“I…” His hands slipped beneath my shirt and slowly slid upward as he bent to kiss my neck. I could hardly breathe. “Do you want me to be honest?”
He answered as he trailed his lips along my collarbone.
“Always.”
“Kamden, I’m terrified.”
He stopped his act of delicious torture and lifted his head to look at me seriously.
“Terrified of the stone or of me?”
Our plan for that evening had nothing to do with my fear.
“I’m not worried about tonight, and it’s not that I’m scared of you, exactly. I’m afraid of this. It…it’s been so long, Kamden. What if I’m really bad at it now? What if it isn’t good?”
He smiled and gently lifted my hand so that he could kiss the inside of my palm. The sweetness warmed me through.
“Lass, I’ll not have ye worried about a thing whilst in my bed. Memories of yer skill in matters such as this are seared into my memory forever.”
I groaned and retreated until my back hit the wall.
“I know. That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Harper.” He stepped toward me, his expression desperate and needy. “I’ve never wanted anything as bad as I want ye right now. ’Twas always our love for each other—even unspoken as it was—that allowed for such wondrous lovemaking between us. That hasn’t gone away. If anything, it has grown stronger with every night I spent apart from ye.”
His hands were on me again, slowly tugging and lifting my shirt until my arms lifted to assist him. On impulse, I reached to remove his. In moments, all our clothes were scattered on the floor. He lifted me with ease, and my legs wound around him as he walked me over to the bed.
“’Tis like riding a bike. Let me show ye how little ye have to be afraid of.”
I lost myself in the sensation of loving him. As he entered me, I cried out his name. We moved together in a familiar rhythm that only comes with the most seasoned lovers.
“I love you.” The words tumbled out of my mouth for the first time in five years. This time, I wasn’t met with cold silence.
“I dinna know what love was until I found ye, Harper. And I’ll never know such love again.”
We reached our peaks in a shattering unison that left us both trembling and gasping for air.
I didn’t remember ever being so happy before.
Chapter 20
By the time Kamden and I drove away from the castle, with the entire staff looking on, it was nearly two hours later than originally planned. Margaret was in a tizzy about it. Which honestly—petty person that I am—gave me an immense sense of satisfaction.
“At least we won’t have to wait in Margaret’s barn until dark to make the walk back up here.”
“Aye, ’tis the only reason I wished to tup ye the third and fourth times.”
I laughed and reached for his hand as he drove us down the long pathway away from the castle. The pond stretched out to our left, and a sudden horrifying possibility entered my mind.
“Hey Kamden, did you by any chance see where Mitsy landed in the past after seeing her disappear in your dream? I mean, did she just wake up on the side of the pond or on the castle footsteps?”
“No, I dinna see anything past her vanishing before me. Why do ye ask?”
“I’m just wondering if this will work the same way as our wishes. We made them right before falling asleep, and we woke with them granted. If you throw the rock in the water, will we end up in the water, as well? We will both get sick if we end up in there tonight.”
He dismissed my worry right away.
“Surely, it canna work that way. Why a person might drown being shocked in such a way. I doona think ye have anything to worry about.”
I didn’t feel the same optimism, but I said nothing.
It was a short drive to Margaret’s home. As Kamden expected, her shed was empty and the car fit easily inside. Closing our coats, Kamden grabbed the rock, and we made the short hike back to McMillan Castle.
* * *
Lights still shone brightly through the windows of the castle as we approached it from behind, but no one seemed to be outside. With any luck, we would be able to skip the stone without anyone taking notice.
Kamden moved quickly, and I hurried to keep up with him.
“Don’t throw that thing until I’m over there next to you and hanging on. I’m afraid if you throw it when we aren’t touching, you’ll leave me here.”
He paused and extended his hand in my direction.
“Ye certainly have a lot of theories about how this wee rock will work.”
“I have theories about everything. I’m a woman. I think. That’s what we do.”
He ignored my short-handed insult and continued to walk with me until we met the water’s edge.
“Are ye ready?”
All I could think of was how cold that water must be at this time of night.
“I suppose I’ll have to be.”
With the eagerness of an over-excited child, Kamden pulled the rock from his pocket and skillfully sent it skipping across the water.
Everything whirled around us quickly, and the first thing I felt on the other side of consciousness was water.
Damn that Morna straight to hell.
Chapter 21
McMillan Castle—1650
* * *
Strong arms pulled me from the freezing water as I sputtered and cursed. The water was so cold, it felt like knives on my skin. From the sounds coming from Kamden, the tumble into the water was just as painful for him.
“I told you. Gah, I could’ve at least put on some thermals or something.”
Kamden said nothing.
I should’ve been much more worried about the reactions of those surrounding us. What if they weren’t accustomed to people landing in the pond from a different time? While Kamden believed it had happened once before, there was no reason for us to believe they were expecting us now. At least, that’s what I assumed until the big, burly, dark-haired god that pulled me from the water spoke. His voice was deep, velvety, and sexy as hell.
“Lass, ’twill be easier for us to warm ye if ye stay still. I’m Baodan. We’ve been expecting ye for over a day now.”
Baodan—I knew the name and the face now that I looked at it. His portrait hung with all the others in the great hall of McMillan Castle. This man served as laird here.
Seeing sense in his plea, I stopped flinging about and allowed the woman beside him to drape a thick, wool blanket around my shoulders. She had the most gorgeous red hair I’d ever seen.
“The first time I landed in that water, I nearly drowned. You would think Morna would come up with a better way for people to get back and forth from here. Truthfully, I think she does it for her own amusement.”
It was one thing to think about the possibility that all of this could be true. It was another thing entirely to have people I’d read about in this castle’s histories standing and speaking in front of me—especially when half of them were quite obviously not born of this time. Now that I was on solid ground and wrapped in something warm, I could pick them out easily—their modern vocabulary and American accents gave them away.
The woman next to me, along with three other equally stunning women, two men, and a young boy, all seemed to have traveled the same way we had at one point or another.
Kamden addressed the group despite the chatter in his teeth.
“H…how ddddd…did ye know we…we were coming?”
The little boy, who looked as excited as Kamden had before throwing the rock, raised a small pocket watch in the air and spoke.
“Morna told us. We’re so glad you’re here. It’s been awhile since we’ve had anybody new come back.”
A maternal-looking blonde stepped forward. I guessed by the way the young boy looked at her that she was his mother. “Cooper, let’s get them inside and in dry clothes before we discuss anything further.”
Everyone filed inside quickly, and before Kam
den and I could say two words to each other, we were taken in different directions—the women off with me towards one area of the castle and Kamden off with the men in another.
It was the strangest thing to walk inside a place that had basically been my home for the better part of several years and see it through the eyes of those that owned it first. Their belongings and décor lined the halls and filled the rooms. I always felt so at home in McMillan Castle before, but I didn’t feel that way at all now. It felt like all of our memories were somehow wiped away in this time. Knowing all that was yet to happen, and the castle didn’t yet hold our memories broke my heart in a way I never expected.
“You don’t look so good. Are you okay?”
They led me to what Kamden used as his study. In this time, the room was a small bedchamber for what appeared to be one of the castle’s live-in staff.
I turned toward the second blonde. She was younger than the first and far more blunt.
“I’m fine.”
I could tell she didn’t quite believe me, but thankfully, she didn’t press further. I didn’t know how to explain to her how I felt. I truly expected to find it so interesting to see the castle in this time. Instead, I just found it immensely unsettling.
The nameless woman smiled gently at me then turned to address the rest of the group.
“Why don’t you guys go and check on the boys? I’ll help her find something to wear, and we’ll meet up with you in a bit.”
No one opposed the woman’s suggestion. I thought perhaps they could all see that I felt overwhelmed. Once we were alone, she faced me once again and extended her hand.
“I’m Jane. I’m a part-time resident of the castle. My husband and I split our time between here and Cagair Castle. It’s a long story.”
That explained why I didn’t know who she was. They weren’t McMillans so their portraits wouldn’t have hung in the hall.
“I’m Harper. It’s nice to meet you.”
“There’s a selection of dresses laid out for you just over there. I’ll step out while you change. If you need some help, just holler. Some of it’s sort of complicated.”
Even as badly as I wanted out of my own wet clothes, the last thing I wanted to do was put on a garment from this time. My visceral reaction to all of this baffled me. Where had my adventurous spirit gone?
Then I thought of Kamden, and deep down I knew.
Kamden loved me, but I knew the one thing his heart always longed for the most.
Family.
He would love it here. He would never want to leave.
And I could never stay.
Chapter 22
Kamden never dreamed he came from such kind and conversational men. With only his grandfather as reference, he expected to be welcomed by a cold and stern group of duds. Nothing could’ve been more opposite of how these men were. They were kind, funny, and welcoming. Conversation flowed easily among them. Their knowledge of modern times—no doubt thanks to their modern women—made no topic too difficult to discuss.
He changed quickly. By the time he joined the men in the dining hall, they had ale and food ready and waiting for him. If he’d only known all of this was available to him as a child, he would’ve run away here instead of to Margaret’s.
Hours passed this way. When Harper and the other women didn’t join them, he assumed they were off somewhere enjoying conversation just as much as the men were. Only when all the ladies save Harper entered the dining hall did Kamden realize something was wrong.
“Where is Harper?”
Jane—he knew her name only because she moved to kiss Adwen before approaching him—walked to his side and grabbed onto his arm.
“She’s gone to bed. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Worry gripped him, and he hurried into the hallway with Jane so they could speak alone.
“Is she okay?”
“Yes, she is. Listen, I don’t really know either of you. I know it’s not really my place, but I just wanted to give you a heads up. Will you take some advice from someone who’s been in a similar situation?”
He would take any advice he could get. If more of it had been offered to him throughout his life, perhaps he wouldn’t have messed things up with Harper the first time.
“O’course I will. What’s happened?”
“Harper and I had a nice long talk earlier. She didn’t really open up very easily. It took some prying, and I only did so because I recognized her doe-eyed sense of dread the moment she walked into the castle. I remember feeling exactly the same way the first time I came through.”
Kamden could see that Jane struggled with whether or not to say just what she wanted to. She shifted from foot to foot as she stood in front of him.
“’Tis fine, lass. My feelings are not easily hurt. Tell me what ye think I must hear.”
“I’ll be frank then. Honestly, I don’t really know how to be anything but frank, but I was struggling to see if I could think of a way to say this more gently.”
“Ye needn’t be gentle.”
Jane smiled before delivering her blow.
“Good. The two of you can’t stay here.”
As much as he loved it here, the thought never crossed his mind. Harper was his priority now. She would never want to live here.
“O’course. We wouldna wish to intrude on yer lives at all.”
Jane laughed and shook her head.
“No, it’s not that at all. We’ve got the room, and you wouldn’t be intruding. It’s Harper. She isn’t meant to be in this time.”
“I know that.”
Jane continued to explain her rationale to him, pausing midway through when she realized what he’d said.
“I recognize myself in Harper, Kamden. I’m not meant to be in this time, either. She…what did you say? Did you say you know that?”
He nodded calmly.
“Aye. Harper would never want to stay in this time. From now on, where she goes, I go.”
His new friend looked equal parts surprised and relieved.
“Oh. Well, good. That’s really good. Why does she not seem sure of that, then?”
It saddened him to know that all was not yet healed in her heart.
“While Harper may have forgiven me for my folly of five years ago, that doesna mean the pain from those years has healed completely. Part of her still canna believe that I truly love her the way I do.”
“Sounds to me like you need to make a grand gesture.”
Kamden smiled. He had just the thing in mind.
“Aye, though I’ll need some help, and if ye have access to it, a bit of magic, as well.”
Chapter 23
“Good morning, love. I need ye to wake up. I’ve got something to show ye.”
Sad and conflicted, I had fallen asleep with a heavy heart and spent all night in a tormented state that kept me tossing and turning. Despite that, I never heard Kamden come into the room. If he had any sense at all, he would’ve noticed that my absence from the group was a sign that something bothered me. If anything, I expected him to wake me so he could ask me about it, not to use sweet kisses down the side of my face to pull me from sleep.
Something about the soft touch of his lips against my skin prevented me from waking in the same mood I went to bed in.
I turned toward him and allowed his kiss as I spoke against his mouth.
“What is it?”
“Ye have to get up to see. I think ye’ll like it.”
“Is it outside?”
“No.”
“Good. Give me five minutes. I’ll meet you out in the hallway.”
I would have to tell him today that I wouldn’t be staying here. If he wished to, I wouldn’t begrudge him for it, but he needed to know I wouldn’t be joining him. But as I watched him leave the room, he radiated such excitement that I knew I couldn’t tell him until after I enjoyed whatever it was he wanted to show me.
It took me more than five minutes to dress. Jane was right—these dresses w
ere rather complicated, but eventually I managed.
I looked ridiculous.
“Whatever this is, it better be wor…” I stopped midsentence as I swung open the bedroom door to see Kamden down on one knee. I swallowed hard as flashbacks of that dreadful day five years ago passed through my mind.
“Harper, I see the look in yer eyes, and I beg ye not to panic. Hear me out. ’Twill not be the same.”
I closed my eyes and gathered myself. I could do this if I just kept breathing and remembered all of the other things that were already so very different this time around.
“Okay. Speak.”
He smiled, gathered my shaking hands in his, and kissed my knuckles before looking into my eyes.
“I love ye, Harper. I love the way yer hands show me what’s in yer heart. I love the way ye love others. I love so many things about ye, but do ye know what I love most? I love that ye respected yerself enough to deny me when I dinna give ye what ye deserve. Ye taught me more that night than anyone has in my life. I’ll not spend another day without ye.”
He could see that I was about to interrupt him and hurried to continue so that I could not.
“This trip here has been the Christmas miracle I’ve waited for all my life. I’ve always wanted to know my family, but my home lies with ye. Marry me, Harper. Marry me and run McMillan Castle as ye always wished to. I will stand dutifully at yer side and let ye make all the decisions. Yer judgement is far better than mine. Without yer guidance in those early days, I would’ve given up and sold the castle to the highest bidder. Ye saved it. Ye saved me. Now let me save ye from yer own fear, for I already know what ye are thinking.”
Tears streamed down my face as I listened to him. I could no longer stand and look down at him. I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around him.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Ye are worried that I feel I’m giving something up by not staying here. Ye couldna be more wrong. Besides, I’ve arranged a way for us to have both. One last bit of magic to make all our Christmas wishes come true.”
A McMillan Christmas - A Novella: Book 7.5 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 9