by Claire Adams
"Killjoy. Already." Casey popped the side of my leg and picked up her bag. "You're going to meet someone sexy that sweeps you off your feet. Mark my words. Karma's a bitch, and Jackson will get his, but you'll get yours too."
"I believe you." I slung my satchel strap over my shoulder and brushed my sweater and jeans to smooth them out. "I'm going to meet lots of sexy men that are going to leave me panting."
She smiled brightly before heading to the door. "There's my girl. I know there's an optimist deep inside of you. Are you thinking we'll meet them at the hotel or the beach, or maybe a bar?"
I walked out of our dorm room and turned to close the door as a smirk lifted my lips. "I'm going to find them in a book. Lots of books. Safe sex without the herpes."
"Oh Lord." Casey rolled her eyes, shook her head and moved down the hall, starting her murmuring as she always did when I acted up.
I chuckled and ignored the pang of regret I felt over letting her talk me into the trip. I wasn't ready to move on from Jackson, and not that the trip would force me to, but it was a first step toward taking back my life as a single person.
Too bad I would trade anything to make things go back to the way they were. It wasn't possible, though. Trust meant everything to me, and nothing to him.
As long as I don't have to see him for the rest of my life, I'll be good.
*****
Casey drove us to the nearest shopping center and waited ten minutes for someone to pull out of one of the front parking spots. I bit my tongue, but wanted to berate her for sitting there for so damn long when we could have already gone in and been back out.
"Are your legs hurting?" I asked as we got out of the car.
She smoothed down her short blonde hair and gave me a cheeky grin. "Not yet, but they will be next Saturday. Open 24-7."
I shook my head as we walked into the store. "You're corrupt."
"You love it. I'm your fixer-upper project." She elbowed me.
I started to respond, but noticed the way her face fell as she glanced just beyond me to someone else. Her voice was curt as she stopped me from turning, her fingers biting as she pulled at my arms.
"Hey. Let's just go this way."
I had no doubt who was behind me. My luck never held up for too terribly long. There was a moment where I contemplated following her advice, as I did most days of my life, but I couldn't seem to shake the need to turn around.
"I'm good. Really." I turned and met eyes with him, the boy I'd given my heart to, my virginity, my future.
He waved once as he moved up in the checkout line he was in and reached for a busty blonde, pulling her against him and laughing at something she'd said. His jeans fit him beautifully, his broad shoulders almost stretching the thick t-shirt he wore. To say he looked good would be a vast understatement. Jackson was the all-American boy with dark brown hair, warm brown eyes, and a way about him that made almost anyone melt – especially me.
Turning on my heel, I walked down the nearest aisle as languidly as I could. Why of all the people in the whole world to run into, did I have to run into him? He should have been gone on his own spring break trip. In all the years we'd been together, I'd never known Jackson to not have a huge trip planned for mid-March. What was he doing still in New York?
Casey was speaking rapidly under her breath, but all I could hear was the rushing of my own blood by my ears as my body lit on fire and anger burned up the center of my chest.
How could he be with someone already?
He was with someone when we were together, so him being with someone now that we're not shouldn't have been that surprising.
"Vivian. He's not worth it." Casey moved in front of me, and I hadn't realized that I'd stopped in the middle of the paper goods aisle and bent over, my hands pressing to my knees. Air was hard to find and the agony that pumped through my chest was unable to be ignored.
"No?" I whispered and sucked in a shaky breath. "Why does it hurt so fucking bad still?"
She ran her hand over my back rhythmically as she bent down to put her face beside mine. "Because losing someone that you plan to spend forever with is like a small death."
The sound of his voice behind us caused my blood to run cold. "Viv. You alright?"
I stood and brushed my hands down the side of my hair before turning and crossing my arms over my chest. "Sorry? Did you say something?"
His expression was almost caring, kind, loving. He watched me like he actually wanted to know how I was, as if he cared at all. "I just wanted to check on you. I saw you run for the aisle and–”
"Running? I didn't run." I moved toward him as my nervous system shot into overdrive. It was all gone. All the nights of having him make love to me then wrap his big strong body around me. All the promises, the dreams, the future. Gone.
"You did, but it's whatever. You're good?" His eyes moved down the length of me. "You look good. Really good."
"Fuck you." I couldn't pull the words back as they left my lips. I didn't want him to know that I was still swimming around in self-pity, that I was crushed by his decision to cheat on me over and over again. He had no right to stand there and look at me as if I was the woman he wanted in his life. He'd chosen everyone over me. He could sit on it and rotate.
He lifted his hands into the air and took a step back. "Whoa there. Okay. Sorry. Just wanted to–”
"Well don't. Go trip over something and bust your teeth, you jackal." Casey's words were biting and filled with venom. She moved around me to stand between us, her shoulders stiff and body posed aggressively toward Jackson. "She's not upset about you. Something happened back home. Go away, Jackson. It's none of your concern anymore."
He ignored my best friend and tilted his head to the side, reminding me of so much more than I was capable of handling in that moment. "Your momma okay? Everyone at home?"
I turned and walked down the aisle toward the back of the store to the bathroom, leaving Casey to rip into the man that was supposed to be my best friend forever. Now there was nothing left but small pieces of my dreams to pick up. It wasn't just the loss of my tomorrows that hurt so damn bad, but more so the questioning of my worth. If Jackson was willing to sleep with another woman, then surely I played some part in making that happen. I wasn't good enough or pretty enough or wild enough in bed.
It couldn't have just been him, and if it wasn't just him, then it was me too.
If he knew every part of me and didn't want anything to do with me anymore, why would anyone else?
I picked up my walk to a jog, and then a run. I could pretend that I was fine, but I wasn't. Miami was a horrible idea, and regardless of what Casey wanted...I wasn't going.
Chapter 2
Easton
"Yes, Jon. I know the place. I've been there twice before." I ran my hand through my short, dark hair and pulled a second pair of black slacks from a hanger in my closet. "No, I'm not interested in having my room near Kevin's. You know how I feel about the guy."
My boss was far more involved in relationship building among our teams than I felt he should be. He was a touchy-feely sort of guy, and though I liked him, I wasn't interested in becoming better friends with my co-worker, Kevin, or anyone else at the company. I loved the place simply because of the travel involved and the prestige I received for being a resort critic.
"You sure, Easton? I know you and Kev have had a few run-ins in the past, but he's a great food critic. I'd almost dare to say that he's the crème-de-la-crème with food as you are with resorts." Jon let out a hearty laugh.
"You don't know him that well, then." I scoffed and walked back to my large, four-post bed, dropping the slacks on the mattress and checking the time. "I need to jet. Flight's leaving in a couple of hours and I'm not done packing just yet."
"Alright buddy, well, keep me in the loop, and don't go easy on these bastards. They're the biggest resort in Miami. Make sure everything is up to par as most people believe it is."
"I'll search it out and write an honest
review, just like I always do." I dropped the call and tossed the phone onto the bed, freeing myself to finish getting ready.
"Spring break," I muttered and rolled my eyes. I was only two years out of college, but it seemed somehow like a lifetime ago. Just the thought of being around a bunch of hormone-driven, high-seeking, early-twenties type people made my stomach tighten. I was a frat boy in college, but after being in the working world and moving through far too few real adult relationships since, I was a bit tainted toward anyone’s idea of fun.
A knock at the door caught my attention, and I moved toward it, humming a tune that I couldn't seem to get out of my head. The trip to Florida would be good for me, whether I wanted to go or not. I'd been working too many hours lately, and this next job was set in a place where I couldn't help but relax a little.
Sam stood at the door with a big smile on his face. "Hi, Mr. Parks. Is Eli ready to go?"
"He sure is. Come on in." I opened the door farther and smiled as the lanky, teenage gamer walked into my high-rise apartment. His mother lived a few doors down, the woman far more interested in her wealth and boyfriends than the kid she was raising alone.
"You sure your mom's okay with him staying with you for the week?" I lifted an eyebrow at the boy as we walked to the washroom.
"Oh yeah. I'll just keep him with me. It's cool if I take him to the park down the street a few times, right?" He moved to open the door and paused, glancing back at me as the sound of my yapping little dog filled the air.
"Of course. Just keep up with him. He's my only friend." I gave a cheeky grin and moved back as Sam picked up the puppy and turned to face me.
"I doubt that. Though I'd be totally cool just having a dog as a friend."
"No need for girls, right? Such a pain in the butt." I moved to the kitchen and picked up the bag of Eli's food and treats before leaning over and kissing the top of my pup's head. "Be good, buddy. Be good for Sam, okay? I'll see you soon. I love you, boy."
The dog wiggled and whined as if we were parting for far longer than a week.
"Girls can take a hike. I swear they were built with invisible knives." Sam shrugged, turned and walked to the door with Eli in one hand and the dog's stuff in the other.
"Invisible knives?" I opened the door and gave the kid a quizzical look.
"Yeah. The ones they sink into your heart when you're not looking. Moms have them too. All girls do, and when they grow into women, I figure it just gets worse."
I reached out and ruffled his hair. "There are a lot of good ones left. Stop being so cynical. You're too young for that. Now, get outta here and take care of my boy."
"I will. Have fun." Sam turned and walked back to his place, the kid’s shoulders rounding as he cuddled Eli against him and spoke softly to him in excited, albeit hushed, tones.
I watched him go, unable to shake the expression on Sam's face as he expressed his feelings toward women. "What in the world could cause a teenager to hate all womankind?"
My phone buzzed from the bedroom, calling me from my thoughts and forcing me to answer it. The ring tone was for my mother, which was good and bad. She was one of my closest friends, but since I was out of college and her oldest kid, she wanted marriage and babies next on the radar for me.
She did. I didn't.
"Mom. What's up?" I picked up the phone and worked to close my suitcase.
"Hi, baby. Your father and I are going out of town for the week, but I wanted you to come over Friday or Saturday for dinner. Will you be back in town by then?"
"I'm not sure yet, mom. I'm headed toward the airport now, but I'll keep you in the loop."
"Miami, right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Who's keeping up with Eli? I can have Sarah or one of the boys come get him."
Sarah was mother’s maid and my old nanny. The woman was solid gold and put up with far too much rebellion in my earlier years to ask anything of her now that I was grown. She loved my mother and father, but the feeling was quite mutual.
"No. Sam's got him. We're all set." I lugged the suitcase off the bed. "I'm headed out. I love you."
"Alright, but know that I'm praying for you to meet her." My mother's tone was firm but caring.
"Her?" I knew who she was talking about. She was always praying for me to meet 'her'.
"Your future wife, Easton. Cary Markum called the other day and she's going to be a grandmother soon. So is Milly. I'm the only one with no news to share." The pout in her voice made my eyes roll twice for good measure.
"Make something up, Mom. I'm not getting married and popping out kids just so you can have something to share with your friends."
"And why not?" She said something away from the phone, most likely to my father, because it was his voice on the line next.
"Hey, son. Be careful and make sure to wrap your willie in Miami. The girls down there are–” He yelped. "Ouch. That hurt, Mary. Shit."
"Give mom the phone, please." I pressed my hand to my head and tried to reject the fact that my father just reminded me to use a condom, but utilized terms as if I were still five.
"You see what I have to put up with?" She grunted. "Anyways. Just promise me that you'll start dating soon. Is there anyone even on the horizon?"
"No, mother. I'm not interested in dating right now. I have a career that's just getting off the ground, and most women don't support that, nor do they understand it."
"You need to join a dating site. Your Aunt Margaret met Uncle Billy on one of those things, and they've been together for three years now. I think it's worth a try."
"Right. I'm hanging up now. Tell Dad I love him, and stop pinching him. He's getting old and he's going to start bruising if you keep that up."
"He is not. He likes it rough." She giggled and my father growled as I tried to calm my gag reflex.
"Bye, Mom." I started to hang up, but waited for her to get out a little bit more. Getting off the phone with her was almost as hard as prying a raise from Jon at work.
"Fine, but keep an open mind. You haven't really dated since college. It's been two years." She huffed.
"Thanks for the reminder, Mom. Love you." I dropped the call and turned the ringer to silent. I didn't need any more interruptions on my already strained trip to the airport.
My mother was well aware of why I wasn't dating. My career required too much from me. No girl would be okay with me leaving six out of every seven days. I'd tried it and watched it fail over and over the first few months of my career.
It wasn't worth it. Not that they weren't worth it, but having to console someone over and over simply because I had to work all the time didn't work out too well in my world. When I found a mature girl who understood responsibility and still had the heart and body of a woman who would throw caution to the wind, I'd propose. Plain and simple. Until then, it would be an occasional one-night stand and a continuation of diving farther and farther into my career.
It was one of the only things that made sense to me anyway.
Women were complex and incredibly moody. Maybe Sam had it right. They were too much trouble, or maybe I just hadn't met one that outweighed all of the effort.
"Too deep for this early in the morning," I grumbled, grabbed my keys and my bag and made my way to the elevator. I'd find 'her' or I wouldn't. I was in no hurry. Even if my mother was.
*****
I chewed on my nails the whole way to the airport, my mind moving through all of the various meetings and events I needed to attend. The main resort was one of my favorites to stay at, but the two additional ones that I would be evaluating were run by the ex-CEO of my current company. To say she was a man-eater would be a mild understatement. The woman was a complete bitch, and where I was good dealing with her, it didn't mean that I wanted to.
She was incredibly attractive and knew it, leaving her to treat everyone she crossed paths with like they belonged under the heel of her expensive-ass stiletto. I'd found a sweet spot within my rise to stardom in the world of cri
tiquing, but money was just a means to make due with. I wasn't interested in rolling in it every night, nor did it really drive my decisions. Being rich was going to be part of my future simply because I loved success too much for it not to be.
"This is your stop, Mister. You want me to drop you off at the front of the terminal?" The cabbie looked back and gave me a toothless smile.
"Yeah. That would be great." I picked up my suit jacket and moved to the door, paying the guy and tipping him before getting out into the chilly New York morning.
"Miami should be a bit warmer if nothing else," I mumbled to myself and gathered my things before walking into the busy airport terminal. People raced about as if making their flight was everything in the world to them.
I caught the eyes of a pretty flight attendant and smiled kindly, ignoring the heated gaze I got from the woman. After checking in and getting my seat, I moved to pick up a Coke, a magazine, and some Skittles.
"Well, fancy meeting you here, mister." Kevin's voice caused a subtle sigh to leave me.
I glanced over my shoulder and feigned surprise. "Kev. What's up, buddy?"
Turning, I extended my hand to the portly, balding food critic who wanted more of my time than I was willing to give.
"I'm good, East. You headed to Miami already?"
"It's Easton, and yeah. Just wanted to get there and get settled in before starting the week." I rolled my shoulders before turning around and handing the cashier a card.
Kevin leaned around me and put his stuff on the counter. "Here, just put mine on his too. We're using the same company card anyway."
The girl looked up at me quizzically.
"Yeah, it's fine." I kept my facade locked into place and turned back to the guy. "I thought you weren't coming out until later this week."
"I wasn't, but there are a few new restaurants that are opening this week that I want to try out. I figured I could do it on the company’s dime and write up a critique. I'm sure Jon will pick up the piece. He loves my stuff." He snorted and I turned, not wanting to look at the slime-ball anymore.