by Delilah Hunt
“You’ve both said enough,” Matthew barked. He stomped over to the door and yanked it open. “I’m sorry our relationship has to end on these terms, but it’s best if we just part ways.”
“That’s more than okay with us.” Mr. Phillips took his wife’s hand. “I sincerely hope you reconsider settling down with this girl.”
“Goodbye.” Matthew slammed the door behind them.
He spun around to see Zara rushing toward him. She laid her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. You have to understand. That part was a lie, I never said anything about us being in–”
“What did you say?” Matthew shouted, unable to reign in his anger even when she flinched and pulled back her arm. He glared at her. “You’re always the victim, aren’t you? Isn’t that right, Zara?”
Zara shook her head. “Matthew. Please. I didn’t call her. She was the one who called me and started to say horrible things. I was angry when I—”
“You told my wife that you were in love with me,” he lashed out. Kristin died knowing he’d almost cheated during their marriage. She probably thought he had been so eager, unable to wait for the fucking divorce. She died thinking that. No faith in him.
“Let me explain,” she pleaded. Her hand fell to her stomach and she winced.
Jesus Christ. He knew he couldn’t argue with her. Not with her like this and the baby probably reacting to her. Matthew lowered his voice to a chilly whisper. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Her hands clenched at her sides. “I’m sorry for breaking my promise to you. It doesn’t mean you have to make me out to be a horrible person and Kristin the innocent victim.”
“She’s dead. I don’t know how much more of a victim she can be for you.”
She blanched. “Do you think it’s my fault? Is that the real reason you’re angry? You’re willing to blame me for doing what anyone else would do in retaliation if someone called them up with nothing but vicious name calling. I’m always the person trying to please everyone else and getting pushed aside in the long run. The one time I get tired of it and strike out, go against my word, something terrible happens and you’re ready to turn on me.”
“I didn’t place my trust in everyone else. I know better than that. I trusted you and you broke it out of spite to hurt someone I loved. That’s what I’m pissed about.”
She shrank back, her mouth agape. “Didn’t you hear a thing I just said?”
That all consuming guilt was returning. Space. That was exactly what he needed. He couldn’t answer her or even look at her. Yanking up his jacket, Matthew pulled open the door, ignoring the sound of Zara’s loud gasp behind him.
Chapter Eleven
“How is everything with you and Matt? Bet he’s going stir crazy waiting to become a father.” Annette asked, sipping her cup of tea across the table from Zara.
Zara forced a smile. “He’s excited about the baby.” Just not about me anymore. There was no way she could let anyone know about Matthew storming out of the house five days ago, hardly speaking a word to her since then.
“He’s almost finished with the room he’s fixing up for the baby.” At least that wasn’t a lie. In the afternoons when he came inside, he’d simply nod at her and ask her how she was feeling which she decoded to mean, ‘Is the baby still fine?’
Afterward he would escape into the nursery to do more work on it. She was so tired that on most nights she fell asleep before nine, an occurrence she was sure Matthew was thankful for.
Last night she’d awoken to see him climbing into the bed, his powerful frame outlined in the darkness, and she’d wanted him so desperately. Wanted their connection back. Deciding to take a chance at reconciliation, she had placed her hand on his shoulder, hoping he, too, was ready to move beyond this. She’d felt it, the tension radiating from his entire body. Not wishing to relent she’d whispered to him in the dark haze of the night.
“Don’t let this come between us, Matthew. Remember what you said about what’s important?”
She’d felt a tug on the blanket and knew the instant he eased away from her. “Go back to sleep, Z.”
****
Zara flinched in her chair, recalling the coldness she’d heard in his voice. She looked over at her boss and twisted the cup in her hands. When would she reach the point of giving up on her love for him? Would there ever come a time? Did she want to?
No.
Shortly after, Zara left the small café where she’d agreed to meet her boss and headed back to Rain Valley Ranch. Not surprisingly, Matthew was nowhere to be seen. Zara looked out the window across the snowy landscape. The situation was beginning to wear thin and was getting ridiculous and more painful by the day. If Matthew loved her as much as he said, why couldn’t he get past this? He should know her better than anyone else and understand she had never intended to hurt his deceased wife.
And Matthew had to know Kristin was no saint either. But then once a person died it seemed as if all their misdeeds were forgiven and discarded. No one had ever spoken to her the way Kristin Caldwell did that day when she called her out of the blue, assigning every derogatory term for a woman to her. Unused to defending herself so openly Zara had struck back using the only ammunition she had, regretting it the instant she’d said it. Using her love for Matthew as a weapon was decision karma now demanded retribution for.
One more day. Zara headed into the bedroom and stripped off her clothes. She would give him another day to continue his brooding before attempting to force the issue at hand once more. If he refused to budge and continued to hold on to his anger, then heartbreaking as it would be, she would have to find the strength to move on. Her baby deserved it, she deserved it.
A hot shower later, Zara returned to the bedroom, throwing the damp towel onto the bed. The baby moved inside of her and she looked down watching the beautiful movement rippling across her belly. What if Matthew really and truly didn’t want to have a life with her and their baby? The stark and all too real possibility made her throat clog up. What if he did abandon them? Would their child blame her for his father’s absence? She was the one who had messed everything up.
Oh god, the baby wasn’t even born yet and she was halfway into disturbing its life. How the heck would she survive single motherhood? Zara held onto the edge of the dresser for support. She needed to get a grip. Matthew loved her. She loved him. They would get through this. They would.
The door pushed open and Zara jumped, reaching for the towel hanging off the bed. She stopped, allowing the towel to slip from her fingers. If she hid her body from him, she’d just be calling it quits. Regardless of his silence, Matthew was still her man and she needed to show him that.
Zara turned to him. He was standing by the door, the same harshness to his features. For a second his gaze drifted over her body then returned to her face. Still upset. Zara sighed. Perhaps it was time for a bit of honesty that might snap him into the reality she was facing.
“I haven’t ruled out going to Rapid Springs.” She had, but now the idea was rearing its ugly head.
He stared at her unmoved except for the husky edge his voice took on. “When?” He was staring at her with an odd expression.
She lifted a shoulder masking the hurt with casualness. “Maybe a month or two after the baby comes.”
He remained by the door, silent. Annoyed by his lack of emotion, Zara strutted over to him. “Nothing? I’ve just told you I’m leaving and you have nothing to say but ask me when?”
“What do you want me to say?”
Zara shook her head and moved away from him. “I don’t think anything you say at this point would make a difference to me.” She grabbed the towel off the bed and wrapped it around her naked body.
“Zara.”
She lifted her brow.
He shook his head and sighed. “I’m going out for a few hours. Call me if anything happens.”
And just like that she heard the faint sound of the front door clicking behind him.
She sli
d onto the bed, touching her stomach. So this was it. Their fling, or relationship, whatever the hell it was, had come to an end. No sweet words, no proposal of marriage, no getting down on his knees telling her how much he loved her and the baby. No hugging and kissing her like all the other men did on television after their wives or girlfriends gave birth.
She sat on the bed with the towel wrenched in her hands. She hadn’t even told him how terrified she was of having the baby and now she was probably going to have to do it alone.
****
Matthew sat on the bar stool staring at the untouched glass of liquor his cousin had taken the liberty of pushing in front of him.
“What the fuck are you doing in here if you’re not going to drink?” Caleb asked chugging back on his glass of vodka.
“I’m wondering that too.” He gripped the glass sloshing around the liquid. He wasn’t too keen on drinking and even if he was, it wouldn’t stop him from feeling lower than the underbelly of a snake for the look he’d put on her face right before he left.
Yet, the fact remained. Zara had lied to him. Omitted the truth. It killed to think those were Krissy’s last thoughts before she died, confirmation of her accusations to him about Zara’s feelings and his closeness to her.
Caleb nodded then looked over his shoulder, grinning. “You might not want that drink, but maybe you’ll be interested in what’s behind you.”
Curious, Matthew shifted his head to the side. A brunette and a blonde were seated around a small table. The brunette smiled at him before looking away and mouthing something to the other woman.
Matthew returned his attention to the filled glass in his hand. Beside him Caleb made a sound of annoyance, snatching the glass from him. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man? That’s a quick and easy lay right there.”
Matthew snorted and glared at his cousin. “I have a girlfriend at home whose about to pop with my kid, in case you missed that.” He pushed out of his stool. “Go fuck both of them if you’re so concerned.”
“I thought you were pissed about what she told Kristin.”
“I was an ass and I overreacted big time.” Caleb smirked but Matthew chose to ignore him. “I know Zara wouldn’t have said it if she wasn’t hurting.”
Caleb took another swig. “Guess I should say good luck with the groveling.”
Matthew exited the bar, catching a brief glimpse of Caleb sauntering over to the table with the two women.
Grovel he would.
****
He arrived home to the entire house cloaked in darkness. A flick of the light switch and Matthew hurried to remove his clothes, not wishing to disturb Zara when he entered the dim bedroom.
A soft moonlight shone from between the blinds and he could see her figure curled as far away from his side of the bed as she could go without falling off.
His throat felt tight and his chest clenched with pain. She’d done that because of him and his dismissal of her.
Matthew crawled into the bed, gently pulling her from the edge. She stirred and twisted her head on the pillow. Rubbing her back Matthew crooned, “Shh, sweet girl.”
She pressed her face to his shoulders, her eyelids fluttering. Matthew relaxed with his hand stroking her smooth skin. He’d wait until tomorrow to talk to her, remind her how much she meant to him. How much starting a life with her and their baby meant to him.
Chapter Twelve
Matthew awoke, a small smile spreading across his lips as he reached out for Zara. Empty sheets.
What else did he expect? Of course she wouldn’t lay around in the bed with him? Matthew headed into the kitchen, standing by the doorway. Zara stood with her back to him, pouring a glass of orange juice. Silently, Matthew returned to the bedroom and headed into the adjoining bathroom.
A quick shower while she ate and then he’d straighten it out with her. Zara Whitley was going to know she was the only female for him, that she would always be the friend he’d found so long ago.
Minutes later he hopped out of the shower and grabbed a pair of jeans from the closet. Matthew glanced over at the side she shared with him, doing a double take. What the hell? Empty hangers hung from the racks. He looked at the floor. Even her favorite pair of boots was missing. Throwing on the jeans, Matthew dashed through the house.
“Zara!”
Deafening silence. He flung the door open. Blistering cold nipped at his face and slashed into his chest. Matthew looked over at the driveway. Car still there. Where the fuck was she? His bare feet plodded through the snow, unsure of which direction to go. Damn the size of the ranch. She could be anywhere. Hurt even. Shit.
“Zara” he shouted again, panicked, on the verge of a meltdown. Fat flakes of snow clouded his vision. Fucking snow.
Can’t lose her.
“Come on, Z, where are you?” he bit out, looking to the ground for traces of footprint. Nothing but fresh snow.
“Matthew?”
Whipping his head to the side, his entire body grew taut. Zara. Her beautiful voice. Matthew cried her name as she appeared from behind one of the ancient cedars. Thick dark curls were made white with snow. He ran to her, closing the distance between them, dropping to his knees in front of her. “Don’t you ever go off like that again.” He looked up at her, wrapping an arm around her leg. “I thought you were lost, hurt…” His voice broke and he pressed his face to her leg.
Stunned reflective eyes stared down at him, appearing larger than normal. “What are you doing?” she asked, searching his face. “Get up. It’s freezing out here.”
Matthew shook his head, meeting her gaze. “I can’t. Not until I convince you not to leave me.”
Her eyes darkened and she took a step back. “Don’t, Matthew. I came out here to do some thinking before I got into my car and drove away. I can’t do this anymore, wondering when the next time will come that you push me away. She sniffled and pointed at him. “Look at you. You don’t even have any shoes on kneeling here in the snow as if you really care. Why? I told you I was going to leave and you didn’t care. What happened between now and last night? Did your precious wife come to you in a saintly vision and give her permission?” Her voice cracked. She wiped her eyes. “No thank you. I’m not going to stick around so you can keep punishing me for something that wasn’t my fault. You just don’t treat people you say you love the way you’ve been treating me.”
Matthew groaned and stood. “It’s not going to happen, Z. I know I’ve screwed up more than once since we met. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I do, sweet girl. I love every damn thing about you.” He cupped her face, kissing her head despite the way she struggled to get out of his grasp. “You’re the only person I want to do this with. Live this life, have children with. I know you love the ranch as much as I do. I know you’d never put what others think in front of you and me, the family we’re going to have together.”
Zara shook her head. “I have my mind made up.”
“Then why didn’t you leave right away while I was in shower?” He drew her to him feeling the slight pressure of her stomach between them. “Because you love me too. We’ve always loved each other, sweet girl, and you know it. Inside your heart you don’t want to leave me anymore than I want you to leave.”
A snowflake danced on her wet lashes. “Tell me you’ll stay with me and let me prove my words.” He placed his hand on her stomach. “Let me show you what a loving father I’ll be to our child.”
She closed her eyes and ever so slowly Matthew felt her reaching out to him, burying her face in his neck. “I’m going to hate you forever, Matthew Caldwell, if you don’t live up to your words.”
He clasped his arms around her. “Then you’ll never have a reason to hate me.” He brought his lips down and claimed her mouth in a scorching kiss.
Zara mewled against his mouth when the kiss ended. “Can we go in now?” she asked. “I’d like to keep you around for a while and I don’t think standing out here half naked is helping the matter.”
Matthew cast a quick glance at his chest and feet covered in the snow then back at Zara who was staring at him in amusement and astonishment. “It’s fucking cold out here,” he said grabbing her hand.
****
Zara stood in front of Matthew, his arms wrapped around her naked body. Her back rested against his solid chest. His skin felt cold. Like ice.
“Let me warm you.”
Matthew tipped her chin up, his eyes boring into hers, a sea of emotions visible. “You’ve already warmed me from the inside out. My heart, my soul. You’re the better part of me that I can’t let go. I’ll never give up on us.”
His massive cock pressed against her bottom while his lips trailed kisses along her neck and shoulders. “You’re my other half too.” She lowered her head and kissed his muscled chest, dotting a line of kisses down the thin trail of hair.
Matthew groaned, curling his fingers into her hair. “Can you still take me?”
Lifting her head, Zara nodded. “Always.”
Matthew lifted a strand of her hair and kissed her. “Sit on the edge of the bed and open your legs. I want to see if my girl is wet for me.”
Zara flushed and hurried over to the bed. She parted her thighs and gazed up at him. His cock, thick and glistening with fluid seeping from the head, jutted out toward her.
Fisting his shaft, Matthew stared with longing between her legs. “You’re soaked.” His voice was strained. He moved his hand over the meaty cock and his eyes clouded over with lust. “Can’t wait to get back inside you, Z. Feels like forever since I wet your cunt.”
“Five days,” Zara moaned, raising her lashes to his face. Five long, agonizing days without Matthew’s cock pumping inside her.
In two powerful strides, Matthew was in front of her on his knees. Zara scooted forward and arched her back, spreading her legs as wide as they could go. Matthew kissed the inside of her thigh. “If I could paint, I think I’d want to immortalize you like this. Legs splayed with your cunt dripping, begging for my cock, and your belly ripe with my seed.” His fingers found her clitoris, stroking it. “I’d hang it up for everyone to see, to know what a female looks like who’s given herself wholly and completely to her man.”