by Marian Tee
“Stop thinking about that piece of shit. He’s not worth a second of your time.”
“I can’t help—” She couldn’t speak, the rest of her words swallowed by his kiss.
When he pulled away, Violet looked dazed. “You were saying?” Park smirked.
“Arrogant blond gorilla.”
Park only laughed because Violet had said the words so weakly it was obvious she was still reeling from his kiss. He loved how he affected her, and already his dick had stirred into life, wanting another round of possessing her sweet lovely body.
“Tell you what,” he said gallantly. “I’ll make you forget about him with our ‘harmless flirtations’.”
She rolled her eyes, saying dryly, “Am I supposed to be thankful? It feels like you’re just using this as a way to enjoy the rare and envied privilege of being able to make love to me, the most beautiful girl in school.”
Park snorted. “If that’s what I wanted, I would have asked Ayumi Sayo—”
Violet laughingly grabbed a pillow and hit him with it on the face. “Jerk!”
Park shrugged. “Violet, you’re my friend–I admit that freely now, but she is more beautiful than you are.”
Violet made a face because it was true, and of course Park would be the type to say it to her face even while he was still inside her. Stupid Asian Yeti. She sniffed. “It’s only because she’s taller and has bigger breasts than I do.”
“Oh, it’s more than that,” Park assured her. “She’s also smarter, and way more refined and—” This time, it was his words that got cut off by a kiss. When she moved away, she rose up, straddling him and not giving him a chance to talk as she started to ride him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, aroused beyond belief at the expert way she rode him.
“You were saying?” she asked in her most saccharine voice as she stopped moving.
He groaned. “Don’t fucking stop.”
She patted his cheek. “But I feel like I’m not pleasing you at all…I mean, I’m not the most beautiful girl in school and—”
“You’re the most fucking beautiful girl in the world.”
“Are you suuuuuure?”
He tried to lift his hips up but she pulled away, almost to the point of releasing his dick and Park groaned. “Yes, dammit.” He would say anything just to have her riding him so beautifully again.
She sank back into him, taking his dick in so deeply Park swore he could see stars. And then she was leaning down, whispering into his ear, “Now, I’m going to fuck you.”
And Park could only groan, hoping he would survive as Violet started to move to keep her promise.
* * * *
The days flew by and Violet was a little surprised to realize that yet another month had ended. She and Park had gotten so much closer since her ‘little breakdown’. That was how she preferred to call it even though she had to pretend she didn’t see Park rolling his eyes every time she used those words. She could have sworn he also muttered “It was the fucking opposite of little” under his breath, but she decided not to think about that too much. Men! They could be so bothersome with the details!
She and Park had gotten closer, too, unimaginably so, as if by admitting she needed Park to continue moving on and getting past what Andrew did gave both of them the freedom to be more open with each other. The feeling was scary yet exciting, but it was also something she could only keep to herself.
Today was yet another free period, with Violet’s professor called out to accept an urgent call. Park, seated two chairs behind, was sitting in with her class and acting like he totally had no clue that every girl but Violet was staring at him.
His arrogance truly knew no bounds, she thought, torn between exasperation and amusement.
“Violet?”
She blinked, realizing Hiroshi had been talking to her all the time she had been thinking about the way Park kept on trying to scare all the girls away with his perpetual scowl. “Sorry, I was thinking about our assignment,” she lied, so as not to hurt his feelings because Hiroshi was really one of the nicest guys she had ever met.
Hiroshi said quickly, “How about a study date so I can help you with it?”
“Ah…no…I…” Damn. Hiroshi looked so much like an abandoned puppy Violet felt she would be utterly heartless if she rejected him for the nth time.
Hearing the exchange, Park took pity–on Hiroshi,and drawled, “Sorry, man, we’re working overtime tomorrow.”
Relieved at the alibi Park had given her, Violet was about to agree when Hiroshi asked, “What about after? I don’t mind staying up late to help you out.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m, umm, really flattered…and thankful, but you really don’t have to put yourself out on my account. Park helps me with my lessons already so…” She trailed off, not knowing what else to say to let Hiroshi down gently.
Park suddenly found himself the object of the younger man’s scrutiny. He gazed back at Hiroshi expressionlessly even though he felt he was actually doing Hiroshi a favor. Practically every guy he knew in school thought Violet was such a babe. Of course they were all wrong. She was a spoiled brat, moody and demanding, and he truly pitied the man who would one day be unlucky enough to be Violet’s boyfriend.
“Are you guys dating?” Hiroshi asked abruptly.
“No!” Violet couldn’t sound any more aghast, making Park feel a little disgruntled.
Violet continued feelingly, “I’d never date someone like Park. Don’t you know he’s a total ogre inside?” She nodded emphatically to her mesmerized listeners. “He’s an absolute grouch and I like my guy to be sweet, you know. Someone who’d do anything for me—”
Park interrupted dryly, “What you need is a slave, not a boyfriend.”
Practically the entire class laughed, proof that everyone had been eavesdropping on their conversation.
She stuck out her tongue.
Hiroshi asked Park suspiciously, “You can seriously and honestly tell me you don’t want to date Violet?” Violet noticed the way the other girls held their breaths at the question, making her want to sigh. Poor naïve little darlings, she thought. They so didn’t know that underneath Park’s admittedly beautiful exterior lived a Nordic ogre who was so much worse than pre-Fiona Shrek.
Park answered, “Never in a million years. If I ever date, it would be someone demure, not a spoiled brat who wants her way in everything…”
“Newsflash, boy,” Violet cut him off with a sweet smile. “When you love someone, you definitely want to do everything for that person.” She fluttered her lashes at the boys around her. “Right, guys?”
“Idiots,” Park muttered under his breath, irritated but at the same time amused at the way all the guys in Violet’s class rushed to agree with her. But when one of the guys was so enthusiastic in his show of support he actually grabbed Violet’s hand, Park shot out of his seat, every cell of his body reacting negatively at seeing another man touch Violet.
“I’ll even offer my life for you,” the boy gripping her hand said fervently.
“Thank you, kind sir, but that’s too much.” Violet blew the guy a kiss even as she quickly but carefully drew her hand away, hoping no one would notice how she paled at the boy’s touch. Even now, she still wasn’t entirely comfortable with having anyone touch her but Park; the more any guy seemed to like her, the more wary and terrified Violet felt. Their open affection just reminded her too much of how Andrew had been at the start.
Park slowly sat back, relaxing at the speed with which Violet had withdrawn from the other man’s touch. Didn’t that fucking idiot know Violet belonged to him?
The thought made him pale. What the fuck? Did he just fucking think of Violet as his?
* * * *
“STOP!” Violet had to shout the word out when she couldn’t take it anymore, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. The way Park was walking; it was like they were competing in a freaking marathon! Didn’t the idiot realize she was wearing her favorite
boots? They were adorable to look at, but they were also five inches high! they definitely weren’t designed for speed walking.
Park grudgingly turned around at the irritation lining Violet’s voice. “What?”
“What is it with you?” she burst out, confused and furious at the same time. “You’ve been snapping at me since we left class.”
“It’s nothing,” he said, snapping again.
She stomped her foot in irritation. “It’s something!”
“It’s nothing. Now, let’s go or we’ll be late for work,” he said brusquely and resumed walking again.
Violet rushed to his side and pulled his arm hard until he was forced to stop. “Here’s the thing, Park. I like arguing with you, but only when we know it’s not serious, okay? I don’t like this so why don’t you just tell me what’s been pissing you off—” “Will you just shut up?”
Violet gritted her teeth, doing her best to control her temper even though she was itching to slap him. “Don’t do this, Park. Seriously. When I get angry, I get really angry, and you don’t want that to happen. If I made you mad for any reason, just give it to me straight—”
Park knew he was pushing it, but right now he didn’t care. All he knew was that he was in deep trouble, thinking about Violet the way he was. “Shut. Up. Do you know what that means?”
Violet’s normally expressive face turned into ice. “Yes. How about this? Fuck. Off. Do you know what that means?” And she walked away.
Damn.
Park ran after her. “Violet—”
A painful slap to his cheek greeted his entreaty.
“Go away.”
Shocked at the cold look on Violet’s face, Park let her go. “Violet—”
But Violet had already hailed a cab, and with her looks, she had one instantly driving to the curb and she got in without looking back.
When Park arrived at work, Violet was already there, all smiles and laughter with their co-workers. He walked to her and touched her shoulder. “Violet—”
She froze him into silence and Park took his hand away. Violet turned her back to him and as if nothing happened, she said to Jun-Yee, “What were you saying again?”
Apparently, when Violet said it was bad to get her angry, she meant it.
Park then had to stand by as Violet spoke to everyone but him. Violet laughed and flirted with Jun-Yee, which made him grit his teeth. She cooed at Crayon, making him want to slam his fist into something. But he did none of those because he wasn’t supposed to do any of those.
When their manager called Violet out for special instructions, Park wasn’t surprised when everyone immediately crowded around him.
“What the heck did you do to piss her off like that?” Gladys asked.
Park said nothing.
“How are you going to get back to her good graces?” Midori wanted to know.
Park wanted to know that, too.
“Well, I, for one, am taking advantage of Park’s misfortune,” Akito joked. “I’m going to ask her out—” He caught sight of Park’s deadly glare and said weakly, “and then I’m going to ask Park out and they can go out together and mend fences.” He ended his words with a sour note, making everyone laugh.
* * * *
Violet’s temper had sufficiently cooled down by the time they clocked out of work. Lilac had always told her she had a volcanic temper, erupting and then hibernating until the next explosion.
When she stepped out, Violet was only half-surprised to see Park waiting for her.
“Hey.”
She raised a brow.
“I’m…sorry.” The words sounded like they were torn out from him.
Violet wanted to smile but didn’t. She wasn’t letting him get off that lightly.
When she just continued looking at him, Park exhaled and said, “I had a little problem but I have it all sorted out now. I’m sorry if I took it out on you.”
“What was it about?”
“It’s already—”
“What, I repeat, was it about?” She crossed her arms. “Was it something to do with me?”
“Yes,” he acknowledged reluctantly.
Violet stilled as her worst fears attacked her. “Park.” She tried to keep her voice calm even though she had an appalling urge to break down. “Is it because you’ve thought about what happened to me and you—”
“No! Fuck, no!” Park couldn’t believe he had made Violet think that, and he wanted to beat himself up for it. “I will never blame you for that, will never be ashamed of you for that,” he told her fiercely. “And you know I’m too much of a jerk to fucking lie just to spare a person’s feelings so believe me when I tell you that.”
Her relief was so strong her entire body shook with it. Violet asked slowly, “Then…what’s bothering you?”
Park said reluctantly, “If I tell you the truth, it’s going to change things.”
She almost backed out but steadied herself. She had never been a coward and she wouldn’t start now. “Stop beating around the bush.”
“This morning, when people were teasing us, and you blew out a kiss to the small guy—”
“His name is Tom,” she said dryly.
“Yeah, whatever the fuck his name was.”
Park’s disdainful tone tempted her to smile and she would have if only she wasn’t feeling suddenly nervous, too. When he didn’t say anything else, she prompted him a little shakily, “And?”
“I didn’t fucking like seeing another guy touching you, Violet.” Park’s voice was hard.
Violet couldn’t breathe. “Because?”
“Because I was thinking like you were mine.”
Chapter Twelve
“You’re right. We shouldn’t have talked about this.” She was in a daze. Park thought she belonged to him. Should she start running away now?
“I told you so.” Park snorted.
She glared at him. “Stop rubbing it in.”
Park shook his head. “What the fuck are we going to do now?”
“Quiet and let me think,” she snapped.
“You never think,” Park said seriously.
“Shut up,” she said without heat.
“All right,” he said, but he grabbed her hand and they walked back home in silence.
He really thought she was his? Violet couldn’t believe that had been Park thinking. “Are you in love with me?” she blurted out.
“God, no!”
She glared at him. “You don’t have to sound so disgusted.”
And because he was wary of making her angry again, Park said hastily, “It’s not that. It’s because I don’t like falling love in the first place. You know that.”
“Why don’t you like to fall in love?” she asked. “I let you know about Andrew,” she reminded him.
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
She waited.
About three minutes passed before Park found the right words to say. “I was pretty young when it happened. I met her when I was sixteen and fell instantly in love. I asked her out, she said yes, and later on, when I told her I loved her, she said she loved me, too. She was a year older than I was and she left for college first. It had only been a month since she was gone when I got this call from her.”
Violet almost told him to stop because she felt like she knew what he was about to say.
“She said that we two didn’t suit anymore. Just like that, she told me that she had fucking fallen out of love with me.”
He remembered the day clearly as if it had only happened an hour ago. He had been excited then, thinking that Vanessa had decided to surprise him with a visit. Well, it had been a fucking surprise, mostly because of how bored she sounded as she broke up with him. Park had a feeling that moment would live him forever, scarring him in a way that would never heal.
Park turned to Violet, his lips twisting in cynicism and bitterness. “I was depressed for months. I couldn’t understand how she could break up with me just like that. She had fucking fallen out
of love? What the fuck did that mean? We had been going out for almost two years and then just like that, after one month of separation she had fucking fallen out of love?”
Her heart ached for him. “I’m so sorry, Park.”
“It’s nothing. I mean, after I learned what that fucking little shit did to you, what happened to me was nothing—”
She shook her head. “Heartbreak is heartbreak, Park. It hurts, no matter the reason.” She squeezed his hand.
He smiled humorlessly. “Well, that’s it. Simple, huh?”
“It’s usually the simplest reasons that make us cry the most.”
Park gave her a mocking look of shock. “When did you get so smart?”
“Just a flash of brilliance,” she quipped. “But now I’m a brainless bimbo again.”
He frowned. “You’ve never been that, Violet, and I don’t want you to refer to yourself like that again.”
When they reached the street leading to their dorm, Violet ventured, “Is it because you’re afraid of getting hurt that you don’t want to fall in love again?”
She looked so seriously concerned about him Park was tempted to kiss her frown away. But talking about the past had made him feel volatile, and he didn’t trust himself with her like this. “How can I explain this? I loved her, and she loved me…at the start. But after what she did, I also realized that love just isn’t enough. Neither is it built to last. Sooner or later, you will get hurt. So why should I risk it?”
“But Park…” Violet gazed at him searchingly. “You really think it’s smart to let the past prevent you from falling in love again? Are you really fine being alone forever?”
“I’m not saying no to a relationship,” he told her evenly. “I’m just saying ‘no’ to the illusions–and delusions–of love.”
“Like love without the words.”
“Or companionship without pretensions.”
She nodded. “I got it now.” They were back inside their dorm and she tiptoed to kiss Park on the cheek. “Good night, Park.”
He didn’t call her back to stay with him in his room, and Violet hadn’t expected him to. She didn’t want him to because she did get it now, and it gave her a lot to think about.