by Diana Nixon
“We don’t have a schedule here. Unless you need to train for the night’s show, you can wake up and have breakfast whenever you want. But I would highly recommend you get up before the morning training some of the other girls and I will be attending. That way you can see how it all works around here.”
“Yeah, that would be helpful. Thanks.”
“Good night, Darling. Hope you will meet the prince of your dreams, in your dreams tonight.”
“Um… What?”
“Oh, you haven’t heard about that… They say when you move and during your first night in a new place, you can see your future husband in your dreams.”
“Oh… No, I have never heard that before.”
Kate giggled. “Of course you haven’t. See you tomorrow!”
It’s not like I had never thought about having a husband, kids, and a real family. I had, many times. I was only eighteen; I still had plenty of time to think about what I wanted in my future life. The only problem was every time I imagined myself marrying a man, something clicked inside me, as if there was something telling me to be very careful what I wished for… I had been betrayed once, and it was by my own parents who were never supposed to leave me just like that. Their betrayal left a very big, bleeding scar on my heart. I didn’t want to be left or betrayed, ever again.
But I wished I could see him again. The stranger I met years ago at the train station. The image of him had never left my mind. I’m not sure I remembered him very well, though. Time seems to make our memories vague and hazy. But I knew if I ever saw him again, I would recognize him the second I laid my eyes on him. The memories from the day we met were probably the memories I cherished most of all. They kept me breathing, living, and dreaming. Every time I was in a bad mood, I closed my eyes and imagined my beautiful stranger coming to see me again. I replayed his words in my head, as if they were a prayer I couldn’t fall asleep without. He didn’t say much, but his rich voice made my knees tremble, and the older I got, the faster my heart started beating at the mere thought of him.
I didn’t know anything about the man who seemed to affect me day and night. I didn’t know his name or where he was from. He looked like a rich or at least a very well off man, but in skimming the newspapers I stole from Marlena’s office in hopes of finding any details about my mystery man, I never even saw his name. He was clearly not famous, and the press didn’t follow him, or maybe he simply never let them get close to him or his personal life. Either way, the thought of meeting him again, still made me smile.
If I ever managed to meet him again, I wasn’t really sure what I would tell him, or how I would even introduce myself. Honestly, he probably didn’t even remember stopping to put money into my hat and giving me his gloves that day. Maybe he was already married, with kids… A family to take care of… I never let that thought take control over me. I tried to push it to the deepest depths and never allow it to resurface to the forefront of my mind. But somehow, tonight the only man I had ever wanted to see by my side, was the only thing I couldn’t stop thinking about, and I kept hoping there was no need for my fears.
Maybe it was from where I was now. It reminded of him. He would easily fit in here, sitting on one of the soft velvet couches, with a drink in his hand, watching the girls dancing.
I would dance for him… I would pretend to be just another stranger he was never supposed to recognize. I would give him the best dance, with my best moves, trying to make him remember me, and hope maybe one day, he would come back to watch me dance again.
The sound of metal clinking against the floor brought me back to reality. I opened my eyes and saw my fork lying on the floor. I laughed silently to myself.
You are such an idiot, Louise. How long do you plan on dreaming of a man who doesn’t even remember you? This is not a fairytale, this is real life! But...
It doesn’t hurt to dream, right? So why can’t I keep dreaming, especially if it is the only thing that feels more or less real in my new life? It was still hard to believe my freedom lasted less than a trip from one railway station to another. But the fact remained, which means I had to finish my late supper and get to bed if I still wanted to attend the morning training and make sure local dancing didn’t include undressing or anything indecent. Said the girl who hardly knew what the word ‘decent’ meant… Yeah, it was going to be a very interesting morning.
After hours of nothing but endless tossing and turning, I finally decided it was pointless to fight my curiosity and nervousness, so I got out of bed, took a shower and went to the dining room where according to Kate’s words, I could find my breakfast.
I was the only person in the room. In fact, it felt like the entire club was still asleep. The halls and even Drew’s waiting room were quiet. It was so quiet I could hear the clock ticking on the wall. Chewing a piece of croissant with a strawberry jam, I entered the show room, the very place where the fun took place. As well as in my new boss’s office, there were mirrors everywhere. It made my fear of dancing in public grow by leaps and bounds. I bet if you looked in the mirrors, the amount of people watching you dance would seem endless. I swallowed hard, looking around the room carefully. There were tables and seats, and small private areas with high-back, round couches to hide the people sitting there. It was all made up in shades of red and gold. So predictable.
I smiled at the memory of my first meeting with Kate and Drew. She said he was not the monster I thought he was at first, and the atmosphere of my surroundings only made my smile widen. Drew obviously needed someone to have a few words with him about new designing tendencies. Not that I was an expert myself, but I was sure there were ways so much better than what I could see all around me to decorate the place.
My eyes traveled to the stage, hidden behind the long, dark-red curtains. I took a few steps closer and looked behind them. There was no one on the stage. It was illuminated with a few dozen small lights, making it look surreal, even a little magical. I looked around again, but I was still alone in the room, so I thought no one would mind me trying the stage.
I took off my shoes, and tried to replay one of my favorite songs in my head. It was slow, with just enough high notes to make it easier for me to dance to. I closed my eyes, imagining myself as one of those tiny ballet dancers, flying across the stage. I always like ballet dancing. I was not slim enough to try it myself, but I could always use the ballet elements in my other dances.
I don’t think I had ever gotten so much pleasure from dancing. It was more than just a dream coming true. It felt so good, as if I were free again. Like a bird flying in the sky, with the wind leading her to the only place where she wanted to be now… One more move, and one more turn, one more step closer to the life I always wanted to live…
“Since when have maids been allowed to dance here?”
My heart dropped to my feet. Slowly, I turned to the sound of an angry female voice and froze, meeting about a dozen pairs of eyes staring at me.
“Do you have a hearing problem or something?” The owner of the angry voice said again.
“I…”
“Time to shake your butts, ladies!” Kate entered the room, holding a small record player in her hands. She looked like she didn’t notice me. She put the player on one of the tables and turned to the girls, saying, “Last night was a total screwup. And by screwup I mean that none of you had listened to what I had been trying to tell you the night before. Do you really think Drew will keep paying you for falling in the middle of the show and turning his cabaret into a circus? Or do you think he will keep paying you for losing a part of your costume that was supposed to be perfect?”
The blonde that was shouting at me just a few moments ago, was now all shy and almost crying. “I’m so sorry Kate, it was not my fault! Jimmy didn’t have time to fix my dress after it got torn last week, and I didn’t have a choice but to fix it myself.”
“Next time make sure your dress stays on you. Otherwise, I will have to report you to Drew for breaking the rules. And we a
ll know how much he hates it when one of us breaks his rules. Lucky you, he didn’t see last night’s show.”
“Okay, I understand. It will never happen again. I swear,” the girl said. From what I could see and hear, she was not even close to being sorry for what happened last night. As if confirming my suspicions, she turned away from Kate, and rolled her eyes, whispering, “What a bitch.”
“Now, Taira, what the hell was the end of your dance supposed to mean? I told you making that last turn was a bad idea, but you didn’t listen to me! And now what? Should I just forget about your little misstep that looked more than just ridiculous? A few visitors laughed at you. Do you really think this is what they come here for? To watch a classic Burlesque show? We are not running a comedy house!”
“No, of course not. But Kate, I was sure I would do it right.”
“Next time, don’t think, just listen to what I tell you to do. Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Why don’t we start the training then?”
Only now did Kate look at me, and she even smiled after what felt like forever of standing there and listening to her incisive comments. I didn’t even want to imagine her shouting at me like that. I wondered if I would ever be able to comply with her demands.
“Forget it, Doll. It’s just a part of the working process. Why don’t you take one of the seats over there and watch us for a while? Then, I want you to follow me to one of the dressing rooms to try a few costumes. We need to make sure our designers know your size and what looks best on you. The costumes you already have in your wardrobe might not be all good for your frame. But let’s leave this question for later. It’s time to dance!” She clapped her hands and all the girls gathered on the stage. They all had sticks in their hands, as well as high black hats on their heads.
I had never tried myself in cabaret dancing. I didn’t know if there were any rules that should be followed, but according to what I could see, the only rule here was to follow Kate’s orders. She was a great dancer, her every move was carefully thought-out; no wrong or unnecessary steps, it was all done as if she had planned it and then checked it both backwards and forwards.
Regardless how little I knew about whatever the girls were doing now, I could see a few of them were really good at their jobs, while others, including the young lady that I was damn sure would become my number one enemy – the blonde, obviously needed additional dance classes.
“So, what do you think?” Kate asked about an hour later. She came over to me and took a bottle of water that had been sitting on my table.
“It was… Good,” I said, not quite sure what exactly she wanted to hear from me.
“Good? Which means you think it sucked.”
“I didn’t say that. I mean… The idea of the dance was great. It’s just that…”
“What?”
I hesitated. Did I have the right to be so honest with her?
“Come on, Louise! There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. The freedom of speech, unlike many other privileges of living in the United States, hasn’t been called off in this unholy place you call home now. So tell me what you really think about the dance?”
I smiled. “Well, I just wanted to say some of the dancers do their job better than the others.”
She nodded, taking a sip of water. “Damn true. The one that you see over there, Moly, she’s one of the best. Natasha is a newbie, so don’t judge her, there are still many things she needs to learn to do properly. Jo has always been one of my best dancers, until one day she had an accident, she injured her legs pretty badly. No one expected her dance again, but she’s a very tough and determined girl; she has proven it many times. Laura, the blonde, she’s a real bitch. So try to stay away from her, as much as possible, except for the nights you need to share a few dances with her. She’s a good dancer, not brilliant, but good. And she seems to think sleeping with Drew makes her special. Too bad she doesn’t know sleeping with the jerk doesn’t give you any special privileges, at all.”
“And you seem to be well aware of that.”
Kate smirked. “You’d better not go there. We don’t mix our personal and work lives here. As for the rest of the team, you will meet them later. We have trainings every day, but girls have days off and rarely gather all together. Only when there are special guests that want to see the whole show.”
“What about your ‘favorite child’? Do you have one?”
“Oh, yes. I do. Her name is Valery, Val, as we all call her. She’s not here now, but you will see her dance tonight. Come to the show, it will be your first truly great lesson.”
“I sure will.”
Someone spoke over the intercom system, “Kate and the new one, my office, now!”
She and I shared a glance. “What did you do and piss off Drew?” She asked, looking at her watch. “He should be on his morning run now.”
“I didn’t do anything. I only had breakfast and came here.”
And took the stage without anyone’s permission… Oh, shit!
“It doesn’t matter anymore. If he wants to see us, we’d better hurry up. He hates waiting.”
“Looks like he hates everything and everyone. What does he like?”
“I told you, he likes money. Everything else is just a way to get it, or a way to spend it.”
“Was your history with Drew the reason you stayed here?” I didn’t think before asking that question, but I definitely should have thought twice.
Kate stopped, putting her hands on her hips. “I don’t usually repeat myself, but since it’s your first day here, I will say it again, personal life stays personal. Period.”
“Okay.” I looked apologetically at her, but she no longer listened. She turned on her heel and walked hurriedly to Drew’s office.
He was waiting for us, staring at one of the screens on the wall behind his desk. They appeared to show every room in the club, and they also showed the parking lot out front and the alley behind the club.
“You wanted to see us?” Kate asked, taking a seat in one of his chairs. I didn’t dare to do the same, I just continued to stand. I felt like a little girl again, waiting for my punishment.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you are so darn good at dancing?”
I didn’t immediately realize Drew was talking to me.
“Excuse me?”
“I saw you dance today,” he said, taking a seat in his own chair and lighting a cigar. I could smell the sickly sweet smell of the cigar as the smoke filled the room; I continued to stand dumbfounded at his words.
Kate frowned, turning to me. “Did you dance today?”
“She did,” Drew answered for me, while turning on a video from his constant security feed on one of the screens.
I felt like I was about to be fried alive. My cheeks were burning; no, actually my whole body was boiling with humiliation. I didn’t even want to watch the video. I was sure it was awful.
“No freaking way… Who taught you to move like that?”
I looked at Kate, trying to figure out whether her words were meant to be a compliment or a scolding.
“No one did. I have been teaching myself since I was about ten years old,” I said, switching my attention between her and Drew.
“She needs a solo,” he said after a short pause.
“A what?” I asked, terrified.
“A solo dance. You know when the dancer is alone on the stage.”
“I know what it means. I just don’t understand why you would want me to do it.”
“Because I’ve never seen a more talented newb,” Drew said. His eyes stayed locked with Kate’s for a while, but I didn’t have time to think about their silent exchange of messages.
“The dance should be ready by Saturday night,” he said decisively.
“But that’s only two days from now!” There was no way in hell I would be able to make that happen.
“You can do this,” Kate said, rising to her feet. “Come, we need to find the perfect music an
d costume for you.”
“Wait! Sir, I mean Drew, I can’t do this. I’ve never danced in front of so many people. I have no idea how to do a solo dance. I am not used to dancing for anyone other than myself and maybe a few others, but definitely not as many people as there will be here!”
“I wouldn’t say that. Kate and I both saw your dance. It was almost perfect, unique and very beautiful. The only thing you will need to add is a few cabaret moves. I’m sure the clients will love it.”
Oh, my God… This is not happening, this is NOT happening!
“Let’s go out for a while before you have a heart attack.” Kate and Drew both laughed at her joke and my anxiety. She took me by the elbow and walked me out of the office, I seemed to be totally unable to leave on my own.
“Kate, please, don’t make me do this… I can’t do this.” I would even fall down to my knees and start begging her. I just didn’t realize at the time it was all for naught. Kate’s determination was like a stone. No one and nothing could break it.
“Don’t be silly, Louise! You are a great dancer, I’m sure it will be an outstanding show!”
Oh, no… I’m so dead… God help me…
Chapter 3
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Kate… I can’t dance wearing these shoes! I mean, no one can dance wearing heels higher than the Eiffel Tower itself!”
“You’ll only be wearing them for about ten seconds anyway. You just need them for the beginning of the dance.”
“You know they remind me of something… Or rather they remind me of the only kind of dance I absolutely refuse to do, for anyone.” But it looked like Kate wasn’t even listening to me.
It was the first time I had ever wished I had been able to remember the proverb about making God laugh before I decided to tell him my plans, I probably shouldn’t have told him about them. Because at that very moment, I was certain he was laughing at me over them.