by Diana Palmer
“Do it…hard,” she whispered hoarsely, her eyes closed as she swayed against him. “Rub me against you…very hard!”
He wasn’t even thinking now. His body was reacting predictably to the ardor she aroused in him. He looked where they touched, watching her hard nipples drag against his warm chest, feeling them like brands on his body. He bent her across him and increased the ardent pressure, moving her from side to side now, hearing her shaky moans, feeling the bruising bite of her fingernails. She sobbed and her mouth pressed hard against his bare shoulders. She bit him again, quite hard, her tongue drawing circles on his skin in helpless passion.
One of his hands had slid to her lower spine and was grinding her rhythmically into the taut heat of him while his mouth suddenly bent to hers and possessed it fiercely.
At that moment, she would have let him do anything he liked to her. When his mouth lifted, she let her body arch backward, her firm breasts jutting toward his lips, her eyes closed as she yielded her body to him completely.
The action made Evan shiver. He knew what she was saying, without words. She would give him anything he wanted, do anything he asked of her. He could lay her down on the bed and strip her and make her his, and she would allow him to.
That submission stopped him, when nothing else would have. He lifted his head slowly, his eyes focusing hungrily on her breasts. He was faintly aware of the stab of her nails into his shoulders, but it was her flushed, hungry face that caught his attention. He’d never seen her look more beautiful.
He eased her cheek against the reckless throb of his bare chest and gently held her there, fighting for sanity.
She rubbed her breasts against him helplessly, her lips pressing soft kisses against his throat.
“Don’t,” he whispered, stilling her. “The feel of you is driving me out of my mind.”
“I know.” She nibbled at his chin. “We could make love,” she whispered unsteadily. “Right here.”
His big hands firmed on her shoulders. “No.”
“You want me,” she said.
“Viciously,” he agreed. “But we can’t make love on your bed in the middle of the day, when Lori or your parents could come home unexpectedly and find us.”
“We could lock the doors,” she moaned.
He lifted his head and tilted her chin up to his. “Take deep breaths,” he said quietly. “Let yourself relax. I’m not going to use you like a woman I’ve bought for the night, Anna. Cheap sex isn’t what I’m after, despite the fact that our lovemaking got a little out of hand just now.”
She let her eyes fall to his bare chest. “A little?” she whispered on a nervous laugh.
“I told you how it would be,” he reminded her. He held her eyes and slid one big hand up her body to cup and caress her firm breasts. “You really are a big girl,” he whispered, smiling gently. “Just my size.”
She blushed, but she smiled, too, arching so that his hand moved to encompass her even more fully.
“Like it?” he asked huskily.
“Don’t you know?” she countered.
He bent his head and the hand at her back moved her so that he could put his mouth over the breast he was cupping. He suckled at it gently, nibbled, caressed, bit, until she curled into him with a helpless moan. She loved the moist heat of his mouth on her skin, remembering the first time he’d ever done it with a layer of fabric in the way.
She held him when he started to lift his head. “Just…a little more, please,” she whimpered. “Bite…me…!”
And he’d been afraid of frightening her, he thought ironically as he gave in to her pleas. He laid her back on the bed and fed on her breasts like a starving man, delighting in her cries of pleasure, the clasp of her arms, the trembling vulnerability of her yielded body.
His mouth slid back up to her open lips and without thinking of the consequences, his body slowly levered over her, one powerful leg insinuating itself between hers so that he could bring them into total intimacy.
She caught her breath and clutched at him, shivering. He lifted his head then and looked into her wide eyes.
“It will probably hurt like hell,” he said flatly, one lean hand going under her to press her hips up into his. “Especially if you’ve never even played at intimacy before.”
“I haven’t. But if it isn’t you,” she whispered, “it won’t be anybody, ever. I love you!”
He groaned and his eyes closed. She made all his fears seem groundless. She loved him. He began to wonder if Louisa ever had, or if she’d only wanted him for his position, his wealth. Anna had insinuated as much, as Harden had years ago, and now he had to face the fact that it might have been true.
He brushed his mouth gently over her bare shoulders, her throat, her lips. “I’ll be rough with you,” he said in something like anguish. “I won’t be able to help it, don’t you understand? I lose control so easily with you. Oh, God, I’ve probably left bruises on you already…!”
She kissed him softly, rubbing her nose lovingly against his. “You haven’t seen your shoulder yet, have you?” she asked tenderly, and smiled.
He laughed softly. “Yes. You bit me, didn’t you?”
“Very hard,” she whispered shakily. “I didn’t know it was going to feel like that, or that you’d do what you did to me.” She dug her fingers into the thick hair that covered his chest. “I thought I might faint when you started rubbing your chest against me.”
“There are times when I’m not sorry about this thicket,” he admitted against her lips. “You were very, very aroused.”
“I still am,” she said softly. “I wish we could make love.”
“So do I. But we can’t, like this.”
“You could undress,” she suggested half-humorously.
“You don’t understand.” He moved to her side and stretched a little jerkily, pulling her down against him with her cheek pillowed on his chest. “What we’re doing is something that belongs in the confines of marriage.” He searched her eyes quietly while his fingers gentled on her breast. “If I give you a baby, it’s going to be after we’re married, not before.”
She didn’t think she could have heard him properly. “You don’t want to get married,” she faltered.
“Oh, but I do,” he said doggedly. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed it slowly, hotly. “I’ll take the chance, if you will. Say yes, Anna,” he breathed.
“Yes!” The word burst from her like a rainbow of sound and Evan took a long breath and damned the consequences.
“No long engagement, either,” he whispered. “We’ll get the license tomorrow.”
“So soon?” she gasped.
“I can’t bear to be away from you for five minutes lately,” he said, his eyes glittering with barely leashed passion. “I want you with me all the time, day and night. I want you under me in bed, Anna,” he whispered sensually, nibbling her lower lip while he played with her lips and stroked her breast. “I want your naked body writhing under the hardness of mine…!”
She met his mouth halfway, her body turning, accepting the crush of his, begging for more. It was all he could do to get away from her. He rolled away and got to his feet, keeping his back to her until he could stop shuddering. He reached for a cigarette, but they were in the shirt he didn’t remember discarding. He reached down and retrieved it from the floor, along with her blouse and bra.
Anna was sitting up, breathing raggedly, and his eyes went pointedly to the thrust of her pretty breasts.
“Exquisite,” he whispered breathlessly. “I could look at you like that for the rest of my life. But in the interests of your chastity, I think you’d better cover them up. Quick.”
He tossed her garments to her, watching her flush and jerk trying to get them back on again.
The droll humor soothed her embarrassment. She was a little shy of him now. He seemed to sense it, because he pulled her up from the bed and held her gently. “You still don’t know exactly what you could be letting yourself in for. I was
in control most of the time today. But when I lose control, and eventually I will, you might not like what happens.”
“I’m still trying to figure out what it is that I’m supposed to be so afraid of.”
“I’m oversize,” he said quietly. “I’ve always had to pull my punches, ever since I was a boy. Even now…” He broke off. “I keep remembering Louisa,” he admitted finally, and he winced.
This, she thought, was going to take time and patience. But if she was careful, maybe she could heal those scars. “I’m not fragile,” she said, her voice soft and hesitant. “I want you as much as you want me. And I love you.”
His hand touched her lips with exquisite tenderness. “You make all my worst fears sound ridiculous.”
“They are,” she replied. She closed her eyes while he kissed her with something like reverence. “Are you going to stay with me?”
He laughed softly. “How can I stay away?” he countered. “There aren’t that many women in Jacobsville who worship the ground I walk on.”
She glared at him. “Go ahead, rub it in.”
“I wasn’t. I feel pretty arrogant and smug right now, if you want to know.” He nibbled at her mouth. “Now let’s sit down, in the living room,” he emphasized, “and watch some movies, before we end up in bed again.”
“We will, eventually,” she said doggedly.
He sighed. “Eventually,” he agreed. “First I have to work up the nerve,” he said under his breath. He brushed a careless kiss against her forehead and, minutes later, started the VCR in the living room. Evan settled her in the curve of his arm and wondered quietly how he was going to go on living if she ever turned away from him out of fear.
Chapter 10
Evan wasn’t wasting much time arranging the wedding, Anna discovered the next morning, when he came to pick her up to apply for the license. They’d told Polly and Duke the day before and decided to wait overnight before they started the paperwork, but nobody was surprised by the news. The other couple only grinned.
Anna was as close to heaven as she’d been in her life. Evan was openly affectionate now, kissing her when he came into the house, wrapping her up against him when they walked. If he didn’t care about her, he was certainly a good actor.
After they applied for the license and had a blood test, Evan took her out to lunch at a restaurant downtown.
“You aren’t eating much,” he observed when she barely touched her roast beef.
She looked up at him, her eyes soft and loving. “I’m still in shock,” she confessed. “I can hardly believe it, even now.”
His dark eyes slid over her face possessively. “I’d never thought about marriage before,” he confessed. “Not seriously, at least, even if I did lip service to the idea of wanting a home and a family.”
“You used to say that they all trampled you trying to get to Harden,” she recalled with a smile.
His big shoulders rose and fell. “In a way, it was true. Harden hated women, so naturally they all loved him. Especially Miranda, fortunately for him,” he added with a grin.
“I used to think that if Harden could get married, anybody could,” she admitted. “He was a real woman hater.”
“No less than Connal, until Pepi came up on his blind side,” he agreed. He caught her hand in his and turned it over, stroking her ring finger absently. “I haven’t even bought you a ring,” he remarked.
The license and the blood test had convinced her that he was serious, but the mention of a ring made her heart beat faster. That was commitment.
She looked up into his eyes with pure joy.
“Do you want a diamond, Anna?” he asked gently.
“I’m not sure…”
“Don’t, for God’s sake, tell me you want an emerald,” he said, his dark eyes flashing. “I won’t buy you one.”
He sounded viciously jealous of the emerald Randall had given her. She had to hide a smile. “No, I don’t want an emerald,” she admitted. “I don’t suppose colored stones are a very good investment, are they?”
He scowled. “Honey, I’m not buying it for an investment,” he said gently. “This isn’t a business deal.”
“I’m sorry.” She couldn’t very well tell him that she didn’t understand why he was marrying her. She was sure that he cared, a little. It was just that she wanted him to be in love, as she was. He was attentive and kind and even affectionate, but she wasn’t sure of him.
What she didn’t know was that he hadn’t abandoned his fears. He was going ahead with the wedding despite them, mostly out of worry that she might go back to Randall. He was taking a terrible chance on her age and innocence, despite her confession of undying love.
She sensed his reservations. Nina still bothered her. That old flame had turned into a raging fire just before Anna was attacked. How could she be sure that Evan didn’t feel something for Nina? How could she be sure that he wasn’t marrying her out of pity and guilt and helpless desire?
She sipped her coffee absently, her eyes avoiding his.
In answer to all her unspoken worries, Nina walked in the door of the restaurant, alone, and spotted Evan.
He saw the woman coming and cursed viciously to himself. His manners outweighed his anger, so he pushed back his chair and stood up, but his eyes weren’t welcoming.
“Well, hello,” Nina gushed. She went up to Evan and blatantly kissed him, despite his obvious reticence. “How are you, darling? I haven’t seen you for ages! What have you been doing?”
“Getting engaged,” he said flatly. “Anna and I are going to be married.”
Nina actually froze. She didn’t move or speak for a long moment, and then she laughed harshly. “You’re marrying Anna? After all the time you spent running from her? Well, well, what did you do, Evan, get her pregnant?”
“That’s enough,” Evan said coldly.
Nina stared at Anna with pure hatred in her eyes. “You aren’t stupid enough to think he loves you? All he’s capable of is wanting! I should know!” She was almost shaking with rage, and attracting the attention of half a dozen other diners as well. “I gave him everything I had, and I couldn’t hold him!”
“Nina, stop it,” Evan said quietly. “You’re making a spectacle of yourself.”
Her lower lip trembled as she stared at him. Despite her embarrassment, Anna felt a terrible sympathy for her. Nina had been in love with Evan. It was painfully obvious.
“Just my luck…to be the wrong kind of woman to get you to the altar,” Nina sobbed at Evan. “Everybody said experience appealed to you, but it wasn’t true, was it? You’re robbing the cradle at that…!”
She whirled suddenly and ran out of the restaurant, still crying.
Evan sat back down heavily. “I’m sorry about that,” he told Anna, his voice strained but tender.
“She loved you,” Anna said softly.
“Yes,” he agreed. “But I didn’t love her. You can’t force yourself to care about somebody, Anna. That’s life.”
She knew that. She looked at Evan with horror. She was marrying him, and he didn’t love her any more than he loved Nina. What kind of relationship could they build on a one-sided attraction? Eventually even desire would wane, and what would be left?
Evan cursed roundly when he got a good look at her face. He helped her up and went to pay the check, ignoring the curious stares of the other patrons. Nina had destroyed Anna’s radiant mood, and his own. He’d thought the woman realized when he didn’t call that he was no longer interested. It was his own fault. He’d used her to keep Anna at bay and she’d misunderstood his continuing attention. He should have had a long talk with her, but Anna’s situation had claimed all his faculties.
He escorted Anna back to the car, his whole demeanor quiet and preoccupied.
“I think we’ll wait and get the rings in the morning, if you don’t mind,” he told her when he pulled up in front of her house. “I have some things to take care of.”
“It’s all right with me,” Anna
replied. “The day’s been rather spoiled anyway.”
He cut off the engine and turned toward her. He winced at her bleak expression. “I’m sorry,” he said huskily.
“You can’t help it that women fall all over themselves trying to get to you.” She laughed bitterly. “After all, I’m one of them, aren’t I?”
“No,” he said flatly. “You’re not one in a crowd. I’ve asked you to marry me, Anna, not to spend a few feverish hours in bed with me!”
“I do realize what a great honor you’re doing me.” She looked at him with something approximating panic. “What kind of life will we have, falling all over your discarded lovers every time we go out to eat? Evan, I don’t want this,” she said wildly. “I can’t marry you…!”
His hand shot out and caught her arm, dragging her over against him so that her head fell back against his shoulder.
“No, you don’t,” he said huskily. “You’re not backing out.”
“Yes, I—!”
He stopped the frantic words with his mouth. She fought him, but only for a few seconds. The heat and mastery of his mouth slowly began to weaken her struggles. She couldn’t resist him. Her lips parted and her arms went up and around his neck, as she gave him back the long, slow kiss. Her pulses began to throb with the sweetness of being in his arms.
“You aren’t playing fair,” she whispered, shaken, when he finally lifted his head.
“I’m not playing, period,” he replied, his dark eyes piercing, steady on hers. “Nina knew the score from the very beginning. I made no promises, ever.”
“You used her,” she whispered miserably.
His face tautened. “Yes,” he admitted curtly. “I did. At the time, I thought I was protecting you. I used her shamefully. She had every right to be upset about that, but she can’t pretend that she didn’t know what I was doing. She was willing.”
Her lower lip trembled. “You slept with her!” she accused huskily.
“Years ago, if you have to know,” he replied flatly. “Not since. Certainly not since she’s been back in town. I told you before, I can’t even get aroused by other women, least of all Nina!”