“Shhh,” Roman soothed. “You’re okay, Ace, you’re okay.” he rubbed my back up and down and I realized my body was shaking.
“I’m not,” I admitted. I was far from okay. Logan broke me.
“You will be. I have never met someone as strong as you in the many lifetimes I’ve lived. You can do this, Ace. I have no doubt that you will make history, and everyone will remember your name for years to come because you’re legendary. It’s who you’re destined to be.”
I sucked in a breath. “Well destiny sucks. I want a refund.”
Roman laughed. “It’s been over thirty days and you don’t have a receipt. I think you’re out of luck.”
Chapter Three
After saying goodbye to Roman and Emma, I was exhausted. The past few days caught up to me and I only wanted to sleep—for the rest of the week. I deserved that much at least. Nevertheless, Amy and I were on our way home, having left the boys in Brooklyn to pack up a few things before they hit the road to Little Falls.
The Brooklyn Pack was to stay at the Cadwell Estate per Sebastian’s orders. They were arranging the Lunas funerals and figuring out what to do with the Pack now that the Alpha and Beta weren’t going to be around for who knows how long. I felt guilty for having put them in this situation—at risk of facing death because of me, but they were a stubborn bunch. Arguing was a waste of energy. I could only imagine what Charles would say when they break the news of their tribunal—thankfully I wouldn’t be around when they did.
Amy wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral of the Lunas, and I was discouraged from making an appearance as well—but I wouldn’t let that stop me from saying goodbye to my friends. I’d be there, front row and center stage.
Amy and I would be staying in the city. I needed rest, stability, and to spend some time away from anything wolf-related. I needed a break from this lifestyle because two weeks from now, I would be neck deep in everything Lycan. I was going to their Vatican city, with no humans around for miles.
We took the long way home instead of taking a cab to our apartment, with Lincoln trailing beside us in his SUV. The silence between us was comfortable as we strolled through the city. We passed the Mejia’s bodega; it was closed pending a police investigation and repairs. I winced as the memory of my attack in their store flashed through my mind. I’d been very close to not making it out alive that day. It was the first time Logan had attempted to kidnap me. I wanted to bang my head through a wall for thinking about that monster. I didn’t want to keep getting reminded of the bastard that tried to violate me. It was unfair and cruel that he still tormented me after death.
I’d been so distracted by my thoughts, it wasn’t until Amy nudged me that I saw Detective Garret Michaels sitting on the stoop of our building. He wore jeans and a t-shirt—his badge nowhere in sight—he was off-duty.
“Detective,” I greeted him. Amy glanced my way and I attempted to give her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be up in a minute,” I said. She hesitated before going inside.
“Grey,” Garret said as he stood. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. “I believe this belongs to you.”
“You’d be right,” I said and moved to grab it. He pulled his hand back.
“Not so fast there, Grey. I believe you owe me an explanation.”
This was not the time for inquiring minds. I wanted a proper shower, some ice cream, and to lay in bed for a few days. This was not part of my plan—I hadn’t thought about what I was going to tell Michaels. The easiest thing to do was the hardest.
I sighed. “It’s better if I just show you.”
“Show me what?”
I didn’t know the rules to this, but no one ever said anything about Amy knowing my secret. One more human wouldn’t hurt…right?
“Come on,” I motioned for him to follow me. “We need privacy.”
He waited a beat before he joined me in the back lot of my apartment building. It was abandoned, with patches of dried grass and dirt. Soda cans and brown paper bags littered the ground as we stepped over them to the center of the lot.
“This better not be a trick, Grey. Or some rash that needs medical attention.”
I snorted. “Trust me, Michaels, you’re the last person I’d show a rash to.”
“Well, what is it then?”
I shook my hands at my sides, trying to relax the nerves I felt from what I was going to do. This could be a colossal mistake but I was too tired to think up a lie and I was a hundred percent sure that Garret would not leave until I told him something. If I left the country without giving him some sort of explanation, he might put me at the top of America’s Most Wanted list.
“Don’t freak out, okay?” I warned.
He rolled his eyes. “It’s a rash, I knew it.”
“Would you shut up about a damn rash and listen! I need you to promise not to freak out. No screaming or running away, and most importantly, you can’t tell a single soul about what you’re about to see. Got it?”
“How big is this rash?” he quirked an eyebrow.
“Big.”
I took in a deep breath, with my eyes diverted to the littered ground, I tapped into my inner wolf and awoke her from her slumber. She too was exhausted.
My neck craned from side to side as my face morphed into half wolf, half human. The prune-like ripples scrunched my face to make way for my muzzle and canines. My claws extended and the hair on my arms thickened. Gray eyes turned silver as I looked up into the bewildered stare of Garret Michaels.
“W-What the hell are you?” he choked, reaching for a holstered gun that wasn’t there.
I licked my lips, my tongue brushing my sharp canines. “I’m a werewolf.”
He paused. Then his eyes started to grow inch by inch as realization of what he was seeing and hearing was real. He sputtered something unintelligent and started to back away. Michaels tripped over his own feet and fell on his ass.
“Are you ok—”
“Don’t touch me!” he yelled. Warding me off with shaky hands. “Just…just stay where you are.”
I felt my stomach tighten with dread. Had this been a mistake?
“I’m not going to hurt you Garret. You wanted an explanation, you got it. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already.”
“B-But how? How is this possible?”
I cocked my head. “Do you mean the existential question, ‘Why are we here?’ Or scientifically ‘How the hell am I a wolf?’”
“Both!” he exclaimed.
“Honestly? I have no freakin’ clue,” I shrugged.
Taking a step back, I morphed my features back to my human self, less scary for Garret.
“What the hell…” he exhaled.
“Look, I don’t have the patience right now and I’m tired as hell so I’m going to give you a quick-and-dirty run down of what happened. Okay?”
He nodded, eyes wide.
“I recently found out that I’m adopted and the sperm donor is none other than the Lycan King. Every wolf found out and has tried to kidnap me because of it. For example, the incident at the bodega. A lot of shit has gone down, but I’m getting a bit of a reprieve from all this mess. I just want to sleep. Can we deal with your shock later?”
“A-Are you not afraid I’ll tell someone?”
I shrugged. “At this point, I don’t even care. Who would believe you anyways?”
“So…all those cases…did you…?”
“Yes,” I chuckled. “I used my wolf senses to help you solve your cases.”
His eyes grew smaller, less afraid. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.
“Do you hurt people like me?” he asked.
“Do you mean humans?” I laughed. “No, I don’t.”
“Do—”
“Michaels, if I were a bad person, you’d know. And I think you know that too. I wanted to become a cop because I want to help people. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. You’re going to believe what you want either way, so stop with the twenty o
ne questions.”
Garret got up from the ground and dusted the dirt off his jeans—his eyes never leaving me—scared I’d pounce on him at any moment. I could still smell the fear on him. The predator in me should have reacted but I had spilled too much blood in the last few days. The lust was gone, replaced by nausea.
“Your friend—the red head—does she know?”
I didn’t answer right away. Telling him if Amy knew was a risk I wasn’t sure I wanted to take, especially when I wouldn’t be around to look after her. I lied. “No, she doesn’t know.”
He nodded. “I just need to know one more thing,” he muttered.
“Shoot.”
“Los Angeles, what were you doing there?”
I smirked. Michaels wasn’t stupid, he’s a cop after all. “I was part of a secret supernatural investigative unit within the LAPD.”
“Do we have one in New York?”
“I don’t know,” I said as I turned around to leave.
“Where are you going?” he shouted.
“I’m going to be gone for a while. I have to handle some stuff,” I said over my shoulder, “but why don’t you find out about that secret unit in the meantime.”
“Grey,” he called out. My eyes met his. “Stay safe.”
Chapter Four
Lincoln had been parked outside of my apartment for the last two days. Another SUV situated across the street probably waited for me to make a run for it. They didn’t need to worry. Amy and I had been holed up in our apartment eating crappy take-out and binge-watching on Netflix. Lincoln came upstairs a few times to make sure we hadn’t found some secret escape route. The whole ordeal was absurd and a bit insulting. If I were going to run, I wouldn’t have waited two days and two seasons of Penny Dreadful to do it.
Jackson wanted to stay with us but Charles wasn’t letting him leave Cadwell Estate. We hadn’t seen the boys, but last night we got the call that today was the Lunas’ funerals.
I’d never been to a funeral before. My grandma Daisy passed away, but I was too young to remember.
I was afraid of leaving Amy alone, so I convinced Lincoln to stay with her while I was gone. It was a battle to get him to agree, but I won when I reminded him she was human and if they didn’t want me to run away again, then staying with her was their best bet. One phone call to the King cleared up that issue and I grinned at the effects of my threats.
The familiar trail through the Cadwell Estate nearly brought me to tears. The only thing keeping me together was the thought that in less than two weeks, I would be on my way to seek justice for my friends and the many innocent Lunas that lost their lives in such a senseless act.
Jonah tried to get me to stay in the city, but I refused. I knew Charles didn't want me there. I wasn't his favorite person to begin with—now I never would be—but I was okay with that. It didn’t matter whether I was liked or not. They could all go to hell for all I cared. The image running through my mind was Blu's lifeless body being carried out of the woods by Mohammad—one of the Pack Captains.
As the taxi pulled up to the driveway and I stepped out, I met many glares from the Northeastern Pack. It was like when I first showed up in Brooklyn. I deserved it this time. If it weren't for me, their Lunas would still be alive. Many sleepless nights had gone by as I stayed up wishing I could take their place. If I had just listened to Lucian and gone to Colombia instead of listening to La Loba and thinking I was this prophesized savior, we could have avoided everything. I wasn't anything but a bastard wolf who didn't fit in this world. It wasn't self-pity, it was the truth and I’m okay admitting it.
“Get back in your cab and leave. This is a private event,” Mohammad barked as the taxi peeled out of the drive way, sending gravel to my ankles.
“I'm not going anywhere,” I said, dusting myself off. I wore a modest, long-sleeve black dress, with shiny black wedges I found in the abyss of my closet.
Mohammad growled. “You might have them fooled, but I know better. They'll die following you.”
They.
Sebastian and Jonah. Maybe even Jackson.
I swallowed loudly as I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn't—I would be their downfall.
“And you know it,” he sneered.
“Mohammad!” Bernard yelled as he came from out of the woods beside the estate.
“Another victim,” Mohammad growled before running into the woods. I didn't look away from his disappearing frame as he shifted into a wolf and was gone, his clothes discarded behind him.
Bernard came up to me and it had been the first time I'd seen him since I left New York the first time.
“What are you doing here?” I jolted from my thoughts. “You're supposed to be in South America.”
“I was,” he murmured. “When I heard what happened, I was relieved from my duties with the Tracker Pack and allowed to leave early.”
“Oh,” was all I could say. I should have been more excited, I should have hugged him, done something. Bernard made a huge sacrifice for me and I hadn't even thanked him. When I first disappeared he volunteered to do a year in the South American Pack that hunts and kills lone-wolves. To prevent that from happening to me, he pledged a year of loyalty to that Pack and left.
“Are you alright?” Bernard asked, his hand going to my upper arm, keeping me up-right. He appeared the same, maybe bigger. He had this whole lumberjack look going for him, with the scruffy, untamed reddish beard. The complete opposite to Jackson’s clean-cut hipster beard.
“I'm okay,” I gave him a weak smile. “How are you? How was South America? Thank you by the way...I heard what you did,” I rambled.
His cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “It was nothing. None of us wanted to see you in danger, Kenz.”
“Thanks either way. It was a huge sacrifice, and I don't know if I deserved it.”
“Hey,” he grunted. “Don't let guys like Mohammad make you second guess yourself. You didn't kill Blu or any of the others.”
“Yeah...but it’s because—”
“No,” he barked. “I might not agree with your cause, Kenzie, but I know a little something about consent. Each one of those Lunas chose to do what they did. No one forced them, and they knew the consequences of their actions.”
“That might be, but the guilt is still there,” I sighed.
“It will be—for a very long time. You need to start forgiving yourself now.”
I peered up at the giant wolf and grinned. “When did you get all philosophical and shit?”
He chuckled. “Glad your humor is still intact.”
“Always,” I winked.
Bernard steered me to the woods where everyone was headed, but I pulled away.
“I don't know if I should, Bern. I'm unwanted. Maybe I should wait until after the burial and pay my respects then.”
He shook his head. “You have every right as everyone else to attend. If it makes you feel any better, I'll stand with you in the back to not attract attention. Sound good?”
With reluctance, I let him lead me further into the estate.
If this had been any other time, I would have thrown my middle finger in the air and told everyone to suck it, but too much had happened recently that had me questioning myself and my reactions. It was my hot headedness that got us in the predicament that we were in. Maybe I was being too hard on myself, but it didn't take the feeling of guilt away.
The burial wasn't too far into the woods. I could hear the others before we saw the clearing. I wished Amy would have been allowed to come, she was devastated when Jackson told her humans weren't permitted. During my absence, Blu had stepped up and kept her company when she was in the warehouse. They'd gotten close and I ripped that friend away from Amy.
According to Jackson, the ceremony was not meant for humans to see; one of the few traditions kept secret even from other supernaturals. Only a handful of others have ever witnessed. No one would tell me what happens during these ceremonies and it made me nervous. Are the
y sacrificing virgins? Drinking goats’ blood? Killing chickens? It was probably something tame and I was letting my imagination run wild.
We entered the clearing where most of the Northeastern Pack was in attendance. Some in human form, others in their wolf form. It was mesmerizing to see how normal it all was, and that no one wore black. I expected black clothing—or even white—but everyone was casual, like they were going for a run afterwards. Maybe they were. Either way, I was extremely overdressed.
“What’s everyone waiting for?” I asked Bernard who had started to take off his shirt.
“The burning of the dead,” he said. “Once they are ash, we let the wind take half and bury the rest. Burning their bodies releases them from the physical plane and lets them move on.”
“What happens if their bodies aren't burnt?”
“They'll be tied to the land until they are. It’s very dangerous for them to stay because anyone would be able to summon them at will. They're susceptible to evil deeds, which is why it's important to burn their bodies as soon as possible.”
Made sense, I wouldn't want to be floating around the estate being an onlooker. That was creepy thinking they were watching us now.
“Are they...” I peered around.
“Yes they're watching. Until we set them free.”
“Oh. I'm sure they're cursing me to hell right about now,” I mumbled, feeling an itch in the back of my neck. It was my imagination again but I felt like someone was watching. Yeah, definitely all in my head.
“Mackenzie,” Bernard scolded. “Cut yourself some slack.”
Easy for him to say. He didn't get dozens of Lunas killed.
“So why bury their ash? Seems like that would tie them to our world.”
“We bury some of their ash as an offering to the land—for prosperity. If you haven't noticed, as wolves we're very in tune with the earth. We respect mother nature and all that she gives us, so we offer her parts of us in gratitude.”
“Oh, frisky,” I winked.
“Kenzie,” he rolled his eyes. “It's respect.”
“Why is it so secret then? Seems pretty simple, not really a big deal,” I shrugged.
ALPHA (Mackenzie Grey #3) Page 3