A Promised Land (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove)

by Jools Louise

  Aaron shook his head.

  “My parents split up when I was a teenager. They both have jobs that keep them away from home for long periods. The strain was too much after a while, and they decided on an amicable divorce several years ago. They’re still great friends, they just couldn’t manage to stay together as a couple.” Aaron said it matter-of-factly, feeling no discomfort at telling the story, it was merely a fact of his family’s life.

  “I apologize, I meant no disrespect,” Captain Abrami said, sounding a little embarrassed to have asked at all. “I was impertinent.” He gestured for everyone to begin eating again, looking a little flushed.

  “My parents have excelled at what they do. I don’t feel like I was left out at all, I just accepted that things didn’t work out for them. I’m lucky, really. A lot of my friends whose parents are divorced say their parents parted in a less civilized way.”

  “My parents would have liked to divorce, but such was not the way in my village,” Kadil spoke up, his eyes shadowed with memories. “I don’t think they got along too well really. Their families would not have allowed divorce. It would have shamed them.”

  “Mine also,” Captain Abrami said in sympathy. “They were born in an age where it was considered a sin to not stay together, come hell or high water.” He sipped from his water glass, looking thoughtful. “I think that marriage should not be such a trial, it should be a partnership between two people who want the best for each other. Not a chore that has to be undertaken because everyone else knows better than the two people involved.”

  Aaron looked over, a spoonful of pie halfway to his mouth.

  “Are you married?” He flushed a little at being so direct, seeing the amusement in the captain’s eyes as he glanced at Aaron.

  “I was, a long time ago.” He shook his head ruefully. “My beloved did not like me being at sea for long, even though I was a sailor when we married, and she knew I had ambition to become an officer. I think she thought to change me. She complained so much that she never saw enough of me, that one day I called her bluff and suggested she might want to consider an alternative lifestyle, away from me.” He chuckled softly, wiping his mouth on a crisp white linen napkin. “She ended up marrying a vinier, and from what I hear, she’s very happy living a life of luxury as the wife of a winemaker who has done very well for himself.”

  He tilted his glass in a toast, then sipped his water again.

  Aaron grinned, toasting him back, then drank as well.

  “What will happen tomorrow?” Akeem asked timidly, staring around the table at everyone.

  Aaron ruffled his dark hair, smiling, trying to hide his own unease.

  “Tomorrow, young man, we find out where we’re going to live.” Akeem grinned, then dug into the bowl of trifle before him, devouring it all in a few short gulps.

  “Akeem, your appetite does you credit.” Captain Abrami laughed, swapping the empty bowl for a plate of lemon meringue pie and cream. Akeem clapped his hands together, smiled sweetly at the captain, and then dove into the new dessert with gusto.

  “I’m thinking I may need a really good job, just to feed this little mite.” Aaron chuckled, seeing Kadil’s startled look. “What?” Aaron asked, an edge of challenge in his voice. “Did you think I would just abandon them as soon as we reached dry land again?” He met Kadil’s gaze steadily, daring him to argue.

  “It’s what I would have done. Before I met you,” Kadil replied quietly, looking a little shame-faced.

  Aaron stared at him, those green eyes intense as lasers, trying to read his soul.

  “What would you do now?” Aaron tilted his head to one side, holding his breath without realizing. The rest of the room faded as he waited for a response.

  “I think maybe I’ll be looking for work, too. Akeem eats like a goat.” Kadil grinned at Akeem’s squeal of protest, the smears of cream and gooey meringue around the little cherub mouth evidence enough of Kadil’s claim.

  “I think maybe a donkey, anyway,” Zada joined in, laughing at her cousin’s scowl, even as he continued eating his pie, glaring at everyone.

  “My dad said I had to eat lots so I could be big and strong like him,” Akeem said, after swallowing the mouthful of food he was chewing. He tilted his chin pugnaciously. Then he smiled. “Besides, goats don’t eat pie or trifle.” He giggled, poked his tongue out at Kadil, and then gobbled up the next spoonful, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

  “Maybe two jobs?” Kadil laughed, rolling his eyes at Aaron who nodded emphatically.

  “At the very least.” They shared an amused look, green eyes locking with liquid brown. Aaron winked at his lover.

  Serious discussions ended there, with everyone teasing the other about portion sizes, the diet of goats and other domestic livestock plus just how many jobs would be needed to keep Akeem in lemon meringue pie and trifle.

  Within another hour, the little boy was snoozing on Aaron’s shoulder, snoring softly. Aaron felt that pang in the region of his heart again, falling in love just a little more. The kid was definitely getting under his skin, and Aaron was fully intending to keep him there.

  He picked him up, thanking the captain sincerely for his hospitality, thanked their chef for the delicious meal, and then carried Akeem off to bed. Zada came along as well, hooking her arm through his, looking sleepy yet content.

  The bedtime ritual began, with Aaron coaxing Akeem to pee while still mostly asleep, which was fun, then tucking him into bed after wiping the mess of sugar and cream off his mouth. A light kiss on his forehead, then Aaron waited for Zada to complete her routine.

  “Do you really think we’ll be able to stay with you?” Zada asked as she climbed up onto the top bunk. Since Akeem had settled down over the past couple of nights, now the danger had passed, he was okay to sleep on his own so Zada could get some rest too.

  Aaron sat on the edge of the bunk next to her, stroking the soft dark hair from her forehead, not wanting to lie to her.

  “I will do everything I can to make it happen, Zada. My mum is great at getting things done. Once I explain things to her, she’ll do what she can to make that happen. If we don’t end up getting to England, maybe we can stay in Italy together. I have a degree in education and history, I speak English, French and a little Spanish. Italian shouldn’t be too hard. I can get work anywhere.” He brushed a kiss onto her cheek, then stood up.

  “What about Kadil?” Zada was proving to be no idiot. “Do you think he will stay, too? He might not want to be with us anymore. He said he wanted to meet up with his friends in England.”

  Aaron looked down at her, sighing a little.

  “I would love for Kadil to stay, he’s said he would like to. We’ll see what he decides tomorrow.” Leaning down, he kissed her nose gently, smiling as her arms went around his neck, hugging him tightly.

  “I hope he does. I think maybe he needs a family again. I don’t think his family was very kind to him. He said they kicked him out when he was a child. He needs someone to love him. He needs people he can trust, people to take care of him.” She looked sad as she pulled away and Aaron nodded in agreement.

  “We can’t force him to do anything, little one. But I think he already has someone who loves him, don’t you think?” He winked at her, smiling as she nodded.

  “He has three people. Me, you and Akeem, yes?” Aaron waggled his brows at her statement, and she giggled, rolling her eyes.

  “I’ll take that as a yes. Now go to bed, Aaron. It’s a big day tomorrow. You need your beauty sleep.” Her dark eyes laughed at his look of mock offense, then closed with a contented sigh as sleep came calling, dragging her down into slumber.

  Aaron shook his head, smiling at her, then turned to leave.

  Kadil stood in the doorway, silent and serious, his expression unreadable as he stared at Zada.

  Aaron stalked toward him, switched off the light. Brushing past the silent man he then left the cabin, heading into the one he shared with Kadil without saying a word to
his lover.

  The man looked like he still had some decisions to make, despite his profession of love in the aftermath of passion. Aaron left him to it. As he’d told Zada, he couldn’t force the man to do anything. He knew how he felt, he just wasn’t as convinced that Kadil felt as strongly. The guy had been a virgin for fuck’s sake, a man in his mid-twenties who had experienced the intense pleasure of making love. Aaron wanted to believe he was enough for Kadil, but he couldn’t help the self-doubt that was creeping in the nearer they got to Naples.

  Once they reached their destination, all bets would be off, at least that was the uncomfortable idea that was taking root inside his head.

  Chapter Nine

  Kadil watched as the dock drew nearer, feeling a strange sense of foreboding that had come out of nowhere. He was tense and out of sorts, feeling like he was being pulled in two directions at once.

  He had planned for years what he would do when he left Syria for pastures new. He would head north, across Europe and find his way to England eventually. There was always work available for a bright young man with experience working in top notch hotels. He had managed to secure references from some of his jobs. His last one, the manager had even proffered one without Kadil having to ask, two days before the bombing had started.

  Kadil had no clue how the guy knew, but he had somehow sensed that the city would not be the same for some time. He had given Kadil an out.

  Last night, after dinner, Aaron had spoken with Zada. Kadil had listened with an ache in his heart as the little girl had mentioned his family, and his need for a new family, for someone to love him and for him to love back.

  He was no fool, and knew that in a lot of places same-sex relationships thrived. Men brought up children successfully, safely, with few people batting an eye. Kadil had grown up for the last twenty-six years having it drilled into him that such things were sinful, that there was only one lawful partnership.

  He wasn’t sure he could just step into a long-term relationship with Aaron, even though he felt nothing but love for the man. He had to come to terms with who he was, face his demons, before he could offer Aaron any kind of commitment.

  He knew Aaron would be okay. The man had family who loved him. The children had Aaron. Kadil…well, he’d just have to suck it up and go what he’d always done. Look after number one.

  “You’ve decided, then?” Najib stood beside him, a world-weary look on his face, looking resigned.

  “Look at him, Najib. He’s strong and beautiful and kind. He has a career lined up, he’s smart and has qualifications that will get him a good job. He has prospects.” Kadil stared at where Aaron and Tonio where standing with the children, waving to people on the dock as the cutter cruised into port.

  “What do I have to offer? A tight ass and a nice smile. Wow! What a prize I am.” His mouth turned down in a bitter moue of self-derision. “Even my own parents threw me out rather than have to deal with me. What does that tell you about me? I don’t want him thinking I’m just using him. I have to strike out on my own, pay my way.”

  He felt Najib’s arm around his shoulders, a strong hand squeezing his bicep.

  “Aaron knows you have a long history of people leaving you alone. He knows, too, that your sense of self-worth is at an all-time low.” Najib’s voice was mesmerizing, his words resonating inside Kadil’s brain. “He’s smart and kind and handsome, as you said. Do you think he’s the type of man that would expect you to be anything but yourself? Do you think he would risk everything? That he would have been with you on board a ship where anyone could figure out what you feel for each other, without loving you?” Najib turned Kadil to face him, gripping his shoulders firmly, giving him a shake.

  “Don’t lose him because you’re afraid to reach out for what you want. We all have doubts. I lost Tonio all those years ago because I didn’t think he could possibly love a poor, rough fisherman from Tartus. Life is too short to spend alone with only your bitter regrets for company.” Najib shook him again, his eyes fiercely passionate, willing Kadil to believe him.

  “I lived a lie my whole life, because I was afraid. I loved my wife and my daughter, and chose the traditional, safe route so I didn’t have to face myself. I lost them anyway. I loved Tonio far more than I loved my wife. She always knew that. Now I have found him again, and I don’t intend to lose him. You were right the other day. I have nothing left in Syria except heartache and death. I have a chance with Tonio. We’re both in our forties, not getting any younger. We don’t want to waste any more time apart.”

  Najib’s arms came around Kadil’s slim shoulders, hugging him tightly.

  “You are a good, brave, beautiful man. Don’t let anyone stop you believing you deserve happiness and love. You do. Look at Aaron and those two beautiful children who adore you and tell me you don’t have those things already.”

  Kadil locked eyes with Aaron over Najib’s broad shoulder, cursing himself for being such a fool. No one could look into those green eyes and not see all the love and worry there. Aaron’s emotions shone out of him, for everyone to see. The man didn’t know the meaning of subtlety when it came to his feelings.

  He closed his eyes against the force of Aaron’s emerald stare, still feeling his doubts battering at him, still not quite believing that a man so beautiful as Aaron could possibly want to be his. But he wanted to believe. He wanted to belong.

  He stepped away from Najib, thanking him with his eyes.

  Najib accepted the silent gratitude with a smile, clapped a hand on his shoulder, and the pair headed toward Aaron and Tonio. Two sets of eyes meeting as though an invisible force guided them, smiles lighting them as they shared a wealth of emotion in that one moment.

  “So did we decide on how many jobs I would need to keep Akeem in desserts?” Kadil asked playfully, tickling the little boy’s belly.

  Aaron sent him a smile, his eyes glittering with several emotions at once. Relief, love, humor and that inner strength that told Kadil everything about the man.

  Their attention was diverted by a loud shout from the dock, a small blonde woman bouncing up and down like a spring-loaded toy, waving her arms like a lunatic.

  “Is that someone you know?” Najib asked drolly, grinning at Aaron’s embarrassment.

  “Yes, that’s my mum.” Aaron sighed, then grinned and waved back, glad to see the force of nature that was his mother.

  The woman may be a fiercely intelligent terror in the courtroom, but here she was just mum. He may act embarrassed a lot of the time, mostly because she went out of her way to do so, her teasing legendary. He loved her, though, and couldn’t imagine having anyone better as a parent.

  He stood back as the crew slung fenders along the side, preparing holding ropes which they threw to the waiting hands on the dock. The engines were cut, the ship kissing the dock gently as she came to a standstill, smooth as silk.

  Before they knew quite what had hit them, Aaron’s mother was being permission to board, her small slim figure clad in a deep pink power suit, three-inch-deep pink heels and a look on her face that boded ill of anyone getting in the way of her reunion with her son.

  Kadil watched with envy as she was swept into Aaron’s arms, the pair obviously deeply loving each other. He glanced at the children who were looking in awe at the petite bombshell, who was chattering away at her son a mile a minute, not letting him get a word in edgeways.

  Aaron sent a humorous, laughing look over his mother’s shoulder at his friends, who grinned back.

  “Now then, where are the darling children you’re wanting to adopt, my dear boy?” Aaron’s mother Anne released her son, turning her fierce green gaze on the nervous-looking children.

  Immediately her demeanor softened and she knelt before them, uncaring of the hard flooring underneath.

  “Well, now. Aren’t you both just beautiful? Akeem and Zada isn’t it?” Her voice was kind, her smile sweet and Kadil watched the children fall under her spell in a heartbeat, returning her smile shyly.<
br />
  “Are you happy that my son wants to take you back to England?” she asked the question gently, and they nodded eagerly. “I am so sorry that you lost your families. How terrible for you.” She held out her arms, and they rushed to her, enclosing themselves in her warm embrace, lips trembling.

  “Aaron, you must introduce me to your mother, when it is convenient.” Captain Abrami stepped up on deck, his debriefing of the crew over, not seeming too bothered about protocol.

  “Captain Abrami? A pleasure to meet you, sir.” Aaron’s mother gave the kids a last hug, then got nimbly to her feet, dusting off her skirt briskly. She reached out to grasp the captain’s hand firmly, eyeing him intently.

  “Please, madam, my name is Alonzo. It is my pleasure, to be sure. My commander was most impressed by your determination to help out in the matters before us.” He spoke with tactful diplomacy.

  Kadil hid a grin as she gave the captain a look of reproach.

  “Your commander, as I’m sure you’ve surmised, was left in no doubt of the repercussions to his current status as base commander, should he prevent the repatriation of a British national, two recently orphaned relatives of the Syrian ambassador to the UN, plus my son’s good friend, Kadil, who I am about to meet right now.” The captain’s eyes sparkled with amusement at her tart observation.

  Kadil’s smile was wiped from his face as the formidable female approached him. The children held back, staying beside Aaron as she inspected Kadil.

  “Well now, young man. Kadil, is it?” Kadil nodded, speechless with nerves for once.

  She smiled, tilting her head as she met his gaze, her green eyes identical to her son’s.

  “My son has told me all about your escape from Damascus, your help in securing passage out of Syria and your continued assistance with these darling children.” She leaned in closer, lowering her voice, and he gulped, wondering what was coming next.

  “He also tells me that he has found love, and would like to build a home with both you and the children, back in England. Is this your intention too?”