Raven laughed. “Liar.” He sauntered off and the pain in my chest eased because of his kindness. I’d live. Galahad made his choice in Valla and I’d live. Eventually it would stop hurting and I’d yearn for love again in another’s arms. I’d live.
Exhaustion overrode everything else in the end and I stopped working when the sun was swallowed by the sea. The others were all quiet around me and Lance watched Galahad with something like contempt in his eyes. We ate on deck but away from the shifters and I realised I needed to blend us together as a group. Galahad’s sisters clearly took my side and so did Raven’s men. The shifters were confused by the unspoken hostility and Galahad became more withdrawn as the evening progressed. I needed to fix this.
“I can’t tell a story as well as Torvec but I can try,” I said loudly enough for everyone to hear.
A few of the sailors agreed and a few remembered some of the bawdy ones I’d told previously, which made my ears hot and Morgan laugh. “I think we’ll keep it simple tonight,” I said.
The story involved a giant, a maid and knight. I told it well and the knight won the day with the girl marrying him. Valla snuggled against Galahad as the cold night wind whipped around us and I smiled at her in reassurance. People began to relax as those not on watch partook of rum. When the story finished the music began and I moved away from the centre of attention without anyone noticing. I wanted to lick my wounds and privacy wouldn’t be easy on the Echo. Apparently I hadn’t succeeded this time either.
“Holt?” Galahad’s hesitant tones shot through me, making me flinch. I’d managed to find a quiet place on the quarter deck, but not quiet enough.
“Please, Galahad, go back to Valla,” I said.
“I need to talk.”
“We’ve done all the talking we are going to do,” I said. “Give me a few days grace and I’ll have forgotten all about it.”
A long pause ensued, so long I thought the dark shadow I’d taken for my nemesis was in fact a part of the ship. The shadow moved. “I can’t forget,” he whispered.
I groaned. “Don’t do this, you fucking fool. Don’t tear me apart. You clearly care for the woman, be happy in her arms. Live a normal, healthy life and breed dozens of squalling brats on her or some other wench. Stop torturing me.” Anger flashed hot and bright through me the longer I spoke. I did not want to sacrifice myself to Galahad. I wouldn’t do it.
The shadow moved toward me where I leaned against the guard rail and resolved itself into Galahad. “I’m torturing myself. You weren’t there when I woke up, she was. Where were you? I found her in my arms and... and it just... It kind of just happened.” He sounded hurt and confused.
“Fucking doesn’t just happen, Galahad,” I snapped.
“I swear, Holt. I was inside her before I woke up. And then it was all over and she was happy, you weren’t there. I didn’t know what to say or do and everyone is so angry with me and disappointed and it hurts. It burns here,” he said thickly, touching his chest. “I know what’s right and I know what I want and they aren’t the same thing,” he pleaded with me in his tone, hoping I’d understand.
I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed his face in both my hands and kissed him with savagery. He groaned and clutched me to his chest, holding me hard. We were both panting when I stopped.
“Didn’t she smell me on your skin?” I asked.
“I lied. I hate myself for it but I lied. I told her you’d shared the bed because of the lack of space.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke.
I ran my fingers through the fine black hair. “You fucking idiot,” I said.
He nodded. “I know. I’m just so confused, Holt. After last night. The way I hurt you... I just thought...” He shrugged, unable to think of anything else to say.
“I guess you need to make the decision of a lifetime,” I said. “I will give you all the time and space you need but you are going to either break my heart or Valla’s and you need to decide which. I cannot help you with this, Galahad, and I cannot make it easy.”
He nodded. “I know. I am acting without honour.”
I smiled. “You are acting like a young hot-blooded man let loose for the first time and trying to find his way.”
My words didn’t seem to help. They just made him more miserable. I drew him into an embrace and we kissed once more, gently, lovingly, and the pain of the day drew away from me on the waves the Echo sheared through on her drive for the southern oceans of Albion.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
All good things have to end and Galahad drew away from me. “I should tell Valla,” he said. Our fingers entwined and made my heart soar, a movement of intimate friends.
“It would be wise to end things with her but leave me out of it,” I said. “We will keep this quiet, give us both time to understand all the implications.”
“I know what I want,” Galahad said.
“You knew what you wanted last night,” I said gently. “One step at a time, Galahad.”
“You don’t trust me,” he said sadly.
I thought about how best to answer honestly but carefully. “This morning you were making love to Valla,” I whispered.
“And the morning before you were with Torvec,” he countered.
“Yes, but I didn’t know you wanted more than friendship. In fact we were hardly that at several points over the last few weeks.”
He frowned, knowing it was true but not wishing to acknowledge his bad behaviour. “Fine, we’ll do it your way. It will hurt her I think.”
“I think will be a terrible shock. I think she’s in love with you,” I said. “Take it gently.”
“This feels like a rite of passage. Kill your first man, break a woman’s heart,” he muttered unhappily.
“Just remember I’m not made of stone either. However and whatever you do, it is your decision but until you explain it is over you should not be intimate with either of us,” I said firmly. Of course it was easy for me – I was winning the prize.
Galahad nodded and released my hands. He squared his shoulders and nodded again. “Where will you sleep tonight?” he asked.
“On deck,” I said. “It’s a warm enough night and I need the space. It’s been a confusing day and I’m tired.”
He nodded, looked as though he wanted to say more but left me, merging once more with the shadows. I smiled to myself, still feeling his heat on my lips and hands. I wanted to let my heart ride the high winds but I needed to stay focused. This might not be real. He might change his mind, again. He might never end things with Valla.
“But at least I know he feels something,” I said.
I stayed out of the way until everyone went below stairs to their bunks. I found a spot on deck, grabbed a blanket from a shared pile and settled down to stare at the stars while the ship rocked gently underneath me. After a long and hard day as well several difficult nights, I vanished into sleep very quickly.
Something clamped over my mouth, my eyes flew open and I reached for my knife.
“Shhh,” Galahad knelt over me. He removed his hand.
“What are you playing at?” I hissed, angry with him for the fright.
“Can’t sleep.” He tugged at my hand. “Up, talk,” he said.
I sighed, trying to rid myself of dreams. “I just wanted to sleep,” I muttered, pushing myself up and trying to make aching arms and legs work. I finally stood and picked my way through snoring bodies. I glanced at the tiller and caught sight of the dark shadows keeping watch.
I followed Galahad over the deck and behind the large boxes that held unused sails and other items. “What’s wrong?” I asked, still cross with him.
He muttered something I didn’t hear before throwing himself at me and knocking me back into the large box. His mouth sought mine and we were kissing, savagely, passionately and the last of the sleep vanished. He groaned as if in real pain and his hands yanked on my clothes, clearly anxious for flesh. I matched his movements, pushed beyond thought for the moment, happy to just feel
him touching my starving skin.
He finally lost control of my mouth and his teeth worried at my shoulder. I whimpered and felt something being pushed into my hand. “I found this in your things,” Galahad murmured.
My small bottle of oil, nicely scented and very slick. “Galahad...”
“I want you to do this,” he whispered. “I ache. I can’t sleep for thinking about you. Please, Holt, release me from this torment.” His words growled over my skin and wrapped me up in his passion.
My hands were shaking when I took the bottle off him. “Sweetheart, I need time to make this easy for you. If I do this in a rush, it will hurt. I don’t want that.”
“I don’t care.”
“I do,” I said grabbing his face and making him look at me. “Slow down.”
“No,” he wrenched his head away. His dark eyes caught the moonlight and I saw the desperation burning through him.
“Fuck me,” I said quietly.
“I don’t want to fuck,” he said. We were chest to chest. “I want to make love to you.”
I smiled. “Not exactly an ideal place for love, Galahad.”
“Stop trying to screw this up,” he growled, snatching the oil out of my hand. I chuckled and pulled off my hose, Galahad stripped and for the first time we were both naked at the same time. He kissed me, pressed his body tight to mine and ground his groin against me. All that power, muscle and lust drowned me and I wanted to be suffocated by this new desire.
I pulled my mouth from his and turned, my back to his chest. Galahad gave me almost no room, his body covering mine as he bit and licked and kissed my back. With his mouth close to my ear he whispered, “Ready?”
My hands flexed against the chest and I nodded, unable to speak. The familiar scent of my oil hit me and my straining cock began to really hurt with the need to fuck. Galahad’s hand slipped between my legs and he found that sweet spot quickly. I shifted to give him more room. His hips pressed against my back and I felt him try to guide himself into me. At this point his innocence betrayed him. I remained still and patient, he would not appreciate any help.
Finally, the tight pressure I recognised made me gasp. He leaned into my body and pushed upright, whispering, “I love you, Holt.”
My head dropped at the words and the actions. My exhausted limbs shivered with the effort of keeping us both upright. He moved slowly, holding my hips, his breathing came hot and fast against my back and I knew he took his time to be able to really feel what he was doing and why. I loved him for that, no rushing, no denial, just perfect sex.
I wanted to reach for myself but couldn’t without losing my balance. Galahad must have sensed my need as his hand grasped my cock and I bit back a long moan, aware of sleeping bodies around us.
“Holt, I can’t hold on. I have to...” he whispered.
“Take it, love. Take it all,” I said, unable to care about the consequences. He moved faster, harder and I braced. He rode me with a savagery I loved and I felt him reaching his ultimate pleasure. He paused for a moment and shuddered. His hands encircled my chest and he pulled me tight to his body, upright and pushing me down even further onto his body.
He kissed my ear and neck. “I love you,” he whispered. He pulled out of my body, my lust still pushing hard against me. I turned, kissing him before he pulled back and dropped to his knees. He shocked me by drawing my cock into his mouth.
“Fucking hell,” I murmured. It didn’t take long, it really didn’t take long at all before the pressure built. I tried to pull back, not wanting to frighten him but he didn’t allow me and everything I was in that moment poured into his body. He took it all.
When I finally finished, he licked the end of my taut body and grinned up at me. I touched his face in wonder and he rose, all fluid grace. He looked older, more in control and happy. He actually looked happy.
We kissed and he tasted of me. I devoured his mouth, grateful for his love, surrender and dominance. We were together, warm and safe in each other’s arms.
“We need to clean up,” he whispered. “Sex is messy.”
“You need to return to Valla,” I said.
He sighed and leaned his forehead against my shoulder. “I know, but I want to stay here.”
“You have to tell her, Galahad. You must tell her and make it quick. We must hide this until she has completed her mourning period. It will give you time if you need it,” I said into his soft hair while he continued to shelter against my body.
“You still don’t think I mean it, that I love you,” he said.
“It’s a big leap from where you were just a few days ago,” I said. “Give me time and yourself.”
He nodded and we dressed.
The rest of the night passed peacefully but I didn’t sleep much. The sensations of Galahad’s body pressed against mine remained a fevered dream more than a reality without him here to hold me. I lay on my back and thought about how real it felt compared to the dream-like quality of Torvec’s love. With Galahad the sex roared through me, making the world almost brutal in its intensity and very earthy. With Torvec... I’d moved as if in another reality, more air and water than earth and fire. Torvec’s obviously powerful fey, or otherwise, power transported me into realms which didn’t really exist and left me confused when I was deprived. I smiled to myself. I liked earth and fire.
Towards dawn I must have nodded off because a toe poked my ribs. “Up, Prince Charming, we’ve work to do today,” Captain Raven grinned at me. “I hear you had a busy night.”
“Excuse me?” I said, scrambling upright.
Raven laughed. “Oh, Holt, you are lovely when you blush.” He clapped me on the shoulder and wandered off, still laughing. Some of the other hands glanced at me slyly and chuckled. Well, I thought, it wasn’t the first time I’d been caught playing the fool.
The day’s work began but I had a lighter heart and soon found the object of my happiness working alongside me. He smiled and looked coy, but before long we were singing shanties with the others and the Prince of Albion started to become a sailor.
Around noon we found ourselves jobless and wandered to the rail, able to stare out to sea. The sun warmed our naked backs, while the wind cooled the sweat on our bodies. The sails were full and we were making good time. My shoulder constantly bumped against Galahad’s, our fingers were entwined while we talked about nothing.
“Galahad?” Valla asked from behind us.
You could have struck us with a bolt of lightning we moved apart so fast. “Valla,” Galahad said with some surprise. “I thought you were feeling ill.”
“I needed some air,” she said, talking to him but looking at me and frowning. “Everything alright?”
“Everything is fine,” he said. I glanced at him. He’d not told her a damned thing. I felt like smacking him hard for her sake.
“I’ll go and find us all some food. If you feel unwell, Valla, you should remain on deck,” I said. “I’ll talk to you later.” I threw this last remark at Galahad and loaded the sentence with my irritation. He flushed red and nodded.
I walked off but couldn’t quite make myself go out of earshot. I found myself behind the chest we’d used the night before and listened.
“What’s going on?” asked Valla. Not a stupid or vacuous woman. “You’ve been odd with me since we arrived. I thought you wanted us to be together? I raced over the face of Albion like a rabid dog for you.”
“I know and I’m grateful,” Galahad said in a pleading tone. “But things have changed. I have a lot to think about. My mother is dead. My foster mother is trying to kill me and... and I have the throne to think about.”
He’d bottled telling her about me. Even though I’d suggested we remain a secret. I felt hurt.
“The throne?” Valla’s contempt made my blood run cold. “You have to consider the throne of Albion? Sure it’s not the throne of Camelot and the arse that sits on it?”
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Silence met this statement and the sile
nce went on for far too long. “I t-tried to tell you y-yesterday,” he stammered.
“Yeah, sure, you tried so fucking hard while screwing me. Was it before or after you’d spent the night fucking Holt?” she snapped. I could picture her body language and expression. I should not be listening to this but I had to know.
“It’s not like that, Valla,” Galahad tried.
A sharp slap brought my head up and Galahad’s soft cry of pain forced me from my sanctuary. “Hey, that’s enough. You don’t hit him for this,” I said to distract her.
“Well,” she sneered. “If it isn’t the little bastard’s pet pervert.” Her face twisted in pain and the words were not truly meant but they stung.
“Enough, Valla. We’ve done nothing wrong. You aren’t his wife –”
“No, it looks like you are, or is it the other way around? Does the princeling like it up –”
“Enough, Valla,” I repeated over her next words.
Tears stood proud in her eyes. “You son of a bitch,” she lashed out at me and her hand blurred. I tried to deflect the blow but a body knocked me sideways and I watched in horror as I stumbled – Valla’s hand turned into wolf’s paw and she slashed at where my face had been and Galahad’s now existed. Blood flew from her paw and his face as it snapped sideways. His lip, cheek and eyelids were all torn.
We were frozen for a heartbeat, until Galahad groaned and dropped to his knees. Valla gasped and back pedalled away from him. I reversed my stumble and dropped to his side, lacing my fingers through his to stem the flow of blood.
“Get a fucking cloth and get help,” I barked. “Now!” I shouted at the horrified woman. Valla stumbled away.
“Don’t speak, don’t move. Help is coming,” I told him.
He moaned low in the back of his throat. “Look at me, Galahad,” I ordered. “Look at me, love.” His dark eyes rolled toward me and I smiled encouragement. “That’s right, don’t speak, don’t move and you’ll be fine. I’m here, I’m not going to let you go.”
The Pendragon Legacy: Sons Of Camelot Book One Page 15