By this time, he was mad and turning red, and my attorney said, “Yeah, that would be the best way to handle this. He doesn’t want anything to do with you, so you can talk to me and I will talk to him. ” I continued reading, and I said, “Man, some of this looks like chicken scratch. I know you don’t expect me to be able to read this.You are going to have to rewrite this. ” So, he rewrote some things to make them more legible, explaining that he wrote it in line at the grocery store. I finished, shook Slim’s attorney’s hand, and apologized for not having been able to meet him under better circumstances and left, knowing that I confused the attorney good—because I was nothing like the monster that they portrayed me to be—and that put a smile on my face. I knew that he knew he was going to have a problem on his hands.
On the drive home from work, I was thinking about signing those papers. Even though it was only a warning and not a felony or a misdemeanor, it was my first time ever being in trouble with the law. My dad always said to keep my name clean. I had tainted my family name and embarrassed them for bringing a blemish to my clean name. I had worked hard all my life and had been cheated. Everything was fine until I hooked up with Slim, then things started going downhill. My man is bad luck! I felt like it was time for me to make some personal changes, and I knew when my group, the Wadsquad, blew up and Big Willz Records got on the map, I was going to handle business a lot differently than they had. It seemed like the game was set up for people to get screwed out of money.
I knew that it was possible for everyone to be in accord and that personal protection orders wouldn’t be necessary if people wouldn’t lie about one another. I couldn’t believe he said I threatened his family. He and I started as friends, but now we were enemies. None of that mattered, though, because we were on opposite sides—his side, my side, the black side, the white side. We used to be on the same team, and I blame the division on Paul. I also hold Slim accountable for not being a big enough or mature enough man to see Paul’s angle. Hopefully, one day he will wake up, and when he does, Paul is going to catch it. That is if Slim stays sober enough to see it. That’s why Paul keeps him fucked up on Ecstasy and Vicodin, which he does through Mark, making Mark the road manager and the supplier. It’s too wild for me. I don’t need it.
8
THE BIG PAYBACK! I’m back in the real world. Man, I tell you it’s rough. I had gotten caught in the hype when the whole time I was trying to avoid that trap. That’s the power of the music game. It was good to be back to work, back to my family and friends, my wife and my children. You can’t put a value on that. That’s something that you can’t relive and have to take for what it’s worth. The hardest part about coming back home was dealing with all the questions about what it was like being on the road. I was also dealing with this hatred I felt for Paul and Slim, and I had to check myself because I almost got to the point where it was becoming a racial issue on my part, because I was beginning to look at Jews and white people differently.This wasn’t the first time I had been done wrong by whites lying to cover up something else. But then I said to myself, Well, this is life, and people are going to try to screw you over no matter what color they are, especially in this music game. They took it to that level, and I figured I had to be a bigger person than them, rather than fall into the little traps that they were laying for me.
Being back at work was cool, but unfortunately when I got back, I wasn’t able to get the position that I was up for and had to work on the line. In fact, I got demoted, and part of the reason for that was jealousy. People who worked with me saw me on television while I was off and were jealous. I was put in the lowest position at the plant, and it was humiliating. I’ve often wished that things had worked out between Slim and me so I wouldn’t have to deal with that humiliation. But that was a pride factor, and pride can get in the way of dignity. My dignity had been affected because I went from being a platinum-selling artist’s bodyguard to a person who threw coil springs into boxes. People would walk by and laugh and joke, but it was OK because I knew I had a wife and kids to support.
The supervisors would treat me like shit, and the one who did it the most was a Jewish guy. I tried to look past that, but every time I heard the word “Jewish, ” it would bother me. Finally, I decided to grow up and see past that, and I kept telling myself not to let the actions of one man deter me. Anyway, they had me doing the shittiest job in the plant one day, and I was listening to the radio, and lo and behold who comes on but Dr. Dre and Slim, on one of my favorite tracks from the “Dr. Dre 2001” album, “Forgot About Dre. ” One of my coworkers tried to push my buttons, but I didn’t let him. I was a little envious at that moment, but I decided to not waste my energy being bitter. I said to myself, OK, I am an average Joe again and that’s cool. I’ve just got to adjust. It seemed like that DJ was rubbing that song in my face because he just kept playing it over and over in a mix. It reminded me of all the shit I had been through with them, the good times and the bad.
I even took a month and a half off from working on this book because I went through a transition. I decided to do something about it, so I got with one of my artists, Acapella, and she and I talked about doing a song called “Shady Bizzness. ” I wanted her to put my thoughts in a song. I got with Mike, from the Beat Pushers, and he hooked up the beat. Coincidentally, the beat he hooked up was one that I presented to Slim for his new album. Slim liked it, but he wasn’t feeling it. I used the song as therapy to get this off my chest since, due to the restraining order, I had no way of communicating my feelings to him. I couldn’t mail him anything or speak to him. It hurt me because we had been friends at one time, but Paul sealed that fate, and Slim fed into it, so he was just as guilty. I dealt with all this and used my music as therapy in dealing with the fact that I had no money because Paul and Slim had revoked my pay.
When they did that it put all my business plans on hold. You may ask what can you do with $6, 000, but the way I had everything budgeted out, there was plenty I could have done. With the plans put on hold, though, it did give me a chance to finish the song “Shady Bizzness, ” and the book, which will hopefully lead into a screenplay one day. This is how I got through my feelings, and it felt good; it felt like I was making some progress. I was dealing with the financial problems because I had drained my mutual funds and my savings, and we were still behind. It got to a point where we almost had to file bankruptcy because of the money that we were owed from Paul and Slim. We had already written checks against that money, and that put me in a position where I had to work overtime, which my employers weren’t offering a lot of.
My wife was also under a lot of stress. In the turn of a day, I went from being comfortable to damn near poverty level—and I had taken care of these guys! I talked to my attorney, Barton Morris, Jr. , a young brother about thirty-two years of age, and convinced him to take on my case at 33 percent commission. Mike had said he would represent me for free, but I couldn’t even get a return call from him. I think, with him being friends with Paul’s lawyer, they somehow had convinced him not to even deal with me. I don’t want to get into why I suspect that, but I think it has to do with them both being Jewish and not really wanting to step on each other’s toes. I can understand that, but I just wish he had told me the deal instead of just cutting me off the way he did. Anyway, Mike decided to allow Barton to take on my case, and he is a great man for that because he didn’t have to do that. Barton has been doing good work, and it has made me feel like some progress was being made, but at the same time I realized that getting the money owed me was going to be a long, drawn-out process. I was OK with that as long as I could sue to get my money back.
I had to deal with the repercussions of resigning from working with Slim. I did have the urge to call him to see if we could make things right, but I would look at my kids and think of the way he treated me in the past and realize that I would be a fool to go back for more of the same ill treatment. They screwed me over once, so they would do it again. Dignity, pride, and prayer hel
ped me through that. God really guided me toward the right path on this decision, and in dealing with this rebound situation and trying to get the bills paid. By this time, Slim had won a Grammy, so a considerable amount of time had passed. I had forgiven him, but I hadn’t forgotten. I wanted to show them that you don’t do good people bad. You don’t do anyone bad, for that matter. I guess I had to act a fool on this guy to finally get some respect. Money isn’t every thing, and true wealth is family. My father always taught me that. He told me that you can go all around the world, but if you don’t have your family with you then everything is worthless. I really had learned and believed that at this point.
I spent my time in the studio working on the song “Shady Bizzness” and thinking about getting my label back together because people in my group had stopped calling. I guess that since I quit working for Slim, they felt as if I had blown their chances for success. In all actuality, there was no opportunity there. You have to create your own opportunities. Unfortunately, we had a couple of weak links there. I had now weeded out who was real and who was fake among my crew—or I should say they weeded themselves out. I expected more of them to be around, especially during this time, when their support was really needed, but unfortunately they left and went looking for another bandwagon to jump on. I kept myself busy keeping contact with the connections I had made on the road and keeping in touch with the remaining true members of the Wadsquad.
We held meetings and talked about how the situation with Slim affected us, and they understood that we were in the same position we were in before we met them, and that we just had to keep moving forward. I could see the bitterness of the Wadsquad toward Slim, but I told them that was my beef and they shouldn’t worry about it. But they saw it as a family affair type of thing, like by Slim messing with me he was messing with them, and they took it personally.They were basically supportive, and I decided to use Slim as my motivation for success in the music business. It was negative that he had done me wrong, but there was no better way to get revenge than with my own success.
A lot of things were now in the open, but Slim had fabricated a lot of lies. That boy was not born in Detroit, so he is not from Detroit. He is always hollering trailer park, but there are no trailer parks in Detroit. He is from a trailer park in Marine City, about twenty-eight miles into the country. Even his own crew members questioned his honesty about where he was from. He had skills anyway, so why did he lie? He may have lived in Detroit a couple of months, and he may have even worked in Detroit, but he is not from Detroit. Now I see why his own mother stepped forward the way that she did regarding a lot of the things that he did and said. I don’t really know a lot about his relationship with his mother, but I am sure that there is truth in both of their stories. He has everyone thinking that he came up in Detroit a little white boy and fought his way to platinum status, but that’s not the truth. He has skills, no one can take that from him, but the important thing is to be true to yourself and to your fans, but it’s a little too late for that now.That’s the same thing that Vanilla Ice did. Slim, you contradicted yourself. You grew up in a trailer park like you said, but there are no trailer parks in Detroit.
When I first started writing this book, it was out of revenge. My father always told me that if you dig one hole for someone to fall in, you may as well dig two because you are going to need one of them for your self. I always kept that in mind as I was writing this book. At the same time, the book of Proverbs tells us that there is a time to fight and a time to walk away. I walked away so I could fight, because I was in a no-win situation. I wasn’t fighting physically; I was hitting them in their pockets and in their fan base with the truth. I was telling it the way it happened. This is nothing personal, Paul and Slim. This is the real deal.
Now that I have closure and am using Slim as my motivation for success, I finally put my plaques on the wall.They remind me of everything I went through, and one day they are going to be worth some money because he is going to do something stupid like OD, and I am going to have to lock them up in a vault to keep them from being stolen. I do wish them both the best though, and I pray for them often. I pray for them to change their ways, because there are a lot of people out there whom they
Big-Naz and bodyguards introduce “Shady Bizzness” to Detroit metro Borders book signing. owe money to and a lot of folks out there whom they disrespected. There are a lot of folks out there who want to hurt them. They may not know it, but there are quite a few people out there, on both coasts, who want to do something to these guys. I hope and pray for their safety because they are going to need it.
I did the song and the book. People have called me crazy for doing these things, but that’s OK because I am crazy. To make it in the music business you have to have a gimmick or you have to have talent, one or the other. It just so happens we have both in my crew. I decided to put the song “Shady Bizzness” out on the Wadsquad EP to let the world know how Slim is.This is also my way of talking to him since I can’t talk to him personally, due to the restraining order, so I plan to use mass communication to get my points across. My attorney and I have gotten together to try to get Paul and Slim to come to court, and, not surprisingly, they have canceled every time. Paul and Slim didn’t expect me to fight for my money, so of course they were intimidated. Rather than face me like men they chose to flee, like they usually do. They had hoped for my money to run out, so that I would no longer be able to afford my attorney. By the blessing of God, however, my attorney agreed to take my case on a contingency basis, so I have nothing but time. In fact, my attorney charged more than theirs, but I was able to negotiate a feasible deal, and Paul and Slim couldn’t understand that. They realized that they weren’t the only ones with some connections and some pull. They were obviously nervous, and I loved it.
The whole month of February, Paul and Slim kept canceling court dates. Finally, the judge subpoenaed them to come to court. At this point, Slim and Paul talked to their attorney to try to cut a deal to drop the gun provision, so that I could keep my gun permits, but to keep the restraining order in effect until they got their personal items back. I told them no deal. I wanted my money. My attorney made a bold move by calling for a hearing, but Slim knew that if he showed up, the tables could turn on him for brandishing a weapon, and he could be prosecuted for a firearm felony. Paul, Slim and their attorney knew this and knew that they were the odd men out now. They knew they had fucked up when they lied and said I threatened their families. I never threatened to kill anybody.
March 15, 2000 I was on the Internet checking my e-mail and, much to my surprise, I got a return e-mail from XXL magazine. They wrote that they were interested in hearing more of my story on Eminem. I got in touch with the assistant editor, Vanessa Satten. She told me they were interested in doing an exclusive interview about this book, which I agreed to do in exchange for a contact to help me publish this book, a close-up story on this book, and an article on the Wadsquad with pictures. She said she would present that to her boss. I told her that Slim and his manager, Paul, hate this magazine with a passion and that they denounce XXL worldwide everywhere they go and that Slim even makes a remark in his raps about using XXL as toilet paper. I told her to tell her boss this information as well. Later, she called me back and told me that they agreed to negotiate what we discussed and to have my lawyer take care of the legal end of the deal. We agreed as well, and we’re going to be doing the story. The plan was to drop it during Slim’s second album release.
On March 22nd, Paul and Slim canceled another court date, so we decided to play some hardball. I had my lawyer subpoena Kim, Slim’s wife, to be one of my witnesses. It would work out perfectly because there was rumor of divorce in early March. She would have no problem taking my side because, allegedly, she was trying to take him for all he had any way. When Paul and Slim saw Kim’s name right next to one of his mistresses’ name on the witness list, they freaked out, their attorney freaked out, and they didn’t know what to do. Immediately, they
wanted to make a deal and pay the money back that they owed me.They knew that we would get Kim to open up, and when we were finished providing her with certain information, she would take him for even more money. They wanted to play hardball, so we brought out the aluminum bats! And we didn’t strike out! So, Slim and Paul went back to the dugout.
On March 29th, Slim and Paul reneged once again on coming to court, which was to be expected. They did agree to pay me $4, 300, which was my Christmas bonus and a week’s pay, but actually they owed me more than that. By this time it was more than the money, though. It was about dignity and self-worth and showing them that they weren’t the only ones who knew people in high places. They may have had big money, but you don’t always have to have big money to fight battles. It is ironic that the name of Paul’s company is Goliath Artists, but we all know what happened to Goliath—David killed him with a slingshot. I felt like I just killed Goliath. I felt like I had a new lease on life, and I learned a lot from working with these guys. I learned a lot in a positive manner but I learned even more in a negative manner. On a positive note, Shady Tours taught me to stay busy and to use my connections. That’s how you keep your name out there and never rest. On a negative note, Slim and Paul didn’t take care of their people. When the Wadsquad arrives, they will be well cared for. You shouldn’t cut yourself short in taking care of people, but those guys were just greedy. I learned how to be driven and to have motivation. It’s always been business, but Paul and Slim made it personal. I am keeping it business.
Shady Bizzness: Life as Eminem's Bodyguard in an Industry of Paper Gangsters Page 17