by Lola StVil
“Ruin, I’m sorry about the way things happened for your family, but it’s not that simple,” the prisoner replies.
“Oh, but it is. Take the human in the corner. Maybe she should be spared. Maybe she just made a mistake and I should take pity on her,” I offer.
“Maybe you should,” he replies.
“But you see, it doesn’t matter. I have the ability to take her life and for that reason alone, I will,” I tell him as I head over to the human.
“Ruin, wait!” he says in a strained voice.
“What is it?”
“He said something else about you. Something I think is true,” the prisoner pushes.
“I’m listening.”
“He told me that you had ‘potential.’ He thinks you could find it in you to fight the darkness. You could become a force for good.”
“You think it matters if you are good or bad? You think anything we do in this world makes a difference? Are you fucking joking?” I snap.
“It does make a difference, believe me. What you do matters. It matters to me and to the human you’re about to kill.”
“I kill her; the sun comes up. I don’t kill her; the sun comes up. The only thing that matters is how much fun you have before your time is up,” I reply as I head over to the fragile human cowering near the cave wall.
“Did you have fun, human?” I ask mischievously.
“Please don’t kill me. Please, no. Please.” She sobs at my feet.
“Ruin, don’t!” the prisoner pleads.
“She made choices that led her into this cave. We all did,” I remind him.
“You have to show her some mercy. She’s just a human,” he begs.
“SHOW MERCY? WHAT MERCY DID OMNIS SHOW MY FAMILY? HOW DID HE HELP US?” I roar.
My voice is so loud it echoes throughout the cave.
“Killing the human won’t bring your family back,” he reasons.
“No, it won’t. I could just let her live. But then that’s the great thing about this cesspool of bullshit called life. I could do a lot of things. But right now what I’m going to do is cut her throat with this blade. I could suck the life out of her, but I like the feel of a good blade against human skin. The killing feels more…personal.” I share with him.
“He has feelings for you,” the prisoner warns.
His words cut right through me. The ground beneath me seems to give way. Although I’m standing still, I feel as if I’m floating out into a dark abyss with nothing to hold on to.
“He doesn’t,” I whisper, mostly to myself.
“He does. I know him. I know how he thinks,” the prisoner replies.
“No, he hates me,” I promise.
“He hates who you are right now. But he knows that you have it in you to be better. You can change. That change could make him love you.”
“LIAR!” I counter.
“No, it’s true. If you love him, don’t kill the human.”
“I don’t love him. I don’t love anyone.”
“I don’t believe you, Ruin. I think you came down here for a reason. I think you came into this cave because deep down you want to help me,” the prisoner insists.
“I came because I was sent here to finish off the human,” I lie.
“Then why haven’t you? You’ve been down here for a while now. If you wanted to kill her, you would have done so already.”
“You really think you know me, don’t you?”
“Yes, Ruin, I do,” he promises.
“I may have felt some strange attraction to him before, but that was before. Now I couldn’t care less about him, you, or the human,” I reply as I grab a fistful of the human’s hair and yank her head back.
She continues to cry and beg for her life. The prisoner calls out for me to stop. My blade cuts through the air and quickly makes contact with the human’s neck. I slice into her soft flesh; like slicing into a tender rib eye steak. She makes a gagging sound as the life escapes her body. I wipe the blood off my blade and place it back into my pocket.
“Damn it, why the hell did you do that?” he asks.
“Because I can.”
As I head out of the cave I turn back to face him.
“They are going to kill you in three days if the angels don’t give them what we ask for,” I warn him.
“The angels won’t hand it over. They would rather you take me out.”
“And what about him? Do you think he’ll be okay with you being murdered?” I ask.
“Maybe he would be; I was always a better Akon than I was a father.”
CHAPTER TWO: OUT OF REACH
I’m not going to help Rage. He’s a demon who switched sides. I have no obligation to him at all. I should be flying back to my team.
So why am I just standing here? Because he would be livid to know I didn’t help his father. But then again, so what? I don’t owe Silver shit. I don’t care that he would be angry with me.
Then against my better judgment, I flash back to a rare moment I had with Rage’s son. We both did something we had never done before—talked about our past. It felt foreign and weird, but ultimately it didn’t completely suck…
It was back when the two of us used to hang out and destroy things. We had just set yet another cargo of supplies on fire. It belonged to the Paras and they didn’t take kindly to seeing their stuff go up in flames. So they chased us across the globe.
It took weeks to get them off our trail, and when we finally did, we celebrated. We got a dozen bottles of Coy Dark and drank our asses off. We somehow ended up in a junkyard being chased by a couple pit bulls.
Silver hurled his signature silver colored fireballs towards them as a warning. It worked; the dogs scurried away. We then climbed onto the hood of the nearest car in the junkyard. We lay there together, looking up at the dark sky.
“You know I could have made a mixture so we were hidden from the Paras,” I told him.
“Yeah, but what fun is that?” he asked.
I laughed and agreed with him. Then his cell rang. He looked at it and declined the call.
“Your father?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“How many times has he called?”
“Too many.”
“So what’s his deal?” I wondered.
“He was evil and now he’s not. That’s pretty much it.”
“He gave up being evil for you and your mom, right?”
“So the story goes,” he said.
“Does he completely suck at the whole Dad thing?” I asked.
“No…he taught me how to use my powers, how to control them, he even had the safe sex talk with me. Everyone else’s parent got all embarrassed and crap but not my father. He talked to me way before everyone thought he should, and he was blunt.”
“You really needed him to explain it to you?” I teased.
“Actually, I did some exploring on my own way before that but it seemed important to him. So, I let him give me the talk. It went something like this.” He mimicked his dad’s stern voice and pointed his finger.
“Aaden, angel and human boys are the same when it comes to sex. It’s all you guys think about. You’re gonna want it all the time. But here’s what you need to know: I don’t give a damn how much you want her. It’s her show; if she’s not ready, she’s not ready. Don’t push. That makes you an asshole. Don’t beg, that makes you a punk. And if she says yes she wants you and you don’t use a condom, that makes you a fool.”
“And you wanted to go as far away as possible,” I guessed.
“In the beginning, yeah. But we kept talking and it wasn’t so bad.”
I looked over at him and I could almost see him replaying that moment in his mind’s eye. Silver is a thousand miles away from the junkyard.
“Then why do you hate him?” I pushed.
“I don’t. It’s just when I look in his eyes I can see…”
“See what?”
“Diana, why are we even talking about this?” he snapped.<
br />
“Because we’re drunk and we already had sex.”
He laughed at me and shook his head.
“Okay, fine don’t tell me,” I replied.
“What about you? You hate your mother for killing herself?”
“No. I hate Omnis for not stopping her.”
“Omnis doesn’t usually intervene with humans,” he reminded.
“Maybe he should start,” I countered.
“Did your mom ever say goodbye?” he asked.
“Yeah, the morning of her death, she actually got out of bed. She made breakfast: French toast, eggs, and bacon. I remember thinking she was finally feeling better. She sat across from me with this big smile. She stroked my hair and called me Princess Sparkle. She hadn’t called me that in years.”
“She wanted you to have one good moment with her.”
“She never should have done that. She gave me something with that stupid breakfast: hope. Then she just took it away.”
“Yeah, people do crap like that all the time. Give then take away,” he replied.
“That whole day in school I could barely concentrate. I wanted to get home so bad. I wanted to spend time with her now that she was out of bed and feeling better. Omnis let me think she was better. Why, why did he do that?” I asked in a weak voice.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“When I got there, her hands were still warm. If I had gotten home earlier…” I said in a faraway voice.
“Then she would have done it the next day or the day after that. Some people don’t want your help. I know because I tried to save my dad and I couldn’t,” Silver said.
“Save him from what?”
“Grief; that’s what I see when I look at him. I have my mom’s eyes and sometimes I catch him staring at me, like she’s inside me somewhere. Then when he snaps out of it and remembers she’s dead, it’s like he loses her all over again.”
“You think that’s why he didn’t come and get you at The Center?” I said.
“Yeah, I guess he was tired of being reminded of what he lost.”
“Damn, so he just left you? Well, screw Rage, Omnis, and everyone in between,” I said as I placed the bottle of Coy Dark to my lips and drank.
“You wanna know the really crazy part? I want to hate him completely but I don’t know how…”
Now, standing outside the cave, I realize something I was too drunk to understand in the junkyard: Silver still loves his father. He wouldn’t be angry if he knew I left Rage in the cave, he’d be devastated.
Ruin, you can’t seriously be considering what you’re considering. You can’t free Rage. For one thing, he’s working for the angels. And who cares if Silver is hurt? He didn’t care about hurting you when he left. So, just walk away.
I don’t listen to my own advice. Instead, I do something foolish and self-destructive. I head back into the cave.
Damn my disease!
Rage looks up when he hears me enter. Judging by the expression on his face, he’s surprised that I returned.
“Why didn’t you get Silver out of The Center?” I demand.
“What are you talking about?” he asks.
“Don’t play dumb with me, Rage, he was counting on you and you bailed on him. You let him suffer, all because he reminds you of his mother?”
“What the hell are you saying? When did Aaden suffer?”
“Really? This is the road you’re taking? You didn’t know your son was being tortured?” I ask, getting more pissed off.
Then I study him closer and see a genuine look of surprise.
Wait, could it be?
“You really had no idea what The Center did to him, did you?” I ask.
“Aaden went to Bliss. It’s a prison. They wouldn’t let him fly and they made sure he stayed away from humans. What’s this Center you’re talking about?”
I then tell him the truth about where Silver was really sent and what he went through.
I tell him about the torture, the beatings, and “reconditioning” sessions with electric shock. I made the mistake of telling him about the cruelest part of The Center: the White Room. If the shackles laced with Quden weren’t around his wrist, suppressing his powers, this whole place would have been up in flames.
“What did they do to him in the White Room?” Rage demands, seething.
“I don’t know—”
“Tell me what they did!”
“I don’t know!”
“WHAT TWISTED SHIT DID THEY DO TO MY SON IN THE FUCKING WHITE ROOM?”
“I. DON’T. KNOW.”
He glares at me, and although I know he can’t use his powers, I feel as if I will be set on fire at any moment.
“Rage, I’m not lying. Silver never told me what they did to him in the White Room. I just know that something in there scared him more than death.”
“What else?” Rage asks in a calm voice that somehow manages to be even more menacing.
“They placed a Veen on him. A Veen is a mark that tracks your actions and emotions. They placed it inside his chest. The mark spreads out when he is longing for Pryor, touching her, or even thinking too intently on her.”
“Pryor, what does she have to do with any of this?”
“You really think everyone is okay with how Silver feels about the First Noru?” I ask in disbelief.
“I told him it could bring trouble and that he should just be friends with her. She asked him out and I ordered him to say no.”
“You think that’s all it takes? You loved his mom; do you think you could have stayed away from her?”
“No,” he replies as he bows his head.
“Well, like father, like son.”
“Ruin, what happens if Aaden and Pry get together?”
“Each time they have an emotional connection, the Veen grows, causing Silver unimaginable pain. Should the Veen reach where his heart would be, The Center will come and take him away. That is if he doesn’t die from the pain.”
“Ruin, let me go.”
“I can’t do that.”
“You know there is no way Aaden is going to stay away from Pryor. They have basically sentenced him to death.”
His words feel like sharp icicles plunging into my chest. I look away so he won’t see the pathetic state I’m in.
“Ruin, you know I’m right. You need to set me free so I can go to him.”
“You don’t care about him. They said you gave permission for them to do that to Silver. That’s what they told him anyway,” I report to him.
“Bullshit! I would never let them hurt Aaden like that, never. He’s my son!”
“Then why didn’t you come check in on him?” I push.
“The Paras told me it was better that he stay focused on the program. They said he was getting counseling. The fucking liars! Let me out, Ruin, right now.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not? You can do this. You can be a decent demon and set me free.”
“Decent demon? Are you kidding me? You think we can all just walk around changing sides like you?”
“I don’t know about other demons, but I know you have it in you. And so does Aaden. We both believe in you…”
“Why?”
“Because sometimes shit happens that’s not supposed to but it does. You’re not supposed to love a Noru but you do. And Omnis knows Aaden caring about a Kaster is stupid but he does, Ruin. He cares about you. He thinks you can change; we both do.”
I look into his eyes and find that Rage is being sincere. Rage has managed to overthrow his dark nature and go where there’s hope. His eyes plead with me to join him. But since my family’s death, “hope” has always been a place just out of reach.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper miserably as I turn and walk away.
“Ruin, come back! Ruin…”
*************
I’m not sure how many shots of Coy Dark I’ve had but judging from the bartender’s reaction when I asked for more, it’s a lot. I pull
out an Alka stick. It’s a cigarette that glows green at the tip and replays the last few moments before you lit it. I see Rage’s face in the smoke I puff into the air.