My mind whirled at what I had become. A killer. I stared at them all partying hard, their drunken dancing making my heart ache. To them it was a normal day, and victory was more important than someone’s life.
Rogue, spotting me in the corner, smiled at me sadly then came to sit beside me and handed me a tumbler of hard liquor. “It does get easier.”
I blinked, taking a large mouthful of the scorching liquid but needing its burn to calm the chill in my body. “How?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know.” He sighed and placed his hand on my knee, giving it a slight squeeze. “But it does.”
I looked at him, a deep frown on my face. “How long have you been here?”
He blew out a noisy breath, his lips rattling as he contemplated my question. “God, about six years now.”
My eyes widened on him. “But you must only be around seventeen.”
He nodded, unconcerned by my shock. “My father sold me to Frederik when I was eleven.” I stared open-mouthed at him, my face displaying every single bit of my disgust and disbelief. Smiling, he placed a finger under my chin and gently pushed my mouth closed. “Careful,” he whispered. “Keep your mouth open too long round here and a sentinel will be popping something in there that you really don’t want.”
My mouth fell open again as my eyes bulged, but when he winked cheekily I couldn’t help but giggle.
Woods, his nickname given for reasons I won’t repeat to you, grinned lazily at me when The Black Keys Lonely Boy came on the stereo. He swung his hips playfully to the sixties track as he danced over to me, a mischievous glint in his eye as he crooked his finger at me. I didn’t miss how Rogue’s body tensed beside me, but when Woods took my hand and yanked me up, slamming my body against his, I once again found myself laughing at his wicked play. “Dance with me, Shadow. I have four weeks of getting to know you to catch up on. You’re the it girl now. Everyone wants a piece.”
He grabbed my hand and twirled me, spinning me out before he pulled me back to him. He sang to me, each word accompanied with a huge toothy grin. His long blond fringe moved as eagerly as he did, and before long, every single West soldier was up and moving as one as Woods taught us the dance moves to the song. We looked like something from Fame as we spun and skipped across the stone floor in the communal area of the west wing, our heavy stomps echoing around the stark hallways.
We all came to a halt when Frederik walked into the room. The smile on his face made me shiver. “Are you having fun?”
We stilled, the music still playing loudly until Mouse slithered over to the stereo and turned it off, the silence suddenly deafening.
“Oh, don’t stop on my account,” Frederik continued before he swung his gaze to me. “I’ve just come to borrow Shadow.” My pulse was racing because of the dancing but it bottomed out when he narrowed his eyes on me. “Walk with me.”
Before waiting for me to acknowledge his order, he turned around and walked back out. All my friends winced, giving me worried glances. Bullet grabbed my hand as I walked past her on my way out. “Don’t let him bring you down, sister.”
I gave her a nod and hurried to catch up with my master. He glanced down at me. “I must say, I’m surprised and quite delighted in your victory.”
I blinked, nearly voicing an “Oh” before I caught myself and managed to be diplomatic as expected. “Thank you, Master.”
“I honestly expected you to fail, and that Ice would be another triumph for East.” We carried on through the west wing, passing my own room and making me wonder where we were going. “It seems my son has seen some potential in you that I neglected to see.”
I frowned when we came to a stop outside Isaac’s quarters, and Frederik turned to me. “I must ask, though… have you instigated a relationship?” He asked the question softly, as though his calm voice would force an admission from me.
I shook my head but I knew from the way my body stiffened that he’d caught my anxiousness. He drew in a breath, a faint growl signalling his annoyance. He smiled then opened Isaac’s door and gestured for me to enter.
I swallowed heavily then stepped inside, my heart beating wildly. I was terrified for Isaac. Even though he was Frederik’s son I knew it wouldn’t stop him punishing Isaac if he had found out how we’d become close.
What I didn’t expect was for my eyes to find Isaac standing in the middle of his room, his jeans around his ankles, and Becca knelt before him frantically sucking his cock as his fingers twisted harshly in her hair.
My whole body heated with a flush, and a deep sorrow settled in the pit of my stomach. My heartbeat pounded in my ears as my skin crawled. I couldn’t move, shock freezing every part of me. Isaac’s eyes found mine then flicked to his father before he pushed Becca away.
“Oh, please continue.” Frederik smirked. His tone and lack of surprise told me he knew exactly what was happening in here, and his reason for bringing me suddenly hit me. I stumbled back a little but when Frederik gripped my arm and yanked me forwards. I winced and tried to look away.
“I – said – continue!” he barked to a stunned Isaac and Becca.
Isaac stared at me almost sorrowfully, his staring eyes slowly blinking but Becca gleefully grinned, her eyes mocking me as she dipped forwards and took Isaac’s hard dick between her lips. Isaac gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, shutting me out as Becca sucked, her noisy slurps bringing forth a sharp gasp from Isaac before she moved back and let him come all over her bare breasts. At fourteen, I had never seen a penis before, and after witnessing the man I’d fallen in love with with his down another girl’s throat, I swore I never wanted to see one again.
“You may leave us now, Becca,” Frederik announced.
She frowned but nodded and picked up her t-shirt, smirking at me as she passed. I diverted my eyes, not giving her the satisfaction of seeing the dejection in my eyes.
“Can I help you, Father?” Isaac virtually spat as he pulled up his jeans and zipped them up.
“Hmm.” Frederik nodded. “Seems as though you two have developed a close relationship. I have an assignment for the pair of you.”
Isaac’s brows knitted together. “What?”
Frederik pulled two brown envelopes from his jacket pocket and thrust one at Isaac and one at me. “Yes. I think Shadow needs to see how you work, Isaac. After all, the girl seems totally taken with you. Perhaps this will be fun for you both.”
“But she’s just a soldier,” Isaac protested. “I’ll take a sentinel.”
Frederik growled and stepped up to his son, his rage potent as his chest heaved. “You’ll do as you are ordered!”
Isaac pulled in a breath, his jaw clenching with his own fury, but he nodded. “Of course.”
“You will leave tomorrow. Everything is ready for you.” Then he turned to me, a cruel smile on his face. “I think you’ll enjoy this one.” He walked away, but when he reached the door he turned back. “Oh, and Shadow, just because you’re leaving the Phantom headquarters doesn’t mean you can… go on an adventure alone. I know exactly where Mae lives.”
My eyes widened and my mouth dried. I gave him a furious nod, telling him I wouldn’t flee Isaac, even if the chance arose. I would never risk Mae’s life. I was there for her, after all.
“Good girl.” He chuckled. “Well, have fun.”
When he disappeared, I turned to leave. “Shadow!” Isaac called out, but I carried on walking, ignoring him.
Catching up with me quickly, he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the kitchen, slamming the door closed behind him to block out his father who was still strolling down the corridor.
“Get off me!” I hissed when he took my hand.
“You shouldn’t have seen that,” he mumbled as he dragged his hands through his hair. “The bastard!”
“Who?” I scoffed. “You or Master?”
He glared at me. “Don’t be pissed at me, Shadow. It was just a blowjob!”
I froze, staring at him like he’d just grown another head. �
��Just a blowjob?” I choked out with incredulity. “Just – a – blowjob?” I pushed at him, my hands slapping at his chest.
He snatched both of my wrists into one of his large hands and pushed me, the base of my spine pressing into the long metal preparation table. “Be careful, pretty girl. Be very careful.”
“You bastard!” I shouted as I struggled with him, but when he slapped me hard across my already bruised cheek, a strangled sob ripped from me, the last twelve hours finally bursting from me in a torrent of emotional despair. “I killed him for you!” I cried out. “I bashed his head in with a fucking rock until my face was covered with his brain and his blood. I had to gamble on not being frozen to death in the damn stream just to wash it from me. I did it for you! I did it all for you! And you… you repay me by…” I screamed again. “Just leave me alone. I wish I had let Ice fucking kill me! I saw my life in the end of his gun. It was pressing into my head.” I snatched my hand from his and poked my finger into the centre of my forehead. “Right there. Right. There. He aimed his fucking rifle at me and told me how sorry he was.”
My fists punched at him, my tears rolling off my chin in an outpour of grief that tore my soul out with them. He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me to him, his quiet shushes making me hate him more, every single one of his fake words of comfort driving a stake through my heart.
“Get off me!” I spat as I pulled away.
He glared at me, his fierce stare displaying all of his anger. “It was just sex, Shadow. Sex. You seem to be confusing sex with sentiment. Fucking, screwing, oral or even a finger in your arse. It’s just sex. A primitive action of enjoyment. Why are you so hurt by it? We’ve only kissed for fuck’s sake!”
I shook my head sadly when he rolled his eyes and leaned back on the counter as he opened his brown envelope. He obviously thought I was a silly girl, a girl who couldn’t control her emotions. But what he forgot was that I had been thrust into adulthood four months ago, the night he decided to use me to anger his father. Because I was sure that’s all I was; an act of rebellion, a “fuck you” to his father’s tyranny.
“Forget it,” I whispered as I turned and started to leave.
“Shadow!” Even through my anger and rage, even through the deathly hum of grief in my ears and the incessant humming in my head, I heard his chilling tone. His face had turned grey as his once fierce green eyes turned to a drab colourless mass. He stared at me with wide eyes, his mouth open as if trying to say something, but his shock leaving him stunned and mute.
Frowning, I pulled out my own instructions.
I had to read the target’s name three times before Isaac raced across the room and caught me.
Mark: Graham Anthony Swift
My father.
SHE WAS QUIET beside me throughout our journey, her face to the window or her head back and her eyes closed every time I glanced her way. I knew she was still pissed with me. I sighed in irritation for the millionth time. I should never have grown as close to her as I did. She didn’t understand how things worked, how sex was just a release, and in a way that was my fault; she was just a kid after all, and I’d failed to explain how things were between us. Yes, she’d had to grow up quickly in the previous four months but still, what the hell did she expect me to do, struggle with blue balls for the next eighteen months? Yeah, not a chance.
“I wish you would tell me what you’re thinking,” I said gently, my pussying around her angering me, but I was desperate for some conversation. Since she’d seen her father’s name on the paper, she hadn’t uttered one word. When I’d fetched her from her room at 5a.m. that morning, she had been sitting, ready and waiting on her bed with a determination that, quite frankly, worried me. She wasn’t allowing herself to be honest and accepting, and that gave way for trouble. I couldn’t afford for her to get sentimental during the job or this could go horrifically wrong.
She glanced at me but remained silent. She needed to find some strength or this was going to be a disaster. Going against all I had told myself through our journey, I reached under my seat and pulled out the other brown envelope, the printout of what Devlin, my secondary in West, had been feverishly working on overnight for me. Devlin was a Godsend, least of all because his latest screw was the secondary to Joel, and Devlin had been craftily fucking all of East’s secrets out of the stupid bitch. I couldn’t fault him, really. A good shag and inside information; he was a sly fucker. But luckily, a sly fucker who showed me his loyalty over and over again.
She frowned but took the papers from me. My stomach lurched but I hoped it did what was needed. My mouth dried as she slowly pulled them from the envelope and started reading. I couldn’t understand my reactions to her. I had never before cared about any fucker, especially a woman, but every single time I was near her my cock was hard and my heart was soft. Fucking hell. I was screwed.
I sighed again at my own thoughts but Shadow must have thought it was in sympathy for her because her first gasp and the way she looked at me with tears in her eyes made my fucking stomach vault.
“Keep reading,” I commanded, trying to be hard because pity and softness were the last things she needed.
“I don’t understand,” she said quietly as I pulled onto the street of her former home and parked a few doors away. A shiver trapped me in a moment of viciousness when I realised exactly four months ago I had parked in the very same spot and changed Shadow’s future, and not for the better. And now she sat beside me a killer, a Phantom.
“He… my Daddy is… a human trafficker.” She shook her head, denying what was written in front of her.
“Well, technically, he’s a slave auctioneer. But yeah, he’s a trafficker.”
I couldn’t help but pity her. My father was no better than hers but I had grown up knowing exactly what he was. Shadow had had a childhood, a happy one, but to find out it had all been a lie, and the parent you loved and looked up to was just a lowlife prick must have been shattering.
“Since I was three,” she mumbled. Her head shook slightly as she carried on reading, her eyes furiously moving across the four sheets of paper as she meticulously read every single word.
She finally lifted her gaze, her eyes unfocussed as they looked to the greying clouds above us. “I always wondered how they could afford such luxuries on a cop’s wage.” She sighed. “Yet my mother has no idea.”
“Apparently,” I mumbled in reply as I squinted at a figure walking up the road. Her head was down as she dragged her body along. But it was her long black hair shielding her face that caused my heart to stutter and the pit of my stomach to growl nervously. Shit. Fucking shit! Stealthily, I hit the door lock button with my elbow.
“Thirty eight girls. Thirty - eight - fucking - girls. How the fuck…? What kind of… evil, vile, twisted bastard…” A growl resonated from her and I stared at her in surprise. I had expected her to deny it, or at the very least have a fucking breakdown, but instead she seemed to change before my very eyes. Her body stiffened, and her chest heaved with each of her deep pulls of air. Her eyes glazed over and her jaw clenched. Her bright blue eyes transformed to icy grey as a malevolence seeped from her.
Then she spotted her. Mae.
A strange long whimper rang out in the quietness of the car. I thought she’d try to get to her, but instead her hand clawed at me, desperate for my own hand as her sweaty palm sought mine. I grabbed her hand and held it tightly, trying to give her comfort and strength as she started to weep.
“Oh… I…” Her head shook as tears scurried down her cheeks. “My beautiful sister,” she cried out with a deep wail. “Isaac… I… Mae… Mae…” she whispered randomly, unable to put together words in her grief.
“She’s doing okay,” I whispered back as I leaned forward and softly kissed her forehead, once again hating that I needed to soothe her distress. This girl was going to be my death warrant.
She looked at me, and for the first time ever my heart clenched with hatred for not only my father, but for myself. Sh
adow, out of everything, missed her twin like someone had cut her in half, which theoretically, they had. “You’ve been watching her?”
“Well, not really but I’ve made sure I’ve been up-to-date with her life.” Catching her chin in my thumb and forefinger, I directed her sad gaze to me. I needed her to shift back to a Phantom, and quickly, when I saw her father’s car crawl up the road towards us. “Your father is the reason you now belong to Frederik.”
She froze, her eyes narrowing, and the hatred that fuelled her stare made my heart beat a little quicker. “What do you mean?”
Sighing, I blew out a long breath. “He owed money. Lots and lots of money. To my father. You and your sister were to be killed in debt of that. But because I… didn’t follow that through and took you, saving Mae, my father now calls for your father’s death.”
We weren’t ever given details of a kill, but I’d managed to piece together certain things, and after Devlin had done his work it had all come together.
Slowly, she turned her head and watched her father pull into his driveway. She watched in silence when he climbed from his car and smiled towards Mae who slowly walked up the drive. He said something to her and she shook her head, her sad gaze shifting to the ground. I’d seen the flyers and the desperate television appeals they had done when Shadow had left with me, and I knew that Mae was the backbone of those appeals. It was like her father really wasn’t bothered. He’d carried on doing business as usual. The heartless bastard. Her mother had gone off the rails slightly, from what I’d managed to find out. She’d started to drink heavily and would take off for days at a time. But then again, I supposed the family home was no longer a close family unit since Shadow had gone. I blinked to myself, wondering how much pain a parent went through. I supposed the not knowing was the hardest thing. I made a mental note to finalise their grief for Shadow’s sake.
The Beginning of Connie and Isaac (The Blue Butterfly #3) Page 7