Peering up at her, I blinked, pulled back, and said, “The name’s Collin, sweetheart.”
Then I gave her exactly what she wanted, latching my lips onto the tiny, wet bud that had her screaming my name instead.
Over and over, I sucked and licked, holding her legs apart by the knees. She bucked up against my mouth, fighting and more than likely losing against the oncoming explosion inside her. Head tipped back, long hair hanging down, she was a sexual goddess bringing me to my knees in all ways.
I licked from the bottom to the top, loving how she tasted, how warm she was. Thinking of how good it’d feel to someday be buried inside her.
“Collin, please, I’m gonna…”
My stomach tightened. Just hearing her little noises made me wanna come.
Jesus, did I want this woman.
She gasped, going stiff, her hand in my hair, whimpering her soft words of surrender. But I wasn’t gonna stop ’til she pushed me away, couldn’t let this moment end, because if I did, I’d want more, and I’d want it now.
When she finally pushed her knees together, forcing my hands back, I looked up at her face and saw a light in her eyes. Something that wasn’t there before. Something close to adoration and peace. And I couldn’t help but wonder if she saw the same thing in my gaze. Because I did adore this woman. Not just her looks and the sounds she made when she came. But the way she was as a whole. A good person who loved my daughter, who loved my friends.
Question was though: Was it enough to feel this way?
Chapter 23
Addison
I cringed as I watched the twenty-plus bodies out on the green field smash against one another. Their moves were fluid and fast, but rough at the same time. Rugby wasn’t something I was all too keen on watching, especially when I could see how dangerous it was from the sidelines. But it was funny how no one around me seemed to mind it, including Lia, who sat beside me, screaming her brother’s name.
“You see, the games are ten times more vicious than the practices, but that’s the fun of it.” She jabbed her finger in the air after Collin scored what was called a “try.”
Chloe sat on the blanket in between us, flipping through her books and squealing whenever she saw the dog pictures. I think I liked her baby world much more than this one.
“I don’t see the fun in this.” I frowned as a grunt sounded from the middle of their huge, mashed-together circle.
Leaning back on her hands with her legs stretched in front of her, Lia sighed and said, “I don’t really think it’s about the game as much as the bonding itself. Colly needs an outlet, ya know? Besides Chloe, Max and Gavin are his life.”
I didn’t know that. But I’d be happy to try to understand it. I found myself wanting to know everything about Collin, even the little details.
“Tell me how the three of them got to where they are now. Because whenever they’re together in the house, it’s like I’m sidelined and watching an X-rated version of Full House with all of their bro hugs and penis talk.”
“If there’s one thing I don’t miss, it’s their penis talk.” Lia snickered, rolling over onto her stomach.
“Max is the worst of all of them. He’s like a junkie when it comes to sex.”
Lia frowned. “This I know.” I didn’t miss her sarcasm one bit. “The guy’s been that way since the first time I met him a few years back. But he’s also a total southern boy with all the charm, and the devoted mama to go along with it.”
“And Gavin?”
“He’s a different story altogether. Both of his parents died when he was really young, and he got flung from foster home to foster home for several years. He did earn a scholarship for his smarts, I guess, but that’s about all I know.”
As if he knew we were talking about him, Gavin looked our way from the middle of the field and waved shyly, a happy, unfamiliar grin on his face. The look betrayed his normally grumpy moods, but with Gavin, nothing was a shock anymore. If anything, he and Collin seemed to be bred from the same team of sperm, only Gavin was more about control while Collin seemed to lose his control easier.
“Anyway, they all wound up at the same boot camp, and the three of them somehow got lucky enough to stay together when they were shipped out.”
“And Collin? I mean, he told me why he enlisted. But if he was really and truly in love with Chloe’s mom, I don’t understand what happened.”
“Not my story to tell.” She made a motion over her lips, zipping them.
When I didn’t say anything else, Lia sat up and moved to sit next to me again.
“Look, my brother’s been through a lot. More than any person should have to go through. But the one thing he doesn’t do is keep secrets.” She leaned over and kissed the top of Chloe’s head. Chloe yawned, obviously needing her afternoon nap.
“He’s told me about Amy, about what happened between them.”
“See? He wouldn’t share something like that if he didn’t intend to keep you around for a while.” Her lips curled up on one side, a teasing expression that most definitely ran in the family.
“Well, I love Chloe, so I do plan on being around for as long as possible. I know this isn’t, like, a forever job of course, but it’ll help me get back on my feet.”
“Honey”—she tsked—“I hate to break it to you, but my brother doesn’t look at you like an employee.” My face heated as I turned to find him out on the field. Fast and hard he ran, tossing the ball behind him to someone else. God, he was gorgeous. Long, muscled legs, black hair, perfect face… “He keeps you around because he wants you, wants you—if you get my drift.”
“Oh God.” I lowered my face into my hands, forever embarrassed.
She laughed and stood. “Be patient with him though. And please don’t…lead him on, okay?” Her voice grew lower, more serious.
I uncovered my face and squinted against the sun as I stared up at her and Chloe, now in her arms. “It’s not him I’m worried about.” In a moment—a single blink of an eye—Collin could easily crush me if he wanted to.
“No doubt you’re scared. And if I were you, I’d be too.” A sad looked passed through her eyes.
“Not very reassuring.”
“Not meant to be.” She tossed Chloe up into the air. “My brother harbors a lot of guilt over what happened with this beautiful girl’s mama. Thinks he owes her a life of celibacy or something, though I don’t think he ever truly loved her like a man should love a woman.”
I coughed, trying to keep my game face on. So…maybe this supposed celibacy only counted toward his own orgasms then?
After a while, both of us grew quiet, the unspoken words hanging in the air like a deep, thick fog. I didn’t want to travel through it, not when everything I was feeling was so fresh and real and amazing. Yet at the same time, I knew it was an inevitable journey I’d be forced to take if I really and truly felt something for Collin.
“Are you going to the party tonight?”
“Party?”
Lia nodded, now rocking Chloe gently back and forth in her arms. Today’s outfit consisted of a black sweater with holey sleeves and a hole for her thumb at the base of each one. Her pants were plaid, red and black, and the epitome of schoolgirl rock chic. She looked sexy and sophisticated, not to mention edgy. My envy level grew every time I saw her, yet I’d never have the guts to wear half the stuff she did.
“Yup. It’s the season-end party. Other than the big tournament in Chicago coming up, today was their last game until the spring.”
“I’m guessing Collin will ask me to watch Chloe. I mean, he hasn’t mentioned me picking up any extra hours, but as far as I know, he doesn’t have anyone to babysit, so I figure if he’s got a party to go to, he’ll need a sitter.” I bit down on my lower lip before continuing. “But what do I know? I mean, I don’t know what goes on in his head. And besides, I need to stay home
and do some cleaning, maybe catch up on my DVR recordings, and then—”
“Christ, honey. You talk a mile a minute, and I have no damn clue what you’re saying.”
“Um…” My lips flattened into a hard line, and I scratched my neck.
“Anyway, you don’t have to worry about babysitting tonight. Our parents are back in town visiting. They’ve already claimed Beaner duty for the night and have her staying with them at their house.” She nudged me with her knee, a sly grin on her face as she said, “So…I’ll swing by your house and pick you up. Got this sexy outfit for you to wear. My boobs aren’t nearly the size to fill it out like yours, so no doubt you’ll look like a rock star in it.”
Chin jerked back, I stared up at her, watching as she snuggled now-sleeping Chloe against her chest. The girl was like clockwork when it came to taking naps.
“Did you not just hear what I said?” I lowered my voice, not wanting to wake the baby, but several loud hoorahs sounded out in the field, each of them not touching her little ears. Guess she’d had to learn to sleep like a rock living with three men.
“I heard you.”
“And what part did you not understand?”
“I understood it all, and I still don’t care.” She winked. “You’re going with me to this party.”
With tender eyes and her mouth shaped in a tiny O, Lia settled Chloe into her stroller with the sort of ease normally only a mother could attain. Truly, the girl had a gift with kids, making her a hard act to follow—even for someone with my experience.
Standing too, I stretched my hands upward, moving side to side.
Lia motioned her head toward the field. “If he wants you, he’ll get you, ya know. And once he’s got you, he’ll never want to let you go.”
“Huh?”
“Food for thought.” She smiled widely.
My throat grew tight. As much as I wanted to play dumb and pretend I didn’t know what she meant, I knew I couldn’t. Collin was like a hurricane. When he hit, it was a take-no-prisoners, all-in sort of thing. I wasn’t ready to hash out the details when it came to him and me, mainly because this thing between us was still so new—not even something we could put a label on. But someday, when the time came, I was determined to give what I could.
My only hope was that I could be enough.
Chapter 24
Collin
“You guys realize this is the first November we’ve spent together not in a desert?”
Max’s eyes were half-closed as he scanned the dark yard around the fire pit. The guy had been drinking since three, and now he was full-on shit-faced.
Gavin and I weren’t as bad off as he was, just warmed enough to take the edge off the fact that it was only forty-some degrees outside.
“This is the first time we’ve seen real autumn leaves in at least a year.” Gavin took a sip of his whiskey. “I feel like doing one of those rubbings with a crayon and paper. Like a kid.” He picked a leaf up off the ground, twirling it around by the stem.
Max shoved him with his elbow. “Only rubbing you need is over your cock by the sexy-looking twin sisters we just saw walking by.” On cue, two ladies, both dressed in skintight jeans, crossed our path. Max was damn near drooling as he watched them wave and giggle, while Gavin just nodded his appreciation, smiling over the top of his cup. My two brothers couldn’t have been more different.
Part of me was excited to be out with my guys tonight. Chloe was with my parents, and I was free from dad duties for the first time in months. Fresh air, good drinks, good friends, and one hell of a good time. The only thing that would make this better was if Addie were here with me—Addie who’d been ignoring my calls all night.
“Shots! Let’s do ’em. Time to celebrate. Get drunk.” Max’s gaze followed the twin ladies as they moved our way. “Fuck the shots. I’ve got something much better to do.”
Max was off. Thinking Gavin wasn’t far behind, I turned to him, taking a sip of my Bud. “Not interested?”
He stared down at the fire, face blank. “Nah. Not in the mood.” He cleared this throat and kicked some loose brush into the fire. It sparked up, flicking pieces of ash into the sky. “Your parents are back in town for the weekend, then? How are they?”
I nodded, sitting down in a nearby lawn chair. “They’re good. Came to celebrate Thanksgiving with us a week early. Mom’s making dinner for us all tomorrow.”
Gavin grunted. Guy was about as big on conversation as I was.
“How’s work?” I asked.
“It’s work.” He took a longer drink, draining his cup. “How’s Addison? Saw her at the game today.” He stared down at me, accusation heavy in his eyes.
I flinched. Was that what his issue was? “She’s great, Gav.” I sucked in a deep breath, ready to stake a claim I wasn’t even sure I had a right to.
After what had happened between us in the bathroom the day before, too many things had been left unsaid, mainly because Chloe had woken up and distracted us both. I could tell Addison wanted to talk about things, but I wasn’t ready—at least not then. Just hoped she could be patient with me.
“Told you she’s a catch,” he grumbled, slouching down next to me.
Hell yeah she was. “Been thinking about things with her. Pursuing something—”
“Gotta piss.” Throwing his cup in the fire, Gavin stood.
“The hell?” I whispered as I watched him go. Pissed he’d run off, I followed him. “Gavin!”
He didn’t look back at me, just kept going, too chickenshit to face me for some reason.
I jumped in front of him. “You got a problem?”
He froze, hands at his sides and elbows locked. Still didn’t say squat though, just glared at me like I’d sprouted a horn.
“Gonna tell me what that was all about?” I pushed.
His shoulders tensed, along with his jaw, but his gaze was locked on something behind me.
Just when I didn’t think I’d gotten through to him, he finally opened his mouth. “She’s good. Sweet as hell, kind, doesn’t need to be treated like trash. If all you want is a good fuck, then I suggest you find someone else to do it with.”
Anger radiated through my body, making my hands shake. The hell was he trying to say here? What gave him the right to be Addie’s new guardian? He wasn’t her brother, wasn’t her father either. Just a guy who’d decided she wasn’t the bad distraction he’d once assumed her to be.
But I couldn’t tell him what I thought of his sudden need to protect this girl from me, of all people, because Gav wasn’t who he used to be. He’d grown edgier, angrier. I knew I had to tread carefully with my words—tiptoe like I did whenever Chloe took naps.
“You think that’s what I’m going to do with her?”
“Come on, Colly. You’re still mourning Chloe’s mother.” His eyes flashed as they met mine again. “Who’s to say you can handle getting involved with another woman?”
“I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “But, man, Gav, for the first time in almost ten months, I wanna go with my gut. Wanna feel shit again that won’t have me sinking into a hole I can’t unbury myself from.” I let my hands fall to my sides. “But if you have some sort of problem with her and me together, then I need you to tell me now so we can figure shit out before I get in any deeper than I already am.”
He jerked his head back. “Are you in deep already?”
Not even thinking twice about my answer, I whispered the only truth I knew. “Can’t help it. She just…got under my skin.”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “She does that.” He sighed, looking toward the fire, a faraway look in his eyes.
“Now, answer my question, because I gotta know. You got a thing for her?”
Quick to answer, he whispered, “No. I kind of thought I did at first, but it’s more that she remi
nds me of someone I once cared about.”
Gavin had secrets, bigger than Max’s and mine combined. Unlike Max though, he’d never offered them up. Just locked them all away tight. One day I feared he’d break, but it wasn’t my place to be his therapist. If he wanted help, all he had to do was ask us for it. I just hoped he would.
“Truth is, I’m more worried about you than anything else.” He looked at me again and stuck his hands into his jean pockets. “You ready for this? Especially with a girl like her?”
“What do you mean a girl like her?”
“Oh, come on, man.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s an all-or-nothing woman who loves your kid and is probably halfway in love with you already.”
I took a step back, face pinched. “It isn’t like that.” And love? Where the hell did that come from?
“Then what is it? What do you want with her?”
I glared at him. “What do you care what I want?”
“Don’t play that card, Colly. I was there the night you found out about Amy. I saw what losing her did to you too. And according to everything you’ve ever told us, you didn’t really even love the girl. Addison, on the other hand, is the type of girl you bring home to your mom. The type of girl you fall in love with. What’re you going to do if she decides she wants more than what you can give her?”
“Go to hell.” I took a step forward and shoved him. Fucking did love Amy. How could I not love the mother of my baby?
Gavin didn’t budge, just laughed and jabbed a finger in my face. “I’ve already gone there. Don’t need an invitation back.”
My head hurt. All this stress over worrying about Addie all night, seeing my parents and listening to them nag on me about Chloe needing this and that, and now dealing with Gavin and his preachy sermons about shit he had no right to talk about…
What I needed was more beer.
Ready to forget, I went straight for the keg.
“Who’s running now?”
I flipped Gavin the finger from over my shoulder, too tired to listen to his knowing ass.
Reckless Hearts Series, Book 1 Page 16