by C. Lymari
Was I that brave?
No, I wasn’t that brave, at least not yet. I was used to having company—a friend or a posse. It was an adjustment being alone, but I wasn’t ready to show the world… not yet. I made my way to the restaurant, that was until I saw my brother Max’s black Mercedes 300SL. I turned back around. I wasn’t going to ruin his and Freya’s dinner with my presence. I gave one last look to my brother’s car, then walked in the opposite direction to Rocco’s.
Food was food.
As soon as I walked in, I wished I would have stayed home. The first thing I saw when I walked into the restaurant was Prescott, his wife Rachel, Mom, and Dad. They were eating dinner as a family—together.
What a joke of a family.
My chest constricted because even though they were shitty, they were still mine. Or used to be mine. I couldn’t do this. Not today. My family’s betrayal hurt worse than what Chad did to me. Turning on my heels, I pushed the door open and walked out.
My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I needed food. I really needed to buy groceries, but I didn’t know how to cook, so it wouldn’t have done me much good. I’d been surviving on cereal, ramen, and easy meals. But even though that was food, it wasn’t healthy food.
“No time like the present,” I told myself as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed out to the grocery store.
I mean, I liked food—how hard could it be?
The answer was overwhelmingly hard. I thought I could go small—you know, get easy meals and sandwich stuff. How was I supposed to know there were like ten types of ham?
“This is the last place I ever thought I’d see you.”
It took a few moments to realize that the person was talking to me. I was looking at all the deli meat, a little bewildered and wondering what I could possibly cook, and turned that same look to the person who was talking to me. Russell, or Rusty as his friends called him, stood next to me with a cart filled with diapers and food.
“You and me both,” I added dryly.
I didn’t know what to do. Jana and I had lost touch after she’d dumped Gary. It became awkward, and I knew now that it was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Abigail influence who my friends were. Or who I could date.
“You in line?” he asked, rubbing his face.
He didn’t look so good. He had dark circles under his eyes, which weren’t doing him any favors. I shook my head, taking a step back.
“You looking for the organic, non-gluten, low-fat shit? Because I doubt they carry that here.” Rusty eyed me warily.
“Ha-ha, smart-ass. I’m trying to see what I can cook,” I retorted.
I shouldn’t have been offended by his snort, because it was quite pathetic. I was a grown woman who’d never had to make a meal in her life. I should stick to cereal and pasta for now.
“Good luck with that,” he scoffed.
I knew I wasn’t his favorite person. I wasn’t very nice to his best friend and had stopped talking to his wife a little after they’d started dating.
“Take care, Russell. Tell Jana I said hello.” I turned around, grabbing cereal, eggs, and pasta. Pinterest DIY was about to become my best friend.
The next day, I was anxious to leave my house. I hadn’t slept much last night; the shouting and insults had kept me up. The only thing I could do was to make my room feel a little more like home, to try and keep out the memories that tried to pervade. My room was not going to feel like a part of me until I got it painted, and since the weather was not cooperating with me, this might take until late spring or summer. Wisconsin weather was no joke, especially on the heels of global warming. This was so unfair.
Was it necessary for me to go to the hardware store?
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
Yet here I was, with the excuse of looking for wall decals since I couldn’t paint. Oh, and I needed screws for my loose bathroom door. Truthfully, I needed a lot of things before turning my apartment into a home, but I was a frugal girl now. I started laughing at that sentiment. Even if I had to be frugal, I still didn’t look like it.
The weather was shitty. It was a mixture of snow and ice, so I wasn’t too surprised when I parked in front of Pete and Son’s and the place was empty.
Shit. Was it closed?
I waited in the car, wondering if I should go in or just go back home and cut my losses. Did I really need the screws?
No, more like I wanted to be screwed by the hunky owner who used XXL condoms. Oh boy, where did that come from? I threw my head back and closed my eyes at the same time someone knocked on my window. I jumped on my seat while my casted hand hit the steering wheel—hard.
“Ow!” I yelled. With the pain it brought, I didn’t hear my car door open.
“Don’t you lock your doors?”
The voice sounded angry, but I couldn’t really tell since my hand was in pain. Oh, shit, hopefully this didn’t affect my healing time. I wanted out of this ridiculous cast; it was an ugly reminder of my life.
“Here, let me take a look.” Big strong hands appeared in my line of vision, grabbing my tiny little hand that was engulfed in the awful cast, and touched it with delicacy.
I turned my head slightly to the left, and Jake was right there. He was hunched over, his frame too big and masculine for my little car.
“Juliet, let me look at it.” He eyed my hand, making sure it wasn’t hurt more than what it already was. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. I scare easily,” I said, meeting his eyes.
There was a kindness in his gaze that wasn’t there before. Well, it was there before the incident because every time after that, his blue eyes were icy—but not today. Today they were beautifully unguarded.
“That’s why you don’t like scary movies,” he replied, his lip twitching.
I felt my heart constricting at his answer because it was a reminder of our time together in art class. A reminder of when I’d let him down.
“Why are you here, Juliet?”
“I need—”
“I say bullshit.”
My eyes grew wide with his audacity to call me out on my shit. That wasn’t the polite thing to do. I mean, sure, I didn’t need to come here every other day, but he didn’t need to point that out. It was already humiliating enough coming here after what I’d done to him, yet I couldn’t stay away.
“You don’t know what I was here for, so don’t tell me that I’m lying. That’s not nice,” I snapped.
He smiled, and I felt my heart constrict again for different reasons this time. Happier reasons. “Tingling between my legs” reasons. Jeez, you’d think I was sex-deprived. You’d think I wanted to have sex again.
Snow was falling on his hair, melting and making it gleam. I was glad my hand was hurting or else I might run my fingers through his hair to remove the snowflakes that crowned his head.
“Lying isn’t nice either, Juliet, but then again, you’ve already admitted you lied to me once before. Who says you won’t do it again?”
“That was different, and it certainly doesn’t apply to this situation.” I was grasping at straws. I just hoped he wouldn’t push it.
Jake smirked at me. “Okay, tell me what are you here for? What was so important it couldn’t wait for the snowstorm to pass.”
“It’s not a snowstorm.”
“Baby, you’re the only person in the parking lot.”
My stomach dipped with warmth at his endearment. The way his voice went all warm and soft when he called me baby did funny things to me. Chad never called me anything other than Juliet, or sometimes honey, but it came out robotic. I arched my neck, trying to see past him, and the road was pretty empty. Main Street was usually busy with cars but not today. I felt my cheeks warm.
“I…”
“Come on, I’ll help you find what you’re looking for.” He took pity on me by offering me his hand.
I could just go back home right now before the storm got worse. I should tell him what I needed, and if he d
idn’t have it, well, I could be on my way and not get stuck in town while there was a snowstorm. I didn’t do either of those things though. I took the hand he offered and let him help me out of the car.
As soon as I stepped a foot on the snow-covered ground, my boot slipped, and I felt myself falling backward. When Jake put his arms around me, a current ran through me. His hands were on my waist, making sure I was steady.
“Careful.” His hot breath was delightful compared to the cold, icy wind.
“I forgot to put on my snow boots,” I lied.
The truth was, I was more concerned about fashion than comfort. High-heeled boots equaled sexy. Snow boots, not so sexy.
“Sky-high heels. I wouldn’t expect anything less from Juliet Dunnett.”
If I had a smile on my face, it would have died with those words. I knew he didn’t mean it to come out malicious, but my newly found conscience chose to take them that way. I was about to tell him that I was leaving, but he was still holding on to me, and I didn’t want to be the first to let go.
“If I let you go, will you fall?”
“I think I can manage,” I croaked.
As soon as he removed his hands from my body, I felt the cold temperature now that he wasn’t a barrier.
“Come on.” He started to walk away, but not before grabbing my hand.
I looked at our joined hands, and something in me warmed. With my hand in his, I felt safer than I had in years. I realized that I didn’t come because of some stupid screws and wall decals, or even to look at him. Okay, that last part was a lie. The storm was getting worse; it was pretty hard to look beyond a few feet. That was why I’d come here—because I was scared to be on my own. I didn’t want to be alone.
When we walked into the store, I half-expected for him to let go on my hand like it was on fire, but he just kept walking us all the way to the register.
“So, what is it that you want?” he asked, not making a big deal that he was holding my hand. I was so screwed if this was how he was going to help me.
“I need to get screwed,” I said, still dizzy about our grasped hands.
Oh, my God.
Someone, please kill me!
I removed my hand from his and brought it to my face in mortification. “I need screws for the hinges on my bathroom door. It’s kind of loose, and it bothers me. Every time I open the door, it creaks and jiggles, and I don’t need my door to screech and jiggle. And if you had some wall decals, that could help hold me over until I can paint, you know.” I kept blabbering and hoped he didn’t notice my blush.
“You’re cute when you get flustered.” There was a twinkle in his eyes, and then he bit his lip, and I hoped I didn’t moan aloud. Boy was that hot. “Juliet, I can definitely help you with the first one.”
“What!”
“The screws for your door. Personally, I don’t mind a little noise.” His eyes focused on my lips. “Or a little jiggling.”
I felt his hot gaze lower to my breasts. I was losing my mind. Right?
“And the decals?”
“I’m not sure we’ve got any here, but a couple of years ago, my mom got some. I think they might be at the house. I’ll check for you.”
“No, that’s fine. I don’t want to be a bother.”
“I wouldn’t have offered if it was a bother,” he added.
Jake nodded his head, motioning for me to follow him. We found my screws with no problem; he figured out which one I needed based on the type of hinges I had. God, he was so handy, and I had a feeling he knew just about anything that had to do with home improvements. I found that oddly sexy.
When he rang me up, I handed him my card with a whole lot of disappointment because I didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment with no one to talk to. Being alone with your thoughts was sometimes the worst thing you could do.
“Okay, now that we got your bullshit out of the way, take a seat.”
“Excuse me?” I hissed.
“Come on, you can sit right here while I work on the inventory.” He patted the chair that was behind him.
“You want me to stay?” My stomach was in knots. For the first time in a while, it was filled with hope.
Jake looked up from the computer and gave me a sensual smile. “Babe, the roads are shit. There’s no way I’m letting you go out in this condition. I think you came here to see me.”
He cared about my well-being, and that funny feeling came back with new sensation that felt like allergies because my throat clogged, I couldn’t breathe, and my nasal canal was also failing.
“I—I did not come here to see you.”
“You know you get this pretty blush all the way down your neck when you get flustered, and I think right now you’re flustered because you’re lying to me.” He smiled smugly at me.
“You’re very cocky. You know that?”
“And you’re high-strung. Now take a seat or I’ll sit you down myself.”
My eyes widened. He wouldn’t, would he?
“You wouldn’t dare,” I challenged him.
At that moment, I knew he would, when he raised a brow. My eyes widened when he jumped over the counter in one graceful move. My legs were frozen, and even if I did want to run, I couldn’t move. When he made it to me, I took two steps back. Not that it was much help.
He grabbed me by my waist, pulling me flush against him. All I could do was stare up at him. I was enthralled by his grace, the way he moved, his build. I wasn’t scared about the way he towered over me or the fact that his strong hands could bruise me if he wanted to. I knew him, and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
“Caught you,” he whispered.
I didn’t have time to respond before he threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. This was surreal.
“Jake,” I scoffed.
That feeling I got earlier in the parking lot intensified. His hands were on my thighs just below my butt, and it was like my sex-deprived vagina was screaming a little to the left and a little higher.
“Told you,” he said smugly as he slid me down his body.
My hands went to his arms. I wondered if he felt it too, the electricity buzzing around us. My stomach was tingling. My skin was starting to boil. Even though my feet were on the ground, Jake hadn’t let go of my waist. He began to walk us back until I felt the chair at the back of my knees.
I sat down, and he crouched in front of me, his arms grabbing onto the armrest while I gripped the bag that contained my screws.
“Much better,” he said before walking away.
With avid fascination, I watched him work. The way he lifted his arm and scratched his cheek when he was frustrated. I had to bite my lip when I saw the muscle in his torso flex. I was taking in everything that made Jake “Bear” Carson unique, at least to me. Like the way he chewed his pencil in deep thought before he brought it down and then typed on the computer. We didn’t speak much, except for him telling me that he would be right back when he would go check on items in the aisles.
The storm had gotten worse; you couldn’t even see out the window. Yeah, Jake was so going to think I came here for him. I pretended like I was reading on my phone, but in reality, I couldn’t stop looking at him. He captivated me. I was so comfortable in his space, I didn’t even feel the time pass.
It was late when Dexter Hendrix walked in. Right away, I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I’d met him briefly at one of the Newtons’ cookouts; he was Abigail’s long-lost cousin or something like that. I knew he was bound not to like me, but in my defense, if my brother hadn’t broken things off like he did that day, there is no way he would have waited for Abigail down that aisle. The heart wants what it wants, and Max’s heart had always wanted Freya.
So, yeah, there was a good reason Dexter would hate me. I just didn’t expect him to do so. He glared at me as soon as he saw me, and I told myself he was just doing his cousinly duty. I mean, the only reason he could hate me more was if he saw me talking to my brother before he canceled his s
ham of an engagement. Surprisingly, I didn’t glare back at him. I was too content to let this guy ruin the moment for me.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Jake looked up long enough from the screen to greet Dexter.
“The girls got worried when you didn’t show this morning. Now I can see why,” he snidely said, jerking his head toward me.
Okay, I got that I wasn’t a saint of his devotion, but he didn’t know me, and he had no right to judge me.
Jake shook his head and laughed, and my stomach dropped. He didn’t know me either; he didn’t have to defend me or glare back at the guy. They were obviously friends, but a comment in my defense would have been helpful. This feeling was one I knew well; I’d lived it many times before, and it never got easier. Chad’s friends liked to make comments that weren’t nice, almost always offensive, but they were his “bros just joking around.” I felt uncomfortable being here. My safe place wasn’t so safe anymore.
“They sent you in to make sure I didn’t get eaten by the abominable snowman?”
Despite his apparent dislike for me, Dexter grinned. “Something like that, and they wanted to know if you want them to bring you some coffee and food, but I can see that you’re busy.”
“Nah, that’s all right. I stopped by my parents’, and Ma packed me some lunch. We were about to eat. I just wanted to finish the inventory. But tell them I said thanks.”
“Will do,” Dexter replied before leaving, this time giving Jake and me a curious stare.
Quietly, I grabbed my bag, got up, and started to walk away.
“I should get going. It’s getting late.”
“Dunnett, sit your ass back down.”
“I’ve already inconvenienced you long enough.”
“Juliet.” He pierced me with those baby blues of his, and I felt like he could see through me. See the ugly I wanted to hide.
“Jake.” I stood my ground, which made him smile.
“You hungry?”
Damn him, I was hungry. My stomach had been quietly growling for the last hour, but I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want our time to end.
“Kind of.”
“Baby, either you are, or you aren’t,” he teased me.