by Angela Ahn
The makeup lady asked me if I wanted to try it. Well, it was more like, she held up a sheet of eye tape, pointed to it, and then pointed to my eyes. I looked over at Grandma and Tori, and they both nodded their heads. It was for this party, so I agreed, very reluctantly. I closed my eyes, felt her touch my eyelids and when I opened up my eyes, the salon ladies gathered around me and started muttering stuff in Korean I didn’t understand. But they were all smiling and nodding at me.
“They do nice job, right Krista? Your sister, so beautiful! In few years, I take you and Tori to Korea. You have ssangapul surgery. Big eyes. Even more pretty!” Tori beamed and Grandma patted her on the arm affectionately. She even squeezed my shoulder. It was the first time my grandmother had ever liked the way I looked. Of course, it was also the first time I didn’t actually look like myself.
The ladies gave me and Tori some extra tape on our way out. We all bowed excessively as we left the salon and said our good-byes and thank-yous.
When we got home, my mom stared at me until I started to feel uncomfortable. “What? Why are staring at me?” I asked.
“Just wondering about all the makeup,” she said and gestured to my eyes. “Do you like it?”
“Well,” I started, “it’s okay, I guess.”
“Is that tape?” She peered at my eyes.
“Well, it’s not regular tape, it’s the special eye tape,” I answered.
“Does it feel weird?” she asked.
I shrugged. Then I noticed something for the first time. My mom had double-eyelids.
“Do you wear the tape?” I asked her.
“No.” She looked at me, confused. “Krista, I hardly ever wear makeup and I certainly don’t bother with tape on my eyes.”
“But you have the double-eyelids,” I said.
“Well, I was just born with them,” she said. “Honestly, honey, I’ve never really thought a lot about it.”
Huh, easy for her to say. Her eyes were really big, why did I have such small eyes? Why had I never noticed before?
“Ready to go soon?” she asked.
“I just need to get the dress on. Give me two more minutes.” I ran upstairs.
“Be careful of hair and makeup!” Grandma shouted at me as I ran up the stairs.
After dressing, I looked at myself in a full-length mirror. Who was I? It didn’t look like me. I really couldn’t tell if I loved it or if I hated it. I went downstairs as quickly as I could and said to my mom, “Come on, let’s go. I think the party has started already.” I ignored my sister and grandmother and went outside and waited by the car.
My mom came out and I could see Tori and
Grandma standing by the window watching us.
My mom was quiet while we were driving and luckily Madison’s house wasn’t very far. She had a small smirk on her face the entire time. She parked the car, but I didn’t move. “Get in there already.” She practically shoved me out of the car. “You look nice, Krista. But I want you to remember that this is still just a party. It’s fun and make believe. Don’t take it too seriously.”
I wasn’t really sure what she meant, but nodded anyway.
Walking up to Madison’s house, I felt very self-conscious. I kept pulling at my dress, fidgeting with the fabric, reminding myself to breathe.
I rang the doorbell, and I could already hear voices inside the house.
Madison opened the door. She was wearing a long pink ball gown, and on her head was a very large tiara.
She paused to stare at me for a second before she shrieked, “Krista! Oh my gosh you look sooooooo cool!” She turned around and continued to shriek, “Everybody come look at Krista! She looks awesome!”
I was suddenly surrounded by all these girls from my class, but it didn’t feel real because there was so much taffeta and puffiness.
Can you say awkward? All the girls were staring at me, asking me questions and touching my dress. I heard a lot of “Oh wow!” and “Oh my God!” around me. It felt like a hundred pairs of eyes were on me. They were asking me five thousand questions all at once. But the general feeling of approval in the room meant that they liked my dress. I finally relaxed and went into the house, ready to enjoy myself.
Madison had invited almost all the girls in our class, and everybody came as dressed up as they possibly could manage. Most looked like they had raided their mom’s closets, and my dress sure looked the most unique. In addition to being a “Red Carpet” party, it was also a spa party. We were all getting our nails done. I had already had my hair and makeup done before the party, thanks to Grandma.
I had been so worried about the party and the dress that Tori had designed, but it was okay after all. Maybe even better than okay.
I watched as some of the girls got their nails done before me. It was a nice little setup. Three ladies had on these short white jackets. It reminded me of my dad’s lab coat for work, but more stylish. They had little tables with a bright light and a display of nail polishes and we could all pick a color. There were clean white towels stacked neatly on their tables next to some supplies like scissors and files. All the girls were giddy—there was a lot of nervous and excited laughter in the air.
Madison went first of course, since it was her party. She picked a soft pink color to match her soft pink dress. I was happy to wait to see what the other girls were picking. When it wasn’t your turn for nail polish, Madison’s mom had set up a dancing video game for us to play, but I was not about to get any hotter, so I just stood around watching girls get their nails done.
When it was my turn for my nail polish, I picked a nice bright red and I think I even almost smiled. Madison sat down on a stool next to me. “I’m so glad you came to my party Krista! You look really cool!”
“Thanks,” I replied shyly. She got up to go talk to other people.
Emma walked by and whispered, “Krista, you have the coolest dress here. So amazing. Your dress is even better than Madison’s! Don’t tell her I said that!”
I smiled. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”
“That’s a good color choice,” Emma continued as she pointed down to my nails. “It goes really well with your dress.”
Even though I was used to hanging out with boys, well, actually just one boy, it was surprisingly fun to spend some time with Madison and all the other girls. I had spent years going to school with them, but honestly, couldn’t really say that I knew them very well. I can’t say I was totally involved in a lot of the conversation or dancing, I mostly just watched and listened, but it was a better time than I had thought it was going to be. I was disappointed when it was time to go home.
CHAPTER 9
The next day at school Jason asked me, “So, how was it?”
“How was what?” I said.
“The party.” He slapped my arm. “Stop pretending you don’t know what I’m talking about! That’s all I can hear the girls talking about. Everybody’s dresses. Especially yours. I heard from Emma that it was a real hit.”
I shrugged. “I guess it was okay.”
“I thought it looked nice.”
I stopped cold. “How do you know?”
“Emma showed me a picture.” He flashed his phone at me, and there I was looking at myself.
Marcus, who in addition to being the worst yoga student in our class was also the most obnoxious boy in our class, happened to be looking over our shoulders and said, “Whoa Krista, you wore a dress?! You look kind of nice! I am totally shocked!”
“Get lost, Marcus!” I shouted at him and chased him away.
It was so weird. One party and one dress, and suddenly I felt like people had noticed me for the first time in years.
Madison interrupted us as I was getting rid of Marcus. “Krista, you want to come hang out by the tree with us at lunch?”
The tree. It was a big old cherry tree with a big crack in the
trunk. It was far off in the corner of the grassy area near the school. Those girls, Madison and her best friends, protected that tree like it dropped golden apples. The entire school knew that it was their tree and they would force you away from it. Nobody else could even come near it. It had been like that for as long as we could remember. Jason and I always joked that they performed voodoo under that tree.
“Uh, I don’t know Madison. Jason and I usually hang out near the field,” I said.
“It’s okay, Krista. I can go watch the basketball game at lunch,” Jason said. I looked at him to figure out if he was for real. He hated basketball.
“Great,” Madison said. “See you there. Don’t bring anybody else. It’s by invitation only.” She turned around on her shiny ballet flats and walked away.
“Oooohhh!” Jason said. “You’ve been invited to the tree. They must have really liked your dress this weekend.”
I stared down at my beat up running shoes and wondered why. My red nail polish from this weekend had already chipped away. I certainly didn’t look like I fit in with those girls today. I was dressed like my normal self.
The rest of the morning I couldn’t concentrate because I knew lunchtime was coming soon. I tried very hard to pay attention in math, but I wasn’t doing a good job of it. When lunch finally did come, my tuna wrap was tasteless and my tortilla was kind of wet and gooey. Not my mother’s best lunch effort.
We packed up our lunch kits after we heard the bell that Jason and I referred to as the get-the-heck-out-of-here bell. That meant it was time to head outside for the rest of the lunch hour. Madison stopped near me in the cloakroom and said, “Coming?”
“Uh, sure,” I said as I put on my jacket.
I looked at Jason and he said, “I’ll see you later.” He smiled awkwardly as he put his hand on my shoulder. I watched him walk away and I didn’t feel good.
I was feeling totally nervous. I tried to tell myself I was being silly, but as I walked next to Madison, she was soon surrounded by her usual group of friends: Emma, Cassie, and Arden. Halfway down the hall, Emma noticed that I seemed to be tagging along behind them. She stopped talking and stared at me before Madison noticed and said, “Oh it’s okay. I invited her.” Emma shrugged and continued talking as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
I took a deep breath and followed the girls to the tree.
CHAPTER 10
After lunch our class headed to the library to continue working on our Heritage Month projects. I didn’t have too much research to do, but I decided it would be a good idea if I pretended to be busy. Some people headed to desks, but most went to a computer.
Once we were settled at our table, Jason leaned over and whispered, “So what really goes on at that tree?” We hadn’t had a chance to talk since lunch ended, and I was so thankful he came over to talk to me.
I smiled and whispered back, “I’ll never tell.”
“Oh come on!” he said.
“Okay, okay, I’ll give you a hint.” I looked around to make sure nobody was listening. “It’s actually pretty boring. They talk about their favorite singers and who’s cute and who’s not.”
He stared at me in disbelief. “That’s it?” He sounded disappointed.
“For real, that’s it.”
“I’m underwhelmed,” he said. “I thought for sure they hid voodoo dolls under their jackets and cursed people they didn’t like.”
I smiled. “I wish I had a better story for you. They are actually okay. I didn’t know some of the singers or actors they were talking about, and they found it hard to believe that I didn’t have my own phone, but it wasn’t terrible.”
I looked around before I continued. “But, I will let you in on one very interesting fact.”
He leaned in. “Tell me!”
“Arden has a huge crush on Marcus,” I said with eyes wide open.
“Ew,” Jason replied, looking repulsed.
“I know!” I said. It felt good to talk to him this way again. Just one lunch break away from him had felt weird, especially because I knew he was there at school, not home sick, but we both seemed fine. Turns out we didn’t have to spend every minute at school together.
The next couple of days at school were pretty normal. Madison and her friends were talking to me more, and trying to include me in things. They asked me to come hang out with them again at lunch on Tuesday, but I had a good excuse this time, because Jason and I were office monitors and I couldn’t join them. It felt nice to be included. I hadn’t ever really noticed that I wasn’t included before. I mean I wasn’t a social outcast, people were never mean to me, but I just wasn’t ever considered.
The next time we were in the library, I ended up next to Emma on a computer and she started to talk to me about very random things. She told me about her older sister, who apparently knew Tori. I was just listening to her talk, when Mrs. June walked by so Emma stopped. That was okay because I had to really think about how to make my presentation work. I needed to stop gossiping and start working. How did these girls get anything done? They talked endlessly!
I stared out the window for a while wondering how I could make my random ideas for my project come together. Grandma had already taught me how to make kimbap, but how was I going to hand that in? I was staring at a blank sheet of paper next to my computer screen when Madison walked by and passed me a note. I opened it very slowly. It said, “Can you come to my house after school Wednesday?”
Actually I could, kind of, but it was a Wednesday and usually Jason and I hung out at my house on Wednesdays. It had been like that for years. It was just understood. I closed the paper and put it in the back pocket of my jeans.
I looked at the table behind me. Jason had seen everything. He looked at me and made a what-was-that? gesture, but I just shook my head and pretended to be busy.
It was kind of weird. I didn’t feel that Madison and I had hit it off under the tree, but maybe I just didn’t know how to read other people very well. I did mostly just hang out with Jason all the time, and he wasn’t anything like them, so I didn’t really have a good reference point.
I got up to go to the washroom and Madison followed me. “So can you?” she asked as we walked down the hallway.
“Uh, Jason usually comes over on Wednesdays,” I said.
“So? Ditch him. He won’t care, he’s just a boy,” Madison said. “Why do you two spend so much time together anyway?”
“He’s been my best friend since preschool,” I said quietly.
“Well, things change and people grow up,” she said matter of factly. “Just come at 3:30, okay? You remember where I live, right?”
“Okay,” I said, walking into a stall. As I locked the door, I wondered how Jason would take it.
After school, he waited outside the classroom door for me, as he normally does, and I nervously asked him if it would be okay if I went to Madison’s house. He looked a little surprised, but then said, “Sure, Krista. It’s okay if we miss one Wednesday, right? I’ll see you later.”
Then he turned and left quickly. I was taken aback at how quickly he left. We usually walked home together, at least as far as we could before he headed off toward his house. Was he mad? I couldn’t tell. He said it was fine, so I guess he was okay with it.
When I got home, my mom was not so understanding.
“Where’s Jason?” she asked.
“Um, he’s not coming today because Madison invited me to her house after school,” I said. “I talked to him about it at school and he said it was no problem.”
“Red Carpet Party Madison?” she asked.
“Yes, her.”
“So why couldn’t you go a different day? Wednesday is when Jason comes over. It’s been like that for years, right?” she said.
“Mom,” I said, irritated. “Jason doesn’t have to come over every Wednesday you know.”
She paused. “I know, you’re right, he doesn’t have to, but he just does. Plus, I made muffins for him, I mean for both of you.” She pointed to a platter on the counter with freshly made lemon and blueberry muffins.
Jason did like my mom’s muffins. My heart sank a little bit at the thought of him missing out on them. But it was only one Wednesday. My mom was making such a big deal out of it.
“Well, you can pack some in my lunch tomorrow and I’ll give them to him, okay?”
Tori came in with her headphones on and said loudly, “Where’s your boyfriend?”
I had had enough. Jason said it was fine, so why was everybody making me feel bad about it? I stomped out of the room. “Bye! I’ll call later!” I shouted, as I got ready to go to Madison’s house.
“What?” Tori said to my mom, looking confused as she took off her headphones. “It is Wednesday, right?”
“Touchy subject, I guess,” I heard my mom say.
CHAPTER 11
Maybe it was because I had never been to Madison’s house alone before, but it was so strange to be there. The party had been crazy with lots of people around and the house had been decorated. Now that it was just a normal day at her house, I finally got a good look around her bedroom. I scanned my eyes around the room trying not to make it obvious that I was staring at everything.
Was this a cotton candy parallel universe? She had a lot of pink stuff in her room. A lot. Her curtains were pink, her walls were pink, and her bedding was all pink and frilly. There were stuffed animals all over the place. I didn’t know what to make of it. I actually didn’t know what to make of her.
I’m a girl—why did other girls confuse me so much? Tori was definitely confusing, but I hadn’t realized that my classmates were too. I felt so different from Madison. I wasn’t sure why I was even there. She was all “mature” at school and seemed so sophisticated, but here in her room, she just seemed like a little kid.