by Leanne Davis
He had not yet figured out what to do about work, his brother, his grandfather or the rest of his life. He’d laid sleepless in bed all night, tossing and turning, wanting to call Kylie a dozen times. Wondering what she was doing. How she was hurting. He hadn’t expected her phone call. Nor what she’d asked.
He finally turned and started the shower. He had to do something. He finally started to clean up and wait the few hours until he could see Kylie.
****
Ally and Kylie came together in a car he recognized as their mom’s. His heart beat faster. Good. She must have gone home and talked to them, reached out to them, and Tristan was sure they were the kind of family to embrace her, help her, and love her. Unlike his own, who simply searched to bury wrongdoings at all cost.
Ally glared hard at him. He waited leaning against the building. Kylie merely stared at him, face blank and unreadable. He stepped forward.
“Hi.” When had he ever felt this timid or unsure?
“Is the security feed on site here?” Kylie’s tone was cold and curt.
“Yes. It’s on the first floor. I’ll show you.”
“We will be taped coming in?”
“Well, yes. There is twenty-four-hour surveillance. I’ll go do it, I promise. But…”
“Yeah, we don’t trust you. All right. I’m going,” Ally interrupted him. “Ky? You want to wait here?”
“No. I’ll come in.”
He felt like he was not even there. She talked around him, and looked right through him.
He unlocked the front door. There was dim lighting interspersed around the lobby. No one else was around. He took them back into the security office that had a full time, around the clock security guard manning it. Tonight Phillip worked. He’d already talked to him on the phone and explained what he needed. No whys. Phillip didn’t care why. Just that Tristan had authorization to access his firm’s images.
“I pulled all the footage from the date you specified. There it is. Just click there,” Phillip said.
Ally and Kylie stood just behind Tristan. “Okay, thank you, Phillip. Do you mind if we have a few minutes?”
“Nope. I’ll just go check around.” Phillip left and the girls stepped beside him. He sat down and fast-forwarded until the times matched when Kylie arrived at the office. Then there was her image, walking into the reception area, down the hallway, and there Tristan was, scowling at her from his doorway. There was no audio.
“No wonder you looked like you wanted to kill me that day. I could have run into anyone.”
He glanced at Kylie. Then he shook his head and stared harder at the screen. He flipped around to different screens. “The only surveillance we have is in entry, hallways, and back stairs.” He quickly erased the images for the hour before, during, and after she was there. Just in case. It was all gone. He felt better, lighter. He was impressed she’d thought of this.
He spun around and found both of them still squinting at all the images. “How do we know you speak the truth?” Ally said.
“I don’t know what else to do to prove it to you, Ally. I just—” He ran his fingers into his hair. She was tough, demanding, exacting, and suspicious. The complete opposite of her sister. He glanced up at Kylie. “I’m here, aren’t I? Erasing video of you because you asked. What would be the point of tricking you if I went so far as to have you come here and do this? That would be a pointless charade. I’d just have said no and not done so. To my knowledge, there is no video or pictures…well shit, that’s not true. Here.” He reached into his pocket and withdrew his phone. “Take it. Keep it. You’ll find them.”
Kylie had grabbed it out of surprise. She held his phone. She stared at him without a word and then finally swiped at the screen.
“Password?”
He winced. He’d forgotten that part. He felt the blush rising up into his face as he mumbled, “Your birthdate.”
Her gaze shot to his, wide now with surprise. Shock, even. He shrugged. What could he say? It had been easy to remember. She quickly typed in the month and day and his phone opened to her. She clicked on his pictures and started flipping. There wasn’t much. He didn’t take very many, ever. Most were innocuous ones of her.
She stopped and stared harder at one. “I didn’t know you took these.”
Ally strained her head to look, probably thinking they were some telltale clues to what a crap-hole jerk he was. Like he took some naked pictures of her in his apartment or something. Instead, he was sure she meant the ones of them sledding. They were barely together, but she’d looked so happy in the snow, the world shining around her. He knew exactly which ones. The same ones Tommy had found on his computer. He liked the pictures. They made him feel calm to remember them, and so he’d copied them to his computer too.
“Yes.” He sighed and stood up. “Come on, Ally, you can come up with me. I copied those to my computer. Let’s go erase them and you can look around and confirm there’s nothing else I’m hiding.”
Ally watched him, uncharacteristically quiet. Kylie tried to hand him back his phone. “Here… just… whatever.”
“No. I can buy a new phone. I can’t buy your trust. If this gives you a measure of comfort, then I’m happy to do it.” Though he’d sincerely miss the pictures. He really liked those ones.
He passed around her and motioned for Ally to come. What harm could there be if Ally was inside Tamasy Industries? They could always claim she was there on behalf of her sister. Ally was quiet on the elevator ride. He leaned against the opposite wall, slouched and feeling lower than a beetle before her.
He unlocked everything and led her to his office. She glanced around. “Nice place.”
He shrugged. “It was. I’m not sure what I think of it now.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I can work here anymore. After all this… I don’t know what is going to happen.” He sat down and turned his computer on and waited for it to come alive. When it did, he motioned to Ally. “Here, click away, get rid of whatever you want. Shit, for that matter, copy whatever else you want too.”
He turned and sat on one of the chairs facing his desk as Ally sat in his chair. She started clicking and quickly erased the same pictures that were on his phone. There was nothing different. There was nothing on his social media, which he was sure Ally had already checked on.
“There’s a file here on Cadence.” Shock was thick in her voice. He got up and found a thumb drive. He tossed it to Ally. It landed on her lap.
“And one on Kylie. Go ahead, Ally. Look at them, copy them and then delete them and empty the trash bin. I told you, take whatever you want. None of that stuff is on the company server or backed up to any kind of cloud. The only copies are on my hard drive.”
He sat back down, leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and stared at the floor.
Ally got to work, and then after several minutes she finally asked, her tone quiet, “Why?”
“Why what exactly, Ally? Why did I do this to your sister? Ruin her life? What?”
“Why did you let me in here? Why are you letting us have access?”
“Because I didn’t mean to cover up any crimes. I didn’t mean to cause her harm, or Cadence. I didn’t mean for anything.”
“Then why did you do it? I have to say, you seem strangely affected by it. Like, I kind of believe your remorseful thing you have going on here. That, or you’re the greatest actor of all time. So… why did you do it then?”
“If someone, some stranger, accused Kylie of raping them, would you believe the stranger or Kylie?”
“Kylie, of course. Just like I believe your brother raped her.”
He winced. Hearing it didn’t get easier. “I believed my brother. I thought I was saving my brother from awful, unfair criminal accusations. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Believed?”
He shook his head. “He’s my brother, Ally. I love him. I don’t—I didn’t think of him as some kind of pervert hiding in
bushes at night to jump out and attack college coeds walking around after dark. But he’s the same as that. A predator. A monster. To imagine he drugged Kylie… I can’t think about it, okay? The images hurt so much I can’t breathe. I thought at first they were after Tommy for our money, and drawn to him by his popularity. I thought he wasn’t a rapist. I didn’t know… I still don’t know what to do with it.”
“But why date her?”
“I fell in love with her. I met her and from the start it was like my brother vanished. All the stuff that drew me to her overshadowed why I first found her. It was about us. Getting to know her was only about her. How I felt was about her. Not Tommy or how I came to meet her.”
“How did you reconcile what she accused your brother of? Did you think she was lying? Or did you think your brother was?”
“I thought perhaps she’d gotten drunk and didn’t remember.” He put a hand up. “I know how asinine it sounds, okay? I told myself every lie to try and not find an answer to this. I just wanted to be with her and pretend all that led her to me wasn’t real.”
“But it’s the most real part of it all. How do you do that, Tristan? How do you ignore the part where you choose? How do you avoid choosing who you believe?”
He dropped his head into his hands, shaking it. “I don’t know. I didn’t know. I just didn’t. I kept them separate. I—”
“Pretended she wasn’t raped.”
“I didn’t pretend it,” he finally answered, “I pretended it wasn’t my brother who did it.”
“Who did you think did it then?”
He whipped around. Kylie stood in the doorway. How long? He had no idea. He closed his eyes against the sudden rush of feelings. “I don’t know. I just used to know my little brother… the boy I remember… I don’t know what to do with it.”
“You never asked me. You never sought out my explanation. Why?” Kylie said.
“I’d have to choose you then.”
Her gaze searched over him. “You believe me?”
“Yes,” he finally whispered, bending over as the pain in his gut increased. It was like someone kept hitting him over and over. His brother was a rapist. His brother raped Kylie. The images suddenly started streaming through his brain, an unbroken picture. He gripped his temples as the blinding pain tore through his head.
“Tristan?”
He couldn’t stop the pain so he pressed harder on both sides of his head. His eyes shut. His eyes filled with tears, which he tried to keep inside his eyelids.
“We’re going after Tommy. That’s why we’re here.” Ally’s voice was strong and cold. The opposite of Kylie’s. He was glad she had Ally.
“That’s why I gave you access to what I have. This is everything. If I think if anything else I’ll—”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tommy’s voice came from the hallway, a loud, roaring bellowing scream at Kylie. She flinched and ducked into his office without a second’s pause. Tristan opened his eyes and jumped to his feet. Tommy appeared in the doorway.
Tristan immediately stepped in front of Kylie, who easily seemed to forget he’d lied and tried to use her. She stood behind him. She backed up, her eyes wide as she stared at Tommy. She hit a file cabinet with a dull thud and stopped. Tristan turned and stood in front of her. He leaned in and whispered, “He’ll never hurt you again.” He put his hand out, palm up and flat. She stared down at his hand and then back up into his eyes. Finally, she nodded slowly, and her small, cool hand slipped over his. He closed his fingers, entwining hers in his. He nodded back, mouth pursed.
Then he turned to face his brother; the rapist. His stomach cramped and a surreal feeling enveloped him. How could the rapist, the monster, the bad guy, the criminal… be his little brother?
His heart felt like it had morphed into a chunk of steel. But instead of cold and hardened to deal with all this, he felt like it was so heavy it was going to push him to his knees. He felt inert. Nothing in his life had prepared him for how he was going to face his brother as the person who raped a woman. A woman who stood behind him, legitimately scared of Tommy. Her hand was gripping his with all her might. He squeezed back. She was protected behind his back. He was the physical barrier between his brother and the girl he loved. Here he was protecting her from his own brother. It was a cruel twist of fate that he’d fallen in love with one of his brother’s victims.
Tommy stared at him, then Kylie, and did a quick perusal of Ally. His jaw locked and his eyes narrowed. There was physical disdain and disbelief reflected in his brother’s expression, but it was his gaze that tore into Tristan. His eyes gleamed with hurt, regret, and betrayal. It all shined out of his little brother’s eyes at him.
“You want to tell me what’s going on here, Tristan?” His voice was now low and smooth, almost sickeningly calm and chilling.
“How are you even here?”
“Philipp called dad about you being here with two girls. I decided to come see…”
He felt Kylie’s body tremble at the sound of Tommy’s voice. She pressed into his back then and all his concern shifted from Tommy to her. Kylie won. He realized it in a split second. She won his loyalty. There was no longer a battle raging inside him over who to believe, who to betray. He knew it was the scared, shaking girl behind him who had his loyalty.
“We’re erasing all traces of my association with Kylie so she can seek disciplinary action against you through the school.” Tristan had to pause as the stabbing pain of the reality of the situation seemed to ripple through his nerve endings, taking his breath away. He finally added softly, “For rape.” He held his brother’s gaze across the small office. Twenty years passed between them. Tommy’s eyes widened and he started to slowly shake his head. He kept shaking it.
“You can’t… you can’t actually think I raped her. You know she’s lying. She’s just a slut who wants it from anyone who offers.”
“She isn’t,” Tristan interrupted him, his tone low and loaded with warning. “Tread carefully. You feel the need to defend yourself with me, but don’t disparage her.”
Tommy shook his head. Teeth gritted, he insisted, “I didn’t do anything to her she wasn’t participating in. She just changed her mind about it later. God, you can’t—”
Kylie pressed tighter to Tristan. He felt her tremble.
Tommy started to step forward but Tristan put his arm out. “Stay back.”
Tommy’s mouth dropped open and both his hands fisted at his sides. “You think… you really think I did this? What the fuck are you doing? Protecting her? From me? Like I’m some kind of violent criminal you can’t trust what I’ll do to her? I’m your brother! We are brothers, Tristan, and you’re going to turn your back on me, for… this piece of…”
“I really am going to protect her from you.” He glanced back at her and her worried, confused gaze met and held his. He shrugged just enough to try and convey his sorrow. “Like I should have from the start.”
Silence hung thick and ugly between them. Like black tar had been thrown out to coat the room. “Do you have any idea what this means? What you’re doing?” Tommy’s voice was soft and almost menacing.
“Yeah. The right thing. I’m finally doing the right thing.” Tristan kept his body in front of Kylie’s and felt her lay her hand flat on his back. Her handprint’s warmth seemed to imprint on his skin and he closed his eyes for a prolonged moment. She was speaking to him without words, like she could so easily do. She was supporting him now, in this moment, as she was facing the person who raped her. Yet her never-ending compassion was being directed towards him and not herself. He drew strength from her touch, her ability to still feel anything towards him after what he’d done to her. “Get out of my office, Tommy.”
“Get out…” He started to repeat as his mouth popped open. “You can’t mean you want me to just leave? We should… talk about this or something. Work this out. We can’t just…”
“We can. I don’t know why you turned into this. I won’t procla
im to ever understand, but I will never again condone it. But right now you need to get out of this office. Get away from her, now.” Tristan pointed at the door. “Or I will force you out. I’m bigger than you are still, so don’t make me do it.” Tommy didn’t budge. Tristan sighed and added, his voice heavy with fatigue, “Please, don’t make me, Tommy. Just turn and walk away right now. Please.” He sounded desperate, almost scared, like a small boy begging the school bully not to hit him again, but it was the opposite. Tristan knew he could take his brother and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to hurt Tommy, he just needed Tommy to leave Kylie alone.
Tommy stepped back, still staring in unbridled disbelief at his brother. He took a step, then another and another until, shaking his head, he spun on his heel and was gone. Tristan wilted in relief and sadness as the room stayed completely silent.
He turned finally. His hand was still linked in Kylie’s. Her eyes were huge and hollow. It wasn’t like anyone could leave this confrontation feeling anything but gut-level hurt and aches. He shook his head. Tears gathered in his eyes as he stared into hers. “I’m sorry.”
There was so much more he needed to say. He needed to get on his knees and beg forgiveness and retribution. He needed to tell her how sorry he was for what his brother did to her. He needed to undo his own actions that sought to destroy her. He betrayed her. His family… There was no listing out what his family had done to her. And the only recourse he had were two stupid, insignificant words that were supposed to make up for all this? He knew it didn’t even touch it. It didn’t even reach the level of a start.
She didn’t flinch, she didn’t turn away or start to cry. She stared him in the eye as he kept staring at her, and it felt like an entire conversation of hurt, sadness, pain, betrayal, sorrow, caring, and love passed between them. Ally stood up from his desk. She cleared her throat. “Kylie? Are you okay? I mean, not okay… but… that was awful.”
He dropped his head and Kylie’s hand. Kylie came away from the file cabinet she was hovering against all out of fear of his brother. The magnitude of that fact; his brother was a rapist, would not stick in his head.