by Amity Hope
She had waged a mental battle trying to decide if she should drive to his house last night. She had decided that he was probably sleeping and quite possibly, her visiting would be nothing more than an aggravation.
She had made unnecessary stops at her locker between her morning classes, coming away disappointed each time. Now she discreetly checked her phone again as she stuffed her books into her locker before lunch. She was surprised yet relieved to see that he’d finally left a message. Leaning into her locker, to keep her phone out of sight, she retrieved the voicemail.
His voice sounded awful. Ava attributed it to his being so sick the day before and possibly even still as he had not yet said if he was feeling better. When he spoke, her knees went weak.
Hey. I know I told you that nothing was bothering me but that wasn’t exactly true. The last few days I realized that you seem to be a lot more in to me than I am in to you. I feel like you’re getting too serious too quickly. I just don’t feel the same. Oh, I just realized you’re in school right now. Speaking of that, I never should have started dating someone still in high school. I think it’s best if we stop seeing each other completely.
“Ava?” Grier tentatively asked as she appeared in front of her. “Are you alright?”
“A">“What’s wrong?” Molly added when she skidded to a stop in front of Ava’s locker.
“You look awful! Did you catch whatever Gabe had?” Julia looked alarmed as she joined their group.
Ava shook her head. Her face was pale and decidedly blank. She felt numb from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.
“No,” she slowly replied as she looked at her phone, still in her hand. “He just broke up with me.”
Molly’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she made it work. “What? Why?”
“Is that bad?” Grier wanted to know.
“Of course it’s bad,” Julia softly told Grier.
Ava hit the button that would repeat the message and handed her phone to Molly, who could not care less about discretion as she stood openly listening to it in the hallway. Julia leaned her head in so they could share the phone.
Grier crinkled her brow in confusion.
When the message was complete Molly jabbed the power button in consternation.
“Now?” she demanded. “Now he decides you’re too young for him? You’ve been together for months and we graduate in less than two weeks!”
“He’s lying,” Ava declared.
Grier nodded her head as if that was something she could understand.
“He sounds awful,” Molly said with a concerned wrinkle between her brows. “Maybe he has a fever and he’s delirious. He has to be talking nonsense because he cannot mean what he just said.”
Ava gave her a look that said she knew better.
“Can you two go get us some lunch and meet us outside?” Molly asked.
Julia agreed despite Ava’s protests that she wasn’t hungry. Molly took Ava by the arm, leading her out to the tree they often ate their lunch under. She darted concerned looks at Ava, who guessed she was worried she would burst into tearful theatrics.
She wouldn’t.
Not yet, anyway.
The day was cool and overcast. They both briefly wished they’d grabbed a coat but with the weather as it was, fewer students were likely to trickle outside. At the moment, everyone else seemed to either be eating inside or they were still purchasing their food. It gave them a semblance of privacy.
“He’s not going to do this,” Ava decided as she slumped onto the ground next to Molly. “I’m not going to let him get away with this. If I thought that he really felt that way, that he really meant it, I’d let it go. But I don’t believe him.”
“What are you going to do?” Molly asked.
The sound of resolute determination in Ava’s voice did not surprise her but she wasn’t sure it was for the best either. Something about Gabe had always made Molly feel a little uneasy. She could never pin down exactly what that something was. So as long as Ava seemed happy—and she did—Molly was willing to keep her opinion to herself.
“First, I’m going to call him. I need to start with that.” They were not allowed to use their phones inside the school but they weren’t monitored outdoors, on their lunch breaks. She called Gabe. It rang instead of going straight to voice mail but he didn’t answer. Frustrated, she texted a response instead.
He thought he could just tell her they were done with each other completely?
Ava didn’t think so. Her text was simple but pointed.
NO.
“I just don’t understand what happened!” Ava told Molly as she set her phone in her lap. “I was worried on Saturday but then he sent me a text apologizing. I haven’t really talked to him since then but I thought when he showed up yesterday morning, things were fine. Apparently I was wrong.”
Ava had felt something indefinable when Gabe had shown up at church. The way he’d held on to her just a bit too long, as if it was physically difficult for him to let go, stuck with her. When she had been singing and she found his face and held his gaze he had looked at her with what she swore was an intense look of relief. As if she made him feel like he belonged there.
“Maybe he just needs a breather,” Molly suggested. “Maybe he’s the one who’s falling too fast and he needs to slow things down until he’s comfortable with it.”
“Maybe,” Ava said noncommittally. She shook her head. “I know this sounds completely egotistical but I feel like he needs me. He doesn’t have anyone. Not his mother, his father, his brother. When I asked him when the last time was that he had a home cooked meal, do you know what his answer was?”
Molly’s eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. “I’ve got no idea.”
“He told me they didn’t have a cook. What kind of answer is that?” Ava let out a little sigh of defeat. “I mean, how sad is that? It sounds like he’s been on his own his whole life. It just breaks my heart. I want to be there for him.”
“Ava, hon, I don’t mean pop your balloon but it sounds like right now, he doesn’t want you to be,” Molly gently told her friend.
“I think he does,” Ava stubbornly replied. “Even if he doesn’t realize it yet. I don’t think that boy has had a normal relationship once in his life. Not with his family, not with anyone,” she said in frustration.
“I see what you’re doing,” Molly carefully told Ava. “I know you don’t like to see people hurting and you want everyone to be happy. You want to fix him and his problems. But I don’t know if you can.”
“I don’t want to fix him. I want to help him,” Ava corrected. “His whole life everyone has just left him. I’m not going to do that. I’m going to let him know I’m here for him, whether he likes it or not.”
Just then her phone buzzed in announcement of an incoming text. She looked at it, holding it to the side so Molly could see as well.
Non negotiable.
“We’ll see about that,” Ava muttered.
Chapter 17
He was scrubbing his hair dry with a towel when he heard a sound that would be nearly inaudible to human ears. He started toward the door, assuming it was Rafe—because he couldn’t imagine who else it could be—but backtracked to his bedroom to grab a shirt, just in case it was someone else. He tugged it over his still damp torso.
Barefooted, he made his way to the door. Ava let out a small shriek and nearly fell of the step when he swung the door open.
“You scared me,” she told him, resting her hand on her fluttering heart for a moment.
“Obviously,” he sarcastically replied. “What are you doing here? Why are you creeping around my house? In the dark?” he stressed.
He grabbed her wrist and tugged her inside. The last thing he needed was for his family to find her here. Not now. His heart pounded explosively at the thought.
“I’m not creeping around,” she told him, not the least bit offended. “I was just dropping something off for you. I hadn’t planned
to talk to you or bother you. I was just going to leave these sitting here,” she said, motioning to the stack of items Gabe had not noticed.
She darted back out of the still open door and slid the box into his entry way. Gabe shut the door and discreetly locked it behind her.
“Are you feeling better?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes and looked him over. She didn’t seem pleased with what she saw. Her eyes, her voice, her entire demeanor emanated concern. “You look really pale. Maybe you should lie down.”
“That’s what I was planning on doing. But then someone showed up and interrupted that plan,” he sardonically replied.
Gabe was, in fact, not feeling well at all. Rafe took even more pleasure in his torment than their father did. It was not the first time he’d suffered such severe punishment at his brother’s hand but it was the first time in quite a while. He was still feeling the grueling effects of his brother’s own, unique brand of retribution. He couldn’t imagine ever admitting this to her.
He doubted she would believe him if he did.
“What is all of this?” he asked instead, taking it in. It appeared to be a box full of thermal bags, the type he’d seen at gas stations next to the ice coolers.
“I brought you dinner. Actually, make that dinners,” Ava said, swooping down to pick up the box. She lifted it with obvious effort, shoved Gabe aside with her hip and headed for his kitchen. “As long as I’m here, I might as well unpack them.”
“Ava…What the hell are you doing?” he asked as he tramped along behind her.
“Don’t worry. I won’t stay,” she said, obviously trying to keep her tone light. “What you said the other day? About never really having a home cooked meal? I couldn’t get it out of my head. I love to cook. You need to eat. I just thought I’d whip up a few things for you. That’s all. I mean, it’s no wonder you’re so cranky,” she told him. “Take-out food must take a toll on your health. All that msg, that trans fat, you’ve probably already got high cholesterol and clogged arteries. It’s enough to make anyone crabby.”
“Ava!” he said harshly. “I am not one of your charity cases!”
She gave him a sharp, cutting look that let him know she was annoyed. “That is not what this is about. I don’t think you’re a charity case but I do think you’re my friend.” She paused, debating. “You know, cooking is therapeutic. It helps me think. This afternoon, when I got your message, my first thought was that I was not going to let you break up with me. But then I realized we were getting along great before as friends. I had fun and it seemed like you did too. Thinking back, you never really gave me any indication that you wanted to take things to the next level. I feel like I possibly pushed that on you. So, I’m taking it back.”
“You’re doing what?” Gabe asked, flustered as he leaned against the bar opposite Ava. ope yo He needed something between his body and hers because he had been unprepared for this visit. It was all he could do to keep his distance.
She was dressed in flip flops and yoga pants topped off with a hoodie. Her hair was in a sloppy, messy, crooked concoction at the back of her head. Probably to keep it out of her way while she was cooking, Gabe decided. She certainly didn’t look like she’d stopped in to try to entice him. Yet her very presence was doing just that.
“I’m taking it back. We’re no longer dating, obviously. But you can’t tell me that I can’t still be your friend. You’ve done so much for me,” Ava explained. “You defended my house, you fought off a mugger, you bought me this,” her fingers danced across the pendant which Gabe gladly noted she didn’t try to give back. He wanted her to keep it. He did not want to waste his energy arguing about it.
“Those things…” Gabe started and didn’t know how to finish. What would she think if she knew all of those things—and so many more—in one way or another, had been fabricated? Maybe he should tell her. Then maybe she would think twice about wanting to be his friend.
“Those were things I really appreciated,” Ava finished for him when he faltered. “So these meals are a small way of paying you back. Of telling you ‘thank you’.” She stood back from the counter and blew out a breath.
To Gabe’s bewilderment she made her way into his living room and took a seat. Common sense told him he should tell her to leave. Being in the same room with her had the potential to knock down the resolve he’d so carefully spent the day building up. He didn’t ask her to leave. But he didn’t join her either. He remained where he was, behind the pitiable barricade of the kitchen counter.
“So tell me what this is really about.” She pulled her feet up underneath her, a clear sign she was making herself comfortable.
“You really should just go,” Gabe heard himself say. “You told me you weren’t staying.”
Ava shook her head. “The whole drive out here I told myself I wasn’t going to bother you. I wasn’t going to knock on your door or try to talk to you. Not yet, anyway. I was going to give you some time. But…” she looked at Gabe helplessly and shrugged. “The minute you opened the door I realized I couldn’t leave. Not until you tell me why such an abrupt change.”
He clenched and unclenched his jaw. Explanations were swirling around in his mind; cruel explanations that he’d used in the past when he just wanted a girl gone as quickly as possible. He opened his mouth expecting to spew a few hateful words to get Ava to go. His jaw inexplicably clamped shut again. Somehow, he knew that no matter how harsh of a call he left, no matter what he said now, she would not just walk away.
Ava was not the type of girl to just give up.
At the moment, he was both loathing and admiring that about her.
<24" align+0" face="Times New Roman">He hadn’t expected to hear from her so soon. He definitely had not expected her to show up on his doorstep. Furthermore, he did not know if his father or his brother were home. The thought that they might be was making it hard to speak. It was making it even harder to think.
“Gabe?” she said his name softly and with so much concern that it jerked him out of the confused state he’d been in. “Are you okay?”
He needed to get her out of here.
“I’d be better if you left,” he told her, doing his best to sound irritated. “You weren’t invited and I’m tired.”
“Right. Okay,” she said as she got up, looking defeated. “But don’t think you’re done with me.”
“Ava, I am done with you,” he said as harshly as he could muster.
She moved so she was standing beside him, the counter no longer acting as a barrier.
“Why?” she demanded. “What changed?” she lifted her hand, ready to let it rest on his arm but he flinched and backed away.
She blinked at him in hurt surprise.
“Nothing changed. This was a terrible idea from the start.” It was the truth.
Ava shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s not true.”
Gabe decided on as much of the truth as he could spare. It was easier to keep things straight that way. “Yes, it is. You shouldn’t be around me. You shouldn’t be around my family. That’s it. Plain and simple. You and I? We could not be more different. It’s a struggle for me to be around you because I have to pretend to be nice. All the damn time! Ava! I am not nice!
“Yesterday was the first time I’ve ever even been in a church. Do you know what I thought of it?” he asked his voice hardening. He needed to get through to her. He needed her to leave. More importantly, he needed her to not come back. “I thought it was awful. It was painful to have to sit through it. I have no intention of ever going back. Never. So, you tell me that you and I are a good idea.”
“We are,” Ava stubbornly replied. “Because you need to have someone in your life that you know you can count on. We might be completely different people but that doesn’t change the fact that I care about you. If you’re going through something right now, which clearly, you are, you need to know that I’m here for you. As a friend, if nothing else. You can say whatever hurtful thing you
need to say to try to push me away. And okay, so maybe some of it’s true. Maybe all of it’s true. But that’s not going to change the fact that I’m here if you need me. I’m not going to bail on you like everyone else in your life has.”
“I don’t need you!” Gabe grated out as he threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. His mind was telling him he was going to have to step up his act if he really expected her to go and not look back. But another part of him kept winning out.
He didn’t want to hurt her but he knew he was going to have to. It was the best thing for her.
Ava ducked around him to the side of the counter where she’d left her enormous box. She slid a few containers clearly marked “Chicken Parmigiana” into the freezer. Some more marked “Beef Stroganoff” went in on top of it. Ignoring him, she continued to stack containers, nice and neat, one on top of the other.
“Just stop, okay? You need to get out of here. I don’t want you here!”
She flinched at the sincerity of his voice but wouldn’t look at him as she kept working.
Gabe’s stomach growled in irritation. He had eaten while he was out much earlier in the day—after his text from Ava—but he had not remembered to stop to buy himself any groceries. He refused to go to the main kitchen, not wanting to run into his brother. He’d been left to scrounge up what measly bit he could. All he’d found in his freezer were the enchiladas he’d thrown in a few days ago and a half eaten carton of Butter Brickle ice-cream that he’d gotten because it was Ava’s favorite flavor. It was pathetic, he knew it. He didn’t particularly care. His cupboards only offered a bag of cheese curls and a box of crackers the housekeeper had bought. They were low in fat, low in salt and low in flavor. Under normal circumstances he’d have tossed them but he’d devoured the whole box in a matter of minutes.
His lack of food, and therefore fuel to help his body regenerate, was part of the reason he was still feeling so rotten. He was lightheaded, achy and nauseous. He watched as Ava piled the food in, his hunger growing more intense by the second.