by Patti Doss
I turned away. He was pissed off, so he must have seen me kiss Jamal. I really didn’t care about him being pissed off. I always heard it was better to be pissed off than pissed on, and he definitely pissed on me.
Him and Rachel.
Jamal returned and we walked hand in hand to the elevators, as my husband looked on.
By the time we reached the room, I realized that I had forgotten to call Persia and let her know that I was okay. Jamal interrupted my thoughts when he asked me, “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I kissed him and told him, “Open the door.”
Chapter 15
Mike
I hadn’t talked to Tammie or my kids in almost two days. I called Tammie so many times and still wasn’t getting an answer.
I knew there was nothing I could say to change the situation, but I thought she would at least be ready to curse me out or something. As much as I wanted to just go home and make Tammie talk to me, I knew I had to give her some time to figure everything out and to deal with the hurt and anger she was feeling.
I had a company party to attend that night. I really didn’t want to go without my wife, but it was work, so I had to go. Just as I was getting out of the shower, my phone rang. Because it was a new number, it had to be Tammie or someone from work. It wasn’t Tammie, but I did recognize the number.
It was Ashley. Ashley was a secretary from another company that I used to mess around with. I hadn’t talked to or been with Ashley in months. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how she got my new number. “Hello?”
“Hey, stranger. Long time no hear from,” she replied.
“Yea, I been busy. What do you want, Ashley? I have to get dressed.”
“Nothing, I’ve just been thinking about you lately. When I called you, your number had been changed, so I called the office to get your new number. I hope you don’t mind me having your number.”
“Look, Ashley, now is not a good time. I got a party to attend and a lot of other things going on. I really don’t have time to play these little games with you.”
“I’m sorry, Mike. I tell you what, I’ll go to the party with you, and you can give me the chance to cheer you up. What’s the attire of the party?”
“Ashley, that’s not a good idea.”
“Come on, Mike. I can hear it in your voice that you need to have a good time. So, what’s the attire?”
I grumbled to myself. She was right. “Formal black tie,” I answered reluctantly.
“Okay, give me forty-five minutes and I’ll be ready. You know the address.”
“Okay, see you then.”
I didn’t really want to deal with Ashley tonight, but I’d rather have some company than none at all.
Ashley was 5’7”, petite, and dark-skinned with long black hair with copper brown highlights. She used to be a secretary at a partner company. We met at a company banquet. Before the night was over, we had slept together. Ashley maintained a professional demeanor. When I saw that sleeping together would not interfere with our jobs or family life, we started hooking up regularly. Ashley was married to some rich real estate mogul, who was always traveling somewhere and neglecting his wife. The only reason she worked at the company was to help keep herself busy and to stop her from being in that big ass house alone. She had no children.
We stopped seeing each other after the housing market decline. Her husband was traveling less, and he was at home more. Not long after that, she quit her job and decided to be a faithful wife. Even though, I already had a lot going on, if Ashley could make me feel just a quarter better than I did at the moment, then I was not going to turn her down.
I finally arrived at the party later than ever waiting on Ashley. Her lateness was well deserved though because she looked great. She had on this black mermaid style evening gown that hugged her body in all the right places. Just as we got ready to go into the ballroom, I saw Tammie holding hands with some guy. We must have seen each other at the same time because she seemed to be just as surprised as I was.
I wanted to run over to her and snatch her hand out of his, but I couldn’t move. I was stuck, literally. Then I realized that I was with Ashley and holding her hand as well. I let go of Ashley’s hand. I started to say something, but no words would come out. There was nothing I could say. No explanation to give. My wife had caught me with another woman again.
It was clear that Tammie was beyond done with me. I expected her to curse me out, scream, or even hit me or Ashley. I definitely wanted to hit that guy she was with. Tammie did none of those things, though. She simply smiled at me and said, “Hello, Mike. Enjoy your evening,” and walked away.
Ashley was trying to figure out what was going on. She kept asking me all types of questions.
“Who is that? Why you let go of my hand? Is that your wife? Why you look like that?”
She was working my nerves!
Finally, I said, “That’s my wife!”
At first, she got quiet, but then she returned to reporter mode. “Why is she here with somebody else? Are you guys getting a divorce? What happened?”
I yelled at Ashley, “Shut up or take your ass home!”
She didn’t say another word. I left her standing there while I went to the restroom to get myself together. When I came back out, Ashley was gone. The concierge said she left in a cab. This night was going from bad to worse. If it was not over between Tammie and I, there was certainly no hope for us now.
I had to get out of there. Just as I started to leave, I see Tammie and the guy she was with kissing and it wasn’t just a peck on the lips. She was kissing him the way she kissed me. I wanted to rush to them and make him take his lips off my wife, but I was temporarily paralyzed. When the paralysis started to subside, I saw that Tammie was alone. I started to walk towards her but the guy came back, and they went towards the elevators.
I waited until I heard the elevator doors close. Then I left and had the valet bring my car around.
I felt like I was suffocating in that hotel. I needed a drink, and I needed one quick. After getting into my car, I stopped at the first liquor store I could find and bought me a bottle of Amsterdam Gin. I opened the bottle as soon as I got back into my car, knowing that I didn’t need to drink and drive, but I needed to forget this night and quick.
I made it to the hotel where I was staying safe and sound, despite already feeling my liquor. I thought I was feeling it a lil’ bit too much, though. As I was about to open the door to my hotel room, I thought I heard movement inside.
Maybe it was just the alcohol or I was just tripping.
As soon as the door opened, the first thing I saw was Rachel laying across my bed in a sexy panty and bra set.
Chapter 16
RACHEL
“Please don’t be mad at me, Mike,” I said as soon as I saw the look on his face. “Please? I just had to see you. I really need to talk to you.”
The look on his face told me he was pissed off. He sat a bag down on the desk and sat down with a heavy thud. “What the hell are you doing here, Rachel? And how did you even know where I was staying? Talk, so you can get the fuck out!”
“I miss you, Mike. I hate that things happened the way that they did, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I know what I did was wrong but I can’t help how I feel about you. I-I-I love you, Mike and I want us to be together!” I said.
Mike screamed, “You what?! Have you lost your mind, Rachel?!”
When he looked at me like I disgusted him, cat caught my tongue.
“Look, I don’t have time for all this crap. My life is messed up right now. Talking to you and being with you is only going to complicate that.” He opened the bottle of whatever was in the bag and took a swallow.
As the bottle went to his lips. I walked over to Mike and kissed him. He resisted a little but not much. Whether we would be together or not, I knew he did not want me to leave his room at that moment.
Mike started kissing me back. Then I started kissin
g on his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. Once his shirt was opened, I kissed him from his ears to his lips to his chest. While kissing on his chest, I started to undo his belt and his slacks. He lifted up a little so that I could remove his pants. After a while, we were both in our underwear. I tugged at his boxers, signaling for him to remove those too, and he did. I started back kissing on his chest and eventually I made my way to his sex. I flicked my tongue around his dick while planting soft kisses all around it. Then I opened my mouth and took all of him. I sucked him with all the passion, rage, guilt, and hurt I had inside of me. The deeper I went, the more Mike moaned and the more the memories came and the faster the tears fell. Memories of what my attacker did to me and the things he made me do, memories of all the men that I allowed to use and abuse me just so I wouldn’t be alone!
I was so lost in my own world that I didn’t even notice that Mike was about to come. So, I sucked him fast, then slow, then fast again until he exploded in my mouth. I swallowed his sexual cream. It was so warm, a little salty, yet sweet. As his cream ran down my throat, all I could think about was how I was going to tell him that I was pregnant.
More tears started to fall.
Even though his sex had died down, I continued to kiss it and suck him until he was ready again and until my tears stopped falling. I wiped my eyes and got up once he was hard again. Mike had his eyes closed and was still moaning a little, so I straddled him backwards.
Mike continued to moan. Then he eased up out of the chair, still inside me, and walked to the end of the bed. As he eased me onto the bed, he slipped out of me. Mike flipped me over onto my back and started kissing me from my ears down to my navel. Although it felt so good to feel his lips all over me, it was a roughness to it that I’ve never seen from him before. It was as if he was zoning in and out. I pulled him up to me, so that I could see his eyes. There was this crazy, yet confused look in them. I could see the anger, the hurt, and guilt in his eyes, so I just hugged him so tight and kissed him.
For a second, it looked as if he had tears in his eyes. I waited for him to turn away from me, but this time he didn’t. He kissed me, passionately and lovingly, like I’d seen him kiss Tammie. I just wanted to melt. Then he started kissing me on my neck, chest, and giving my breasts the attention they wanted and needed so bad. Next thing I know, his lips had met my pussy and he was making figure eights while I was calling out to Jesus.
Lord, why can’t this man belong to me? I thought. If I didn’t want to believe it at first, I realized at that very moment that I truly was in love with this man.
Just as I was about to explode, Mike stopped licking on me and pushed his sex into me, going deeper with each stroke. He must have scared that orgasm because it just would not come. The longer it took to show up, the harder Mike thrusted and the louder I screamed.
Finally, I exploded and so did Mike. Then he collapsed on top of me, breathing hard like he’d just run a marathon. We laid like that for about five minutes until reality started to sink in, and Mike got up. Mike walked over to the desk, opened his bottle again and took a long gulp from it. Then he went into the bathroom, and I heard the shower turn on.
I just laid there as tears emerged from my eyes and my lover’s sweet nectar oozed out of me.
Chapter 17
MIKE
What did I just do? I had the shower on full blast and no matter how hard I scrubbed, I could not wash away my guilt, hurt, anger, and pain. All I could think about was what Tammie was doing with that guy she was with and why did I give into Rachel yet again?
So many questions and not enough answers.
Hell, I’m not sure if I even wanted the answers. Just as I got lost in my thoughts, Rachel stepped into the shower. I wanted to yell at her, put her out, and just make her disappear, but images of Tammie and that guy kept flashing in my head. Rachel started kissing me on the back of my neck and down my back. I turned around and started kissing her, trying to defeat every image in my head as the hot water from the shower beat down on mine.
Then I bent her over and thrust everything I had into her. She screamed and moaned, but I didn’t care. I pounded and pounded her until I exploded again. Neither one of us said a word. I just turned back around and grabbed my washcloth and soap and started to bathe.
While I showered, Rachel put her arms around me. Again, I wanted to shout at her and make her leave, but why? Tammie was probably back at that hotel doing the same with that guy that I just did with Rachel.
I finished showering and got out, leaving Rachel in the shower. By the time, she came out, my bottle of gin was half empty, and I was stretched across the bed with my hands behind my head.
Rachel sat on the bed with the towel wrapped around her. “I have something to tell you.”
Thinking she was about to get all emotional again, I say, “Not now, Rachel.”
Then she ruins my life even further as she blurts out, “Mike, I’m pregnant!”
I sat straight up. “You’re what?!”
“I’m three months pregnant, and it’s yours,” she replied.
My face fell into my hands. “Please tell me you’re joking. Please? You can’t be pregnant. You can’t be,” I said.
Tears started rolling down her face as she said, “Why can’t I be pregnant, Mike? We have been having unprotected sex for almost four months. I’m pregnant. It’s yours, and I’m keeping the baby!”
I felt like all the blood left my body. There was nothing else left to say or do. This night had just turned from bad to worst. All I could think about was how the hell I was going to tell Tammie that I got her ex-best friend pregnant, if the baby was really mine.
I walked over to the desk and took another swallow of the gin. I was drinking like a wine-o, and it still didn’t seem like enough. Matter of fact, I don’t think there was enough alcohol or drugs to undo the damage that I had done to the people in my life.
I said down at the desk feeling like straight up death. “Are you sure that it’s my baby, Rachel?”
She wiped her eyes and said, “Yes! And I wouldn’t lie about something like this. Trust me, this is the last thing I wanted. I do not want to hurt Tammie any more than I have already, but I tried to get an abortion. I just couldn’t go through with it. I don’t know what to do anymore, Mike. I’m all alone. Tammie does not want anything to do with me anymore. Persia and Sharon avoid me like the plague. I’m sorry that you think I ruined your life, but what about my life? My life is ruined just as well as yours.”
She was right. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right. She didn’t force me to have sex with her. I did it on my own free will. Now I have to deal with the consequences of my actions.
I told Rachel, “I want to get a test done as soon as you can to see if the baby is really mine before I tell Tammie.”
Her eyes bucked. “You’re going to tell Tammie?”
“I have to. It’s better if I tell her than wait for her to find out on her own.”
She sighed. “Okay, you’re right.”
“Look, Rachel, I don’t want you to get your hopes up. No matter if I’m the baby’s father or not, there will never be a future between me and you. We have done enough damage. Tammie probably will never forgive us. That’s fine with me because I know we hurt her really bad. But I’m not going to add fuel to the fire by being with you and this baby like we are one big happy family. My heart is with Tammie and my kids. It always will be. If the baby is mine, of course, I will take care of it. But as for me and you, it ends tonight. I’m going down to the lobby to clear my head. By the time I get back, I hope you are gone.”
I put on some shorts, a t-shirt and my shoes and left. As soon as I hit the hallway, the tears started to fall. Men aren’t supposed to cry. Yet, tonight, there was nothing left to do, but cry. For a minute, all I could do was put my face to the wall and just cry.
Eventually, I got myself together and walked down to the lobby. The night auditor asked if I needed anything. I told her no, that I just couldn�
��t sleep. The lobby was too quiet, so I decided to sit in my car and listen to music or something. I just had to get out of that hotel.
After sitting in my car for about thirty minutes, I saw Rachel leaving the hotel. I could tell she had been crying again, but I didn’t care. Hell, I couldn’t dry her tears because I had to dry my own first. I watched her leave the parking lot before I exited my car and went back to my room.
I finished the rest of the gin and just laid down. Right now, there was nothing I could do to fix any of the problems in my life. My wife was at a five-star hotel with some guy doing God knows what and I got one of her ex-best friends pregnant.
If I could control nothing else, all I wanted to control at this very moment was sleep.
Chapter 18
TAMMIE
As Jamal opened the door, I saw that the room was simply breathtaking. Everything was just perfect.
If only my life was that way.
The suite had a separate living room and bedroom with a connecting door, master bath with a walk-in shower with a rain shower head and a separate full bath/powder room. The suite was decorated in light colors such as beige, light yellow, and sage. The view from the windows was extravagant. You could see the Atlanta nightlights so well.
Standing at that window and looking at the Atlanta city lights brought back memories of when I first moved to Georgia. Mike drove us downtown so the kids could see Atlanta at night. The kids were so happy and excited. I was almost as excited as them as they ogled at the skyscrapers and the building lights.
That memory hit me so hard that my eyes started to fill with tears. I began to realize that there was not going to be any more family moments like that. I didn’t want Jamal to see me cry, so I quickly wiped my eyes and turned my back to Jamal. He came and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he whispered so sweetly that I almost believed him.