by Claire Adams
I took the elevator up to the tenth floor where I’d be meeting with Mr. Cooper and two of his executives armed with my resume and a glowing recommendation Josiah had sent over. He’d put that my reason for leaving was related to internal problems in the business and not my performance. Now, all I had to do was hope these people didn’t read the papers or use social media, or watch ET, even.
It was everywhere. The scandal between Logan and Lisa and the charges he skirted by not marrying me. If Lisa and Mel were as smart as they thought they were, they would have let him marry me first and then immigration could have charged him with an actual crime. I was sure they were worried that I’d end up with his assets if that happened, and they couldn’t risk that.
I nervously told Mr. Cooper’s receptionist who I was and then I sat to wait. It was about ten minutes later when they took me back, and an hour later when I walked out of there, I had a good feeling that I’d aced the interview.
They were all older men and either none of them read the gossip columns, or none of them cared. They were impressed with my grades and my letters of recommendation. They were impressed with my knowledge of business analytics and most especially, they seemed impressed with a recommendation that I hadn’t even known I received from Jamie Abbott, who was a good friend of one of the executives at the firm.
I hailed another cab and looked at the time. It was already twelve thirty. I debated about cancelling on Josiah. I felt bad to do it so late, but the thought of seeing him filled me with anxiety. I finally decided that I’d get to the restaurant and then decide.
As soon as I stepped out of the cab, the decision was taken out of my hands. Josiah was standing on the sidewalk near the valet stand, waiting for me.
“Chloe,” he kissed my cheek and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you. You look amazing.”
I smiled. “It’s good to see you, too, and thank you. You always look amazing.”
He grinned. “I know.” He held out his arm for me to take and we went inside. The hostess seated us right away and took our drink orders. I turned down Josiah’s offer of a bottle of wine and ordered a club soda. He ordered a single glass of wine and when she was gone, he said, “Damn, it’s good to see you. I miss you at work.”
“I miss you, too.” I’d been thinking a lot about them, how the company was faring, and all the people I’d worked with when I was there, but I’d cut myself off from reading anything that had anything to do with the company or Logan and I hadn’t spoken to anyone. “How are you all doing? Are you going to lose your job?”
Josiah raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?”
“Logan’s attorney found a loophole. He isn’t going to have to leave.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t known that you could feel the color drain from your face. “That’s good, for the company, I mean.”
Josiah nodded. “Yeah, it was good for all of us. Logan’s a mess, Chloe.”
It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. Surely, Josiah wasn’t here to plead Logan’s case to me. “I’m sure it’s been stressful for him dealing with all of this. I have to admit that I have a hard time being compassionate toward him.”
Josiah shook his head. “That’s not what I meant. He’s a mess over losing you, Chloe.”
The waiter was suddenly at the table to take our orders before I could respond to that. I could barely process the words on the menu, however, as those words floated around in my head.
I managed to order something and once he was gone, I said, “Josiah, you warned me about him. I should have listened to you. He’s not a mess over losing me. He’s a mess over his plan not working. He didn’t love me, Josiah; he used me.”
“At first, yes. I saw what he was doing and I couldn’t figure out why exactly, but I was pissed enough to lose my job over it. So, you know that of all people, I wouldn’t be telling you this now if I didn’t absolutely believe it. I’ve never seen him like this. His heart is broken. He made a huge mistake, but in the process, he fell in love with you.”
I didn’t believe him. I didn’t want to believe him. If I believed him, there would always be that part of my heart that ached for Logan. I wanted to believe it was all about using me and fooling me. I could be angrier than hurt that way. “So, am I supposed to be touched by that?”
“No.” He reached over and covered my hand with his. “I’m not here to make you feel bad for him. I hoped that knowing he really loved you would make you feel better. Maybe I was wrong. I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than you’ve already been hurt.”
“I know, Josiah. I’m sorry.”
“Nope, no apologies from you. The only mistake you made was being too trusting and that’s just because you’re a good person.”
“Or a naïve farm girl,” I said.
“Oh, shut up,” he grinned. “Just because you’re from the country doesn’t make you naïve. You’re the smartest analyst I’ve ever worked with.”
“That reminds me, thank you for the letter of recommendation. I got a job today.”
“You did? Where?”
“With Cooper Investments.”
He held up his hand, and I high-fived him. “Good job! That company is fairly new, but they are killing it so far.”
“Well, the CEO and his executives are anything but new. They’ve all been in finance for years, some of them over thirty years.”
“I know, and that’s why they’re killing it. Good for you. I’m so happy for you. I’m also happy you decided to stay in New York. I’d really like us to be friends, and I promise not to mention Logan every time we get together.”
“Okay, I’ll hold you to that,” I told him. He held up his wine glass and said,
“To your new job.”
I picked up my glass and we toasted. When our food came, we settled into talking about Josiah’s new niece and my nephews and what to get kids who had everything for Christmas.
I was relaxed and feeling so much better by the time I walked out of there, I had to ask myself if the fact that Logan was still in the city had anything to do with it. My inner self said absolutely not, but I’d keep a close eye on her…she’d lied to me before.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LOGAN
I cancelled on my family’s trip to see the festival of lights up at Niagara Falls. They were going later than usual this year, but that was my fault. My drama had torn them all up, but as they always do, they snapped back and they were beginning to move on with business as usual.
Our relationships had been bent, but not broken. My dad was still not really speaking to me, but I knew eventually he’d come around. I had put my family through a lot over the years, and so far, nothing had kept us from loving each other and being a family in the end. So when they finally got the trip together for the upcoming weekend, my mother had of course included me.
Unfortunately, I was not in the Christmas spirit. I had a feeling that my love of the season would forever be stained now by what I’d done.
I told my mother I had more paperwork to fill out for Immigration. The truth was that my attorney had been working on my case all along. He had been communicating with Mel, but she hadn’t been passing those communications on to me. Instead, she was putting her energy into finding a way to sabotage it so that she and my ex-wife could ride off into the sunset with my money.
I’d told Mel more than once that she had a black heart. I’d had no idea how right I’d been.
It was close to nine o’clock on Friday night and I was sitting in my penthouse, staring out at the city lights. I wondered what Chloe was doing and how she was doing. I wanted to reach out to her again, but so far that had only ended up with my number blocked. I thought about getting a new one just so I could call her, or calling her from the office or home phone.
The truth was that I knew I’d put her through enough. Stalking her now wasn’t going to do anything but push her further away. So, I did nothing. I worked and I came home and I wished tha
t Christmas would just hurry up and come and go already. I had no desire to be merry or joyful.
I got up out of my chair to get another beer when my phone rang. I found it on the counter in the kitchen and when I saw who it was, I smiled. “Hello, Kimber,” I answered. “How is my favorite niece?”
“If you have another niece someday, will I still be your favorite?”
“Always, but you can’t tell the other one when it happens, okay?”
She giggled, “Okay, I won’t. Uncle Logan, please go with us to Niagara Falls.”
I cringed. “Did your grandmother put you up to calling?”
“No, she said we should leave you alone to grieve, but what are you grieving about? I know your heart hurts because Chloe didn’t marry you, but she’s not dead. Isn’t grief for dead people?”
I smiled. “Not always, baby girl. Sometimes people grieve other things. Grief is for any kind of loss.”
“Oh, well, she’s not really lost. She’s going to Niagara Falls with us.”
My heart stopped beating for a few seconds. My head filled with blood. Chloe is going to Niagara Falls? Does she want to see me, or is she going because she thinks I’m not.
I wasn’t sure how to pose any of that to Kimber, but as it turned out, I didn’t have to. “Mommy told her you cancelled, so she said that she would go. But you know what I think?”
“What’s that?”
“I think she has grief, too, and if you two have grief together, it will be easier than doing it alone, right?”
“That’s right, doll; how’d you get so smart?”
“Inherited, I think.”
“From your uncle?”
“Maybe,” she said, “But you know both of my parents are doctors.” Spoken like a true little snob. I laughed.
“Okay, they can have partial credit,” I told her. “What if I decided to come up after you were all already there and surprise everyone?”
“You mean what if Chloe doesn’t know you’re coming until you get there?” Jesus, when did kids get so smart? “I won’t tell her,” Kimber said.
“I’m not condoning lying,” I told her.
“We’re not lying.”
“True.”
“Should I tell Grandma you’re coming?”
“Why don’t we keep it just between us?” My family loved Chloe. It had probably been hard for them to keep me and let her go. If Mom knew I was coming, I wouldn’t put it past her not to warn Chloe.
“Okie dokie,” she said. “I love you, Uncle Logan.”
“I love you, too, baby girl. You made my day.”
“Because of Chloe?”
“No, that’s nice to know, but you made my day by just calling and letting me know you’re thinking about me.”
I wasn’t lying to her. I missed Chloe like crazy and I was still in love with her, but if I didn’t have my family, I would really have nothing. Now if only my family can be that connection I need to convince her to take me back, things would be perfect.
*****
The falls are about an eight-hour drive from my parent’s house, so they typically load the family up and caravan up early Saturday morning. They spend Saturday exploring the botanical gardens, the floral showcase, and the islands. Then Sunday is normally spent shopping or just being lazy sometimes around the Niagara Grandview Manor where we stayed every year until the sun went down and it was time to go see the lights and fireworks shows.
I made my reservations for one and then I hardly slept at all Friday night in anticipation of just seeing Chloe. I got up at three a.m. and after having my coffee and throwing enough clothes for the weekend in a bag, I started the drive.
It was one of the most beautiful drives I think in the state of New York, and I tried to use the time to clear my head and decide what I was going to say to Chloe when I saw her. Most definitely, I owed her an apology. I would give her an explanation, but at I knew it was only really an excuse – and a poor one at that. Basically, in the full eight hours of driving, I came to the decision that I would apologize and tell her that I loved her and see how she took that before I decided where to go from there.
I pulled into the driveway of the manor just right around noon. In the thirty years my family had been going there, the place still never failed to take my breath away.
There was a beautiful rock garden on the property, and the rest of it was covered in lush, green lawns and fragrant, colorful flowers. Centuries-old maple trees dotted the landscape, and sitting at the highest point of the ridge was the manor, a three-story Victorian with gingerbread porches. It overlooked Niagara Gorge and the views were almost indescribable.
I had butterflies in my stomach when I got out of the car. I didn’t see any of my family’s cars so I wondered if I had beat them here. I grabbed my bag out of the trunk and made my way up to the porch.
There was an older couple sitting there in one of the plush rocking chairs, holding hands and just relaxing. They smiled and said hello, and I smiled and felt a rush of envy. That’s what I wanted, just to be with someone that loved me so much I felt completely comfortable and at peace with her, and she felt the same with me. It had just taken me too damned long to figure that out.
The lobby was spacious and welcoming; after checking into my room, I stood at the window for a bit and just looked out on the gorge. I knew Chloe was not going to be happy to see me and if I ruined her trip, then my family wouldn’t be happy to see me, either.
If I had half a brain, I’d check out now before they get here. Of course, if I had half a brain, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
I walked over to the fireplace and arranged the logs in the hearth more for something to do than anything else. When it was situated and ready to light, I left it alone and went over and turned on the television. I watched the weather channel for a while and was about to abandon that and find something else to do when my phone rang. It was Kimber.
“Hello, beautiful.”
“Hey, Uncle Logan, are you here?”
“Yeah, I’m on the third floor in one of the attic rooms. I got my reservation late, so I didn’t get on your floor.”
“Okay, we just got here. Are you coming down? Chloe’s with us.”
I smiled. She was becoming quite the little matchmaker. “I thought I’d come down for lunch. The lady at the desk said it would be served at one.”
“Okay, cool. See you then. Over and out!” I laughed and she said, “That’s secret-spy talk.”
“Oh, okay, over and out.”
“No, you’re supposed to say ‘Roger.’”
“Did you change your name?”
“What? No.”
“Then why do you want me to call you Roger?”
“Oh, Uncle Logan, you’re a dork.”
I laughed. “I know. I’ll see you in a bit.”
I went over to my bag and pulled out the little box I’d put in there that morning. I wasn’t delusional enough to believe she’d just take it back and say all was forgiven, but I felt better having it with me, just in case.
I tucked it into my pocket, splashed cold water on my face, took a deep breath, and headed down the stairs. I braced myself for the attack I knew was coming. If not from Chloe, I was sure another one of my family members would be happy to oblige.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHLOE
“Charlotte, this place is gorgeous!” The drive there had been long, but I rode up with Caroline, Frank, and their boys, and we sang songs and played games, so it was a lot of fun. I was still glad to be out of the car and even more so when I saw the manor we were staying at. It was beautiful, the views were breathtaking, and although I hadn’t been sure about coming, I was so glad that I did.
Charlotte smiled. “It really is; we love it here. This is our thirtieth year coming here,” she said.
“Oh wow. How long have you two been married?”
“It will be forty-nine years in February.”
“I can’t even wrap my he
ad around that. My parents have been married for thirty-one years, and I thought that was a long time.”
“It is, but after thirty, it all starts to blur together,” she told me with a wink. Then with a softer look in her eyes she put her arm around me and said, “Please don’t give up on love, Chloe. I firmly believe that there is someone for everyone and if my Logan wasn’t your someone, he’s still out there and he’ll find you.”
I didn’t say it to Charlotte, but I lay awake at night and wondered what if Logan was my someone? What if he had been my chance at happiness? I knew that was stupid since he didn’t really love me. After all, surely if that someone was for me, he’d be in love with me, right?
“Let’s go up and check out our rooms before lunch,” she told me. We went up to the second floor and while she and Logan’s dad went into their room and the two other families checked theirs out, I went into mine.
As soon as opened the door, I could see that the inside of this place was as beautiful as the outside. One wall had a big fireplace and there were two comfortable-looking easy chairs arranged in front of it. The bed was king sized, and there was an antique dresser with a round mirror and an armoire with a television and refrigerator hidden inside. The bathroom was big and had a Jacuzzi tub and vanity with claw feet.
I walked over and opened the curtains. There was a set of French doors behind them that opened out to a balcony. The balcony overlooked a lush garden and the Niagara Gorge. I stood there, mesmerized by it for several minutes before I heard Kimber’s voice. I looked over and saw that she was on the balcony to the left of mine.
“Hi, Chloe! It’s pretty, huh?”
“Yeah, it sure is.”
“I think you’re really, really going to like it here.”
I smiled at her. She was so enthusiastic. I loved her. “I think so, too,” I said.
“But really, I think you’re really going to like it.” She giggled.
“Good,” I said, “I hope so. Are you going down for lunch?”