Perfectly Flawed

by Dani René

  “Is that what you did to me?”

  18

  Ryder

  Her question stills me for a moment. No matter how I want to deny it, I can’t. Yes, I did put Piper on a pedestal, but that’s where she belongs.

  “Don’t stare at me like that,” she quips, placing her hands on her hips. “I’m no saint.”

  “Oh?” I respond, my eyebrow arching in question. “Tell me, little Butterfly, what nasty things have you been doing?” I lean in, trailing my lips over the shell of her ear, allowing my warm breath to draw out a soft whimper from her. “Were you alone in your bed, dreaming about the big bad wolf? Did he climb through the window and devour you?”

  Our banter has always been our foreplay. The back and forth we throw at each other is my weakness, because it takes all my restraint not to bend her over the worktop and lick her from her heels to her pert little backside.

  “You don’t play fair, at all, Ryder.” She pouts. Her full pink lips make me lick my own. Leaning in, I plant a soft kiss on her mouth, and another, and another. With each moment of contact between us, heat scorches through me. We should get to the school to go through the routine, but I know a better place to take her.

  “I’m taking you to the warehouse.”

  She pulls away, her eyes searching mine. “To dance?”

  It’s been so long since we’ve done a routine together, since I’ve just let myself feel the music. I nod. “Yes. We’ll dance.”

  “Will we do it to a song of my choice? You always promised to teach me something that’s not conventional.” The hope in her eyes holds me hostage, gripping me so hard I can’t breathe. Since we met and she fell into my world, I promised her a routine. One I’ve long since forgotten.

  “I’m not sure I can.” It’s an honest answer.

  She nods. “I get it.”

  “But for you I’ll try.”

  Tears shine in her eyes, making them glisten like two large orbs of see-through glass.

  “I’ll always try for you.”

  She leans up on her tiptoes, pressing her closed mouth on mine. The heat of her kiss taunts my barely there restraint.

  “Now make me pancakes.” She giggles as she steps back, settling herself on the stool. Shaking my head with a chuckle, I grab the bowl and start to mix the ingredients while she tells me about the kids she’s been teaching.

  When we reach the warehouse, it’s empty, and this is why I love coming here. The silence that greets me each time is calming, especially when I needed to think and get away from the noise of my childhood home. This building was my sanctuary.

  I still can’t believe Piper recalls the day I told her about what I did. My weakness was evident that day, shining right through. I hated my life, my parents didn’t understand who I was, but then again, what teenager believes their folks are there as a support rather than a hindrance.

  Shoving the large metal door open, it creaks loudly in protest. I allow Piper to enter first. She wanted to stop at home to change before coming here. Seeing her in those low-hung gray sweatpants, the bright purple sports bra, and the blue tank top with large ripped sections on the front and back—that looks like it’s seen better days—has me recalling the times I’d had to swallow down my desire for her.

  At the time, she was far too young. I would’ve gone to jail. But now, all bets are off. She’s twenty, old enough to make her own decisions, and adult enough for me to stare at and imagine her naked.

  “Are you going to stand there all day staring at me?” she quips, pulling out her iPod, placing it on the docking station.

  “Just appreciating the view, Butterfly,” I tell her, stalking closer to the space we’d made a dance floor out of so many times before.

  Before I have time to think, the song in question comes on, and I recognize it immediately. That song. It was released about a year ago, before I decided to walk back into her life. When I’d first heard it, I thought about working on a routine for it.

  And this is certainly unconventional. Even though it’s not your average hip hop song, the beat is there, and I can get the eight count for the steps.

  "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran always made me think of her. No matter where I was, what I was doing, I had to stop and remember her.

  Each time I’ve heard it since, it’s been like a shot to the heart, threatening to kill me.

  “This is the song you wanted?” I question, nearing her as she turns to face me.

  She smiles, shrugging before responding. “Yeah, you up for it, old man?”

  “Don’t sass me, Piper, you know I’ll take you over my knee,” I warn before pulling the hoodie I’m wearing off, chucking it on the chair beside the stereo.

  “You have an idea for steps then, smartass?” she questions, arching her golden eyebrow at me.

  “Come here, Butterfly that’s soon to have a sore ass.” I tug her over to the dance floor, placing her in front of me, my body cocooning hers as I grab her hips and hold her steady. I wait out the last few strings before the song replays.

  Her breathing speeds up, but I grip her tightly.

  “Remember your fifteenth birthday dance,” I whisper in her ear and she nods. “Good girl, same count, same steps. And go.” I release her and she flows into the drop, spinning on her knees to face me, grabbing my hand as I tug her from the floor.

  The slim frame against mine has every nerve in my body electric. Reaching for her hips, I lift her into the air, turning as the beat drops. Her back arches like I taught her, her hands in the air, her legs high. She looks like a fucking beautiful swan in my hands.

  “Now drop.” My order comes swiftly and I allow her to slide down my front, her breasts squashed against my chest. Every inch of me responds, needy for her.

  Swallowing it down, I focus on the dance and drop to one knee before leaning forward, and she takes her cue easily. Her body dips and she slides her back over mine in a fluid movement as we get lost in the rhythm.

  As the crescendo hits, I feel alive again. I haven’t had that emotion soar through me in years, and now, for the first time since I walked out and left her crying at the empty bus station as tears streamed down her rosy cheeks, I’m happy. I’m fucking ecstatic and it’s all because I’m home.

  I’m with Piper.

  The song comes crashing to an end, and I realize when silence hits us once more, that I’m holding her in my arms and I’m kissing her. My lips mold to hers. Her tongue tentatively darts out to meet mine.

  A soft muffled moan is the only sound she makes because I swallow all her whimpers. I revel in them. I drink them in like they’re my sustenance and I know there’s no way I can leave her again.

  19

  Piper

  It’s silent in the house. Since we danced yesterday, and today, it’s been like old times. And now, with Ryder in my old bedroom, it still feels like I’m hiding him away. Although he’s been in this house so many times before, this time feels different.

  I’m no longer a fifteen-year-old girl who’s crushing on her brother’s best friend. I’m an adult who has a boyfriend. Is he my boyfriend? I don’t know. I didn’t ask. Perhaps it’s too soon to assume so. But I want to. I want to assume everything between Ryder and me is real, that it’s not a dream and he’s not going to disappear if I blink.

  I pull on the sweater, making sure it’s warm enough for our plans tonight. Ryder said he wants to take me to the drive-in. Our small town is known for the only working drive-in, so he’s proposed a romantic evening watching whatever is playing while we eat hot dogs and drink liters of Coke.

  The tingling in my stomach hasn’t stopped since I fell asleep on his bed. It’s been there, even though just slightly. I don’t ignore it, because it’s this feeling that’s kept me going for four years while he was away.

  I head back into my bedroom from the attached bathroom to find Ryder lounging on my armchair. The large ornate one-seater is right at the window, overlooking our vast gardens. I wonder if he knows I used to sit there
watching him and Preston play ball in the backyard. Or if he knows I used to sit there only to see how he’d lie out in the sun, tanning his already golden skin while my brother would entertain all the girls he’d brought home.

  “You okay there, baby girl?” Ryder questions, setting a magazine he was flipping through on the small table.

  “I am. Do I look okay?” I near him, padding closer in my bright purple socks. His hazel eyes track me from head to toe and back again, but he doesn’t respond. “What?” I finally ask as he watches me intently.

  “Just looking at my beautiful girl.”

  My cheeks heat with a blush when he rises and closes the distance between us. My arms instinctively wrap around his neck and he leans in to kiss me.

  “What is he doing in here?” The deep rumble of my father’s livid tone shudders through me like thunder rolling in. A storm is threatening and I know we’ll all get caught in it.

  “Dad—”

  “Don’t Dad me,” he bites out. “Get out of my daughter’s bedroom, right now.” I’ve seen my father angry before, but this is ridiculous. We weren’t even doing anything.

  “Dad, I’m twenty years old,” I tell him, hoping he’ll calm down, but my father doesn’t see anything except the inked bad boy from my youth in my bedroom.

  “I’ll see you later,” Ryder confirms, the sorrow so clear in his deep hazel eyes that they shimmer with guilt. He turns and leaves me with my father.

  “No!” I race from the room, only to have my father reach for my bicep, gripping it almost painfully. “Let me go.”

  “You are my daughter, Piper. Under my roof you live by my rules. This is my house and I will not have you disrespecting me.” I tug free from his hold and run down the stairs to find Ryder at the front door.

  “Please don’t go,” I plead, my heart shattering, fragment by tiny fragment.

  “I’ll see you soon. He won’t listen to me, or you,” Ryder tells me what I already know.

  My father can be a tyrant. Ryder gently pulls me into a hug. His lips press against the top of my head in a calming kiss, but nothing can keep me from crying. Not right now.

  “I want to go with you,” I tell him, gripping his T-shirt, holding on to him so tight. I’m scared if I let go, he’ll vanish like he did so many years ago.

  “Are you still in my house?” My father’s venomous growl comes from behind me. His grip on Ryder’s shirt tugs him free from me and I’m soon stumbling backward.

  “Richard.” My mother’s voice has me spinning around to see her coming from the kitchen with a cup of tea. “What on earth are you doing?”

  “My daughter will not be lumped with a fucking man who cannot offer her anything. He’s already messed up our son’s life. Preston was expelled from college because of Ryder Kingsley. Look at him,” my father sneers, tugging on Ryder’s shirt. “He caused a drunken accident and lost his leg. Do you think I’m going to allow my daughter near the likes of him?”

  “I’m an adult. If I want to be with Ryder, I’ll be with him.”

  “Sir, with the utmost respect—”

  “Respect?” The laugh my father responds with is livid and angry. He turns to me suddenly, pointing at the staircase. “Get to your room.” It’s been a while since he spoke to me like a child, like I was disappointing him, but the tone of his voice is enough to have my body vibrating with frustration and anger.

  Without responding, I race up the stairs with one quick glance at Ryder. His eyes meet mine and I try to tell him to wait for me with a look. Once in my bedroom, I tug a small hold-all from my closet.

  My mind is made up. I need to get out of my father’s house. I’ll never be happy with the way he wants to rule my life, and that’s his fault. Not mine. Stuffing clothes, underwear, and my toothbrush into the bag, I cast a quick glance around, making sure I haven’t missed anything vital. Shoving my feet into my sneakers, I make my way back downstairs in time to see Ryder walking out the door.

  I sneak past my father. But as soon as I make it out the door, he roars at me. His heated gaze burns into my back. I don’t want to look at him, but I can’t help turning to face the man I grew up fearing.

  “Where the hell are you going?” His voice thunders as he stalks closer to Ryder’s car.

  “You said I can’t be with Ryder while I’m under your roof. Well, I’m making sure I’m no longer under your roof,” I tell him, following the man I love as he pulls the passenger door open, allowing me to slide into the seat.

  “Get back here, Piper! If you leave you lose everything, and I mean every perk you’ve become accustomed to.” His warning is clear. I’ll be cut off from the family money.

  “Piper, darling.”

  I turn to my mother. “I’m sorry, Mom, it’s done.” I slip into the passenger seat and stare straight ahead. I don’t need to see the disappointment in my father’s eyes.

  “Are you sure about this?” Ryder’s gaze is pinned on me. His frown lines crease his forehead and I’m struck by how much I do want this. How much I no longer care about the demands of my parents. All my life I’ve been a pawn in their lives, making sure I was the perfect princess. But I’m not that, nowhere near.

  I smile, nod, then whisper. “I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.”

  Ryder’s smile has always been my weakness. And right now, he gifts it to me in spades. The grin that makes my heart leap wildly in my chest is plastered on his face, but in his eyes, I see the sadness that it’s come to this.

  “I’d have to choose at some point, my father would’ve always given me an ultimatum,” I tell Ryder. “And there’s no longer a choice in this. You hold my heart. You always will.”

  My confession has him nodding his head and starting the car. As we make our way down the drive, I know I’ve made the best decision for me. I’m no longer worried about what other’s think. Ryder is mine and I’ll always be his.

  20

  Ryder

  As soon as we reach my apartment, I exit the car and make my way to Piper’s door. She’s silent, shocked perhaps because when I offer her my hand, she doesn’t move.

  “Baby girl,” I call to her, leaning in so my mouth is at her ear. “I’m here, just let me care for you, please?”

  She finally turns to face me, her eyes wide, glistening with tears. “He doesn’t love me.” Her voice is small, broken and it tugs at my heart. I’ve wanted her here for so long, but I didn’t want it like this.

  “I didn’t want to come between you and your family,” I tell her as she gets out of the car. Her arms wrap around me, holding on to me like I’m the only thing she needs to breathe. Her face is cocooned in my chest and I can’t stop holding her as she finally cries.

  Her body shakes as the wetness of her tears soaks through my T-shirt.

  “I’m sorry, baby girl,” I tell her, pressing my lips to the top of her head.

  “It’s not your fault, Ryder. Please don’t blame yourself,” she mumbles into the material, her delicate fingers fisting it, tugging me closer as if she wants to climb inside my clothes.

  “I can’t not, Butterfly. If I hadn't been there, he would've never gotten angry and cut you off.”

  She pulls away then to meet my eyes. “He hates everyone who doesn’t live up to his standards. There’s nothing wrong with you, or us being together. Even Preston is happy for us.” She’s right. Her father has always had a limited mindset when it came to me, or anyone else who doesn’t fit his rigid idea of who his kids should have as friends.

  “Let’s go inside. We can have something to eat and you can relax.” I pull her along, taking the hold-all up to the elevator. The ride up is done in the quiet of just our breaths. I lead her into my apartment again and she settles on the sofa, curling her legs under her ass. She looks so comfortable; like she was always meant to be there. In my space.

  Leaving her, I take the small bag into the bedroom, dropping it on the bed. When I enter the living room, she’s lying in a ball on the corner of the cou
ch. Her body is so small with her legs curled up, and her arms wrapped around her calves.

  “Did you want something to drink? Or eat?”

  Her eyes meet mine at my question. “Juice?”

  Nodding, I head to the kitchen with my heart heavy that she’s walked out of her childhood home because of me. Even though she says it’s not my fault, I can’t help feel the guilt of what she had to do.

  “It’s not your fault.” Her voice comes from behind me and I realize I’ve been staring out the window, lost in thought at how to get her back in her father’s good graces.

  “It is. You might not think so, but you’ve just practically been disowned because of me. I fuck up everything I touch, and once again, this is no different.”

  “You always do that,” she observes. “You blame yourself for what others do, and that’s not fair to you.”

  Shaking my head, I place the glass of juice on the counter. “Here’s your juice.” I move past her out of the kitchen and into the living room. Her soft footfalls move behind me and I know she’s about to lose her shit with me.

  “Do you enjoy it, Ryder?”

  Turning to face her, I tip my head to the side. “What, Piper?”

  “Taking the blame. It seems you’ve done it all your life and even now when I need you to believe me, you’re convinced it’s because of you I’ve walked out. I would’ve done it anyway, mainly because I’m an adult,” she bites out angrily and I can’t help agreeing. Her fire is the first thing I fell in love with, and it’s the one thing I’ve always loved about her. “My father can no longer rule my life. I’m done.”

  Sitting on the sofa, I pat the cushion beside me, but she shakes her head. I just want her close, to inhale her sweetness. “I get that,” I respond. “It’s just—”