Cowboys & Horses

by C. J. Laurence

  He smiled when he saw me. “I think that suits you even better.”

  I glanced down at the length of it hanging around my mid-thigh area. “It’s huge. I could make a parachute out of it.”

  Laughing, he held his hand out towards me and motioned towards the barn. “Fancy another drink?”

  I nodded and placed my hand in his. My heart was working as hard as a jack hammer. My ribs were beginning to hurt from the incessant pounding against them. Sipping away at our beers, we made small talk as we watched the people on the floor line dancing the night away. After an impressive show of what looked like perfect choreography, the band mellowed the tone to a slow, soothing melody.

  Brady leaned into me, his hot breath skipping across my skin and sending goose bumps shooting all over me.

  “Fancy a dance?” he said.

  His body heat was radiating through me, sending me into a whole new spin. And now, now he wanted us to dance? Press our bodies close together in an intimate few moments of already bubbling tension, make me crave him even more? How was I supposed to rationalise anything when he was having this effect on me?

  “Sure,” I replied, my heart rate spiking even more.

  He took the bottle from my hands and led me to the dancefloor. Couples were already snuggled up against one another— from old married folk to youngsters fresh in love. But where exactly did we fit in?

  Picking out a spot in the middle, he slid his arms around my waist and pulled me in close. Trying not to focus too much on his hands being on my lower back, I dared myself to rest my arms around his neck. The spicy scent of his aftershave circled around me, drawing me further inside his embrace.

  He took the last few inches between us, bumping our hips together. With our faces so close, a volcano of heat erupted inside me. The anticipation of what might happen next consumed me to such an extent that when his lips brushed against my ear, I gasped and shuddered inside his arms.

  “You look stunning tonight,” he said, his voice barely even a whisper.

  I murmured a thank you back, praying he couldn’t feel my body overheating. I glanced over his shoulder and found my attention captured by an elderly couple a few feet away. They were cuddled against one another as if it was their last dance. The woman’s head was nestled against her husband’s chest, and he rested his cheek against her grey hair. Both of their eyes were closed with contentment, warm smiles enveloping both of their wrinkled, happy faces.

  A deep ache tore through me as I gazed upon them. That was what I wanted. I wanted a true love, a love that stands the test of time, and is still with me in my golden years. Who would be the man holding me so tenderly? Ben? Brady? Or someone I was yet to meet?

  I squeezed my eyes shut as if it would rid my mind of the thoughts, but it didn’t. An image of Ben floated before me. His bright green eyes were dancing with joy, and his familiar face creased into that lop-sided smile I’d come to adore over the years. And then came the memory. The one single vision which I’d burn my eyes out for if it would remove it from my mind.

  That wasn’t the Ben I knew. That wasn’t my childhood sweetheart, the man who more or less owned every part of me. I didn’t know anything but him. Could I really close the door on a decade of my life, our lives? What was this with Brady? Was it just a holiday romance attraction? Some deep desire for revenge? Or something more?

  I suddenly understood what John meant about dragging Brady into my problems. I was such a confused mess, how could I expect him to step into this? Despite the profound longing I had for him to press his lips to my skin, ease the physical ache growing within me, I had to listen to my head, not my heart.

  The hypnotising rhythm of the song blended into the start of another waltz, and I couldn’t take any more. The constant carousel of thoughts whirring around and around my mind were driving me crazy, along with the desperate fight to not react to the gorgeous man with his arms wrapped around me.

  I drew back, taking just a second to feel his muscled shoulders beneath my fingertips. Like butter on hot toast, I liquefied into nothing. I couldn’t do this. I had to go.

  “I need some air,” I said, before all but running for the door.

  As I left the safety of his hold, I suddenly felt very bare, naked almost. My body was screaming for his contact the second he released me.

  I headed for the safety of the corral, needing the sturdy fence to help support me. The comforting scent of horses and leather calmed me as I leaned against the top rail. I rested my arms on top and flopped my head down on them, closing my eyes. Why was nothing simple in life? Why did everything have to be such a life changing decision?

  Then it hit me.

  Ben had literally changed our lives the moment he even considered my sister in that way. He had obviously thrown all caution to the wind and not given another care, yet here I was, in a quandary because I’d done...nothing?

  Even though we were stuck in a limbo, neither together nor apart, he still had this hold over me, yet I clearly had no hold over him. He claimed he thought of me, felt guilty and all the rest of it, but which is worse? Thinking of me and doing it anyway, or just doing it without a second thought?

  I sighed and glanced up into the clear night sky. Watching the stars glowing against their contrasting background, I found myself a little lost, but also a little more found. This was my life. It was mine to do with as I wished, to share in whatever way I deemed fit, with whoever I thought worthy.

  Hearing footsteps crossing the dirt, I turned to see Brady striding towards me. My heart burst into a new life, pumping adrenaline through me at a rate of knots. I admitted to myself then that I wanted him. I wanted Brady Lancaster. And I wanted him to want me.

  “Brady, I’m sorry. I just—”

  I don’t think he heard my words. His purposeful march never faltered once. Those alluring dark eyes of his locked onto me, pulling me back into his world. He cupped my face, and melted his soft lips to mine.

  Chapter Fourteen

  His sudden assault on my senses stunned me for a few seconds. As his delicious kiss sent my head into a spin, the only stability I could find was to lean against his broad chest, clutching at his shirt. With his soft lips pressed to mine with such breath-taking passion, I allowed myself to be thoroughly swept away in the moment.

  That was it for me. Right there, under the twinkling stars in the middle of the desert, being kissed by a damn fine cowboy was the highlight of my life.

  I parted my lips, desperate for him to explore. When his tongue met mine, a slight whimper escaped me. The slow, gentle stroke nearly melted me into a pool of simmering heat. He caressed me into serene bliss, hot tingles spreading throughout my body as my mind became encased by a fuzzy fog. I was utterly useless, and completely lost to him.

  Losing all sense of time, I had no idea how long we canoodled for before he broke our kiss. He pulled away barely millimetres, just enough to whisper his next words.

  “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that since I met you.”

  I had kept my eyes closed until then, enjoying the moment between us, but those whispered words were enough for me to spring them open.

  “But you were such an ass to me...”

  He stared at me, his captivating chocolate eyes picking apart the very insides of my soul. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m...complicated.”

  I moved my head back, the intensity of it all overwhelming me. “You’re not kidding.”

  He still had a hold of my cheeks, and began stroking tender patterns over my heated skin. “I like you, Sophie. A lot. I have since the second I saw you walking towards me with that cheeky grin of yours.”

  “So why were you so horrible to me?”

  “I gave you my horse to ride. That wasn’t being horrible, really, was it?”

  “Cody?”

  He nodded. “He was my sisters. She rescued him as a foal, trained him herself, and absolutely wiped the floor clean at competitions. He hasn’t been the same since she died—he loved K
elsa as much as I did.” He sighed and gave a wistful smile. “But that day I met you, something inside me changed, and I knew it would change him too. He’s shown no one affection since she died, not even me. Heck, the poor chap despises me. Our relationship is more one of convenience—he needs a rider, and I need a bloody good cow horse.”

  I smiled. My mind was whirling in a thousand different directions. “Why didn’t you just...be normal around me? Telling me not to make your job difficult, calling me a city girl...it was almost like you wanted to make me hate you.”

  “I did. I wanted you to hate me so I couldn’t do this.” He motioned between us, a pained expression glazing over his face. “Losing Kelsa was so painful...to then create a bond with a woman, in a partner sense, it scared me. Hell, it still does. I couldn’t handle going through that pain again.”

  I nodded, disappointment flooding me at his frank admission. “I understand.”

  He took his hands from my cheeks and grasped one of my hands. “Then you told me what happened to you, what made you come here, and it made me really angry. I couldn’t stand the thought of what that guy did to you. It was then I knew I had to stop it. You’ve had so much grief from men already, you didn’t need any more from me. If it meant me putting myself out there, then so be it. I knew if I let you get back on that plane home without at least kissing you, I’d regret it for years.”

  I was lost for words. My head was in a spin, my body longing for his touch, and my heart torn.

  “I just...” I took my hand from his, and took a step back. “This all seems too good to be true. I mean how cliché is this right now? Am I just another English girl for your hit list? To forever be marked as one of ‘Lancaster’s Ladies’ or something?”

  He burst out laughing, leaving me staring at him in disbelief. After a second or two, I couldn’t help but laugh with him.

  I covered my face with my hands, embarrassment taking hold of me. “I don’t know where that came from. Sorry.”

  He peeled my hands from my face and brushed a kiss over the back of one. “As amusing as that was, no, Sophie. I am being honest and genuine.”

  To say I felt numb was rather an understatement. What was I supposed to do with all of this...emotional revelation? I left him wondering for a minute or so as I allowed myself the time to properly digest all of this.

  “So what happens now?” I asked.

  “Anything you want. We can just pretend it never happened if that’s easier for you, or we can just enjoy the time we’ll have together.”

  I pursed my lips, fighting a raging internal battle. “The time we’ll have together? So, basically you want three weeks of fun before I go home?”

  He sighed. “No, not at all. What did you expect me to say? Pretend it never happened, or we can go get married?”

  I giggled. “No. I just...what if we go down this road and I decide I want to go back to Ben? Or what if we go down this road and I decide I don’t want Ben? Where does that leave us? With either situation?”

  He smiled and placed his hands on my shoulders. “We can figure that out when we get there.”

  I smiled. My heart dissolved into a liquid pool at his feet. I wanted his touch, his kiss—now. Right now. My head screamed at me to stop—I was here to sort myself out with regards to my home life, not make things more complicated.

  Sighing, I threw all caution to the wind. I was here to enjoy myself, to revel in the things I wanted for a change. After everything I’d been through so far, why couldn’t I indulge myself in a little fantasy?

  I tightened my hand around his, and whispered, “Kiss me.”

  As if it was some sort of reflex action, he dropped my hands and wrapped his arms around me. Curled inside his warm embrace, I clutched at his shirt to give me some sense of reality. His velvet lips glued to mine with such tender passion, I became lost in the waves of shivers and tingles drifting through my body.

  In that moment, I was lost to him like a ship at the mercy of the ocean. I didn’t care about tomorrow or next week—all I wanted was this.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I woke the next morning in my usual hazy fog. It took a good few seconds for the memory of Brady’s lips on mine to surface. I couldn’t help the massive grin that instantly spread across my face. Tracing my fingers over my bottom lip, warmth surged around every part of me as I recalled his soft, passionate embrace. I’d never wanted that kiss to end.

  My moment of elation was short lived however when a shot of dread settled in my chest, reminding me that for the first time ever, I’d kissed someone other than Ben. Having been with him since I was fifteen, he was all I knew.

  An internal battle raged inside me. One side of me curled with guilt, punishing me for being unfaithful. Yet the other side reigned stubbornness and the right to indulge myself in whatever I wanted because of what he’d done to me.

  I frowned. I didn’t want to involve Brady in all of my drama, and especially not to use him as some sort of rebound or revenge thing. But, the emotions he stirred inside me were something I’d not felt since first meeting Ben. They were creeping through me, slowly claiming and consuming every last part of me. It was invigorating and exhilarating in its own right—and I didn’t want it to end.

  A soft knock at the door cut through my thoughts. Excitement bubbled in my gut—I knew who it would be. I opened the door, biting my lip to curb my grin.

  He took his hat off, smiling. “Morning.”

  I couldn’t help my cheeks turning a bright shade of red. “Hi.”

  “You sleep ok?”

  I nodded, still sporting my goofy smile. “You?”

  His eyes twinkled as he nodded. “I wondered if you wanted company for breakfast?”

  A burst of adrenaline clenched my heart, my breath catching in my throat. “Sure. That would be nice.”

  He lifted a hand to my face and pulled my bottom lip free from my teeth. “Don’t bite your lip, Sophie—” He ran his thumb over my lips, his focus fixated on my mouth “—I love those little pink pillows of yours.”

  I laughed. “Pink pillows?”

  “Yeah,” he said, dropping his contact. “A pillow is something so soft and enticing, you want to rest on it.” He took a step towards me and slipped an arm around my waist. “And I would happily keep myself on your lips all day.”

  My heart thudded with such force, I felt it in my throat. A heady mix of adrenaline and scorching heat pulsed around me, leaving me almost frozen in time. He was saying all the right things, he was doing all the rights things, how was a girl supposed to resist this?

  “So how about that breakfast?” he said, all but whispering.

  I nodded, hypnotised by his early morning closeness. He smelled so damn good—whatever fruity shower gel that was, I wanted to bathe in it. I rested my hand just above his hip with a firm enough hold to feel the solidity of his muscles beneath. Desire took a hold of me. The yearning to just slip a finger beneath his shirt and feel his silky, honey brown skin was almost too much to bear.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, refocusing my body and mind on the matter in hand. “Yes, breakfast.”

  He chuckled. “You...err...want to get dressed?”

  Horror crept over me, flooding my desire with nothing but embarrassment as I realised in my eagerness to open the door, I’d presented myself to him in a pair of shorts and a crop top. My cheeks erupted as I mumbled my apologies, grabbing my dressing gown from the back of the door.

  “It’s fine. I’m not complaining.” He stepped back, ending our moment. “I’ll wait out here for you.”

  I rushed to the shower, cursing myself as I got ready at breakneck speed. When I emerged from my room twenty minutes later, I couldn’t help but smile as he stood from the bench he was sat on, and strode over to me.

  “You look good in the mornings.”

  I blushed. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

  “How’s your wrist?”

  “Ok, thank you.”

 
“Think you can manage a day in the saddle?”

  A small grin crossed my lips. “Why?”

  “Well, we need to move some of the critters from one pasture to another. I could do with a hand keeping the stragglers in check.”

  “Critters?”

  “Cattle. Sorry, cowboy lingo.” He flashed me a cheeky grin.

  I resisted the urge to scream with joy as I nodded my acceptance. Excitement coursed through my veins as visions of what the day would entail filled my mind. After filling myself with pancakes and orange juice, I headed outside to see Cody already tacked up, ears pricked and waiting. Brady was sat on the big bay mare he’d ridden yesterday.

  I frowned, confused. “I thought you said you used Cody when you needed a good cow horse?”

  He patted his horse. “She is a good horse. She’s in training. Cody knows the job like the back of his hand. He’s just the easier choice for me. But whilst you’re here, he’s yours.”

  My cheeks burned at his words. Why did everything he said have such a profound effect on me? Was it because for the first time in a long time, he was making me feel like I was important to someone? Like my wants and needs mattered more than their own?

  ‘Pink pillows’ echoed through my mind and I had to stifle a giggle. I swung myself into Cody’s saddle just as four of the other wranglers rode up to join us. They all tipped their hats at me, smiling with pleasantries before giving Brady funny smirks. I told myself not to even wonder what he’d said to them.

  We had an hours ride across the bleak landscape before we would reach the pasture. When we did finally come across a fence line, the sun was just starting to scorch the earth once more, leaving me breathless in the dry heat. Beads of sweat were already rolling off me and I dreaded to think what a mess I must look.

  I scanned along the fence line, my eyes widening in shock as it trailed off into the horizon to goodness knows where. “This is what you call a pasture?”

  Brady grinned, his dark eyes dancing with amusement. “This is one of the smaller ones—only a couple hundred acres.”