Reckless Hearts Series, Book 1

by Heather Van Fleet

  One hand stayed on my waist while he raised the other as though to touch my face. I flinched, not fearing his touch, but fearing the way it would make me feel, and he dropped it away at the last minute.

  Now that I was upright, he took a step back. “Are you okay?” Eyes fierce, he studied me, ingraining me in his mind, it seemed.

  I shook myself from the trance he’d pulled me into and opened my mouth to speak. But it was a failed attempt because the sudden rush of blood flow that pushed against my temples made my knees buckle.

  “Addie,” Collin murmured, wrapping his arm around my waist again.

  I jerked my chin up, staring at his mouth first, then his tongue as it slipped out to wet his lips. They parted, and I found myself moving closer, my body suddenly not its own. Regardless of the people crowding around us, regardless of the pain smashing the inside of my skull, and regardless of the fact that I’d just lost my job, I couldn’t help but feel like I was right where I should be. The heat of his chest burrowing into me brought safety and warmth—a protection I’d never felt in another man’s arms. Even though I should have been raging mad, I couldn’t help but lose a little piece of myself to Collin Montgomery. And for one single, solitary moment, he made me feel like I was the most precious thing in the world to him.

  But then a throat cleared somewhere to my right and I looked up, meeting Collin’s heated stare. Did he feel it too? “Your eye…” This time he did reach up, the touch of his calloused finger gentle as he rubbed it over what I knew would already be a bruise.

  “I’m okay.” Not really, but even with my life falling apart around me again, one touch from this unnerving man made me feel as though I could take on anything.

  I’ve never been the type of woman to feel an instant connection to people—mainly because my parents didn’t teach me how to be soft and loved growing up. Being in their world meant strict rules and no heart to soften the blow that came with life’s crap. I don’t think they meant to do it on purpose, but that’s the way it was with them. Dad was closed off from the world, while Mom was disconnected from me as a mother, expecting me to grow up as an uncoddled woman.

  “Jesus, Short Stuff. That’s one hell of a shiner you’ve got there.”

  Collin didn’t let me go. If anything, his grip tightened at Max’s words. “I’ll survive.” I smiled at Max, feeling unexpected tears sting my eyes. As if he knew about the war battling inside me, Collin pulled me even closer, the hands I’d fantasized about since the night I met him melded into my waist.

  My heart skipped, and my chest grew tight. I wanted to breathe but couldn’t—which meant I needed him to leave. “You have to go. I just got fired, and it’s your fault.”

  “That’s fucked up.” He sneered. “I’ll talk to your boss, I’ll—”

  “Good-bye, Collin.” I looked at the door, willing him to walk out of it and refusing to meet his stare. His offer to make nice with Boss Lady was…sweet, but I knew she was too stubborn to back down now.

  Turning around, I could feel his eyes like fire on my back. But because he didn’t need to see me break down, I refused to stop and continued toward the break room to grab my stuff.

  The thump of shoes sounded behind me, followed by the jingling bells above the front door. In turn, my stomach dropped at the noise and my heart thundered harder than it had just seconds before.

  It should’ve been a relief knowing he’d left. Yet I couldn’t fight the sense of disappointment that lingered inside me. I didn’t have time to think about what that meant though, not when I had bigger issues.

  Once again, I was jobless.

  I rummaged through my purse to find my keys. The sudden urge to blubber created knots in my throat.

  “Addison?” Samantha stood in the hall just outside of the breakroom as I left.

  With my purse slung over my shoulder, I turned to say a quick good-bye. Even though I barely knew the girl, I still felt an odd sort of kinship with her.

  Sympathy flashed through her eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Fine.” But my equilibrium said otherwise.

  She cleared her throat and shuffled her feet against the old tile. I knew little about this woman other than that she was in college and liked guys. But right then and there, I knew something was on her mind. “So…do you know that guy Collin well?”

  And there it was.

  “Yes.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “I mean, no. Not really.”

  “Um, so you two aren’t, you know…together?”

  I shook my head, too quickly to be believable. “Him and me? Hell no. Nope, nope, nope. Not in a million and a half years.”

  But maybe two million? Ugh.

  Her eyebrows rose. I tried smiling to make up for my weirdness, but the pinching in my temples kept getting worse, so my attempt was meager.

  She bit down on her lip and glanced back over her shoulder. “Because I kind of just asked him out.” She twirled a lock of her hair. “I just, like, wanted to make sure you two weren’t…”

  I was standing there on the verge of tears—jobless, with a bruised eye—and she wanted to talk men with me? God, I was too damn old for this—although at twenty-six, by most standards, I was supposed to be in my prime.

  But still…

  My lips parted to tell her what I knew she wanted to hear—that Number Six and I were never together, and I didn’t want anything to do with him. But even thinking she was going to go after what I never would have—never wanted, right?—irritated me to no end.

  “We used to hook up on occasion.”

  “Um, wow. You?” Her nose scrunched up and I bristled, my nails digging into my palms.

  What in the hell did that mean?

  “Yep.” Wow. Talk about comebacks.

  And what was so wrong with the idea of me and him being together in the first place? I was a good-looking woman—albeit a little short and with a few extra curves here and there. So what if Collin was a drop-dead gorgeous man with piercing eyes and lips a girl would kill to have? I could totally have him—if I didn’t like and respect myself so much.

  “Well…” She chewed on her bottom lip some more, probably wanting to ask me if she could hook up with him now. Which was a big, fat N-O, mainly because I wanted to ruin his life like he was ruining mine.

  If evil was a contagious disease, then I suddenly seemed to have contracted the worst case of it.

  “Yeah, you don’t want him, trust me.”

  “Why’s that?” Her blue eyes were bright as she batted them at me. She was so innocent. So not the right person for Collin—not that I was or anything.

  Good God. I was going to go straight to hell for this, wasn’t I?

  “He can’t exactly, you know…perform.”

  “Really?” She scratched at the side of her head, confusion pulling her brows together.

  I nodded. “He said it was his disease. Something about—”

  “Disease?” She squealed, shuddering. Deep inside, I was sure all her future orgasms were crumbling into tiny, withering dreams at the thought. The worst part of it all was that I had nothing against her.

  But I did have something against him.

  “Yeah, real shame too.”

  “Eww, I will pass on that then. Thank you for the warning.”

  For a moment, I almost felt bad for lying, especially when I thought back to the way his finger had stroked the bruise by my eye and the softness I’d seen in his normally hard gaze. It was the warm, protective Collin I’d seen with Chloe—the one I couldn’t resist, the one making me twisted up inside. Eventually Samantha left, waving at me from over her shoulder with promises of meeting up soon.

  I headed toward the back alley, burying all thoughts of Collin. I had to focus on what was most important: my need to figure out my life’s woes once and for all.

  Chapter 15


  Collin

  The park was quiet today—a good place to just sit and think, push my girl in her swing, and hang with my guys. We’d done this every Wednesday morning for months.

  Chloe squealed as Max shoved her black bucket-like swing. Gavin sat on a bench, coffee in hand, looking down at his newspaper. And while normally I’d have been tickling Chloe’s feet or sitting in the swing next to her, I couldn’t find it in me to do anything but stand there, stare at the clouds, and think about dark eyes and pink lips.

  “You thinking about panties over there, big guy?”

  I locked eyes with Max. The smug smile on his face was wide as he pulled Chloe out of her swing.

  “What’re you talking about?” I took a step forward, tugging Chloe into my arms. She bounced and giggled, slapping my neck in excitement with her knuckles.

  “You heard me.” He laughed. “I see it, man. You still can’t get that girl out of your mind.” He shook his head, disbelief something fierce in his eyes. “She’s good, man. Sweet, smart…hot as absolute hell too. I mean, I know you like her, so what’s holding you back?”

  “He’s scared,” Gavin grumbled, still hiding behind his newspaper.

  “The only thing I’m scared of is not being there enough for my girl. Chicks are a dime a dozen, and this girl”—I pressed my lips against Chloe’s temple and shut my eyes, holding her against me—“will only be little once. No time to waste on relationships that may or may not work out in the end.”

  “Who said anything about relationships?” Max sat down in the sandbox, scooping up some sand with a bucket he’d found. Chloe watched, smiling, as he poured it out.

  “Not gonna get involved with a girl when I don’t have time.”

  “You were never supposed to get involved with her in the first place, remember?” Gavin dropped his paper against his knees. His jaw clenched. “She was supposed to watch out for your kid, be the nanny. That was it.”

  Yeah, I knew he was right—he always was. And no matter how many old ladies I had in our place interviewing for the position, I still couldn’t find someone that equaled Addison. Didn’t help that I couldn’t get the image of her in the rocking chair, holding my sick girl, out of my head.

  “See? She’s perfect, man.” Max sighed, taking off his shoes and socks. “No denying it.”

  “What the hell are you doing?” Gavin stood from the bench and moved to stand beside us.

  “Feels good. Like a trip to the spa. You guys should try it out.” Max shrugged, curling his toes into the sand.

  “You know how many cats probably come here and use that box as a pisser?” I laughed. Gavin did too.

  Uncaring, Max dug his feet deeper into the sand, as if to prove a point. Chloe giggled, reaching for him. “What do you care? It’s my feet. If something feels good, I’m gonna do it.”

  Chloe screeched, slapping my mouth, as if to say Let them talk, Dad.

  “If shit feels good, then you’ve got to analyze the pros and cons of going through with it.” That was Gavin, always analyzing everything.

  “Nah, jump on it. Make said shit happen. Life’s too damn short to worry about things like cat piss.” Max kicked the sand up with his toes. Chloe squealed and clapped in turn.

  “But you could get a disease,” Gav continued to argue. “Get sick and die before you get to do the things you want to do in life.”

  Max shrugged, making weird-ass faces, which made Chloe laugh.

  “You guys done psychoanalyzing the sandbox?” I asked, tossing Chloe up and down in the air. Her giggles were loud and infectious. She was prettier than the lake sitting in front of us and warmer than the sun shining above.

  “You done being an idiot?” I turned toward Gavin, finding his angry eyes on me. In his hands sat a ringing cell phone, and on the screen was a name.

  Her name.

  “Why the hell do you have her number on your phone?” My shoulders tensed.

  Max stood, probably sensing my tension. When he reached for Chloe, I handed her to him, no questions asked.

  One half of Gavin’s mouth lifted into an asshat smile. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

  My throat went dry, my voice cracking. “Yeah, I would. Gonna tell me?” I moved closer, folding my arms over my chest. The phone kept ringing, and my palms itched to grab the thing and toss it into the water.

  I swear to God, if he answered, I’d kick his ass.

  If he didn’t, I’d probably still kick his ass.

  Head tipped to the side, Gavin slid his hand over the ignore button. My jaw clenched as he pocketed the phone. “What happened with you two, by the way?”

  I hadn’t told either him or Max about that night. The damn door that’d forever haunt me. Didn’t need them ragging on me about things I couldn’t control.

  Who was I kidding? In the deepest part of my mind, I’d known exactly what I was doing when I kissed her. When I spread her legs and lifted her skirt so she could rub herself all over my cock. Seeing her all hot and bothered was hotter than anything else I’d experienced in my life, but I regretted, more than anything, the way I’d treated her afterward.

  “Did you fuck her?”

  Lips pulled back into a snarl, I growled at Gavin. “No. Haven’t had sex in over a year.”

  Of course I could’ve lied to Gavin, staked a claim that wasn’t even meant to happen. But I didn’t want them to know what had happened between Addie and me. It was my personal fantasy, and I didn’t want to share it with anyone, especially not those two.

  “I call bullshit.” Gavin jabbed his finger into my chest.

  “Me too.” Max laughed, bouncing Chloe on one of his knees while packing sand into a bucket with his free hand.

  “Amy was the last one. Haven’t had the time to be a dad and nail women. You guys know that.”

  Gavin laughed. “You’ve been an ass since the night you interviewed her, Colly. Snapping at everyone and anyone who so much as breathes a word about her.”

  “Don’t forget fighting off assholes to protect said girl.”

  Ignoring Gavin’s pressing stare, I focused on Max. “You would’ve done the same thing.”

  “Fuck yeah, I would’ve.” He settled Chloe in between his knees, handing her a shovel. When she tried to put it in her mouth, Max grunted out a no and tossed it over his shoulder. “You just beat me to it.”

  “You guys have something else to say, then just say it.” I threw my hands up in the air before crossing my arms over my chest.

  Slowly, Gavin pulled out his phone, handing it over. “Call the girl. You know as well as Max and I do that she’s the reason you’re all messed up right now.”

  “No.” I frowned. “I’m fine.”

  “The hell you are,” Max grumbled, brushing sand off his hands.

  “If you don’t call her, I will,” Gavin added. “You said so yourself: Chloe needs a female around the house, and since you can’t seem to pick someone from that old-maid nanny service, the two of us will hire her.”

  I stared down at the frosty grass, thinking of a million excuses for why I couldn’t call her.

  What if Amy wouldn’t have liked her?

  What if she screws up?

  What if she leaves and it breaks Chloe’s heart?

  What if she leaves and breaks mine?

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. Nope. Wouldn’t go there. Not again. Maybe never again. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “She’s perfect.” Gavin’s words were soft, but I heard them all the same. And as I watched him walk back to the park bench to grab his coffee, I realized what was really going on. My best friend—the one who’d sworn off dating because it’d mean inevitable change—had a thing for Addison.

  Too stunned to call him out on his shit, I barely registered his phone ringing in my palm. But the second I looked down and saw her name flash
across his screen again, I knew how damn right he was.

  The reason I hadn’t picked a nanny for Chloe yet was because I’d already made up my mind. And she was perfect in every way. I just needed to remember who exactly she was perfect for.

  “You going to get that?” I looked at Max, finding a smile on his face.

  Before I could nod, I slipped my finger over the answer button and brought the phone to my ear, watching as Chloe tossed a handful of sand behind her and into Max’s face.

  Screw my pride—my dick and heart too. This was one sacrifice I should never have been afraid of. Not when it was for Chloe, the girl I’d do anything for.

  * * *

  Addison

  I was sitting on my couch, surrounded by two piles of unfolded laundry, when I decided to give Gavin a call. I’d been trying to contact him off and on all morning. He told me he had a job lined up for me if I wanted it, only this time he swore it had nothing to do with Collin. But I’d been unable to get hold of him.

  Ever since the night he’d called me when Chloe was sick, Gavin and I had become pretty decent friends. He’d call me at random, asking me about things having to do with Chloe when Collin wasn’t around and he needed advice. And since I wasn’t necessarily okay with him watching her alone, especially knowing how he’d been that night, I offered my help in any way he needed it.

  He answered on the third ring. “Hey, Gav. You busy?”

  “Not Gav.”

  My face warmed at the sound of Collin’s voice.

  “You there?” he asked.

  “Um, yes. I need to speak with Gavin, please.” Keep breathing, keep calm. You’ve got this.

  “But I need to talk to you first.”

  I clenched my teeth. “May I talk to him, please?”

  “Nope.”

  I threw my head back against the couch and groaned. “Why not?” If he was going to be short with his answers, I would be short with my questions.

  “Need to talk to you about something first. Told you that.”