by Alta Hensley
Stryder bent and kissed the top of her head. He stroked her arm, gathering his thoughts. “Zoya, you know that I’m adopted, but I didn’t tell you everything. I was born in Argentina and grew up in Rosario. I never knew my father, as the moment he discovered my mother was pregnant with me, he left. Getting by in that place was hard enough but trying to scrape out a living in order to feed not only yourself but a child was next to impossible… unless you were willing to work in the coca fields, the labs, or deal. The cartels rule most of Argentina. They take whatever they want and don’t give a damn about who they hurt. When I was six, it was decided that I was old enough to work in the coca fields but my mother was adamant that I go to school instead. What it took me a while to realize, was that in exchange for being allowed to put me into school, my mother was expected to pay. My mother was only twenty-one then as she’d had me at the age of fifteen. She agreed to pay using the only source of income she had: her body. My mother was a beautiful woman but often I came home to discover her bleeding and bruised. She’d assure me she was all right, that she’d just been clumsy and fallen, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew she’d been beaten. I watched her age before my eyes and though I begged her to let me work for the cartel, promised that I’d only work long enough to save enough money for us to run, she always assured me that she was fine. That she wanted better for me. When I was eight, I was sick and left school early. We lived in a one room hovel but it was home. I was passing an alley when I heard… I saw her, pressed against the filthy bricks, some man pounding into her. When the man saw me, he told me that my mamacita was with a real man and to go the fuck away. I’ll never forget the look on my mother’s face. I-I think that was the day she gave up all hope.
“I ran… to a policeman and told him what was happening, begged him to arrest the man. He patted me on the head like a dog and laughed. Told me that I needed to learn how the world really worked. Only certain families had choices. The cartel owned everything, owned my mother. Then he told me to tell pretty Maria that he’d be by for his weekly freebie when his shift was over. I was just a kid but it became obvious that once I knew for sure that my mother was a prostitute, the men saw no need for pretense any longer. Men came at all hours, including several policemen… to our home, or took her somewhere else, or just dragged her into the alley.”
“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Zoya said, trying to turn, yet he simply tightened his hold.
“Let me finish or I never will.” When she again tried, he pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Please… I have to finish.” When she nodded, he lifted his head and looked out across the pastures.
“When I was ten, I came home to find her on the floor, bleeding and semi-conscious. I was just a scrawny kid, but I managed to get her onto the bed. I told her I was going for the doctor but she wouldn’t let go of my hand. I held her and she-she died in my arms.”
He realized Zoya was trembling almost violently and turned her to face him, watching as tears streamed down her face. Pulling her to his chest, he felt her wrap her arms tightly around his waist, laying her cheek against his heart, giving him comfort he wasn’t sure he deserved.
“I swore then that I’d kill the men who’d caused her death. I was blind with rage and filled with pain. One night, I followed one of the policemen who should have protected her but raped her instead. He’d just left another prostitute’s house, a woman who was also only trying to provide for her family. If he hadn’t been drunk and stoned, he could have easily killed me, but he was. I beat him until I couldn’t lift my arm…” Memories of that day, memories he’d pushed deep were playing vividly in Stryder’s mind.
“Did… did he die?”
Her question brought him back. “I don’t know. I left him in that alley not giving a shit if he was dead or if I got caught. All I needed was a few hours more. I’d stolen his gun with every intention of going after the head of the cartel. Of course, I’d never have managed, most likely would have been shot the moment I stepped foot into the compound but I never found out. The moment I went into the coca fields, I was grabbed by a man. Fuck, I’m still not sure how I managed not to shoot him or myself, as I had my finger on the damn trigger, but thank God I didn’t.”
“It was Drake, wasn’t it?” Zoya asked softly.
Stryder nodded. “Yes, and though I could tell he was a gringo, a foreigner, there was something about him that had me telling him my plan to avenge my mother. He didn’t laugh or make light of it or tell me I was a fool. Instead, I remember he pointed to the house and the guards that I’d never even noticed and told me that I’d need to take them out first. He said that maybe I had enough faith to trust that some invisible force would keep me safe but if I decided that living to fight another day was better than being just another statistic of those killed at the hands of the fucking cartel, I could choose to trust him and his team. Hell, I was so stupid that I didn’t even realize that there were other men with him. He then said that if I’d trust him, he’d take me with him when they left Argentina. I told him I didn’t care if I died and that if he tried to stop me, I’d shoot him first.” His chuckle had Zoya lifting her head to look at him, confusion on her beautiful face.
“Sorry, it’s not funny, but this stranger said, ‘then, son, you’d better take off the safety.’ I didn’t even know how to do that. He said that if I truly wanted to avenge my mother, I could do so by going with him. That one day I’d get a chance to save another. Thank God I wasn’t completely blinded by anger. I agreed and watched as his team swooped in and the night lit up. By the time he returned, the house was on fire, as were the surrounding fields. At first I thought he was with the DEA or some government agency, but when one of his team came up, holding a woman who obviously needed medical attention, he told me that saving her had been the goal. She was an innocent drawn into evil against her will. Within a week, I was in Texas, and within a month, I had a new name, a father, two big brothers and our Jennie, who became my second mother. Pops was true to his word. I got an education that included far more than that found in textbooks. Pops made sure I understood the difference between revenge and justice. All I had to do was watch him and Maddox to learn about honor and dedication to a belief. I went on and served my country, gaining experience that has been invaluable when I joined him and Maddox on missions.”
“Missions to save people like Adira, like me,” Zoya said.
“Yes, but you need to know that I’m not innocent of doing bad things, and that while I’ll never know if that policeman died that day and never care, I have killed other men.”
“I hope he did die. He was supposed to protect you, your mother. He was just as evil as Poplov. You and your family fight against evil, Stryder, corruption. Don’t you dare feel bad about that—not ever!”
Stryder cupped her cheek with his palm. “What I wanted to tell you was that I not only understood where Sophia was coming from, I’d lived it. My mother would have done anything to save me… to keep me alive. Even in death she saved me because it led me to Pops. Since that day, I knew I’d spend the rest of my life following in his footsteps. I didn’t mean to break my promise to you, but I just couldn’t damn a woman for trying to protect her child.”
“Oh God, no,” Zoya said, “I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so mad at Anya for not staying alive until she could be saved. The thought of Sophia getting away when Anya didn’t just drove me out of my mind. But Jennie and Adira told me about the fact that Sophia might have a baby… that she wasn’t given a choice. God, Stryder, I was wrong, so wrong and you were right. I don’t want her dead. She’s just as much a victim as we are… just in a different way.”
Stryder brushed a tear off her cheek and said, “You heard Pops say that with the death of Poplov, as well as several of his highest-ranking men, his enterprises are in a state of chaos. Pops has built up an amazing network over the years. Each of us has added to it. There is no end to evil men in this world, but there are still those who fight for those who can’t fight for themselv
es. By the time we landed, we learned that my contact in Russia, along with other men Hadi and Pops arranged, got into Russia and brought both Sophia and her little girl out. She’ll be given a new identity and placed in a location where she can start over. We are working on getting the others out as well.”
When Zoya burst into sobs, he was a bit startled. “Shh, did you hear me? Honey, I said Sophia is safe.”
“I kn… know… but-but I was so aw… awful. I-I said hor… horrible thi… things…”
She was barely able to speak but he didn’t need to hear the words to recognize the pain. “Shh, it’s going to be all right.”
“No-no it’s not…” Gulping for air, choking as she struggled to say what she needed, her entire body was shaking.
Setting his forehead against hers, he remembered helping her calm before. “Zoya, breathe with me. Don’t think, don’t do anything except concentrate on me. Inhale. Exhale. Again, in… out.” He continued to give softly spoken instructions until she was no longer struggling. “Better?”
“Yes… no…”
“Babe, that’s not exactly an answer.”
“Yes, I feel better in that I don’t feel like I’m about to pass out, but no, I still feel awful inside. I treated you like shit. I accused you of things when all you were doing was your job. But-but most of all, I’ve made you doubt yourself. I’ve heard you start to say the word ‘promise’ and yet you don’t finish it. You change it to something else. You didn’t break your promise… I did. I promised to trust you and the first time you needed me to, I failed.”
“Oh, Zoya, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want to use a word that…”
“That I threw into your face,” she said, not allowing him to sugarcoat it. “I… I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
Stryder wanted to assure her that she hadn’t failed and yet all he had to do was look into her eyes to know that his words would not penetrate the guilt she felt. She looked so utterly… Lifting her, he moved her off his lap and when she whimpered, he said, “It’s okay, I just can’t get my wallet.”
Jumping off the table, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Withdrawing a folded piece of paper, he looked to where she was kneeling, her eyes on him.
“You asked me why I chose you that night, do you remember?” She nodded and he began to unfold the paper. “I knew the moment I looked into your eyes. I knew before I ever got on that plane to Russia.” Glancing down at the photo, the lights from the stable allowing him to confirm what he’d seen only moments before, he said, “The instant your photo appeared on the monitor, I knew I had to save you.” He handed her the paper and though she appeared a little startled to see her image, she looked back at him without speaking, clearly not understanding.
“You had the same look I saw in my mother’s eyes and knew that this time, I couldn’t fail. Zoya, I knew you belonged to me and I promised myself that once I had you in my arms, I’d do whatever it took to keep from seeing that hopelessness ever again. I love you. God, I love you so much it hurts.”
“I love you, too.”
He’d told her his story, not seeking her forgiveness for the things he’d done. He’d made those choices and would live with them. Yet, those words filled his heart and he felt a sense of utter peace that he’d never known. Reaching for her, he pulled her from the table and into his arms, where she belonged. She clung to him, her lips soft against his as they kissed. When he scooped her off her feet, cradling her in his arms, his intentions were to take her to bed and kiss every inch of her body. However, it became clear that she had other plans.
“Adira told me that it is the submissive who has the power.”
“Oh, she did, did she?”
“Yes, is it true?” Stryder nodded and she gave him a soft smile. “In that case, and only this once, may I ask a favor?” He nodded again. “Will you take me to the playroom? Though I don’t mean to play. I-I need you to spank me until I don’t feel so guilty.”
“On one condition; after I blister your ass, you let me love you until neither one of us can move.” This time it was Zoya who nodded and he grinned. “I need to hear your answer. Do you accept my condition?”
“Yes, Sir, with my whole heart, and might I suggest you walk a little faster?”
Stryder’s laugh echoed in the night, knowing that he’d have to work with her so she understood the proper hierarchy in a Dominant/submissive dynamic. But there would be time enough for that. Hopefully a lifetime. For now, he was more than willing to take her suggestion.
Chapter 20
Zoya gasped the moment he carried her into the playroom and flipped on the lights. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined what she was seeing. It wasn’t the fact that the room had stone walls or that stalactites dropped from the ceiling to meet stalagmites rising from the floor; she had seen the same in the other rooms within the cavern system. What took her breath away and had her heart pounding were the manmade items. Though she recognized the bed, some chairs, and a few benches as being furniture that wouldn’t be out of place in a person’s bedroom, some of the apparatus she had no clue as to their purpose. And the wall… oh God, it was covered in things that had the skin of her ass crawling. Paddles of every shape and size hung from hooks, racks held lengths of wood… canes, but her eyes locked onto a grouping of hooks from which various lengths of leather hung. Memory of a whip cracking in the air to land against her bare flesh bloomed in her mind and a gush of moisture filled her panties. Unlike the night of the auction, she had no desire to flee, only the need to experience everything this man could teach her. If that made her weird, then so be it.
“Zoya?”
“Hmmm?”
“Babe, you need to listen to me,” Stryder said, his tone sounding far more amused than she thought it should be since she was going to be punished. That had her snapping her attention from the wall to concentrate on him. Looking up, she saw him grinning.
“Oh, um, sorry, Sir. I’m just a little…”
“Hey, you don’t need to be frightened. Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want—”
“Oh no, I mean…” Knowing that she needed to be absolutely clear, well, as clear as her racing mind could be, she took a deep breath. “I’m not scared, Sir. I’m a bit overwhelmed but only because I want to try everything but don’t know where to start.”
His deep laugh had her flushing and giggling. “Babe, you are amazing and I promise, you’ll have a chance to experience everything you desire, but for now, we’re going to start with the spanking you requested.”
“Okay. Are you going to use one of those?” She used her hand to sweep in the air, indicating the choices mounted on the wall.
Stryder chuckled again and shook his head. “We’ll see, but first, let’s go over a few standard rules of conduct, shall we?” With her nod, he moved away from the wall and set her on her feet by the door. “While I assure you that there will be a great deal of playing done here, this room is referred to as the dungeon.”
Zoya could easily understand that dungeon was truly the only word to describe what she was seeing. Recalling reading a history book that described instruments of torture from eons past, she remembered that unlike most of her friends, who had been horrified, she’d been fascinated. Not at the text that told of the torture of innocents all in the name of some religious cause, but at the illustrations accompanying the text. Her eyes slid to one corner that was dominated by a huge wooden X and another rush of moisture filled her sex. God, forget weird, Stryder was going to think she was some sort of deviant when he…
“Ow!” She reached back to rub at the stinging spot and looked up to see Stryder shaking his head.
“Have you heard a single word I’ve been saying?”
“Um… yes.”
“Really? Hmm, then do you care to explain why you aren’t already naked and bringing me the cuffs, spreader bar, nipple clamps and butt plug I’ve requested?”
When had the r
oom become so hot? She could feel the heat consuming her as her mind reeled, repeating the words he’d just uttered. Reaching for the hem of her dress, she had pulled it halfway up when suddenly she froze. “What? Nipple clamps… a bu… butt plug? I-I…”
He laughed and reached for her arms, tugging her dress from her fingers to allow it to fall into place.
“Finally, something that got your attention,” he said with a chuckle. “Tell me, what’s the last thing you really heard me say?”
“You said this is the dungeon?”
“Wow, that was several minutes ago. Where were you?”
She couldn’t stop the smile or the giggle as she shrugged and turned to point to the corner. “Sorry, the word dungeon had me thinking of history and then, well…”
“All right, let’s do this another way.” Stryder went to the wall where he’d flipped on the lights and opened a panel. Within moments, the lighting in the room changed, corners darkened, and equipment became nothing more than shadows. Even the wall of implements was no longer truly visible though she stood only feet away from it. The only area remaining illuminated was a grouping of chairs. Stryder returned and took her hand, leading her across the room. He took a seat in a large chair with no arms, and opening his legs, he pulled her to stand between them.
“We’ll start again and this time, young lady, lack of attention to your Dominant will earn you additional strokes on your ass. Understood?”