by Julia London
That left Jenny and Edan standing side by side. The silence between them could not have been more awkward, but this time, Jenny couldn’t think of words to fill the silence. “Sooo,” she said. “Lorenzo and Elizabetta.”
“Aye,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at the happy couple, who were now regaling Rosalyn and Hugh with some loud tale.
Edan glanced at Jenny, and he looked...entirely too tentative.
“Okay, enough,” Jenny said. “What is the matter with you?”
Edan looked at her as if she’d miraculously sprouted another head. “With me?”
“I don’t see anyone else standing here.”
Edan shook his head. “I, ah…“He shoved his fingers through his hair. Rubbed his chin. Looked around at everyone in the courtyard and said, “I’ve got to finish some work. And your friends will be back soon. We’ll speak later?” He walked into the inn.
Jenny stared at his back, stunned by his awkwardness, his obvious desire to get away from her. “No,” she whispered. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily.” She went after Edan.
She brushed past Vanessa and Brooke returning to the courtyard. “Hey!” Brooke said loudly.
“I’ll be back. Wait for me!” Jenny commanded. She kept going, her hands fisting at her sides. She would really like to punch something just now. Preferably Edan’s gorgeous face. But she had a few things to say to him first.
She marched in through the door and stood in reception. Not here. Jenny banged on the reception bell, gave it five seconds, and then marched through the door clearly marked “Staff Only” and into his office. Wilbur and Boz were startled by her appearance at his door and leapt to their feet, barking.
Edan leapt to his feet, too. “You nearly scared me out of my wits.”
“I rang the bell, but no one came,” Jenny said.
“You really need to give a person time to respond,” he said.
“Why are you being so weird?” she cried.
Edan sighed. “I’ve a lot I’m trying to sort through.”
“Is that it? Or did you get what you wanted?” Jenny snapped.
Edan’s face flushed dark. “What?”
“I’m surprised, that’s all, and maybe I’m way off here, but I was under the impression you needed a whole lot more than sex. I thought you needed a friend, Edan!”
He snorted. “I donna need a friend precisely—”
“Of course not,” she interrupted angrily. “Because you’re going to run back to your ex. You’re going to give up everything you’ve accomplished here for a woman who doesn’t even want you. She doesn’t love you! Is that the way you want to live your life, chasing after someone who doesn’t love you?”
Edan’s gaze narrowed. He folded his arms over his chest. “You should no’ speak of what you donna know,” he said quietly.
“Am I wrong?” she exclaimed loudly. “We had an amazing night, Edan—totally, freaking amazing! The stars were shining and little birds were singing, and fairies spun gold around that fucking bed, and you talked to me! You actually talked. You opened up and you let yourself breathe, and then, the next morning, poof, that man was gone,” she said gesturing into the space of that phantom man.
“If you will take a breath and allow me—”
She was not taking a breath until she’d said all she needed to say. “I don’t know why you suddenly wanted to pretend nothing had happened between us because it did, and the only reason I can think that you would is because you used me for sex until you can make it back to your fiancée.”
Edan’s face darkened. “Are you quite through?”
Tears welled in her eyes, and if there was one thing she hated, it was tears. “Yes,” she said, her voice shaking. “Wait—no. I’ll just say this—my dad is coming next week and we’re going to make an offer for your inn. You can leave next week. You don’t even have to finish closing the inn. You can run, Edan.”
His jaw tightened. “Are you through now?”
She did a quick rake through her muddled thoughts. “I think so.”
“I’ve been distracted, Jenny, because I’ve made a decision. The decision is foolish and verra much unlike me, but I’ve decided I’m not prepared to sell the inn.”
Jenny’s heart staggered and plummeted in her chest. She couldn’t take those words in. For the first time in forever, she had found something to look forward to. She believed she’d found where she belonged, what she was meant to do, and he was going to yank the rug out from her? Why? Why would he do that? “What?” she asked weakly, hoping she’d misheard.
“Jenny. I think —”
She hadn’t misheard him, and suddenly, she thought if she heard another word, she would be sick. She jerked around, colliding with a cabinet in her haste to get out, tripping over a dog, banging through the door as he called after her.
She fled out to the drive and found Vanessa and Brooke. “I have to get out of here,” she said, choking on the words.
“Sure, of course,” Vanessa said. “But you need to drive. We’re shitfaced.”
“Jesus,” Jenny muttered. She couldn’t even have a decent meltdown without karma interfering.
Sixteen
Edan staggered back to his quarters, his dogs on either side of him like little sentries, as if they expected he was going to fall and they were going to have to drag him to his bed. Frankly, he was surprised he hadn’t fallen, because he felt like he’d been hit by a bus.
He’d watched Jenny and her friends speed away from the inn, acutely aware that he couldn’t have handled that any worse if he’d tried. What he’d meant to convey was that he was going to stay. With her. He wanted to tell her about these new feelings he was having, but damn it if Jenny didn’t have an astounding capacity to talk. He hadn’t been able to get the words out.
He tossed back two whiskies in quick succession and tried to sort it out.
He did care for Jenny, very much, more than was reasonable. He didn’t know why he couldn’t say it this morning, or even this afternoon. Why he thought he ought to have a plan for it. Perhaps because he was afraid of his feelings for her? Afraid of pouring everything into a woman only to find out she couldn’t abide him? To have his heart shattered all over again? Was it possible that his concern she was involved with Lorenzo a shield he’d given himself so that he wouldn’t have to face his own truths?
That sounded ridiculously deep, the sort of thing you heard on lonely heart radio.
Edan didn’t know what the truth was, precisely, he only knew that he was drunk and it was dark when he went in search of his flashlight and stumbled up the path to the graveyard.
He’d never been up here at night, and he didn’t like it—it was more than a wee bit spooky. But he hadn’t known where else to go where he could think, uninterrupted.
He perched on his aunt’s headstone. “I’ve made a mess of things, Clara,” he said. “Do you remember how Audra complained I never had much to say? Turns out, I’ve actually got quite a lot to say, but canna manage to say it.”
He watched the dogs sniff about for a moment. “I want to keep the inn, aye? I think I always have. I think I was so afraid of going it alone and, well, I bloody well hate to lose. When Audra left, my pride was hurt, aye? And I didna like the lonely nights, I’ll be honest. But then someone amazing came along and everything happened so fast and I couldna get the words out. I have to learn how to get them out, aye? I canna spend my life chatting up a grave.”
He suddenly lost his balance and slipped off the headstone and landed on his ass. He sighed and fell onto his back. “I meant no offense, Aunty,” he added gruffly. He blinked up at the stars overhead and said, “That’s it, then. I’m staying here. Even if Jenny won’t stay with me, I’m keeping the bloody inn. There is nothing for me in Scotland now.”
He got to his feet and picked up his flashlight. “I miss you more than I can say, Clara. But I must learn to talk to the living.” He patted the headstone.
The flashlight flick
ered then went out.
He banged it against the headstone and it flickered on again.
As Edan made his way down the path to his house, the light went out again. Then fluttered on again. He gave it a shake. Nothing but a strong, steady beam.
He didn’t believe in ghosts and spirits. He didn’t for a minute think Clara was sending him a signal. But it did make him wonder…what would Clara say if she were here?
Get on with it, Edan, she’d say. He could hear her voice, could see her expression as she said it. Get on with it, Edan.
* * *
Edan knocked on Rosalyn and Hugh’s cottage door at seven o’clock the next morning. Hugh answered in his boxers, a cup of tea in his hand. “ Has something happened?”
“Aye,” Edan said. “I’ve got to a wee emergency today. Tell Rosalyn I need her to man the front desk. Sandra will do the cooking.”
“Aye, of course,” Hugh said. “Are you all right? Can we help?”
“Never better,” Edan said, and turned, walking briskly to his car.
He drove straight to the resort and walked up to the reception desk. People were milling about, several of them dressed in tennis togs. A young man was manning the reception desk and smiled when Edan approached. “Good morning, sir, how may I help you?”
“I’m looking for some women.”
The young man’s brows shot up.
Good Lord. “No’ like that,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Friends. Their names are Vanessa and Brooke. Two of them, aye? Tall and pretty. One blonde, one brunette.”
“Last name?” the man asked.
“Ah...I donna know either surname.”
The young man’s face turned slightly pink.
“Look, I need to talk to them. If you could just phone up.”
“I wouldn’t know who to call, sir,” he said coolly.
“Fine,” Edan said, and tapped his fist on the sleek mahogany reception desk. “Then I’ll wait.”
He waited until nearly eleven. He had dozed off in a plush easy chair—they could do with chairs like this at the inn—and was jostled awake by someone passing too close. That’s when he saw Vanessa walking up the stairs.
He quickly followed her, but couldn’t quite catch her before she went into a room.
A few steps behind her, Edan knocked on the door. Several moments passed without a response. He knocked again. This time he heard something hit the floor that sounded like a stack of books, and in the next moment, the door swung open, and Brooke braced herself against the frame, wincing painfully, a palm pressed to her forehead. “Don’t. Knock. Again,” she said darkly.
Her hair looked like a bird’s nest. She was wearing a tiny T-shirt and sleep shorts. She squinted at him, and he could see that it took a moment for her to register who he was. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to speak to Jenny,” he said. “Is she here?” he asked, trying to see past her.
“My God, the lights in this hall are bright,” Brooke moaned.
“May I speak to her, please, Brooke?”
“She’s not here, Romeo. Vanessa took her back to her room last night. Now go away,” she said, and fluttered her hand at him in the signal to go.
God, but he was a bloody idiot. In his haste he hadn’t thought to check room 215? He sped back to the inn and strode inside and straight to her room. He knocked loudly, but there was no answer.
“Edan?”
Edan whirled around to see Rosalyn standing behind him with an arm full of linens. “Have you seen Jenny?”
“She’s gone on to Black Springs.”
Edan blinked. “How? She doesna have a car.”
“Lorenzo. He’s already back,” she said, and nodded in the direction of his room.
Edan walked past Rosalyn and down the hall, to the large room Lorenzo always took. He pounded on the door.
Lorenzo opened it at once. “Good morning, Eddy,” he said brightly.
“Where is she?” Edan asked.
“Who?”
“Jenny Turner!” Edan said impatiently. “Where is she?”
“Ah, but she’s gone,” he said. He suddenly smiled. “My plan, it has worked. See, Elizabetta, my plan has worked!”
Elizabetta said something impatiently in Italian.
“What plan?” Edan asked.
“To make you jealous,” Lorenzo said, and poked his chest. “A man, he likes to do the chasing, no?”
Edan grabbed Lorenzo’s collar. “Where is she, Lorenzo?”
“Black Springs,” he said. “She takes the train.”
Edan growled, pushed Lorenzo away, and strode down the hall.
“You are welcome!” Lorenzo shouted after him.
Edan drove like a fiend to Black Springs. He was too late, he had to be too late, but he had to at least try. He pulled into the train station’s parking in record time, so fast that he almost collided with a bus. He leapt out and ran into the station, pausing to look at the board. A train to New York was due in ten minutes.
He raced down the train platform to find her. It was Sunday, so there were a lot of weekend travelers headed back to the city, crowding the platform. He hurried through, looking at every face.
Jenny wasn’t on the platform. His heart sank. She must have caught an earlier train.
He turned to walk back into the station, racking his brain for what to do next. He’d have to convince Vanessa or Brooke to put him in touch with her, that was what. He felt absolutely ill with regret. And ridiculously stupid. A bloody fool. Hope was slowly bleeding out of him when a conversation filtered into his consciousness.
“My favorite is peanut butter cups. Do you have those here? It’s amazing how hard it is to find good junk food at the place I was staying. They need a vending machine if you ask me. People want a little snack from time to time, you know what I mean? I had to beg for a sandwich there once.”
“Dollar fifty-four,” a male voice said.
“Personally, I prefer the dark chocolate peanut butter cups. They’re heart healthy, did you know that? Well, not healthy, but, you know, healthier.”
Edan slowly turned, his heart beating so rapidly it felt as if it would leap out of his chest. Jenny was standing at a kiosk that sold magazines and candies. He didn’t know how he could have missed her—she had on wide-legged trousers that had been tie-dyed, a white T-shirt, and a red sun hat. And, of course, her yoga mat strapped to her back. There were several packages of snack foods on the counter before her and a couple of magazines.
“Jenny,” he croaked, but she didn’t hear him at first. “Jenny!”
She jerked around at her name, her eyes wide. “What are you…? How did you...?”
“I need to speak,” he said, sounding like someone who had just crawled out from under a rock. Which fit him, metaphorically.
“No.” She turned back to the counter.
“Please, lass. I need to speak. To you.”
She sighed. “Fine. Go ahead,” she said, and handed the pimply kid a bill. The kid made change, his attention on Edan. He handed it to Jenny then said, “Say it, dude.”
Edan froze. He glanced about. His heart was slamming against his chest. He couldn’t possibly say all that was in his heart here, in front of everyone. He could hardly say it at all. But when he didn’t speak, Jenny shrugged, picked up the bag with her purchases, and started walking toward the platform.
“Jenny, wait.”
She stopped. She slowly turned around to face him. Edan couldn’t help noticing that several people had slowed to see what was going on, too. Jenny folded her arms, waiting. And she said nothing. At the most inopportune time, she said not a word.
A man strolled by. “Women,” he said with vitriol.
Yes, women. Edan couldn’t live without this one. He cleared his throat. “When I said I decided not to sell the inn, what I meant to say is that I want to be with you,” he blurted.
“That’s weird,” the kid said.
Jenny said nothing.
“I led with the wrong thing,” Edan said. “What I was trying to say is that I...I have these feelings,” he said, gesturing at his chest. “Strong feelings. I think that you and I would make a great team.”
“Oh, it’s a job interview,” the kid said.
Jenny reached into her bag and took out a candy bar and began to unwrap it.
Edan closed his eyes a moment. “Jenny... I have never met a woman like you, aye? You’ve opened my eyes to possibilities in my life I never saw before. I donna want you to go.”
She looked up from her candy bar, and still she said nothing. She was suddenly mute? Had she finally run out of words to utter? After the hundreds upon thousands of words she’d used this week, now was the time the well would run dry? Was she just going to stand there and let him twist at the end of his rope? “I…I donna know what to say—”
Jenny rolled her eyes and turned to walk away.
“Except that I want you to stay!” he called after her. “You are a light that appeared in my dismal existence! You opened the windows and let the air in! Do you want the full truth, then? Brace yourself, lass, for you may no’ care for it. But the full truth is that I am falling in love with you!”
Someone behind him cooed with delight.
Jenny stopped walking. She turned halfway back, her lips parted with surprise.
“I donna know how it will work, you and I—but I know that I canna let you get on that train without asking you to stay and at least see what happens between us.”
The announcement that a train was approaching the station flooded Edan with panic. Had he said all that he needed to say? Was it enough? Had he said the right things? He moved close enough to her now that he could catch her hand. He squeezed her fingers, laced his with hers. “I’m asking you, from the bottom of my heart, to stay and see if this magic between us is real.”
Her eyes lit, but still she did not speak.
Edan groaned. “Why do you no’ speak?”
“Because what you’re saying is so beautiful, I don’t want to ruin it,” she said, and then smiled with the force of a thousand suns. “I’ll stay, Edan, are you kidding me? You need me so bad.” She threw her arms around his neck, then planted her luscious lips on his. “And I need you, too,” she said into his ear.