who he was, though I had my suspicions. I could tell he was pissed about something, but didn’t connect that it could possibly be him, you know? But, when I was leaving the gym, I saw the same car driving away… and the guy I fought was driving it.”

  “Wait. He was here? At my house?” I shriek.

  “I think so.”

  “And at the gym? James! That means he’s following me. He’s following us! What about Jack?! Why would you hide this from me? I can’t handle lies, James! Don’t lie to me. I need to know the truth. What’s happening?”

  “Beautiful, relax. We got this.”

  “What does that mean, ‘We got this?’” I mimic his voice, stand up, not allowing him to keep me by him any longer. My voice is raising, and my heart feels like it could explode. The need to escape, to flee from our home again is clawing its way back in.

  James stands up and halts my pacing, wrapping me up in his strong arms. After a moment of fighting against him, I take a deep breath, inhaling his comforting scent.

  “Beautiful. You think I would ever let anything happen to you? To Jack? You’re mine. You both are. You get that? I protect what’s mine. You two are safe. I promise you. All I know going forward is that Will, Tate, and I… we have a plan. A just-in-case plan that you know about, yeah? They’re keeping an eye on Jack. But we…” He gestures between the two of us with his other hand. “…need to talk to Jack and get a plan together with him. Make sure he knows everything. I want a safe word you guys can text me if you see anything funky, anything at all. I want to know if you fart crossways, and it makes you panic,” he jokes, obviously trying to lighten my mood.

  It doesn’t work. I don’t relax in his arms, my body remaining stiff and rigid.

  “But… is he…”

  “He’s not getting Jack, baby. He’s not getting to you. I’m not going to lie. I have no idea where he is. But, I promise you, with all that I have in me, he’ll never get you or Jack. You’re mine, remember? I’m a selfish son of a bitch. I keep what’s mine safe. Forever. I’ll sleep in my car outside your house every night if that’s what it takes to make you feel safe.”

  I believe him. With all my heart. His words allow me to relax in his hold. I also know now, more than ever before, that he needs to know the truth.

  I roll my lips together and look into his eyes. I sit down and he follows, my left leg bent, knee touching the back of the couch and tucked under my right leg. “Vince? He…” I shake my head, trying to not let the memory of what a son of a bitch he was take over. “…he isn’t a good man. When we first started dating, even before we got married, he was incredible. Kind, giving, loving. But before I knew what happened, it was like something in him shifted. Everything about him flip-flopped. He was the complete opposite. A Jekyll and Hyde. Then I got pregnant with Jack, and it suddenly shifted back. He was so excited to be having a son. A boy to carry on his name. He dove head-first into all things fatherhood. I was so happy to be pregnant that I turned a blind eye to everything that happened before. Vince was a master manipulator. He changed back to who I had fallen in love with so rapidly that he made me believe it was all in my head.

  “Then we had our son, and he became our everything. But shortly after Jack’s first birthday, the nightmare that I thought I had completely made up in my mind, returned. And it returned in full force. Once again, my life turned upside down. I’ve told you about my parents. My mom is an alcoholic and hasn’t been around since the day I went to college. And my dad died – or at least that’s what I’ve always been told. I’ve always wondered if Mom just never knew who my father was. So, as stupid an excuse as it is, I didn’t have anyone teaching me what a real marriage was like. I had no idea what to expect and was too embarrassed to ask any of my married friends.

  “So I became a recluse, basically. Aside from when I was teaching, I was home with Jack. Or at the park, or getting groceries… you know what I mean. My life was work, caring for Jack, and doing my best to avoid Vince’s violent mood swings at all costs. Trying to keep Jack away from it. I didn’t want him to see it, you know?” I wipe the tears that are leaking from my eyes, angry that he’s gotten to me once again.

  James nods his head as he rubs up and down my back, his other hand resting on my thigh. He squeezes once, and I lean down for a kiss. When I lift my face from his, I watch as his tongue sneaks out, licking his bottom lip, tasting me, and it takes everything in me not to push for more, but I know I’m not done.

  “And… there were others. Women, I mean. I have no idea how many. And honestly, I’m not sure if they were relationships or paid for.” I wince, but James doesn’t even flinch. �
�He wasn’t really even trying to hide it. I took care of paying our bills so I would see what he charged on the credit card. It was almost as if he wanted to be caught. Wanted me to say something. And maybe I should have. I just didn’t want to poke the bear, ya know? He and I were far from intimate with each other at that point, and if he was having sex with some other woman, it would keep him away from me. I found myself almost grateful. How sick is that?”

  “Not sick, baby. And I gotta say kind of makes me grateful that you weren’t with him very recently. So, what changed? What brought you to me?”

  What brought me to him?

  Am I ready to tell this part of the story?

  I told him the easier part, the part I think he already knew, and he didn’t react.

  “Well, until about three years ago, Vince kept his anger to words.”

  “What happened three years ago?” His voice takes on a hard edge.

  I shake my head and shrug my shoulders, sadness washing over me like a wave. “I honestly don’t know. He was mad at me for something, I don’t know what. It never mattered. He would pick a fight over anything and nothing. It didn’t make a difference what I did or didn’t do. He would always find a way to sling his anger toward me. But never Jack. I don’t know if he did it on purpose. My guess is he did. But Jack never saw it. I think he probably wondered, but he never said anything.”

  “Carly, baby,” he says in a voice so soft it’s almost a whisper. “I think he knew. He’s mentioned a few things, but I’ve never pushed. I know this is yours to tell.”

  I nod my head. “I was afraid of that.”

  “He knew you would shield him from it, though.”

  “Yeah,” I say and pause, trying to gather my thoughts. “The last day Jack and I were in our home in Arizona, Vince came home from work angry at the world. No explanation why. Though, that’s not really that odd. He never needed an explanation. And I still don’t know why I chose that day to stand up for myself. But he threatened me with Jack, and I was done.”

  “Mama bear,” he murmurs and my stomach does that familiar flip.

  I reach over and pull his hand into mine, needing to feel his strength for what I’m about to tell him. Hoping that it will calm him the same way his touch calms me. “Yeah. All that time I was afraid of poking the bear, but turns out, I was the bear he needed not poke.” I laugh quietly to myself, though none of this is funny. I take a deep breath and lick my lips. “Anyway, he turned violent. Hurting me with his words wasn’t enough for him anymore. He slapped me then tried choking me, and finally ended up throwing me across the room. I barely missed hitting my head on the brick surround the fireplace. And… Jack saw it all.”

  “Son of a bitch!” he cries and stands up, gently — but abruptly — placing me on my feet.

  He turns and faces me when I whisper his name.

  “I’m sorry.” He rests his hands on his hips and takes a deep breath in through his nose and out again. “I knew it. I hoped I didn’t know, but I did. Dammit!” He shouts and stomps around the room angrily again. I allow him the time he needs.

  When he’s regained his composure, calming himself back down again, he walks us back over to the couch, sitting us so I’m on his lap. He kisses me softly on my lips and cups my face with one of his hands, rubbing a thumb along my jaw. “What happened next?”

  “We left. I told Vince never to come looking for me again. That he was no longer a part of our lives. We kept driving, and something drew me to Michigan. I wanted new, and everything about this town made me feel safe, comfortable. We stayed in a hotel for a couple nights, and one day we were out for a walk, just wanted the fresh air and to see what the town had to offer. It was summer, the weather was beautiful, and we found an amazing park with basketball hoops where Jack met a few boys and struck up an instant friendship. One of the moms was really nice, and she told me about this house that was for sale by owner. I had no idea what we would be able to afford, but she told me the owner, who happened to be her mom, would do rent-to-own. She gave me the address and her mom’s phone number, and we went over right away. Turns out, Donna’s husband treated her the same as Vince did me, so she and her daughter had a pretty good idea of what happened without me telling them.”

  He stands again, placing me on the couch.

  I watch as his feet move back and forth across the carpet in front of me.

  “You okay?” I ask him.

  “Not really,” he tells me honestly. “But I need to hear this. It’s just… it’s really fucking hard to hear, Carly.” He shakes his head before looking up to the ceiling and closing his eyes. When they’re back on me he nods, so I take that as my cue to continue.

  “Not even a month after getting settled, Donna got me hooked up with a lawyer, introduced me to the principal of the school to see about filling in for a first-grade teaching position of a lady who was on maternity leave, and gave us the first family we’d ever had.

  “One weekend Donna watched Jack overnight so I could deliver divorce papers to Vince personally. I wanted to see him one last time, face to face. I wanted to make sure he saw the pictures that Jack took of me that we would bring to the police if he ever came after us. I also showed him the copies of the receipts that proved of his cheating. He signed, reluctantly, but he did. I came home, and Jack introduced me to Tate. I started working at the school, and it turned into full-time when the teacher decided to stay home with her baby. And that’s about it.”

  “About it, huh?” he raises an eyebrow.

  “Well, three years after moving here, our world shifted once again, but I think you already know that.”

  He saunters over to me, lifts me off the couch and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against mine. “You’re the strongest, bravest most beautiful woman inside and out that I’ve ever met in my life. I love you. You gotta know that.”

  My breath hitches, and I lean back. Without hesitation I reply, “I love you, too.”

  In an instant, his mouth is on mine, and everything Vince is long forgotten.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Carly

  The second I open the door, all the air goes out of my lungs in a giant whoosh. I’ve seen casual James, date-night James, gym James, working-at-Balance James, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen dressed-up James.

  The solid black suit looks like it was possibly made just for him, and the bright white shirt underneath makes his naturally tan skin look even darker. The thin shiny black tie looks perfectly knotted.

  I realize my mouth is hanging open, so I close my mouth and swallow what little moisture I have.

  “Holy shit.” I breathe out.

  “I was about to say the same thing,” he tells me, his voice rough, his eyes roaming over every inch of me.

  I’m more than happy Tess offered to help me pick out a dress for the wedding. James didn’t tell me how we needed to dress, but obviously, she knew.

  After what felt like hours of dress shopping, we finally stumbled along this fitted bright red lace, floor-length dress. The long sleeves graze my wrists, shoulders are set wide, and the front dips just low enough, showing off a good amount of skin. The back is my favorite, though. It dips into a deep V, and as I spin around to give James a 360-degree look, he sucks in a breath and curses under his breath.

  “Jack gone?” His voice is husky and deep.

  “Yeah. He picked up Maggie, still not sure how she got the approval for that.”

  I gasp when in one swift move I’m in his arms, his fingertips grazing over my lower back, dipping just under the material. Without any warning, his lips are on mine, and we stumble back until we hit the door of the closet by my front entryway.

  His large body presses into mine, his hands running up and down my sides before sliding along my neck and into my hair. He puts pressure on my jaw before his hand trails down the front of my neck, over my breasts and down, until he’s cupping my butt.

  I try to wrap my leg around him, but with the tight
fit of the dress, I can’t lift it enough, so I settle for running my hands down his back and grabbing his butt, just like he’s doing to mine.

  Our heavy breaths, moans, and sounds of our kissing fills the room, building a fire inside me. When we finally pull away, he rests his forehead against mine, obviously trying to catch his breath.

  “You may need to change,” he says. “You’re gonna show up the bride.”

  I giggle, feeling happier and lighter than I’ve ever felt, knowing what I do to him is a heady feeling, because he does the same to me.

  “Alright. I’ll be right back,” I tease and start to move toward my room. He grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back to him.

  “Not a chance, beautiful,” he growls. “But you’re mine, yeah? No dancing with anyone else tonight.”

  “What if Jack wants to dance with me?”

  “Tough shit.”

  I laugh loudly, and he grins.

  “Damn, Carly. You look beautiful every day, but now?” He takes his left finger, spinning it in a circle.

  I slowly spin in a circle, showing him the back once again. He moans and pulls me back, pressing himself against me. I can feel his hardness pushing on my ass. I reach behind me and grab his thigh as he buries his face into my neck.

  “You’re gonna kill me all night long, gorgeous. You look radiant.”

  “James,” I whisper, turning my head so he has more access to my neck.

  “Carly, we gotta get the hell outta here, or I’m gonna miss my niece’s wedding, and I’m here to tell you, my sister-in-law is sweet as punch, but she’d cut my nuts off and shove ‘em up my ass if I missed Em’s wedding.”

  I shimmy against him just slightly, and he grabs my hips, holding me still until he lets me go. As I start to walk away, he takes a swat at my butt, catching me by surprise.

  “Behave,” he growls, his eyes darker blue than I’ve ever seen them.

  “Did you… did you just spank me?”

  “That’s what you get,” he says, his voice so deep and husky. “Come on, beautiful. Time to show you off.”

 

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