by Judith Keim
Angela picked up my cell from the floor and handed it to me.
I checked, but I hadn’t missed a phone call or a message from Vaughn.
“What am I going to do?” I asked Angela, holding back a sob with effort. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing.”
“Let’s try to get in touch with Vaughn’s company in New York to see what information they might have,” Angela suggested.
“Good idea.” I punched in the number for Roger Sloan, a producer of the show. I’d once vowed to never speak to Roger again for his malicious attempt to ruin Vaughn’s reputation, but of all the people I could think of connected to the show, he was the best choice for information.
He picked up right away. “Hi, Ann. We’re extremely concerned about Vaughn and Sam. Any word from Vaughn? Any guess as to what might have happened?”
Disappointment caught a sob in my throat. “No. I was hoping you had news of them for me.”
“Sam called me a couple of days ago to say they were taking some extra time to fly north to check out a camp in a wildlife area. That’s why we weren’t concerned when he didn’t call back like he said he would. We figured they had no phone service. We’re trying to get through to the people at Denali Park.”
My stomach churned. “Wildlife area? That sounds pretty dangerous.”
“I know. I hate to think of a plane going down in a location like that. Listen, I have to go. I promise to call you if we get any news. I ask you to do the same for me. Okay?”
“Sure.” Tears stung my eyes as I hung up. Any wildlife area in Alaska surely contained bears or heaven knew what.
“What’s wrong?” asked Angela.
As I filled her in, I heard Robbie stirring.
“Guess I’d better get him up,” I said.
“Want me to do it?” asked Angela.
I shook my head. “He’s going through a phase where he wants to be sure I’m around.”
She came with me as I walked to Robbie’s room. When I opened the door, Trudy ran over to me for an ear scratch. Robbie liked her to sleep in his room when he went down for a nap.
“Mommy! I want down!” said Robbie, holding his arms out to me. He stared at Angela.
“Okay. Remember Angela? She’s here to say hi to you.”
He gave her a steady stare and then his lips curved into a smile that lit his face.
She laughed. “Robbie, you’re such a charmer.”
I changed his diaper and then Angela took Robbie’s hand. “Come get a snack with me.”
He turned around and looked at me.
“It’s okay, Robbie. Mommy needs to lie down for a bit.” Shock waves were flooding through my body, making me feel weak and nauseous.
I made it to my bedroom. There, I climbed under the covers fully clothed and attempted to stop the shivers that ran through me.
Angela knocked and came inside the room. “I’ve brought you some water, ginger ale, and a few saltines.” She set them down on the nightstand next to me and then adjusted the blinds on the windows until the room was enveloped in a soothing, light gray.
“Is there anything else I can do for you? I’ll take care of Robbie and Trudy.”
“Thanks, honey. That’s so sweet of you,” I murmured, fighting fresh tears at her kindness.
She left, and I lay in bed, praying as hard as I’d ever had. Memories of Vaughn and me together assailed me in bittersweet waves—the sweetness tempered by the gut-wrenching idea of losing him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I was awakened by the sound of Rhonda’s voice. “Okay, where is Annie?” she said.
Fighting tears, I lay back against my pillow. Rhonda had left her family to come to me.
My bedroom door opened.
Seeing me awake, Rhonda rushed to my bedside and swept me up into a hug. “Annie, I heard about Vaughn’s plane missing. I’m here for you. We’ll hang on together until they find him. I’m sure he’s okay. He’s gotta be. I feel it.”
“Aw, Rhonda, that’s so sweet, but how can you be sure of such a thing?”
She gave me a steady look. “I sometimes have these feelings,” she said seriously. “And I know he’s alive. Trust me on this.”
I let out a shaky sigh and mentally grabbed hold of this comforting thought. “If he’s alive, then where is he? Do you have a feeling on that?”
She shook her head. “Nope. But they’ll find him.”
I gulped back a sob. “I don’t think I can live without him, Rhonda. Vaughn is everything to me.”
“I know how you feel, hon. Now, I want you to get up and have something to eat. We’ve gotta be ready when we get the news.”
Energized by her enthusiastic confidence, I climbed out of bed and hugged her. “Thanks. I needed that.”
We went into the kitchen and I looked around. “Where’s Willow?”
“She’s home with Will. We all came home together.” She gave me a shy smile. “Will said he couldn’t wait to have some time alone with me. Isn’t that so sweet?”
I smiled. “So things are more or less back to normal between the two of you?”
Her cheeks grew pink. She bobbed her head. “Are they ever!”
I chuckled, pleased to see my dearest friend so happy. Surprised by the tears that filled my eyes and tumbled down my cheeks, I stumbled to a kitchen chair and sat down.
Rhonda sat down beside me and took hold of my hand. “When was the last time you ate, hon?”
I shrugged. What I’d eaten for breakfast and lunch had been thrown up.
Rhonda got to her feet. “Sugar and protein. That’s what you need. How about some orange juice and a scrambled egg?”
“I’ll try it, but my stomach is a mess of nerves.”
Robbie and Angela appeared. Seeing me, Robbie ran over to me. “Mommy, up.”
I lifted him into my lap and wrapped my arms around him. A shiver rippled across my shoulders at the realization that I might be raising this child alone.
Rhonda glanced over at me, reading my thoughts. “Don’t even go there, Annie. Vaughn is coming home to you.” She turned to Angela. “Any more news?”
Angela shook her head. “The dense fog is lifting. They’re searching for them now.”
Robbie twisted around in my lap and patted my cheek. “Love Mommy.”
I forced a smile. “Mommy loves Robbie.”
Sensing my sadness, he lay his head against my chest and wrapped his arms around me the best he could. His tender gesture brought the sting of tears to my eyes, but I refused to let them fall, even as Trudy looked up at me with inquisitive eyes and then lay at my feet.
“I’ve suggested that Robbie have a sleepover with me,” said Angela. “He knows Elena is there, and I think he’d have a good time.” Her voice rose with cheerful enticement.
“A sleepover? How fun!” I said with fake enthusiasm. I didn’t think Robbie should be around me if I got bad news. It might bring up his parents’ deaths and the memories we were trying to overcome.
My cell phone rang. I grabbed it.
“Mom? It’s Liz. My flight’s been delayed, so I’m not going to get there until late tonight. I’m sorry, but I’m there with you in spirit. No news yet?”
“No,” I choked out. “Be safe, honey. I’ll see you when you get here.”
Rhonda gave me a questioning look when I hung up. “Liz’s flight is delayed. She sounded frantic.”
“She loves Vaughn too.”
“Yes, they became close over spring break, dealing with Robbie and all.” In my mind’s eye, I could see them in the sailboat together, laughing and talking. Bile rose in my throat.
###
With Trudy in my lap, I sat in front of the television in the family room staring blankly at some goofy talk show, waiting for Liz to come home. I hadn’t realized how missing one member of my family could make me sick with worry about another. I knew Robbie was safe, but I wanted Liz safely on the ground and with me.
Trudy sensed my unhappiness and kept looking up
at me, then resting her head against my chest. I stroked her back, grateful for her comfort. Rhonda had gone home to feed Willow but promised to return. Will announced he would pick Liz up at the airport no matter what time she got in—a gesture so sweet it had threatened to create more tears.
Memories of good times with Vaughn played over and over in my mind. After being so hurt by Robert, I hadn’t wanted anything to do with another man—until I met Vaughn. Fame hadn’t made him an egotistical jerk like so many other stars. Fame had given him confidence doing a job he found interesting and rewarding. It had brought its share of discomfort too. People recognized him wherever he went, which meant a lack of privacy I still found unsettling. Now, however, I hoped that same adoration from fans meant their prayers for his safety would join mine.
In the early morning hours, when at last I heard the sound of a car pulling into my driveway, I got up to greet Liz. Before I reached the kitchen, she’d opened the door and was rushing toward me.
“Mom! I’m so sorry!” she cried, giving me a hug. “No more news?”
I shook my head. “It’s too dark for them to see. They’ll search again in the morning. Thankfully, they have a lot more daylight in Alaska at this time of year than we do.”
“Vaughn will be all right, won’t he? He’s strong and smart.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t want to lose him too.”
“We just have to hope that he and the others are all right, that it was simply a mechanical failure and they landed safely somewhere.” Saying the words brought me no comfort. Life wasn’t that simple.
Will, who’d been standing by silently, cleared his throat. “Is there anything I can do for the two of you? Rhonda will be back as soon as she can.”
“Thanks, Will. Tell her to get a good night’s sleep and we’ll see her in the morning.”
Will shook his head. “I’ll tell her, but you know Rhonda, she’ll want to be right here in case you need her.”
I smiled. “I know. I’d feel the same way if the situation was reversed. Tell her I’m counting on her for breakfast.”
He gave me a little salute and left.
Liz picked up Trudy and hugged her. “Can she sleep with me tonight?” Tears filled her eyes again. “Not that I’ll do much sleeping. I’m so scared.”
“Me too. But now that you’re home, I guess we’d better at least lie down so we can face tomorrow. Robbie’s at Angela’s house for the night, but he needs to be with us.”
###
The sun was just rising, painting the sky a soft pink, when I got out of bed and padded into the kitchen. Too exhausted to do much else, I fixed myself a cup of coffee and settled in a chair at the table. Staring out at the small sailboat tied up at our deck, I wondered if Vaughn would ever sail it again.
I heard a tapping at the door, and then Rhonda walked into the room.
“Hi, hon! How are you?” She gave me a hug. “I know it’s early, but I couldn’t stay away. I figured if you weren’t up, I’d go ahead and fix a nice breakfast for you. You need to eat to keep up your strength.” She stared at the blank screen of the television. “Oh my God! Haven’t you heard? They’ve found the plane.”
I jumped to my feet. “No! Where?”
Rhonda followed on my heels as I ran into the family room to turn on the big-screen TV.
An announcer was just ending a blurb on the news. “The plane is in an isolated area not easily accessed by vehicles. A helicopter is dropping searchers and rescue workers as close as possible to the wreckage site. They will hike to the plane to check for survivors. They’ve been unable to make contact with anyone there.”
I stared at the silver spot sitting among what looked like a dense forest on the screen and closed my eyes. “He’s dead!”
Rhonda placed a hand on my shoulder. “You can’t think that way, Annie. He’s alive until we know differently.”
I collapsed onto the couch and held my head in my hands. An image of Vaughn smiling at me appeared in my head and quickly disappeared. I looked up at Rhonda with confusion. “I have no idea what it means, but I just saw Vaughn smiling at me.”
“Oh, honey. That’s good. That’s very good,” Rhonda said. “We can’t do anything sitting here waiting for another announcement. Let’s get some food in you.”
“Okay. Then, I want to bring Robbie back here. He needs to be with us.”
“I’ll call Angela. You go get dressed for the day, and I’ll start breakfast.”
I left Rhonda and entered my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and leaned back against the pillows. Turning on my side, I clutched one of the pillows, wishing it was Vaughn. “Come home to me! Please, Vaughn, please!”
The image of the broken plane stayed frozen on my brain. Sobbing softly, I uttered another prayer for Vaughn’s safety and those with him.
Rhonda tapped on the door. “How are you doing in there?”
“I’m going to take a shower,” I answered, forcing myself to my feet to head into the bathroom.
Moments later, standing under a stream of warm water, I felt the tension in my body ease. I straightened as a new sense of purpose filled me. I was going to Alaska to be with Vaughn. The horrible waiting around for news in Florida was too painful.
I dressed and entered the kitchen, intent on telling Rhonda about my decision. Oblivious to the toast burning in the toaster oven behind her, she was staring at the television on the counter.
My stomach fell to my knees. “What’s wrong?”
“They’ve reached the plane. Two of the people are dead.”
“Oh my God! Have they identified the bodies?”
Rhonda turned to me. “Yes, the pilot and Sam Nichols are dead.”
“Oh, that means...”
“And Vaughn is missing.”
Trembling, too weak to stand, I sank into a chair. Vaughn missing? How could he survive on his own? The weather, wildlife, the cold—it would be impossible!
I shivered when I realized that the picture on the screen showed just remnants of what used to be a plane. Fire had damaged the wreckage. “Why would he go off on his own? Wouldn’t it be better for him to stay with the plane?”
Rhonda sat down beside me. We stared at the screen. It showed men rooting around the area looking for clues.
“Now back to our regular programming,” came a voice over the television. “We’ll keep you posted on any updates. Sam Nichols was a highly respected person in the entertainment industry, along with Vaughn Sanders, the actor everyone loved.”
I gripped Rhonda’s arm. “He’s talking about Vaughn as if he were dead.”
“Yeah, I know. The bastard. Until we know for sure, he’s alive. Right, Annie?”
Unable to answer, I simply nodded, hoping it was true.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
After dutifully trying to eat breakfast and failing, I went into Liz’s room to get Trudy. When I opened the door, the dog wagged her tail and then burrowed deeper under the covers. Liz stirred.
“Hi, Mom! Any news?”
I told her what I knew and lifted Trudy into my arms. “All we can do is pray and wait.”
Liz raised her body up on one elbow. “Mom? I dreamed about him last night. I think he’s going to be all right.”
“I hope so,” I said, wondering what my vision of Vaughn had meant—wishful thinking or a warning that he was already gone.
I was walking Trudy out in front of the house when Elena drove into the driveway with Robbie. Seeing me, his face lit with such excitement, my heart filled.
After Elena helped him out of the car seat and set him down on the ground, he ran toward me. “Hi, Mommy!”
Trudy barked and jumped up on me as I lifted Robbie into my arms. It seemed so crazy, this life of mine. Robert and Kandie were gone, Robbie was in my life, and Vaughn was missing. It was a crazy circle of circumstances. I prayed it wouldn’t end with Vaughn’s death.
Chatting about his sleepover, Robbie was unaware of the dire situation.
“How did
he do?” I asked Elena, ushering her inside.
“He missed you, of course, but settled right down when we played our usual bedtime games.” She put her hand on my elbow, pulling me to a stop.
“Ann, I’m so sorry about Vaughn. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Right now, we need to keep things on an even keel here. As soon as I find out that Vaughn is alive, I’m flying to Alaska. I’ll need you here.”
“Okay. You’ve got it.”
I’d just finished making my bed when my cell phone rang. Seeing the number from New York, I snatched it up.
“Ann? This is Roger Sloan, just checking in with you. As I’m sure you know by now, Sam Nichols is dead. Have you heard anything at all about Vaughn? We know they’re searching for him. If he’s found alive, I’m sure you’ll want to go to him. I have a private jet standing by for you. Keep in touch.”
Touched to the core, I managed to get out a shaky, “Thank you.” Roger Sloan had been cruel to Vaughn and me in the past. This was as nice a way as any to let me know he was sorry.
I hung up the phone and returned to the kitchen where Robbie was eating his breakfast. Rhonda gave me a questioning look.
When I finished telling her, she shook her head. “Amazing. Good for him.”
We left Robbie with Elena and went into the family room. Liz was sitting in one of the lounge chairs, her eyes glued to the television. “They’re going to give an update on the ten o’clock news.”
Rhonda and I lowered ourselves into the couch next to each other. “I have a good feeling about this, Annie.”
I smiled weakly. I needed more than a good feeling. I needed to know Vaughn was alive and well.
It seemed to take forever for the news report to go through the major headlines of the day and instant weather report before continuing with news stories.
“And now for the update on the plane crash in Alaska. The plane carrying Vaughn Sanders crashed in a remote area of Alaska. Sam Nichols, the director of the soap opera, The Sins of the Children, in which Sanders stars, has been declared dead, along with the pilot of the plane. Vaughn Sanders has been missing...Excuse me, folks. My producer is handing me a note.”