“But he is for you?”
“It appears not. You were right as well. He has a dark side. Now I’ve felt it too.”
Linton spent the rest of Sunday in Greenwich Park. He’d have preferred to lie in bed and pull the covers over his head, but Amadeo was in, and Linton didn’t want to give him any reason to feel he was a nuisance. He found a quiet spot on the grassy hill below the observatory, and lay in the sunshine trying to stop thinking of good things about Thorne and instead remember how Thorne had hurt him. Not just with his words but with his actions. Those stones were supposed to be a sign of affection. The nearest Linton had ever got to showing… Thorne had even ripped up the plans Linton had worked on for hours.
What did you expect, dickhead? That he’d say thanks for the drawings. We’re fine again now? But every negative thought seemed to slide into a positive one. Linton could almost feel Thorne stroking his palm with his thumb, practically see that enticing smile that could so easily light up a room. Linton missed him. He suspected he was going to miss him for quite some time.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Thorne jerked out of sleep with a start, his head throbbing with pain, his mouth so dry he had trouble swallowing. He rolled out of bed, staggered to the bathroom and stuck his face under the cold tap to bring himself back to life. Well, as close as he was likely to get for a while.
A shower and cleaning his teeth went part way to reviving him but getting dressed was a step too far. He pulled on his shorts and padded downstairs to a pristine house that showed no trace of a party ever having happened. No sign of the devastation Thorne had personally wrought on someone he’d thought he might be… He shoved the thought away. He hadn’t heard the cleaners doing their thing. The large amount of alcohol he’d drunk had rendered him oblivious. But now reality was back whether he liked it or not.
River sat at the kitchen table working on his laptop. Josh sat opposite cradling his tea and reading the paper.
“Morning.” Thorne poured himself a coffee from the machine and topped up River’s mug. There was another mug next to it, half full.
“Morning,” came Josh’s curt reply.
“Hi.” The girl from the café, Marta, walked into the kitchen in a man’s shirt, River’s shirt, picked up the half-full mug of coffee, and sat next to his brother. River gave her a shy smile.
“Hi,” Thorne responded. What the hell? His brother had never had anyone stay the night. And he’d got lucky?
“Thanks for getting the house put back together,” Thorne said to Josh.
Josh grunted.
River reached under the newspaper lying next to his laptop and handed Thorne the drawings he’d ripped up last night. They’d been carefully taped back together. Thorne dropped them as if they’d burned his fingers and they spread out on the table. He told himself not to look but he did. Linton had worked on the house that looked like a bird with open wings. There were location drawings, floor plans and sketches from different angles.
“What did Linton do to upset you?” River asked.
“Pretended to be something he wasn’t.”
Josh’s head shot up. “Did you ask him why?”
“I didn’t need to. He did it for money.”
“Like you,” Josh muttered.
Thorne frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You’re paid to pretend to be someone you’re not.”
“There’s a difference. I do it to entertain, not hurt.”
“You hurt Linton last night.” River stared at him. “You said unkind things and you threw stones at him. That was wrong.”
Not just that. I almost… Thorne squirmed under River’s intense gaze. He very rarely stared anyone in the face for this length of time. It threw Thorne right back to the previous night and how River had looked at him then. As though Thorne ought to be the one who was ashamed.
“How much money was he paid?” Josh asked.
“Why did he need it?” Marta added.
“How the f… How would I know?” Thorne grabbed his coffee and went back up to his room before the Spanish Inquisition really got going and he slid back into his red rage.
But ten minutes later, he suspected he had his answer to a question he should have asked. Dirk’s rehab facility was one of the most expensive in the UK. That still didn’t make what Linton had done right. But Thorne thought of River and how far he’d go to help him, and he began to understand. He should have given Linton the chance to explain. Christ, the guy had been saying for days he needed to tell him something and Thorne hadn’t wanted to hear it.
What have I done?
As fast as he’d been to condemn Linton without a trial, now he was desperate to put things right. He grabbed his phone, started to call him, then changed his mind and summoned his driver instead. He needed to do this face to face. Thorne dressed and went to wait outside. The breath caught in his throat at the sight of the white stones lying all over the path. There were more in the street and when he bent to pick one up, he saw a fleck of blood on it. Fuck. As if what he’d done in the bedroom wasn’t bad enough. Thorne wrapped it tight in his grasp, then put it in his pocket. I am such a shit. I made him cry. He wasn’t sure this could be mended and that scared him.
By the time he reached Wapping, he was the most anxious he’d ever been in his life. Worse than when he’d auditioned for a role in a film he knew could give him the break he’d been waiting for. He had to at least hear Linton’s side of this, even if there was no way forward, and he needed to apologise for throwing the stones. Apologise for other stuff too. Oh fuck. He chewed his lip when he thought of what he’d done, how far he’d gone. I don’t deserve to be forgiven.
Thorne was shocked rigid when he discovered Linton had moved out of his flat a few days ago. The new occupant had no idea where he was. Why the hell had he moved? Why hadn’t he told him he was moving? Thorne dismissed his driver and went down to the river. He leaned against the wall looking out over the water, took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves and called Linton. It went straight to voicemail after one ring. He tried again and the same thing happened. He didn’t know whether that was because Linton had set his phone to do not disturb or because he’d blocked him. If Thorne left a message, he was pretty sure Linton could access it even if Thorne’s calls were blocked, but he didn’t know what to say.
While he was dithering, Orlando called.
“Hi.” Thorne braced himself for bad news. Someone at the party had taken pictures? Gone to the press? Linton had reported him to the police for assault? If there were photos of the stone throwing, he’d look like a bad-tempered thug, not a guy with a broken heart. Shit, Linton must hate me.
“How would you like to be a guest on Underneath?”
“I—” Thorne was so relieved Orlando wasn’t yelling at him, it was a moment before he took in what he’d said.
“You know what that is, right?” Orlando asked.
“Yeah, the—”
“Cult American TV show about a world where paranormal is the norm and humans the outsiders. Hugely popular. They want you as a human.” Orlando laughed. “I thought you’d be better as a paranormal but there you go. Five episodes. Big money. You can fit it in before filming starts on Dirty Angel.”
“Sounds great.”
“You don’t sound as if you think it sounds great.”
Thorne made himself smile in the hope that would come over in his voice. “It’s exciting. Wow. Christian Mears is the lead in that, isn’t he? He’s good.”
“You need to work on your sincerity.”
“I’d love to do it.” I’ve just got my mind on more important stuff.
“Good because I’ve already said yes. I’m couriering over the scripts. Don’t forget you have a Christmas advert to do for that homeless charity next week.”
Orlando ended the call. Thorne flipped the phone in his hand trying to think what to say to Linton, but he really wanted to see him. He looked up the number of The Moors and asked to talk to Dirk, but they r
efused because he wasn’t family. Thorne pleaded, promised and almost resorted to threats, but got nowhere.
On Monday, he could go to where Linton worked and speak to him. He didn’t particularly want to see Max but maybe that was something he needed to do because the guy was unhinged. He was staggered Max and Owen had done this. Especially Owen. It seemed totally unlike him. To pay a guy to sleep with him, then publicly dump him? There was something he was missing. Thorne knew he’d been harsh when he broke up with Owen, but to go to this amount of effort was beyond extreme. Had Max and Owen been behind the incident at the hotel after the film premiere? And the Reknaw watch?
Maybe the way to sort everything out was to find out what lay at the root of it all. He had to start with Owen.
Thorne called his driver to take him to the hospital.
He dropped in at the gift shop on the ground floor and ended up having his photo taken three times before he could escape.
God, is there nowhere people won’t pester me?
He handed Owen the box of Maltesers. “Bet they don’t last you the day.”
Owen gave a shaky laugh. “When did they ever?”
Thorne settled on the chair next to the bed. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.”
“I don’t know why the fuck everyone always say that when they’re asked. You’re lying there with broken bones and tubes coming out of you. You’re not okay.”
“I’m getting better.”
“Good.” But Thorne still saw a vulnerable, damaged guy and hesitated to push him. “We have stuff to sort out, don’t we?” he finally said.
Owen sucked in his cheeks. “I heard about what happened last night.”
Thorne’s heart gave a heavy thump. “Who from?”
“Linton came to see me this morning. He was upset.”
Shit.
“Who told you what we’d paid him to do?” Owen asked. “It wasn’t me or Max.”
Thorne didn’t want to tell him. “Why did you ask Linton to do it?”
Owen clenched his fist around the bedcover. “I’m not trying to wriggle out of it but it was Max’s idea. He was livid when you dumped me. And sacked him as your architect.”
“He does know why I finished with you?”
Owen shook his head. “I didn’t tell him. I couldn’t let him be me mad with me. Not him as well.”
Thorne gaped at him in disbelief.
“He was as excited about the wedding as I was,” Owen whispered. “He saw doors opening for his business if he designed your house, but it wasn’t just that. I loved you and he wanted me to be happy. All my life, he’s been desperate for me to be happy.”
“I said some insulting things about his architectural skills. I suppose that didn’t go down well.”
“Worse than that. Your comments made it into a big industry magazine. Max went apeshit crazy. There was some competition in Berlin he wanted to enter, you know he’s thinking of opening an office there, and when he lost your house, he lost that opportunity too.”
Crap. “So why Linton? Why drag him into it? Though it seems you didn’t have to drag hard. How much did you pay him?” He knew but he was interested to see what Owen said.
“Linton said no, kept saying no until Max offered him fifty thousand. We didn’t know at the time but Linton needed it to pay for his brother’s rehab.”
So Thorne had guessed right.
“Don’t be mad with Linton. We pushed him into it. There’s a lot you don’t know.”
“Then tell me.”
Thorne listened in rapt silence as Owen talked about how Linton had been more or less blackmailed into the scheme, how he’d told Owen he never intended to go through with it and that Owen believed him.
“We played on Linton’s conscience about something that happened to us when we were fifteen.” Owen chewed his lip before he spoke. “Linton and I were…abducted.”
Thorne sucked in a breath. What the fuck?
“We managed to get away. Linton promised he’d stay with me but I fell and he kept running.” Owen clenched his fingers around the bedcover. “They caught me.”
“And Linton?”
“I’ve always been so angry with him. Every time I looked at him made me remember. I’ve always thought he got away but not long ago I found out he didn’t. They caught him too.”
Oh God, Linton. “Why didn’t you tell me before now?” Thorne took hold of Owen’s fidgeting fingers and held them tight. Christ, how much more can I hate myself?
“I…felt…dirty. You loved me so much and being with you, it was as if I’d been reborn, given another chance at a different life. You were the one who’d finally…pressed my reset button. I was so happy and I wanted to be everything you needed so you were as happy as me. I never wanted to upset you. I made sure we never argued. We got on well, didn’t we? I did everything I could to make sure we were perfect together. I didn’t want you to ever look at me and feel disgusted.” Owen took a shuddering breath.
“I would never have thought that.”
“But you’d have known. I didn’t want you to know. I wanted life to be fun. I wanted to be free of the past. I wanted to be yours.”
“You let me get away with too much.” Unlike Linton who’d never let him get away with being a prick. Not until… Linton hadn’t fawned over him, or dropped everything in order to do what Thorne wanted. When he’d disagreed with Thorne, he’d said so. I hurt him.
“Did you love me?” Owen whispered.
Thorne nodded because it had been a sort of love and he saw no point in being cruel. He’d already done enough damage to last him a lifetime. Though looking back, he wasn’t sure he’d loved Owen in the truly, madly, deeply way he’d always imagined being in love would be like. Not the way he’d felt— Shit.
“I loved you so much.” Tears rolled down Owen’s face.
“And yet you still slept with Nate?”
Owen flinched. “I don’t know why. Except that day he was upset because he’d just covered a story about two kids being killed by their father, and he seemed real and you weren’t. He needed me and I’m not sure you ever did. But I hurt you and I’m sorrier than you can ever know. And now I’ve hurt you again because I’ve probably wrecked things for you with Linton.”
“I know you’re sorry.” Please don’t be right about Linton.
“Even after you’d torn me apart, I still wanted you.”
Was that a hint about Linton? “And now?”
“I’ve seen sense. I’ve had help in seeing sense. I think messing Linton up made me see how crazy I was acting. I’m not sure I was ever myself with you. I was always trying so hard to make you happy, to be someone you’d want to keep forever.”
“You pretended to be happy?”
Owen bit his lip. “Yeah, sometimes I did. Not sometimes. A lot. I’m scared of not being happy. I know that has to do with what happened when I was a teenager.”
“I didn’t know you were unhappy. You never complained about anything.”
“I didn’t want you to be mad with me.”
“Can you tell me now what didn’t you like about me?”
Owen took a deep breath. “You were a horrible slob in the bathroom. I was always treading on your nail clippings.”
Thorne winced.
“You didn’t always listen when I talked to you. You sulk when you don’t get your own way. When you’re pissed off, you hide the way you feel behind a mask and you were pissed off a lot. Not with me but… You sometimes said really cruel things. You never hang your clothes up and you stick your hand down your pants when you watch TV. When you were angry, you frightened me. I did everything I could not to let you be angry. You never emptied the dishwasher. You never filled it. I could go on.”
Thorne laughed. “Don’t.” He squeezed Owen’s fingers before he let go of his hand. “You’ll be okay. I think we rushed into the marriage thing. Maybe I was trying too hard to please you too. I knew you were sensitive and I didn’t want to hurt you. Yo
u were fun to be with, Owen, but I don’t think you saw the real me just as I didn’t see the real you.”
“Linton said that.”
“Did he?”
“He said I’d fallen for Thorne the film star and not the real Thorne.”
Thorne wasn’t sure who that was anymore. He didn’t want to be the guy who humiliated others, who threw stones, who’d almost forced—Oh fuck.
“I’m sorry,” Thorne said. “I’m sorry for what I said in front of your family. I was upset, but that wasn’t the way I should have handled things. I wanted to hurt you and I didn’t want you to know I’d seen you in bed with Nate. I wanted you to be confused and embarrassed.”
“I deserved it. I’d done something unforgivable. Linton hasn’t. I can’t believe I’m lying here trying to tell you to give him a chance but I think you should. We weren’t right together. I sort of see that now. My doctor said to me that the way to succeed at life isn’t by trying to be exactly what someone else wants, but by being yourself with all of your flaws. If someone doesn’t want all of you, including your insecurity and vulnerability, then they don’t deserve any of you. I never gave you the chance to see the real me and neither did you.”
“How did you get to be so wise?”
“By being stupid first,” Owen said. “Linton was upset you didn’t know all the facts.”
“And now I do.” Most of them. “Do you know where he’s moved to?”
“I didn’t know he’d moved.”
Damn.
By the time Linton woke on Monday morning, he’d had a rethink about his decision not to work another day for Max. He needed to at least continue until he’d been paid for the month. He was fairly certain Max would tell him where to get off if he asked for his salary up to today. Even though Max would be in the wrong, he’d find a way to be in the right.
Dirty Games Page 30