by David Lubar
Moving Stairs
I get lost far too easily, both outdoors and in buildings. (Once, even though I had written directions, a map, and a GPS, I had a hard time finding a school.) So that’s where part of the idea comes from. I also have had the unpleasant experience of trying to find someone in a large store with three or four floors. For this story, I just made the store a lot taller.
Matters of Fax
Fax machines and I don’t get along all that well, but I have one, because I sometimes need to send or receive something that way. I think I was watching it swallow a piece of paper when the idea for this story hit me.
Casting Magic
I used to fish a lot. If you look at ads in fishing magazines, you’ll see phrases like “catch a fish on every cast.” That inspired me to think, What if a kid caught a fish on every cast? As with most what-ifs, the story could have gone in all sorts of directions, from funny to tragic. But given the competitive nature of far too many fishermen, the path I took seemed like a nice fit. (For a much darker fishing story, check out “A Little Night Fishing” in In the Land of the Lawn Weenies.)
Swim Safety
I started out thinking about jellyfish being attracted by peanut butter. From there, it was easy to make the connection with the old rule about not swimming after eating.
Drawn That Way
I’ll admit, this is one of my weirder stories. It began with the idea of a monster approaching someone in a series of nightmares. I don’t know what gave me the idea for the drawing part. I’ll also admit the ending is a bit metaphysical. I can’t really explain why the narrator became the demon. But I like that it happened. I figure it’s okay, in a collection this large, to toss in something a bit puzzling. But I promise not to do it too often.
Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies
Look around. Wherever there are people, there is talking, texting, swiping, and surfing. Way back when video cameras first became popular, I noticed that some people were so wrapped up in recording their vacations that they never actually experienced anything. I still have an old-fashioned flip phone, not because I don’t want to have total and constant access to the Internet, but because I know that once I have it, I will be unable to resist the allure of using all that power constantly.
Shell Shocked
Wereturtles. Doesn’t everyone think about them all the time? I know I do. Seriously, I have contemplated a huge variety of werecreatures. When turtles crossed my mind, I knew it would be a good variation for a story.
Feed the Kitty
As a cat lover (except when they are coughing up hair balls in the middle of the night), I tend to come up with a lot of ideas about felines. When I realized that “feed the cat” wasn’t limited to house pets, I knew I had a story.
Mummy Chase
I get along with washing machines and clothes dryers about as well as I get along with fax machines, so I’ve inevitably seen my share of shrunken clothing. I also realized I’ve had only one mummy story in these collections. (“A Tiny Little Piece” in Invasion of the Road Weenies.) I figured it was time for another. As I was thinking about mummies, it hit me that they were made of natural fabric. (Okay—they have other stuff on the inside, but this is a fantasy story, so we can pretend none of that exists.)
Being Green
Several years ago, my wife gave me a water bottle that I could take with me to school visits. I liked the idea of a reusable bottle. Unfortunately, I left it at the very next school I visited. (This also explains why, no matter how cold it is, I generally leave my jacket in the car when I reach a school.) So my reusable bottle lasted for one use. But I know a lot of people who manage to hold on to such things for longer. I guess that’s what inspired me to write a what-if about a girl who uses a water bottle because she wants to be green, and gets her wish.
First Contact
Another what-if from my files. What if aliens arrived, and they were incredibly boring? This shows a nice thing about what-ifs. Not only can any idea spawn endless stories, but most ideas can be endlessly varied. Fill in the blank: What if aliens arrived and they were ________? Made of water, afraid of the color blue, enormous, allergic to concrete, searching for Superman.… There really are endless ideas available.
Bark like a Duck
People are always coming up with new ways to teach things. Some of these methods are great; others are terrible. The problem is, the only way to find out is to test them. Unfortunately, this has exposed students to some ridiculous things over the years. When my daughter was in school, I saw my share of bad ideas being forced on students and teachers. That’s what inspired this story. As silly as this story might seem, it’s not all that far from reality.
The Rarest of Monsters
This began with the idea of a monster that resembled water. Some ideas are hard to execute. (Interestingly enough, execute means both “to bring about” and “to eliminate.”) I had to figure out how to summon such a monster, and how to put the glass in the hands of the main character, and how to make him drink the water. The same idea could have gone in an entirely different direction if I’d decided to put the monster in a lake or river. Who knows? I may still do that someday.
Choose Your Own Misadventure
Last year, I put together a huge index of topics for all of the Weenies stories from the first five books. (It’s at www.davidlubar.com/weenies_index.html. Your teacher will find it much more interesting than you will. I haven’t put in the sixth book yet, or this one. As I mentioned, I tend to put off my chores.) As I was working on various language arts topics, I realized I’d never written a Weenies story using second-person viewpoint. This viewpoint is rarely used in fiction, except for choose-your-own-adventure stories. So, naturally, I decided I had to write a misadventurous version of that type of tale.
Killer ID
My mind hands me puns all the time. One day, as I was looking at my caller ID, it told me: UNKNOWN CALLER. And I thought of the phrase unknown killer. That was the spark that led to this story.
* * *
And that brings us to the end of a lucky seventh collection of warped and creepy tales. I plan to keep writing them. I hope you plan to keep reading. And while you’re waiting for that collection, please check out my other books.
READER’S GUIDE
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The information, activities, and discussion questions that follow are intended to enhance your reading of Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies. Please feel free to adapt these materials to suit your needs and interests.
WRITING AND RESEARCH ACTIVITIES
I. Opposites Interact
A. In several stories, the author takes familiar scenarios such as a kid with a “nut allergy” (“Walnuts”) or feeding a neighbor’s “pet” (“Feed the Kitty”) and gives them surprising outcomes. Write a one-paragraph summary for each of these two stories, explaining what you expected from these scenarios after reading the opening paragraphs, and describing the “opposite” results you discovered at the end of the stories.
B. Make a list of other stories from Wireless Weenies, as well as titles of other books and story collections you have read, that incorporate a reversal of your expectations through plot, character, or story structure. Write a paragraph explaining why “reversing expectations” might be a good trick to keep in your story-writing toolbox.
C. On a sheet of lined paper, categorize the stories in this collection in terms of pairings or groups of tales that offer opposing perspectives on similar themes or plots. For example, “Sympathy Pains” and “Casting Magic” present two characters with different attitudes toward magical power.
D. With friends or classmates, brainstorm a list of literal and thematic opposites, such as dark/light, friendly/mean, and dog/cat. Vote to select one opposite pairing that sparks many group members’ imaginations. Individually, write one-paragraph descriptions of Lubar-style stories inspired by the pairing you selected. Share your results with the group, and discuss the different ways the opposites we
re interpreted.
II. The Great Unknown
A. In “Matters of Fax,” “Smart Phones,” “Control Issues,” and other stories in this collection, technology plays surprising roles. Write a short essay describing the technology-related story that you found most surprising, interesting, or frightening and why. Or write an essay describing why technological devices make interesting “villains” for today’s readers.
B. The Wireless Weenies collection is filled with surprising characters, such as a were-turtle. Pick your favorite strange character or story narrator (if s/he survives their story) and write a one-page magazine-style interview in which you ask the character at least three questions you would like them to answer about themselves, their origins, and the way they see the world.
C. In “My New Hat” and “First Contact,” extraterrestrial beings encounter human narrators. Imagine you are an “Alien Investigator.” Using details from these stories and other alien tales of your choosing, create a PowerPoint presentation entitled “Why Earthlings Shouldn’t (or Should) Worry About Extraterrestrials.” Present your report to friends or classmates.
III. Collecting Ideas
A. As in his other Weenies collections, David Lubar provides an afterward in which he shares insights about each story’s inspiration. Select your favorite story, then flip to the back of the book to read about how the author got the idea to write it. Write a one- to two-paragraph reaction to this information and, if applicable, the way it impacts your reading of the story.
B. “What-ifs” are the starting point for several stories. Keep a “what-if” journal for a week, a month, or longer if desired. Each day, write at least one short “what-if” sentence or phrase. At the end of your journal-keeping time, flip back through your entries and select one to use as the basis for a two- to five-page story.
C. With friends or classmates, brainstorm a list of ways to find story ideas or present a collection of yours (such as baseball cards, rocks, or mystery novels) to friends or classmates and discuss how it might be a starting point for a story.
D. Inspired by Lubar’s afterword notes, take the story you have written in exercise III.B., above, and revise it using one of his techniques, such as rewriting it in dialogue or from a second-person viewpoint; increasing the level of absurdity; trapping a character or characters somewhere in the story; or using a deus-ex-machina plot devise to resolve a problem.
E. Imagine you have been hired to design a new, collectible edition of the Wireless Weenies book. Review the collection, noting images, themes, colors, or other elements that might help you develop a style for your design. Using colored pencils, paints, or other craft materials, create small illustrations to accompany your five favorite chapter titles. If desired, design a new cover as well.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
1. Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies is David Lubar’s seventh Weenie story collection. Have you read other Lubar anthologies, or other story collections? Have you read other scary books? Did you begin reading this book with certain expectations? Explain your answers.
2. The first story in this collection is dramatically entitled “After the Apocalypse.” What are the first few ideas that come into your mind after reading such a title? How did the story turn these ideas around? In what ways does this story show readers what to expect from Wireless Weenies tales?
3. In “Fabrications,” the narrator finds clever ways to attack braggarts and other “bad kids.” Do you think her actions make the narrator a “good kid” or do they make you view her as equally bad? Explain your answer. What other stories in the collection make you reconsider the notion of the “good guy”?
4. “Gothic Horror” begins with Selena’s desire to be part of a group of “goth girls.” How does this desire play out? Do you have sympathy for Selena? Why or why not? What advice might you give to kids struggling to become part of a school social group?
5. What surprising conclusion does the narrator draw at the end of “Casting Magic?” Do you agree with his choice? If you had access to magic, would you use it? Why or why not?
6. List at least three stories in this collection where bad intentions or actions lead characters to “get what they deserve.” List at least three stories where characters try to help someone else or solve a problem. What is similar about the outcomes of these stories? What is different? What rule or rules of behavior might you recommend to all of these characters and why?
7. “Being Green” takes an interesting look at environmental awareness (or lack of awareness). How would you summarize the story in one sentence? How might you revise or rewrite a “green” slogan you have read to ensure that others don’t repeat the narrator’s mistake?
8. David Lubar admits that he “gets lost far too easily” and that this was part of his inspiration for writing “Moving Stairs.” Do you have a personal trait (strength or weakness) that you might like to incorporate into a fictional narrative? Describe the trait and the way you might like to explore it through story writing.
9. How does the author give readers strong messages about reading and writing in “Plague your Eyes,” “Sympathy Pains,” and “Choose Your Own Misadventure”? Summarize the messages in two or three sentences. Do you think these are important messages for young people growing up today? Why or why not?
10. The final story of the collection ends with the sentence “As for the kitchen phone—the line went dead.” What was your first thought when you finished reading this story? Why do you think David Lubar chose to make this the last story in the collection? Explain your answer.
BOOKS BY DAVID LUBAR
Novels
Flip
Hidden Talents
True Talents
Monsterrific Tales
Hyde and Shriek
The Vanishing Vampire
The Unwilling Witch
The Wavering Werewolf
Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie
My Rotten Life
Dead Guy Spy
Goop Soup
The Big Stink
Enter the Zombie
Story Collections
Attack of the Vampire Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Beware the Ninja Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
The Curse of the Campfire Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
In the Land of the Lawn Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Invasion of the Road Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy Tales
Extremities: Stories of Death, Murder, and Revenge
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Lubar grew up in Morristown, New Jersey. His books include Hidden Talents, an ALA Best Book for Young Adults; True Talents; Flip, a VOYA Best Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror selection; the Weenies short-story collections Attack of the Vampire Weenies, The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies, Beware the Ninja Weenies, The Curse of the Campfire Weenies, In the Land of the Lawn Weenies, Invasion of the Road Weenies, and Wipeout of the Wireless Weenies, and the Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie series. He lives in Nazareth, Pennsylvania. You can visit him on the Web at www.davidlubar.com.
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in these stories are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
WIPEOUT OF THE WIRELESS WEENIES AND OTHER WARPED AND CREEPY TALES
Copyright © 2014 by David Lubar
Reader’s Guide copyright © 2014 by Tor Books
All rights reserved.
Cover art by Bill Mayer
A Starscape Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
www.tor-forge.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
; Lubar, David.
[Short stories. Selections]
Wipeout of the wireless weenies and other warped and creepy tales / David Lubar.—First edition.
p. cm.
“A Tom Doherty Associates book.”
ISBN 978-0-7653-3214-1 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-4299-4662-9 (e-book)
1. Horror tales, American. 2. Children’s stories, American. [1. Horror stories. 2. Short stories.] I. Title.
PZ7.L96775Wg 2014
[Fic]—dc23
2013028169
ISBN 9781429946629
First Edition: April 2014