"Pilot wouldn't blame you," Brie interrupted, not wanting him to finish his sentence. She turned her face to the side, and he dropped his hands.
When she looked back, Rykken was glaring at her. "It's not about Pilot and you know it." His Adam's apple moved up and down, full of emotion.
She watched him for several minutes as he paced around the room, picking up random objects and setting them down again. It was the closest they'd come to talking about what was happening between them. It was more than a crush, more than an attraction. They were standing at the edge of a line, but it was the type of line you couldn't come back from once you crossed it. And what good would crossing it do? It would only tie her to the island, let her talk herself out of leaving—because he couldn't come with her. She cared about him too much.
Watching him bounce around the room was miserable, so she forced herself to return to her chopping. The tension between them reminded her of a wave, sucking in the coastline, building momentum as it moved toward the beach. She wondered how long they could go on like this. The thought only exacerbated her twisting stomach, forcing it to tumble over itself.
Rykken had stopped pacing. He was standing next to her, watching her chop. "I'll be here tonight," he said with determination. "Midnight. You're an innate, so I'll need your help figuring out how to control my transformations."
She nodded ever so slightly, so unsure of her voice that she didn't think she could speak without losing her resolve. She felt his breath on her head, but he didn't touch her. A minute later, he was gone, leaving her with a feeling of emptiness, like he'd taken her soul with him.
Brie didn't know much about waves, but there was one thing she was sure of. No matter how long they built up for, or how high they towered, they always broke eventually.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Rykken was in a new, post-water polo schedule with a singular goal—to control his seal powers whenever he was near water. He slept in a little more on weekdays, rode his bike to school, went to classes, then went to Clara's house to learn about the Hallows. The lessons were surprisingly interesting, and Clara was impressed by his progress and memory.
"So much better than Brie," she had said. "The princess probably doesn't remember which limbs to put her socks on in the morning."
After his Hallow lessons, he went home to nap before completing his homework. He usually ate dinner on his own a little after his foster parents went to bed to avoid them. His foster mom didn't remember what had happened in the bathtub—Clara made sure of that—but she still remembered how she felt about Rykken. She was scared of him, and she knew he was different than other people. But she couldn't remember what about him made her so uneasy, or why she wanted to toss him out of her house like a pair of old, dirty boots. She was speaking with their family counselor and they were reconsidering his living arrangements. He had no idea where he would go if she kicked him out—probably to another foster home until he was eighteen and could finally be free of the system.
After dinner, he slept again. Around midnight, without fail, Brie texted him when the paparazzi risk was at a minimum and the rest of the family had gone to bed. He snuck out and rode his bike over to the van Rossum's pool to practice controlling his seal transformations.
It was easy working with Brie. He could see why she was an innate—she looked at problems from several different perspectives until she found the right solution. Most people who couldn't master a skill would try harder and practice more. That's how Rykken excelled in both sports and school. Brie wasn't particular good at either, but now he understood why—if something wasn't working for Brie, she disregarded the rules and tried a different way of thinking about it until she found a path to her end goal.
The hardest part of working with Brie was talking to her about anything other than staying human when he was submerged in water. Their family situations were depressing, the trip they were going on was terrifying, and their feelings for each other... well, they hadn't broached that topic since earlier that week when she rejected him in her kitchen.
Saturday night came, and Brie said he could come over early. She met him in a simple tank top and shorts, but the sight of her caused a stir in his chest. She opened the gate for him like she always did, letting him in through the back entrance of their property. "No Saturday night plans?" Rykken asked.
Brie's lip curved upward at the corner, showing her dimple. "Not tonight. Pilot is on a date though."
Rykken watched her carefully. "Did you enjoy your surf lesson morning?"
"I cancelled."
"Cancelled?"
"Yep," she said. He wanted to press her for more information, but didn't. He wasn't sure the reason mattered anyway.
They walked through Annie's garden of plumerias, pink cottage roses, and hibiscus, to the area closer to the pool near the house. Brie sat at the edge of the pool soaking her feet. He sat down across from her, letting his feet sink into the water slowly.
The first night they practiced, this very act of dipping his toes in the water started the seal transformation on the lower half of his body. The weight pulled him under into the natural water pool until his entire body was submerged, turning him into the slippery sea mammal. It must have been comical to watch, but to Brie's credit, she didn't laugh. She immediately jumped into the water and guided his body to the steps, helping him out of the pool. Uneven strips of fabric from his swimsuit floated to the surface of the pool from when he transformed, but Brie had thought of that too. She didn't giggle or look or get squeamish at all. Instead, she tossed him another pair of water polo briefs the van Rossums kept stockpiled next to the towels.
He tried to enter the pool without transforming a few more times with no success.
"I think it's because you're fighting the transformation," Brie had said. "Instead, imagine that you are okay with the transformation of your toes, as long as you can change back before you fall into the water."
"That's cheating," Rykken said. "I'm still transforming."
"But if you do it fast enough, it will look like you didn't change at all," Brie said, amusement lighting up her face. "And eventually, you won't change, because the transformation back will be so fast."
She made him sit on the topmost stair of her pool, holding onto the rail for balance. He let his feet transform into a tail, then transformed them back into his feet. It was a much simpler process to go from seal to human underwater than he expected.
Over the next several nights, they practiced transforming underwater for speed, then for large amounts of body surface exposed. Eventually, he could transform from full seal to full human form in a few seconds.
Tonight, his feet slid into the water with no repercussions. He could tell something was bothering Brie, because she didn't congratulate him or even look up. He racked his brain for what it could be, until he realized that just about anything could be bothering her at this point. Both their lives were such messes.
"No swimsuit," he said instead. "That seems optimistic."
"I have a good feeling about tonight." Brie smiled sadly at him. "In fact, I don't think I should stay down here with you. I think you're at the point where you can figure it out without my coaching."
"I hope you're right."
She didn't make a move to leave. "Before I go, have you... have you had any more dream predictions?"
"No. The one I told you about is the only dream like that I've had." He may not be having any more vivid dreams, but he still dreamt about Brie every single night. Some nights were good dreams—his arms wrapped around her on a sailboat, keeping her safe as they watched the sunset, the water from the motor spraying all around them. But most of his dreams were nightmares. Brie swimming away from him so fast he couldn't keep up, until she disappeared into the blackness of the ocean. Sirena and Brie leaving him at a strange hotel, transporting out into the streets of a large city and fading into the crowds without him. His dreams often brought out his greatest fears, the most torturous ways he could lose her.
"You're lucky," she said. "It's an amazing gift. Getting glimpses of the future will be useful once you hone it."
He studied her face; even from where he was sitting, she seemed a little... desperate. For answers?
"Brie, what do you want to know about the future?"
"Anything," she said.
"Is this about Milena's map again?" he asked. "I'm still going. Even if Sirena says no."
Brie pursed her lips, worried. "Sirena thinks it's a good idea for you to come with us. She said you're strong and smart, and not corrupted by the New Order. She was impressed with your idea about traveling underwater."
"That's great." Rykken heard the words coming out of his mouth, but he was surprised that Sirena thought so highly of him. "It's settled then."
"No, it's not," Brie said. "I can't let you. She doesn't understand how I feel about—" Brie stopped, leaving Rykken to fill in the blanks for himself. It only made him want her more, but he knew saying so wouldn't help him convince her.
Brie's expression turned hard, resolute. "This is not your fight. You've been a Hallow for what, a week?"
"Clara said your life is worth all of ours."
"Clara hates me! If anything, Sirena's life is worth more than mine. She's the heir to the throne and she's the fighter between the two of us. She has a fire about her that could lead the type of revolt the Hallows want to plan."
"Maybe the Hallows haven't told you everything yet," Rykken said quietly. "If Sirena agreed to let me come, she might know something you don't."
"Sirena doesn't keep secrets from me," Brie said, though the look on her face seemed doubtful. "The rest of them do, but she doesn't. She sees me as an equal."
"Brie," he said. He cleared his throat. "Don't worry about me. I don't have a family to leave behind."
Brie gave him a look the color of unburned coal. "That doesn't mean you don't have people who care about you."
"You and Pilot, for the most part. And I would die to protect you."
"I know that," she said angrily. She seemed flustered by his admittance. He was desperate for her to admit that she felt the same way about him—that she needed him just as much as he needed her.
She folded her hands in her lap, picking at her fingernails. "That's why I can't let you come with us." She stood up, folding her arms across her chest. "Text me if you figure out your powers tonight,"
she said quietly, before racing back to the house.
Rykken stared after her for a few minutes before starting his training. He understood if she was scared—
he was too—but he didn't understand what would cause her to be so angry about their growing feelings for each other.
He progressed down the pool steps slowly, concentrating instead on his transformations. For her.
Because somehow, he associated getting his powers under control with getting Brie to understand that she couldn't keep pushing him away.
He spent the next couple hours running through the exercises that Brie and he designed, pushing the limits of how fast and how much he could transform at a time. He practiced from in the water, transforming to a human. He practiced sitting away from the pool, transforming to a seal. His speed increased, until the transformation was so instantaneous that his body didn't even bother change when he hit the water.
Finally, Rykken climbed the ladder for the diving board. He figured if he could withstand a sudden submersion in the pool without changing, he would finally be comfortable going out into public waters.
He counted to three and jumped, savoring the rush of air that hit his human face before his skin touched the water.
*****
Brie sat on her bed and studied the map of Milena's travels again, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Clara had given Brie a device the size of a cell phone that projected images onto any surface for easy viewing. She could zoom in and out with a few drags of her fingers, and she could tap the dots on the map for more detailed information. She had no idea what Milena was looking for, which meant she had no idea what Sirena and she were looking for, which made it hard for Brie to figure out where they should start. Then, what they would do when they reached any one of these destinations on the map? Hang out until a miracle occurred or someone tried to kill them?
There was also the business of everyone she was leaving behind. Pilot and James and Annie would be safe, she thought—as long as Cora and Thessa agreed to look after them. It seemed impossible for anyone to get hurt under Thessa's watch. Brie still didn't have a story to explain her absence, but she thought she could come up with something that didn't draw media attention.
Last, there was Rykken, who tore Brie's heart apart with indecision. Maybe he would be safer coming with them on the trip instead of staying in Hawaii. After all, Kennedy was still out there. Couldn't she come back for him?
Brie stopped herself. Was she trying to justify her actions, roping that beautiful boy into more danger than they could possibly imagine? Brie knew the New Order wasn't behind Milena's death, but someone was.
She had no idea what they might be walking into, or whom they might find on their quest for answers.
Brie had other reasons for leaving Rykken out of it, anyway. She knew the moment she gave in to letting Rykken come with them, she would give into everything else she felt. It would be a relief, at least, to stop pretending, but that didn't make it the right decision.
Brie was overwhelmed with the prospect of leaving, but she knew the day was coming soon. She would wait for Thessa to return with news about her real father. After that, Sirena and she might go to him, or plot a different move. Maybe they could visit the part of the ocean where Milena's plane crashed? Brie doubted they would find anything valuable there, not six months later, but it was something to do at least.
Either way, she would have no excuses for staying once Thessa came back, which could be any day now.
An upbeat chiming sound came from her phone—a text, interrupting her thoughts. She didn't have to look to know who it was or what it would say. She grabbed her phone, silencing the text, and made her way downstairs quietly.
Outside, Rykken jumped around giddily. Her grin turned to laughter as she watched him prance around the deck, celebrating his victory.
When Rykken saw her, he ran to her, hoisting her into his arms. Brie gasped. She wrapped her arms around Rykken's neck, holding him tight as he spun her around once before setting her down.
He rested his forehead on hers, his hands settled firmly on her waist. His thumbs stroked her back lightly, sending tingles along her spine.
"Brie," he whispered softly.
She didn't say anything, just ran her fingers along the tips of his wet hair, catching the drops of water on her hand. The wave was breaking, washing away any lingering resolve she had to distance herself from Rykken. She was too nervous to look at him; her entire body was aware of how close he was. She let her fingers explore his neck, stroking his Adam's apple, tracing the bone structure of his muscular shoulders.
He kissed her forehead lightly, tucking her hair behind her ear. He traced her ear down the side of her face, lifting her chin lightly with his index finger. She finally looked into his eyes. She felt her mouth watering; she could smell the mixture of natural minerals and rain water on his skin.
He cupped her face, staring into her eyes. She knew she should push him away again, like she had the last time, but she couldn't stand to hurt him. She couldn't stand to be so close to him, yet so dishonest about what she wanted. What they both wanted.
"You're shaking," he observed.
She swallowed. "You make me nervous."
He smiled slightly. "I'm glad I make you nervous." He closed his eyes and leaned in, brushing her lips with his.
His lips were salty, delicious. Brie couldn't breathe. She stood on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck again, pulling him toward her, parting his lips hungrily with hers.
She surprised him, she could tell, and who could blame
him? She had put so much emotional distance between them while they were training; but now, she couldn't think of anything she wanted more than him.
He responded to the pressure of her kisses, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, tracing the lace at the edges of her flimsy camisole.
She felt his fingers on her bare back and let out a soft sigh. He pulled back. "You're driving me crazy,"
he whispered into her mouth.
She touched his face tenderly. "I think I need a breathing break." She took a step away from him, giving them both a little space. Her entire body tingled; she was so aware of him, and all of a sudden there he was in tight polo briefs. She tried not to gawk at his chiseled body, sculpted from years of water sports. He held both of her hands lightly in his fingers. She swallowed again, trying to steady her breathing.
He beamed at her, his eyes never leaving her face.
The trusting, loving look on his face chipped at her heart. "We should think about this," she said, trying to think logically. "We had good reasons for not—"
"You look so beautiful right now."
She looked down—she was barefoot in a tank top and silky shorts, her hair in a messy ponytail pulled to the side.
"In this?" she asked.
"It's a very natural look."
"You mean it looks like I just woke up."
He pulled her toward him. "No, not at all. I mean you look like yourself. Not the Brie you put on for the rest of the world." He coughed. "Not that she isn't hot too," he said, stroking her hair. "But I like you like this best."
Brie raised an eyebrow. "Rykken..."
"It's pointless to pretend," he said, touching her face lightly. "Whether I kiss you again right now or not, it doesn't change how we feel." He traced her nose, her mouth. "If the next months, maybe years, are going to be as dangerous for us as you think, then at least give me this one moment of happiness with you."
Silver Smoke (#1 of Seven Halos Series) Page 26