“You haven’t heard?” I whispered. Jonah quirked a brow and I was going to be sick. I reached for his hand and said, “We need to talk.”
****
Guards marched Jonah and I into the throne room where Alexander, Sebastian and Lucian were waiting. Jonah was spaced out after I told him about Amy, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Cosima and Scarlet were huddled in a corner, hugging each other as if one of them might disappear soon. Cosima kissed Scar’s forehead repeatedly as she brushed away the strands that had come out of her braids.
Thank you, Cosima mouthed as I passed by. I nodded and gave her a small smile as I went up to the dais where Alexander sat. Cosima and Scarlet left the room quietly.
“Drew?” the King asked and I shook my head.
“He’s in the Fae Realm,” I said.
Alexander turned to his right, “Send out a notice to all Packs. The treaty between the Lycans and the Fae is broken. Seal the gates and if a Fae is seen, they are to be killed on sight.” He turned back to me and I saw Ranulf hustle from behind the throne and out the room. I hadn’t seen or smelled him.
“You really want to start a war with the Fae?” I quirked a brow. That sounded like a horrible idea. The Lycan had a lot of wounds to heal before diving into another battle.
He shook his head. “Once the Fae Realm gates are sealed, they will never be allowed back into our world. There won’t be a war. It’s over, Mackenzie.”
“We cannot show weakness,” Sebastian said. “They have broken the accords, we have no choice but to keep them out.”
“We always have a choice.”
“Nae right now,” Alexander said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “On to pressing matters. My cease fire is going to come with many repercussions—especially in America. The Lunas were on the verge of overpowering the Packs and many lives were lost. The waters are calm for now, but it won’t be for long.”
“I agree. What do we do?”
“We wait,” Alexander sighed. “It is nae the time to encourage a civil war.”
I turned to Lucian who had his head down and his arms behind his back. For the first time, his hair was not in a pony tail—his blond locks flowed just above his shoulder and tucked behind his ears.
“What about Amy? Is she alive?” I walked toward him but he put a hand up to stop me.
“No she is not alive—she’s the walking dead,” his black eyes glared at me. I ignored his anger, I didn’t care. Amy was still here, she would be for a very long time.
“Is she awake? Can I see her? When—”
“She does not wish to speak with you,” Lucian cut me off. “Jackson is currently looking after her. I only came to inform you that I will be taking her back to the States and I will contact you when she’s ready to talk.”
I paled as my jaw dropped and I could hear the crack of my heart. “She—she doesn’t want to see me?”
“You have to give her time,” Jonah whispered as he reached for my hand. I couldn’t feel him.
“Why?” my vision blurred as I held in my tears. “I saved her—”
“You cursed her!” Lucian exclaimed. If he wasn’t a vampire, I imagined his cheeks would have been blazing red at the moment. “All that talk about having a choice and freedom is rubbish! You took her choice away and now you’ve condemned her to an eternal life of misery!”
“I—”
Lucian sighed as he ran his hands down his pale and tired face. “I know you meant well, Pet,” he relented. “But what you’ve done, what I did, cannot be forgiven easily. She’s fine, don’t worry about her. When she’s ready, she’ll come to you. For now, stay far away.”
The vampire passed by without looking at me as he went to the throne room doors.
“Wait Luce, please—”
Jonah held me back as Lucian exited without giving me a second glance.
“He’s angry, darling,” Alexander murmured. “It was not an easy decision for him to break his abstinence.”
“What?” I scrunched my brows inward.
“Ye did nae know? Lucian has not turned another human for over a century. I believe the last time he did was for a boy in America.” Roman.
My stomach turned and I imagined how much Lucian hated me. He needed space from me too.
“Would ye lads mind if I had a moment with Mackenzie,” Alexander requested, but we knew it was a demand.
“Of course,” Jonah said and he squeezed my hand before letting it go.
Sebastian paused before me and I held my breath.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded, curbing the urge to drag him up to my room. I didn’t want to think—I needed a distraction and he was perfect.
“You did well, Mackenzie. We’ll be home soon,” he said and left the room.
I stood there with my hands at my side, stuck in the same dilemma I’d been in for the past two years. Who to choose? Go home or stay in Scotland—Sebastian or Jonah?
When the door closed shut, I flinched at the heavy sound it made and Alexander chuckled.
“After all that’s happened, the door scares ye?” he laughed.
“I’m just jumpy,” I muttered. His gray eyes narrowed. “What? I can’t be shaken up?”
“Aye, but that’s nae what has ye as ye say ‘jumpy’,” he said. “Is this about Amy?”
I sighed and dug my hands in my jean pockets. “It’s about everything. Amy, the Lunas…Ivana,” I whispered her name. “I’m drained.”
He grimaced at the mention of her name. “That’s normal, darling. Ye’ve been running for a long time. Ye can relax, Mackenzie. Ye donnae have to run anymore. I promise ye.”
“I know.” And I did. For some odd reason, I believed him. This was over—no more fighting and no more hiding—he would make sure of it. “How do you feel about uh…you know who.” I didn’t want to say her name.
He sunk in his seat and rubbed at his face. “I feel guilty.”
My eyes widened. “Why? It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should have known, I should have seen the signs.”
I shook my head. “No one could have figured it out. She had Cosima chained in the dungeons to do her bidding and a deal with the Fae Queen.”
“If it was nae for ye, I would have never known,” he smiled.
I snorted. “I wouldn’t get too excited. I caused more of a mess than anything.”
“Ye did it the best way ye could, donae put yerself down. Theirs nae a single Luna in the world that would have had the nerve to do what ye’ve done.”
I exhaled loudly. “How can you still like me?” I threw my hands in the air. “I destroyed your home, divided your people, and left you without a family. You should hate me right now!”
I didn’t hate myself, I was done with the self-pity, but I wouldn’t be hurt if Alexander despised me after what I’d done.
He laughed. “Yer so dramatic, Mackenzie, I could never hate ye. Ye’ve opened my eyes to what I’ve been blind to. Ye have nae destroyed anything,” he paused. He stood from his throne and strode toward me. “Which is why I want ye to stay, darling. I want ye to help me rebuild our world, by my side where ye should have been from the very beginning.” Alexander grabbed my hands and held them. They were a bit sweaty and I presumed he was nervous. Those soft eyes with wrinkles at the creases waited expectantly for my response—of which I was at a loss for words.
“I don’t know, Alexander. My life is back in New York City…my family is there,” I reddened.
His face fell and he released me. “I understand.”
“How about a compromise?” I backtracked. “I can stay a little while longer. We can get to know each other for real this time—start from the beginning.”
He smiled. “I would love that.” He outstretched his hand for me to shake. “Ello, my name is Alexander MacCoinnich.”
I laughed and shook his hand. “Hi, I’m Mackenzie Grey. It’s nice to meet you.”
Chapter Thirty Four
One Month
Later
“Come on, Chickie, ye donae have all day,” Helena hollered from the common room.
“One second!” I yelled from the closet as I dragged a duffle bag filled with as much clothes as I could stuff it with. “Damn it, I should have asked for Ranulf’s help,” I murmured to myself.
What the hell did I fill it with? Bricks? I’m a wolf for god sake, I should be able to lift it with my damn pinky.
“Need help?” Sebastian grunted from the doorway.
“No,” I snorted.
“You’re so stubborn,” he said as he reached for the bag and flung it over his shoulder.
“I could have done it myself!”
“Sure.”
I rolled my eyes behind his back as he walked out to the common room where Helena and a few guards waited for us. It was our last day in Scotland—the adventure was over.
“Aw, Chickie, ye wrinkled yer shirt. Come here,” Helena fussed over me.
I swatted her away. “Stop, Granny, I’m okay. All of my clothes are wrinkled.”
She twisted her lips. “Ye need an iron.”
“I have a dry cleaners.”
Helena smacked my arm. “Learn to fend for yerself, Chickie. Donae make me come out to America and show ye.”
I laughed. “I will, I promise,” I said as I held up three fingers. “Girl Scouts honor.”
“Don’t believe her, Helena,” Sebastian interrupted. “She was never a Girl Scout.”
I kicked him as he grabbed my last bag and handed it to the guards. “Snitch,” I mumbled.
“Well come on, Chickie. Give me a hug before ye go,” Helena pulled me into her warm arms. I held her longer than I expected. I was going to miss this woman. In the past month we had gotten to know each other so much more than we already had. She told me all about Alexander when he was young, and even spoke about Adaline. She didn’t know much, having been as much in the dark as the others, but she remembered Adaline’s time in the castle. The best part? Hearing her stories of when Helena was Queen. She lived a life full of adventure and love. I was glad her servitude to the royal family was officially over. Alexander got his mother a small cottage on the Castle Grounds—she didn’t want a room in the castle anymore—and she was coming and going as she pleased. Their relationship would eventually heal—hopefully.
“I’m going to miss you, Granny,” I whispered in her ear.
“As will I,” she pulled away and patted my cheek. Her face streaked with tears, and her bottom lip trembled. “Ye beautiful, courageous girl. Promise ye’ll call and visit whenever ye can.”
I grinned. “As long as you make me some Cranachan, I will come whenever you want.”
She winked. “Anytime, Chickie.”
****
The guards had loaded the helicopter with our bags while we hung out by the stables. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Shadow. While I was still on the fence with him, I rode him every single day this past month. I was going to miss those morning rides with Alexander. We had gotten to spend so much time together that it was going to be weird not seeing him anymore. I kissed Shadow goodbye, and he huffed and neighed. Did he know I was leaving?
“You should talk to him,” Sebastian said as I stroked Shadow’s mane.
“Who?”
“Jonah.”
My stomach dropped and my hand stilled. Jonah. I’d been avoiding him the last few days. I knew what he wanted and I couldn’t give it to him. Who knew what the future would bring, but for now, staying in Scotland wasn’t an option.
“I don’t want to break his heart,” I said and looked into Shadows beady eyes. They still creeped me out.
“You already did, Mackenzie. He isn’t oblivious, and he’s a big boy. He can handle it. Go and talk to him or you’ll regret it,” Sebastian said and walked out of the stables.
I took a few minutes before building up the courage to face the music. How could I lead a revolution but not be able to turn someone down? I needed a shrink.
The minute I stepped out of the stables, I lifted my nose and sniffed the air. Jonah’s scent was easy to spot, and I made my way back to Castle Mac.
Standing in the garden with his back to me, I waited for Jonah to acknowledge my arrival. I didn’t need to make an introduction, he knew I was there. Surrounded by the white roses of Scotland, he stood with his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Without him turning around, I knew he was wearing the gold Celtic triquetra pin on the collar of his white button up. He was now part of the Kings Council.
“I thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye,” he broke the silence.
“I almost did,” I said. “It’s not easy—”
“To break my heart?” he interrupted.
I grunted. “Of course you were listening.”
“Is there anything I can say to change your mind—to make you stay?” he murmured.
I felt a single tear slide down my face. I quickly wiped it away and cleared my throat. “This isn’t where I belong, Jonah—but you do. You found your calling and I couldn’t be happier, but you can’t expect me to follow you.”
“You’re willing to follow him,” he said.
“I’m not following anyone!” I exclaimed. “Damn it, Jonah, I just want to go home. This is not my world and you know it,” I continued to speak to his back. “It’s yours and there is so much good you can do.”
“Are you and Sebastian together?”
I shook my head. “No, we’re not.”
“Why?”
“Not that I have to explain myself to you, but I need to be alone. I might have gained my freedom but the consequences have shattered my world. I need to pick up the pieces before I can even think about being with anyone.” I walked toward him and rested my forehead between his shoulders blades. I clutched his shirt and breathed in his scent.
“Mackenzie,” he warned.
“Please, Jonah. Please don’t hate me,” I whispered.
His body relaxed and he spun around. Those milk chocolate eyes were the saddest I’d ever seen them. “I don’t, Kenz. I could never.”
“Just hold me,” I wrapped my arms around his mid waist and waited for him to hug me in return.
“You make it so hard for me,” he said as he held me. In his arms it felt safe, familiar. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or bad, but it felt good all the same.
We stood in silence in each other’s arms for the last time in a while. My mind took me to the first time I saw Jonah, around the corner from my apartment in Alphabet City as I was running home before the change took over me—a time when I was moon-bound. I had never seen anyone so beautiful before in my life. Since that moment, he took it upon himself to watch over me, and he did. Some of his tactics were questionable, but I never doubted where his heart stood.
“I don’t know how to walk away,” I muttered into his chest. “I can’t imagine a life without you, Jo.”
He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll always be here, Kenzie. No amount of distance could keep me away. You only have to say the word.”
I nodded.
“You were always meant for something more; a greater purpose. This is only the start, Kenz. Your adventure is just beginning.”
****
The last person I needed to say goodbye to, was the most important. He waited for me in the throne room where we had spent many a nights slouched on the thrones eating junk food and watching movies. He had a TV installed once I introduced him to Netflix—like father like daughter.
“I thought I could change yer mind,” he sighed as he sat on his throne.
“Is that why you’ve been hanging out with me, old man?” I chuckled.
He rolled his eyes. “Yer meant to sit by my side, Mackenzie. Its yer destiny.”
I bit my lip. I wasn’t going to disagree—I didn’t believe in destiny or fate—but I understood responsibility. As the last heir to the throne, one day I might just be seated on that dais.
“One day possibly, b
ut not today. I need to live my life, and being a Princess is not part of it. I hope you can understand.”
“More than ye know, darling,” he smiled. “Did I ever tell ye the meaning of yer name?”
I quirked a brow. “I didn’t know it had a meaning.”
He nodded enthusiastically. “Aye, yer mum was a clever lass. She gave ye the one name that would link ye to me forever. MacCoinnich is Scottish Gaelic for Mackenzie. So no matter where ye go, or who ye become, you will always be a MacCoinnich.”
With my mouth agape, I couldn’t help but stand there like an idiot. How had I never looked up the meaning of my name?
“When the time comes, Mackenzie, ye will have to return.”
“I know,” I gulped. I was the future Queen of the Lycan.
****
The sound of the helicopter blades was louder than I remembered. I ran across the drawbridge to where the others waited. Sebastian had already said his goodbye—the most awkward being with Jonah—and he waited for me in the copter. What I had always dreaded came true…I destroyed their friendship.
Scarlet and Ranulf were there with Jonah and Alexander to see us off. I went up to the guard first as he stood by the King.
“Do you like me yet?” I shouted over the noise. My forearm over my face to cover it from the harsh winds.
“No!” Ranulf yelled. “Yer a stupid girl, but I would nae have ye any other way. Have a safe trip, Princess,” he winked.
Scarlet stood by Jonah and I didn’t need to say a word. I pulled her into a hug as if she were Amy. “Thank you for everything, Scar. I owe you more than you’ll ever know.”
“You don’t owe me a thing. Just promise to visit me in Maine.”
“Pinky promise,” we interloped our pinkies. “Stay out of trouble, little witch.”
“Same to you,” she laughed.
With a final goodbye, I ran across the grass to the waiting helicopter. Once inside, a guard sealed it shut and the noise was cancelled out. I sat across from Sebastian who was already strapped in his seat.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“No,” I shook my head. “But I will be.”
ALPHA (Mackenzie Grey #3) Page 28