by Lily White
“If I tell you a secret, do you think you can keep it between us?”
Nodding, he reached up to brush the greasy hair out of his face that had slipped from the hair tie he used to keep it all back. I assumed at one point it had been tucked neatly away but had come loose in his struggle with the sheriff. “I won’t tell.”
A bark of soft laughter burst out. “Sure you won’t. I don’t believe you, but I’ll tell you anyway. I have some time to kill while I pretend to be praying over you while clutching my rosary in hopes I can save your soul.”
His knuckles whitened as he squeezed the bars more. “Is that what this is? You trying to convert me?”
“Convert you to what? A lie?” I laughed. “That would be a giant waste of my time. In truth, I’m no better than you. I’ve enjoyed sneaking behind a woman and taking what should be mine. Men are the stronger gender for a reason, are we not?”
He shuffled his weight again, releasing one of the bars to scratch at an itch on his arm. Watching him closely, I recognized the signs of a man coming down from his high, the itchy need for another hit sneaking up on him that would eventually drive him insane.
“We are,” he agreed hesitantly, still not sure he could trust that another kind of predator was staring back at him.
“Who do these women think we are? Pussies that have to ask permission for a fuck? Please. We’ve been taking it since the beginning of time. Knocking them over the head and dragging them over just so we can get what we want and leave them there to deal with it. Now all these spoiled bitches think they deserve romance, flowers and wine, some type of jewelry that isn’t worth the money we spend on it. It’s a bunch of bullshit, if you ask me. I tend to think society should return to our roots, ditch the bullshit that makes us civilized and go back to a time where the strongest man survived.”
Pushing away from the cage bars, he stepped back and took me in all over again, searching desperately for any sign that I was evil as I told him I was. It was refreshing not having to lie for once, to lay it all out and reveal that I’m not the man everybody thinks I am. I would thank him for being the captive audience to my confession, but I hardly doubted what would soon happen to him was something he’d appreciate or consider as thanks.
“Are you for real? How do I know you’re not lying to me right now?”
“You don’t, but if you’d rather we sit here and stare at one another, we could do that as well. I just happen to find it boring. Might as well compare notes. I like a good pussy just as much as the next man, especially if the woman is screaming and crying while it happens.”
My eyebrow arched and his shoulders relaxed just enough for me to know that he was finally believing I wasn’t the friendly neighborhood priest that was holier than thou.
His mouth opened and closed a few times, indecision flooding him as he decided whether to admit to his crimes or not. “Well, I mean, yeah. It feels good to take what I want.”
I didn’t have to look in a mirror to know my eyes glittered with satisfaction. “That’a boy. It’s about time you add something to the conversation. So, tell me, with Eve: Do you remember what you did to her on the side of the road? How you convinced her to let her guard down? Nothing against you, it’s just that Eve doesn’t normally go for men with greasy hair and dirty clothes. I thought I’d trained her better than that.”
Rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand, he dropped his arm to his side and answered, “I actually don’t remember much of that night. I was out partying, was on my way home and I woke up on the side of the road the next morning, beaten and bloody. My car was popped from behind leaving a big dent. I thought some of the guys I’d pissed off at the bar had followed me. I was drunk. Probably on something.”
It made sense, and I didn’t doubt he was being honest. Breathing out slowly, I dropped that topic because it was sadly obvious I wouldn’t learn more about the night my beautiful girl decided to act like a harlot. I wouldn’t hold it against her, and in truth I’d already forgiven the error in her ways.
Glancing at my watch, I saw that only fifteen minutes had passed. Surely, if I were any good at my job as a priest, I’d give this man more time in my attempt to save his soul.
“That’s too bad. I was hoping to hear the details. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t excite me to hear about another man taking his fill. Eve is something to be desired. That woman will do whatever you ask of her and purr when you provide her the slightest bit of pain with the pleasure.”
He laughed, the sound sleazy and grainy, but he was started to come under my thumb. If he didn’t have to die tonight in order for me to firmly secure the sheriff in my games, I wouldn’t have minded taking this man in, cleaning him up, and using him for everything I had planned.
“So, you’re really not a priest?”
Shaking my head, I stared back at him, pure honesty shining in my expression. Masks are hard to maintain, they had a way of suffocating you when you were forced to wear them all the damn time. “No. I’m not. I happen to hate everything about the Church and the God to whom all those poor bastards pray. I know a little more about him than I’d like to, and that’s why I’m here now, talking to you and waiting for it to appear as though I’d tried to lead you to the light. The sad fact is, there is no light, just power hungry, perverted humans taking a fable and turning it into a way to gain money and control over every stupid fuck that wants to believe it’s true.”
My friend laughed again, nodding his head as a smile stretched his thin lips. “Yeah, I know what you’re saying. I never believed that crap myself. If these fuckers were so holy, why are most of them struggling to get by? Especially in this area where you’re either starving, on the verge of starving, or already living in the gutters doing your best to stay alive.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “I think it’s funny that nobody sees it.”
Silence passed between us, but his curiosity had him asking a question before long. “So what’s with the getup then? Do you use your job with the Church to have a little fun?”
His eyebrows wiggled up and down, perverted thoughts rolling behind his eyes. “I mean, if I were in your position, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from tasting the good girls that look at men like us and won’t even give us the time of day.”
That might happen to him, I thought, but only because he was disgusting. The idiot should have thought to clean himself up a touch more, maybe get a haircut and some decent clothes and perhaps the women he fucked would be a little classier than back alley whores.
“I’m not opposed to tasting, if that’s what you’re asking, but that’s not my main motivation. I have much bigger plans in mind.” Pausing for a beat, I spent a moment enjoying the fact that I was so close to everything I’d worked for that I could taste it. “I plan on destroying the Church from the inside out. Plan on revealing the truth about the business it’s become. You see, the Catholic Church is more powerful than many people believe and they’ve spent centuries learning how to cover up their crimes. It’s too bad for them that they didn’t suspect that one person would be strong enough to rip away the veil and reveal them for all that they are. Predators and thieves, the wolves in sheep’s clothing we were warned about, the false prophet that Christ himself claimed would appear. Meanwhile, the idiots who look to the Church to read them the Bible don’t realize that many passages are left out entirely. The faithful truly have no idea.”
“You sound like you have a bone to pick. Either that or you’re fucking crazy.”
My lip twitched with humor. “Am I?” Shrugging a shoulder, I conceded, “Maybe I am, but only because they brought it out of me.” My eyes locked on his, and I felt just a touch of pity for a man who didn’t know he was condemned. “Actually, no, I wouldn’t say I’m crazy, I would just say that I removed the blinders while everybody else is still sucking down the poisonous lies being spoon fed to them by a Church that’s picking their pocket at the same time. It’s funny when you think about it. We’ve been given a boo
k with all these rules, told to follow them blindly and to love our neighbors, yet all you see are a bunch of insolent pricks who judge, who hate, or hold as much money to themselves while not giving a damn about people who are starving. And then those same self-righteous fucks like to turn around and tell people like us how we should live our lives. It’s a bullshit game that’s been played for too damn long, and I just want to play one myself.”
The man was twitching where he stood, scratching at himself some more as he struggled to bring his eyes into focus. Oh well. He probably didn’t comprehend a damn word I was saying at this point, and there was no bother wasting my breath.
“I guess I should get back out there and see what the sheriff is doing. It’s getting late and I’m sure he wants to get home and go to bed. Do you feel like I’ve saved your soul in here, son? Do you feel like you can walk out into the world and be a better man for the prayers we’ve spoken together?”
He didn’t answer immediately, but took the hint when I winked.
“Ah. I get you now. You’re going to help me out by telling the sheriff I’m a saved man.” Laughter bubbled from his lips, the movement of his shoulders shaking the hair loose from where he’d tucked it behind his ears. “Thanks, man, that’ll really help. I guess you’re not lying to me after all. You really are a sick bastard like me.”
I winked again. “Actually, I’m not like you, I’m a lot more polished in my games.” Pushing off from the wall, I stretched my back and neck before turning to approach the door.
“Hey, buddy. I just wanted to say thanks again. You know, before the sheriff is close enough to hear us.”
My hand gripped over the handle to the door and without turning to him, I asked, “Thank me for what?”
“For helping me out.”
My shoulders shook with laughter. “I hate to tell you this, friend, but I’m not sure you’ll like what my help looks like.” Glancing at him, I smiled and said, “Because the truth is you won’t live to see tomorrow.”
I laughed again and turned back to open the door. Before stepping out I added, “May God have mercy on your soul.”
EVE
After eating the soup that Elijah had fed me, I felt better than I had in days. I understood the tea was supposed to settle my churning stomach, but it never did, despite the assurances both Richard and Elijah had given me. My head always felt fuzzy and I couldn’t sleep when I needed to, couldn’t wake up when I was walked outside for exercise. All I wanted to do was lie in bed and wait for my husband to come back to me.
I hated that he spent so much time at the parish without me, but he was back now, and he’d promised to relieve me of the final bit of this demon that plagued my body. I believed him, believed he had the power to deliver me to the divine like he claimed. I know he wanted me to sleep after walking from my room, but the food had warmed me and given me energy. Knowing he would return tonight to our bed, I wanted to be ready for him even when I was so thin I didn’t feel beautiful. So, after he left, I jumped in a shower and scrubbed away the dirt and grime I always felt all over me. I’d crawled back in bed and grabbed the Bible hoping the words given to us by the Heavenly Father would soothe me until he returned.
Not much time had passed before the door popped open and a familiar face peeked through. The smile that stretched my lips made my cheeks hurt for how brilliant it was. “Joshua.”
I hadn’t spent much time with my brother since marrying Elijah, and for the week I spent at the parish after running away, I’d feared he would have been killed for running me off on the night of the ceremony. However, Elijah promised me that no harm would ever come to my family – he loved me too much to let that happen – and he feared the same evil attacking me had gone after my brother. He told me that the men had prayed together night and day, and that my brother hadn’t been infected as badly as me as a result. And now, here he was, fresh faced and handsome, visiting me while my husband was away.
“Come in,” I said, excited and laughing, the motion of my body from the sound causing a small ache to spread across my bones. It didn’t matter. Not with Joshua here, not with my life returning to normal.
It wasn’t that I disliked the parish and the time I’d had alone with Elijah, it was simply that I had always felt so unwanted and alone.
“Hey, Eve. How are you feeling?”
He walked across the room on unhurried steps, his broad shoulders and chest covered by the white button up shirt all the men wore. His brown hair had grown out so that it dusted his shoulders. I liked the way the longer hair looked on him. It perfectly framed his face and highlighted his cheekbones and square jaw. With eyes as green as mine, he sat beside me, the light of the room glimmering against those emerald orbs.
“I’m better now that Elijah is back. I missed him so much.”
“I know.”
I’m sure I looked sickly, that my skin was still pale and my bones protruded so much they pressed against the skin, but I would improve once Elijah was finished pulling the sin from my body and replacing it with his love. He was too powerful, even for Satan himself, and in the coming days I knew he’d make good on his promise to heal me and protect me always.
“I was able to keep down food, for once. I feel like it’s been weeks since I last ate.”
Joshua’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, and if I wasn’t mistaken, a bare hint of guilt flickered behind his gaze. Reaching out, he took my hand in his, the warmth of his skin sinking into my own. The cold hadn’t bothered me until it was obvious in contrast to him.
“I’ve been thinking,” he murmured, his voice soft, but not a whisper. It was gentle, like the way a person would talk during a lazy spring day spent enjoying company beneath the warmth of the afternoon sun. “I’d like to take you on a trip in the next couple of days, just some brother and sister time. We haven’t had that in a while and I feel like we’re falling too far apart, that if we don’t make more time for each other, we’ll end up as strangers. Mom and Dad miss you, too, but they’ve been keeping their distance, giving you time to get to know your new husband.”
Heart swelling in my chest, it staggered me to think that I’d missed the company and love of my family, but hadn’t thought about how long it had been since I’d spent time with them. Elijah and I had been married for a few months now. I was certain he’d want me going back to the way my life had been before marrying him.
“I’d like that. Where would you like to go? There aren’t many places that are safe. Elijah told us that.”
A shadow crossed behind his eyes, his expression souring before the shy smile returned. “Maybe just for a walk? I want to talk to you about something, but I –“ His voice trailed off, his gaze shooting past my shoulder towards a window. It was night outside and I knew he couldn’t see much, but still he stared as if gathering his thoughts.
“I just want some alone time with you. To talk and catch up. I feel like when we’re with the family, we never really get to hang out like we used to.”
It wasn’t that I felt leery about my brother. Except for what happened the night of the ceremony, he’d never led me astray, but something about his poor mood tonight drew my concern. “Is everything okay, Joshua? Did something happen to upset you?”
Shaking his head, he squeezed my hand. His smile stretched wider and the shadow behind his eyes dissipated. “I just miss you. I feel like ever since you’ve become a married woman, I’ve lost touch with my sister. I’d like to change that.”
My smile matched his. “Okay.”
A noise from the hallway outside my door grabbed his attention, his body twisted so that he could glance back to see if someone was coming in. When the door never opened, his shoulders relaxed and he squeezed my hand again.
Eyes locking to mine, he flashed me another smile before he said, “I should probably get going. Elijah wanted me to see to the children tonight and help Richard keep them away from the sanctuary.”
That caught my attention. “What’s going on in the sanctu
ary? Is Elijah giving another sermon?”
Reaching up to rub at his neck, he shook his head. “No. Nothing like that. I think he needs to deal with a guest, or whatever. It’s nothing for you to be concerned about.”
I knew which guest he was talking about after having already been out there to see him. But I didn’t want to admit who the man was that Elijah had brought into the compound. I couldn’t bring myself to admit the harsh fact that I’d almost given up my purity to a monster. It was far too disturbing. Far too harrowing. Far too…everything…for me to speak the words and make them true. But after tonight, after Elijah vanquished that monster, I knew my life would improve. What was he doing that he demanded the family keep their distance? It worried me and I wanted to know more.
“Okay,” I answered, not letting on that I knew more than I was admitting.
The mattress dipped beneath me as Joshua leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on my forehead. He was right in what he said: we had become distant in the past few months, my attention so wrapped up in Elijah and the demons that I’d practically forgotten about the people who loved me. I would fix that as soon as I was well again. I’d show them how much I missed them and work to correct whatever distance had grown between us.
“I’m going to go, Eve. But I’ll be around the compound tomorrow. If you get out for some exercise, come look for me in the garden. I want to show you how well the vegetables are doing, I swear the tomatoes are the size of your head.”
Laughter bubbled up from my lungs. “I’ll do that.”
I watched him leave a few seconds later, his boots heavy against the ground as he walked away. The door closed quietly behind him, and while I should have taken the moment alone to try again to sleep, I couldn’t help wondering what was happening in the sanctuary. Picking up my Bible, I continued reading passages, but found my mind wandering off so much that I was reading the same sentence over and over again.