by Nhys Glover
That was it. I drew her body away from mine so I could align the head of my cock against her entrance. Her eyes opened wide in triumph and a little fear. This was her first time. It would hurt. I needed to make sure it wasn’t bad for her. I’d never had a virgin. Never wanted one. Why would I? Virginity was another word for inexperience. I couldn’t get rid of mine fast enough. Although I suppose I lost my innocence years before that.
But as I began the excruciatingly slow press into her tight body, I suddenly shook with the enormity of what I was doing. This was the woman I had loved since I was thirteen years old. This was her first time. No man had claimed her like this before. She was mine.
And she was my mistress and could never be mine.
I felt the slight barrier and saw Accalia flinch. But when I tried to pull back she simply pushed herself harder against me, impaling herself onto me with one press of her hips. The pleasure of her heat around my cock almost undid me. But I held still inside her, bringing my excitement down to a manageable level by sheer force of will.
I was good at this. I could last longer than any of my pack-mates. It took me longer to get aroused, but I lasted longer. Or that had been the way of it in the past. But I’d been hard for Accalia almost from the moment we were first alone, and I’d been that way without relief ever since. Every moment we were alone, whether she was clothed or not, in pain or not, I had been hard for her. Now I was balls deep inside her and my cool control was gone.
I brought her mouth up to mine and hungrily kissed her again, this time thrusting my tongue deep, as deep as my cock was inside her core.
“More...” she moaned into my mouth. “Please... more!”
Though I knew it was a mistake and that I wouldn’t last, I began pulling her butt away from me so she slid back along the full length of my cock. Then I drew her close again, the water giving her body a buoyancy that wasn’t really necessary. She was so small and light already. But it was easier, this push and pull; this in and out; this slick sensation of her around my cock; this feel of her fingers gripping my shoulders as she threw her head back.
That neck, that long, elegant neck was exposed. On the next draw in I kissed it, then bit into it to control the impulse to climax. I was so close. But I didn’t want to give in to the need yet. Who knew if I would ever be in this position again. And Accalia was so beautifully aroused and wanting. So close to another climax.
She jerked as I bit her, and for a moment I wondered if I’d hurt her too much. But then she grasped me tight and cried out, her release so sudden and intense it had her giving voice to it loudly. Her inner muscles clenched around my cock, blissfully clenched around me. I kept still and rode it out with her.
When she relaxed a little, I began moving again, this time with more focus. It was time. I couldn’t wait any longer. I thrust into her still quaking core and then withdrew. I thrust in again. I grunted with the energy it took. The sweat poured off me into the water. And I thrust again and again.
Accalia tightened her legs around me, pushing herself onto me so she could get me deeper. I saw her need, her confusion and her need, as I drove relentlessly on, again and again.
When the pressure was too great, I gave into the tide that rose up and over me. Like the wave that had washed me overboard, this wave sent me into raging unknown depths. And I poured myself into the woman I loved. I gave her everything I was, everything I would ever be. Until there was nothing left, and I was... complete.
Chapter Nine
ACCALIA
I floated in the lukewarm, fragrant water, my mind still trying to deal with the sensory overload. The intensity of what had happened. Was this what a joining was always like? I had known intense pleasure—shocking, surprising pleasure—with both Asterius and Talos, and had known there was more. Had wanted more. But I had no idea how... complete I would feel because of it.
For the whole time I was throwing myself at Orion, pleading with him, seducing him, my core had felt empty. I craved Orion’s cock like a cat in heat craves a tom. I was beyond rational thought. And though it shamed me to know the lengths I had gone to in order to get what I needed, once I had it... Gods, it was worth it. I felt euphoria unlike any other. I was shattered to pieces and then put back together by the act into a softer, more complete version of myself.
Orion relaxed in the water beside me, our bodies separate yet still connected on some level that was not physical. Did he feel like this too, or was it just me? He had had sex many times. This might not be new to him. Maybe it was always this way.
“I want to ask you if that was normal, but I am afraid you will say it is. I do not want this to be what every joining is like for people. I do not want every joining you have ever had to have been like this. So... I will not ask,” I said softly, watching my hand making small waves in the milky water. I could not see our bodies beneath the water because of the unguent that had fallen into the pool sometime during our coming together.
Orion’s long fingers slid down my arm in a lazy caress. “Because you didn’t ask I will tell you. That was not normal. That was so far from normal as anything can get.”
I gave a little laugh of delight. Thank the gods! It was not just me.
“I am afraid to do it again,” I said.
That drew his lazy curiosity. “Why?”
“Because it cannot possibly be as good the second time. I will be disappointed.”
He chuckled, a light sound that was so unfamiliar. “I would hate to disappoint. We won’t do it again.”
I knew he was teasing, and Orion never teased. I turned over and wrapped my arms about his body. He was lying on his back in the water, his knees on the floor of the pool. I had been able to float fully.
“Never again?” I asked him, making my voice teasing. I ran my hand down his body until I found his flaccid cock. It seemed a cruel thing to do, trying to arouse it so soon after its enthusiastic performance. But I felt a little cruel in my total, boneless satiation.
His cock started growing at my touch, and I giggled. A man’s cock was a rapacious thing. Thank the gods!
Orion grabbed my hand and drew it away. “Never.”
I pouted. “Not even if I promise not to be disappointed by your next performance?”
“I thought it was your next performance. You seemed to know just how to play me. Asterius taught you well.”
I grimaced at the memory of my beloved Asterius. Gods, he could not be dead. I could not bear it if he or Talos or Typhon were dead.
Orion turned and looked into my face. “What? Did I insult you? Shouldn’t I have mentioned Asterius?”
I shook my head. “No, I just felt a stab of fear. What if they did not make it? I cannot think about losing them like that.”
Orion stroked the side of my face, his blue eyes intense. “They aren’t dead. We’d know if they were dead. Just like when you and Talos were lost, and everyone insisted you had to be dead. But it didn’t feel like you were. I knew I’d feel it if you were gone.”
I nodded. He was right. I felt the same way. It was as if we were all connected somehow. If one or more of the connections broke, I would feel it. And though I had worried about Pater and tried not to contemplate his death, I had never once felt like I had lost my connection to my pack.
“Are you sorry I threw myself at you?” I asked, wanting to worry yet another sore spot inside me. He had not wanted me the way the others had. I had as good as forced myself on him.
“I would never have forced you. That was a low thing to threaten,” I went on, troubled by his silence.
Finally he sighed. “When I was small, my mother was forced to breed with a very bad man. But his cruelties were for the most part not physical, so my mother couldn’t complain. But he was brutal in bed. At the time, I didn’t understand that. But I do now. He took her hard and hurt her, even though he didn’t hit her.
“And he taught me about life. He taught me what it was to be weak and vulnerable. A worm, he called me. A pathetic worm. I s
wore I’d never be that worm again. And I’ve tried never to show weakness since.”
I placed a comforting hand on his chest, but I doubt he felt it. He seemed lost in his terrible memories. I wished I’d never opened this door. Orion was the strong one, the leader, he never showed his vulnerabilities. Having him do so now... it felt too raw and uncomfortable. I wanted to run away and hide. I wanted to silence him with a kiss. Distract him somehow.
“You are the strongest person I know. You are the leader of our pack,” I said to reassure him.
He shook his head. “I act strong. I’m a good actor. But if I was really strong then I’d allow no weaknesses. And I do. You are my weakness. I’d do anything for you. And a gladiator can’t afford to feel like that about anyone. Because an opponent can use it against you. Against me. So I didn’t want to claim you as mine. I didn’t want that. Because...” he faltered. “Because I didn’t.”
I felt as if my heart was breaking inside my chest. The pain was excruciating. “I have heard you say many times... that a gladiator should show no weakness. That I was the pack’s weakness. I never... I never thought of myself that way. But I see it now. I have come close to losing all of you your lives over the years. Gods, Talos nearly died for me in that fire. He may yet die coming to my rescue this time. I’ve been so selfish...”
Orion turned to face me again. His blonde hair was wet and plastered to his head, his tanned skin made his blue eyes all the bluer. He was so beautiful.
“You are no more selfish than we are. We have all wanted what we should not have. Could not have. Do you think we’d be the only ones who would suffer if the wrong person found out what’s between us? You’d be ostracized and shamed by your society. Your Pater would be shamed and his disappointment in you would be like a dagger to your heart. We know that. Yet we have kept you in our lives. I have kept you there. Selfishly. We are your weakness as much as you are ours. We know you would sacrifice everything for us.”
I nodded. Though it was as painful as turning a dagger in my chest, listening to his words. I could not stay away from my pack. I even followed them to Rome and would have gone to Puteoli when the time was right. The ache of missing them was too terrible.
Tears filled my eyes and joined the water in the pool. It all seemed hopeless. I had taken what I wanted without thought of the cost. To Orion. I had forced him to bind himself to me in the most physical way possible. Against his will.
“I... I have always known the risks, but they never seemed quite real until... until Talos. But instead of stopping me, the risks drove me on. I have been obsessed with you. I will find a way to stop this.” I wept harder.
Orion pulled me into his arms, and I fought hard to stay stiff and unyielding. I could not give in to my love for him anymore. I had to be strong.
“It’s too late, my love. It’s too late for any of us. I knew that while I was racing to find you. Gods, I tore myself up inside thinking about what those bastards may have done to you. We all did, I think. We are all obsessed.
“For better or worse, this is what we have wrought. And in this moment it feels worth it. Being inside you, feeling you around me, hot and wet... I never expected anything to feel that good. And not just the physical pleasure. I felt... I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. Inside my skin, I mean. Inside my head.
“So maybe it’s all worth it. Maybe we’ll all eventually crash, like a ship against rocks, and be destroyed. But maybe that’s our fate, too. Has always been our fate. Just as death is often the fate of a gladiator. So, weakness or not, what we all have together is our path.”
I kissed him then—deeply, tenderly—wanting him to understand what he meant to me. He was right. Maybe destruction was all that awaited us. But between then and now there was the opportunity for incredible joy. The kind of true connection few people ever found. And I had found that connection with four beautiful and brave men.
With infinite slowness, I let my hands explore the hard flesh of his body, memorising every plane and curve, every risen vein, every inch of golden skin and soft fair hair. I watched as Orion swallowed hard and his face softened into vulnerable lines I had never seen before. It made him look younger and more innocent. More beautiful.
Letting my lips roam over that hot skin, tasting and savouring the slick feel of it, I revelled in the freedom I now had. There was no virginity to protect for some unknown husband. No artificial barriers between me and a man I loved. I had climbed to the very peak of this mountain many, many times and never been willing to jump. Now I had. Now I had not only jumped, but I had flown. And no one would ever again cage me. Not even myself.
Moving up to his face, I kissed and tasted his chin, his cheek bones, the hollows of his eyes. I slid my inner bottom lip across one closed eye and then the other. It felt... extraordinary. The tenderness almost too much to bear.
When Orion moaned and slid his hands up to cup my breasts, I felt totally woman, totally wanton and untamed. I moaned and arched my back, pressing my breasts into his large palms, wanting the feel of his fingers on my stiffening nipples. Wanting his mouth, hot and wet and sucking on those sensitised tips.
As if he read my mind, Orion lifted me up until he could suckle on one breast while he kneaded the other. Hard and insistent. Pushing me higher. Sucking me deep.
Moaning and crying with need, I dug my fingertips into his hair. Loving the feel of it, wet and sleek against my skin. Loving the tension in his muscles as he kept himself under tight, impossibly tight, control.
“Gods, Accalia. She-wolf! You undo me. You tear me down and build me up again. I can’t get enough of you.”
I understood just what he meant. That was how it felt to me. As if I crumbled to pieces at his touch and then reformed a little stronger after.
“Please...” I pleaded, knowing he knew exactly what it was I needed.
We came together in a different way this time. A slower, less frantic way. I savoured every touch, every kiss, as he slipped inside me, hot and hard, I welcomed him into my body as I had welcomed him into my heart all those years ago. Fully. Completely. And it was right. Nothing had ever felt so right.
Together we moved. Together we danced. Together we became one being. And the mounting pleasure was exquisite. It felt as if the Light I always saw when I healed was dancing with us, blending with us. Spiralling out of us.
“Gods!” he cried out as he came, hard and deep inside me.
Smiling, I followed him over into the white hot bliss that stole my breath away.
Afterwards, Orion carried me out of the pool and let the water drain away. He sat me on his lap and dried me off as if I was not so much a living woman as a precious statue of a goddess.
When we returned to the others for the evening meal I wondered if they would see the change in us. If Maleka, with her too-observant eyes could see the new connection that had formed between me and my beloved.
If she did, she made no comment on it as she applied fresh poultices to my feet and bound them again.
If someone asked what we discussed over the evening meal that night I could not have told them. My mind was too filled with memories, too preoccupied with what Orion had said about fate.
Yes, we were fated to be together. All of us. I had never known anything to be as true and right as that. But fate was not always kind. Look at what happened to my parents. They had been so very much in love, and happy. Yet the gods had taken my mother and little brother far too early.
Would Pater have tried to deviate from his fate if he had known the outcome?
I doubted it.
So I would embrace mine, taking all the joy I could get while I could.
Before we were pounded against the rocks into oblivion.
The days passed in bliss, much as they had in Sardinia. Orion went out every day to discover what he could find out about the predators and then returned to me to eat and rest and then make love through the night. The narrow bed proved just right for two.
If I had been happy in
Sardinia, or even buried beneath the burnt-out building in Rome, I was ecstatic here in Palmyra with Orion. And not just because there were no limits to our lovemaking now as there had been with Asterius and Talos. Something had shifted. I had begun to embrace my fate. It no longer felt wrong to love four men. It no longer felt wrong to love four slaves. It had always been meant to be. We were always meant to be. And I felt it right to my toes. The rightness. If the others were not with us yet, they would be. I felt that too.
On our fourth night in our hideaway Grissa went into labour. Her waters broke over dinner and her mother and grandmother left to take her to her room. At dawn a scratch came at our door and Elenia stood on the other side, wringing her hands, her features drawn and haggard. She looked like she had aged ten years overnight.
“Can you come? My mother believes you might be able to help. My daughter... my daughter is in trouble. The babe is placed wrongly and we cannot turn it. She is growing too tired to push...” The words petered out. Her pleading expression said it all.
I dashed from the room, thankful my feet were now healed well enough for me to get around unassisted. Orion stayed in our room, knowing without needing to be told that his presence was not required. This was women’s business.
In Grissa’s bedroom I found organised chaos, just as I had seen it on many occasions at home. Grissa was naked and perched on a birthing stool, Maleka at her side. She was screaming in agony as a contraction took her. I could see from the shape of her belly that the babe was placed side-on instead of head first. Grissa’ hips were blocking the babe’s progress. It needed to be turned.
But first the girl needed to calm down. Her panic was making things worse. All the gentle words from her mother and grandmother were doing no good. She was babbling in Aramaic between screams. I looked to her mother for translation.
“She wants us to cut the babe from her. She says it at least should be allowed to live.”