by Claire Adams
I chuckled and reached for my purse. I fished out a twenty and tossed it to her. She caught it and winked at me. “Thank you.” I closed the door in her face. She was a real piece of work, and I would bet my next payday that she still had an agenda. I just was not sure what it was – or if I cared to put any effort into finding that out.
*****
The next three days at work left me exhausted almost to the point of dizziness. I got into the office before seven and didn’t leave until way past sundown on both Monday and Tuesday.
Tuesday evening while I was still working, I overheard Josiah talking on the phone. I wasn’t normally one to eavesdrop, but the conversation sounded intense, and as much as he seemed to be trying to whisper, his voice carried over into my cubicle right next door.
“I’m just saying that this one is different. I like her, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.” I’d admit that at that point I stopped inputting numbers and almost put my ear to the side of the cubicle.
He was silent for what seemed like a long time before I heard him sigh and say, “I believe you think this one is different, too, okay? Anyone can see that you’re putting a lot more time and effort into this one. But I have a hard time believing it will last. I’ve known you for ten years.”
He was quiet again, and I was afraid whoever he was talking to had hung up and he’d stand up and see me listening. I straightened back up and put my fingers back on my keyboard as he said, “Fine, I’ll stay out of it. I just hope you know what you’re doing. I’m afraid one of these days this will all come back to haunt you somehow.”
He listened again for a few minutes before I heard another sigh and the phone hit the desk. I started typing so frantically that I almost didn’t hear my phone ring. I looked at it and saw that it was Logan and instantly smiled.
“Hi, there.”
“Hey, beautiful,” his voice sounded stressed as he said, “Why are you still working at seven p.m.?”
I raised up and looked around. There were at least five other analysts still here. “I’m working, the same as five other of your dedicated employees in this department. Six, if you count Josiah.”
“It can wait, or leave it for Josiah. I want to see you.”
I smiled and my whole body warmed. “I want to see you, too, but I’m not going to accept special favors because I’m seeing the boss. Besides, it’s a short week. We have Thanksgiving dinner with your family on Thursday and roller derby with Kimber on Friday-”
“That all sounds wonderful. But it’s been a week since I’ve seen you…”
I laughed. “It’s been two days, and if you want to see me, I’m practically across the hall.”
“I don’t just want to see you. I want to touch you. I want to feel you. I want to-”
“Okay, well those would definitely be considered special favors, so maybe you should stay in your own office.”
He laughed then. “Luckily, I have about eight meetings this week that will take me out of this office. I can practically smell you across the hall and I can’t stand it.”
“Aw, I like knowing you think about me when we’re not together.”
“Good because I do, a lot.” He sighed. “I guess I’ll see you Thursday.”
“What should I bring?”
“Yourself. You could stay with me tomorrow night.”
“Josiah and I have the Bixby account to settle Wednesday evening in a dinner meeting with them at seven.”
“Josiah and you are having dinner?” His voice suddenly sounded tight again.
“It’s a business dinner with Brian Bixby and his CFO.”
“Make sure Josiah knows it’s all business.” I wasn’t sure if I was hearing jealousy in his voice or the stress I’d heard moments earlier.
It was true that Josiah and I had been spending up to sixteen hours a day together, but it was all about work. We had meals together, of course, and we laughed and joked, but he’d not said or done one thing that made me uncomfortable or feel like he was coming on to me.
In a light tone, I said, “Is that jealousy I detect in your voice, Mr. Moreau?”
I was surprised when Logan agreed, “It’s most definitely jealousy. Make sure he knows you’re taken.”
Still jokingly I said, “I’ll wear my ‘I heart Logan’ shirt.”
“Good, wear the hat, too.” I heard him chuckle. At least I’d lightened his mood somewhat.
“I’ll be sure to do that. But just so you know, you have nothing to worry about from him or anyone else. As far as I’m concerned, you have no competition.”
He was silent for a second and then he said, “Thank you. I’m sorry. I just miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I can’t wait for Thursday.”
“Me, too. Are we staying at the cottage again?”
“If you want to.”
“I don’t care where we stay, as long as it’s together.”
“Me, too. We’ll stay at the cottage, though, and make a night of it with a fire and Mom’s leftovers and some DVDs. How does that sound?”
“Amazing.”
“Good.”
Reluctantly, I said, “Now, I have to get back to work.” Jokingly I added, “Before the boss catches me on a personal call.”
“Hey! That gives me an idea!”
“What’s that?”
“If he fired you you’d have more time for him.”
I knew he was joking, but I wasn’t even going to go there. “I’ll talk to you later, Logan. Good luck with your meetings.”
“Fine,” he pouted. “You, too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye. I’ll call you before bed.”
“I’ll look forward to it.”
I put the phone down and stared at the wall in front of me. My emotions were super-charged lately and it was like all my senses were wide open because of it.
Logan Moreau likes me; he wants me. I still find it crazy, but the more he shows me how much he wants me, the easier it is becoming for me to believe. I don’t know why he wants me and maybe I never will know, but I think that I’m beginning to decide that it simply doesn’t matter. I don’t need to know why to bask in the way being with him makes me feel.
“Oh, my boss is so dreamy.” Josiah’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. He was standing up looking down into my cubicle at me. I expected him to be smiling when I looked at his face, teasing me, but he wasn’t. I didn’t really understand the look on his face, but after just discovering Logan harbored some jealousy toward, him I decided not to question it.
“Stop it, Josiah. Where is that spreadsheet you wanted me to look at?”
“It’s okay. I know what kind of effect he has on women. Logan hires them by the dozens and they flit around here showing off their pretty wings until he’s finished with them and then they drop like flies.”
“What are you saying?”
He sat down across from me and said, “Look, Chloe, Logan is my friend and my boss.”
“You have a funny way of talking about your friend and your boss.”
“This is between you and me because I consider you a friend now, too. I have a lot of respect for Logan, but that doesn’t negate the fact that he has a problem with women. I have worked with him for ten years and I’ve seen him blow through a woman a month, at least. Do the math, my little analyst: that’s at least three hundred women.”
My mouth was dry and my heart was pounding frantically. It wasn’t because he was telling me anything I hadn’t heard from Lily or read online, but because he honestly sounded like he was warning me. He expected Logan to do the same thing to me that he’d done to all those other women.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t had those same thoughts myself either, but the fact that this was Logan’s friend I think was what bothered me so badly. “Tell me something, Josiah. Did you warn every woman you worked with when you saw them getting close to Logan?”
“No. But, I like you, Chloe, and I don’t want to see you get hurt
. To be honest, I never said anything to the other women because most of the time, I didn’t even know he’d been with them until after the fact. It was usually quick. Logan got in and out and then the rest of us got to watch as his most recent conquest sat around and waited for her phone to ring. Because each one of them thought they were going to be different.
“You are different in the fact that he’s actually spent almost two weeks with you and it seems to still be moving forward. But mark my words, Chloe, it will end and if you’re in this believing that it won’t, you are going to get hurt very badly.”
I reached across him to take the spreadsheet off his desk and then I stood up. In a voice that was shakier than I would have liked I said, “Just so you know, Josiah, I feel like this is more about who I am than who Logan is. Despite how hard I’ve worked for you, you still look at me and see this naïve, little farm girl and that insults me. It also bothers me that if you thought this was a problem that instead of talking to your friend about it, you’re going behind his back and talking to me.”
“You’re my friend, too, Chloe, and you’re wrong; I don’t see you as a naïve farm girl. I see you as one of the most capable, brilliant women I’ve ever worked with. But many brilliant women have had their hearts broken by a player and as much as I love Logan, that’s what he is.
“And for the record, Logan and I have had this conversation, but apparently my opinion of his mating habits is not high on his list of things to worry about. All I’m asking is that you’re careful and you give his reputation some thought before you get too attached and your heart gets broken.”
I suddenly knew who Josiah had been arguing with on the phone just before Logan called me. It also explained Logan’s mood and sudden jealousy. Maybe he wasn’t afraid of Josiah hitting on me. Maybe he was more afraid of what Josiah might tell me about him.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LOGAN
The feeling I woke up with Thursday morning was either very bad or very good…I wasn’t sure which. I felt like an addict in the midst of DTs. I didn’t just want to see Chloe, I needed to. My body was craving hers. It was something I’d never experienced before, not even with Lisa.
Lisa had never moved to the U.S., so during our short marriage, she spent a lot of time in Canada. I missed her when we were separated, but I never craved her. Mostly since it was the only time in my life I was faithful to anyone, I missed the sex.
But with Chloe, it was much more than that. I missed all of her. I had to talk to her. I had to look at her and touch her and hear her laugh. I was more excited about this four-day Thanksgiving weekend than I ever remembered being.
I got up at daybreak to shower and dress and then waited like an anxious kid on Christmas morning. I’d told Chloe I would pick her up at ten, so it was a long wait.
While I sat there drinking one cup of coffee after the other, my mind went back to a conversation she and I had the night before. I’d been calling her at bedtime all week, and Monday and Tuesday the conversations had been warm and comfortable. But last night, I got the feeling something was off. Since Josiah had been acting weird and confronting me about using Chloe, I assumed it had something to do with her having dinner with him earlier in the evening so I asked her,
“Did Josiah say something that bothered you tonight?”
“Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know; you just seem a little distant tonight. Is everything okay?”
She’d sighed heavily and said, “Josiah didn’t say anything tonight, but he did say something yesterday that’s been on my mind.”
“What did he say?”
“He warned me that you were going to break my heart, basically. He told me not to get too attached.”
“Oh really?” I felt a surge of anger in my chest.
Josiah had walked in a few days previously while Mel and I were talking about Chloe. I was still not sure how much he heard.
At first, I tried to simply convince him that I cared about her. When that didn’t seem to be working, I tried using my position as his boss to warn him off talking to her. Apparently, that hadn’t worked, either. “Did he happen to say what he was basing this on?”
“Your past. He didn’t say anything new, Logan. We’ve already talked about your past and I’ve come to terms with it. Everyone has a past. I’m not going to base how I feel about someone on things that have nothing to do with me, and I told Josiah so.
“I wasn’t even going to tell you about this, but it really bothered me that you think of him as such a good friend and he would go behind your back this way. I felt like it would be disloyal to you to keep it to myself.”
“I appreciate you telling me, Chloe. But even more so, I’m glad that you’re not letting what he says influence you. I don’t deny my past. But I promise you that one thing I’ve never done is lead a woman to believe she meant more to me than she does. I’ve always been straight up honest about the fact that I wasn’t interested in anything more than having fun.”
“You’ve never told me that.” Her voice was low, like it was a statement or a question she’d thought about but was afraid to ask.
“That’s because you’re different, Chloe. I’ve never craved a woman the way I do you. I feel like I’m losing my mind just going three days without seeing you. I wanted to march across the hall yesterday to take you into my arms and kiss you breathless. But I also want you to feel comfortable at work, so I waited. But I’m warning you, as soon as I see you, I’m going to kiss you until your lips turn blue.”
She giggled, and I said, “Chloe, I’m not playing with your heart. I know this is all happening fast and because of who I am, people are going to talk. But personally, the only reason I care about that is if it bothers you.
“I want to be with you and only you and that’s huge for me. I hope that you’ll believe me and not what small-minded people with nothing else to do but gossip about others have to say. Not to mention Josiah would love to have found you first, I’m sure.”
I didn’t mean to sound like a jealous lover. I wasn’t usually a jealous man. Of course, I didn’t usually feel possessive of the women in my life. Again, it was different with Chloe.
“I believe you, Logan. I still don’t understand it, but I believe you. If it eases your mind, Josiah has never said or done anything inappropriate toward me. He’s a good boss, and I’m learning a lot from him. I honestly think he thought he was doing a good thing by warning me.”
“It’s good to know he’s minding his manners. I’d hate to have to fire him.”
“Oh, Logan, please don’t! I’d hate for someone to lose their job because of me.”
“I was kidding, Chloe. I wouldn’t fire him over this.” Mostly because if he did hear too much the day he walked in on me and Mel, he could use it to hurt me, badly. “I will have a talk with him, though, and make sure he minds his business from now on.”
“Okay, that I can live with.”
After I hung up with Chloe, I had called Josiah. He answered sleepily, but the fog seemed to clear as soon as he heard my voice. “Why are you trying to get Chloe to stop seeing me?”
“I’m not. I just worry about her like I told you, Logan. She’s not like the other women you usually go after.”
“And, I told you that’s exactly why I’m attracted to her. I like her, Josiah – genuinely.” He was silent, but I could hear him breathing. I knew he had something else to say, but he was probably debating it in his head. “Say what you have to say. This is your chance. Friend to friend, I’m not your boss tonight.”
“I heard you and Mel.”
“You heard what?”
“I heard you telling Mel that you were feeling guilty about using Chloe.”
I considered how best to handle that statement before I said, “Then you also heard me tell Mel it was because I liked her so much.”
“Yeah, I heard that. I also heard Mel tell you that you needed to reign in your emotions and keep the end goal in mind. What’s the
end goal, Logan?”
“You misunderstood. Mel is just saying the same things you are. She’s worried about Chloe and how fresh and naïve she is.” I was lying through my teeth and Josiah’s next statement proved it,
“That doesn’t sound like Mel. The only person other than Mel that Mel worries about is you. And, I didn’t misunderstand. I like Chloe, Logan, and if you’re using her…”
“What, Josiah? If I’m using her, what?”
“Just think about what you’re doing, man. This girl is twenty-four years old. She’s never been away from home. New York is like a different planet for her. This is her first real job. If you break her heart, it will put a damper on all of that for her. She has a lot of potential, but not if someone like you ruins her self-confidence before she even has a chance to realize it.”
“I don’t plan on hurting her, Josiah. That’s all you really need to know here.”
“I hope so.”
I’d ended the call and called Mel. The next half an hour was spent with her convincing me that Josiah enjoyed his position at the firm too much to take things any further than the simple warning he’d already given Chloe. I ruminated about it until I fell asleep, and when I woke up and thought about seeing her today, I was able to use the excitement of that to convince myself that I cared enough about her to make this right one way or the other, and that’s what I planned on doing.
*****
"Your face is flushed. Is Mother working you too hard?”
A few hours later, we were in my mother’s kitchen and Chloe was chopping carrots. My mother had tried to get her to go relax in the den, but Chloe was having none of it. One of them was as stubborn as the next and it was a cute battle to watch. My mother rolled her eyes and said,
“Don’t make me feel worse about having a guest chopping carrots. She already brought two pies that look better than any of my desserts.”
“I’m sorry,” Chloe said as she wiped her brow with the back of her hand. I went over to fix her a glass of ice water while she spoke to my mom. “I hope it is okay. I just wanted to do something.”
Mom put down the knife she was using to peel potatoes and looked at Chloe. “Oh, honey, please don’t apologize. I’m the one who is sorry. I was kidding. I have a weird sense of humor. Your pies look delicious, and I do appreciate the help.”