She wasn’t normally the negative one in the bunch, but right now she was worrying more than Roark did.
Wright was spot-on about being scared because something mattered. She and Wright, what they had, it mattered. Her family mattered. As much as she tried not to let people get close, get their hooks into her deep enough to tear her apart, these were her people. They’d been hers her entire life.
There would be no getting out of this situation unscathed. Whether she fessed up about Wright or broke things off with him, the hurt was unavoidable.
In the distance, she heard Wright and Dev decide that Tuesday night was ideal for a proposal. They’d have a family dinner, throw Anna off the trail, and then he’d pop the question.
Dev clapped his best friend on the shoulder before giving Sophie a squeeze. “I don’t know what I’d do without y’all.”
As he left, Wright stepped closer, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze.
“Hey,” he finally said, touching her arm.
“Hey.” With effort, she looked up.
“I thought he’d figured out what we were doing.”
Did they even know what they were doing? One second, she had a grasp, but the next, doubt made her hold slippery.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. It’s okay, he doesn’t know. Breathe.” Wright turned her to face him, rubbing her arms like she’d come in from the cold.
“I’m . . .” She didn’t have the words to finish the sentence. She didn’t know what she was right now, and there wasn’t any time to figure it out.
“I know.” Wright pulled her closer, tucking her against him, his chin touching the top of her head. “It’s a lot for me to process too.”
Whether he was talking about Dev proposing or the connection growing between the two of them, she didn’t know. All she knew was that in his arms, she was incapable of reason.
She was fire and light and passion. Her heart wanted, without a thought or care for anyone else. And every time her heart wanted something so much it hurt, that was when the world came crashing down.
Inevitable as death, the prospect of happiness meant disaster, and it terrified her.
Wright stepped away, still holding on, studying her intently. “Are you okay?”
Something tightened in her chest, like a band around her heart. No, she was not okay. Never had been. But she could fake it like a master.
The look in Wright’s eyes, the sympathetic tone in his voice, they were more than she could handle right now.
With him, her future held possibilities she’d written off years ago. With him, she could imagine a life of security. Happiness.
But with him, there was no way to fake being okay.
If she lingered in the kitchen, the band around her heart might snap. Later, she might be able to handle this.
Maybe later, she could act like she was okay.
Chapter 17
Sophie was not okay.
Wright studied her from across the large round table that he’d helped her set up. The entire Bradley family was gathered on the verandah for a late dinner. All around, those closest to her chattered and laughed, but Sophie was quiet. Reserved.
He chewed on dinner and his worry.
The night breeze ruffled Sophie’s hair, revealing the tension at her temples and eyes. Her gaze never settled on anything, including him, for more than a few seconds. During dinner, she’d pushed her food around more than eaten it, and that simply wasn’t like her.
A little anxious anticipation was normal, given the circumstances, but the hard lines set in her brow were over something more than waiting for Devlin’s big moment.
All night, he kept one eye on Sophie, the other on Dev’s amateur lighting attempts with their newly purchased strands of gala lights.
Currently, both questionably stable.
They’d closed the restaurant early, using the excuse of setting up lighting and testing it for the big gala. Wright had cooked a special meal for the family. All of the effort was to set the stage for Dev’s proposal. Everyone knew but Anna, and everyone knew this was a big damn deal.
This was Dev. Planning to get married.
When he paused long enough to think about it, Wright still couldn’t believe it. His best friend, the guy who had struggled for so many years to find direction and the confidence to follow it, and here he was. Dev was taking a huge step that, months ago, Wright would’ve never believed possible.
Dev coughed, drawing Wright’s attention. With one last look of mild panic, Dev clinked his knife against his water glass and cleared his throat. “If I could have everyone’s attention for a minute.”
The table went quiet, everyone sharing knowing looks except Devlin and Anna.
She looked at Dev all right, as he scooted his chair back a bit and gathered himself. Anna’s emotions were crystal clear. Even though her expression only changed slightly—a soft smile, a knowing twinkle in her eyes—how she felt about Dev rolled off her.
Her love and acceptance, even admiration, was so obvious, it took Wright’s breath.
For years, he’d wondered if Dev would ever find himself, much less find someone who loved him. But he’d found Anna, and she suited him perfectly.
“I, uh . . .” Dev cleared his throat and picked up his water glass. “First, I want to propose a toast.”
As everyone raised their glasses, Wright caught Sophie’s gaze. A smile spread across his lips. He was happy for his friend, but even happier to have Sophie.
She returned a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes.
“To us,” Dev said. “To each of you. We’ve gone through a lot over the past few years, but we made it. We’ll continue to make it. And I want to take this opportunity to tell you all how much the support and love of this family means to me. How important it is.”
Uh-oh.
If Wright was getting a little tight in the throat, he bet that . . .
Yep. Sophie’s eyes were shiny, as were Roark’s. Madison, who normally did a good job of schooling her reactions, blinked a lot more than necessary.
“So . . . here’s to us.”
Everyone leaned up to clink glasses and say cheers.
Then Devlin put his glass down and turned to Anna. “And here’s to you. My sweet, strong Anna.” He cleared his throat again, glancing down and fidgeting with the edge of the table. “Even with the love and, let’s be honest, long-suffering support of my family, I never completely believed in who I could be until I met you.”
Anna twisted the cloth napkin in her hands.
“I don’t know how I got so lucky, to have you pick this place for your R and R, but I’m glad you did. I’m glad you found what you were looking for, and something you weren’t.” He grinned. “I’m so grateful I found you. I knew when I met you, you’re something special. And one thing you told me, months ago, was that if I wanted something, I had to go after it. I did, and I . . . I’m not about to let go.”
Dev scooted his chair all the way back and knelt down beside her.
Anna’s hands went to her mouth, tears filling her eyes.
“I know this might be a little old-fashioned,” Dev said with a shrug, “but you’re a classic kind of girl, and I love that about you.”
She laughed through the tears.
“Anna, will you let me love you for the rest of our lives? Let me be there for you, and be the man you see in me. Make me even happier than I already am. Will you marry me?”
Anna laughed and cried as she nodded, a watery “Yes!” when she finally spoke.
Wright clapped, everyone cheered. Sophie’s eyes were wet too as she hugged Dev, then Anna.
Everyone began making the rounds, congratulating one another. A real hug-fest for the newly engaged couple. Immediately the tales began about how they’d planned it, the lights, the dinner.
Dev pointed to the glow all around them. “Wright and I strung all of the lights out here.”
Wright eyed the extension cords. “I’m prett
y sure they’re still a hazard. They need more work and I’m going to unplug them as soon as we’re done.”
Anna gushed over the setting they’d provided, blotting her face with a napkin.
After Wright congratulated her and Dev, he reached Sophie.
They had to hug. It’d be odd not to when everyone else was doing the same. People might think they weren’t speaking again.
“Great news, huh?” He dipped his chin and winked at her.
“Very great.” She reached up to put her arms around him, and he opened his, welcoming her in.
His embrace was entirely too long, way too close, and he didn’t care. He placed his hand in the small of her back, holding her close, bent low so his mouth was by her ear.
“You smell nice,” he whispered.
She poked the back of his shoulder as she eased away.
“Are you okay?” He got the question out before she went far.
Her plastered-on smile made his protective streak rear up. “I’m great. Why?”
Refusing to look away, he waited, their gazes locked.
Sophie was the first to glance down and, with a flip of her hand, insisted she was okay. “I’m tired. That’s all.”
A load of crap. No doubt she was tired, but that wasn’t all.
Wright took another step closer, keeping his voice low. “We can talk later.”
“I don’t—” Sophie’s words got stuck in her throat as she shook her head. “I don’t need to talk. I’m fine.”
Her stubbornness was endearing at times, and often, people let her get by, insisting nothing was wrong.
Not him. Not before and definitely not now.
With a hand at his mouth, feigning an itch, he leaned closer. “Then maybe I need to talk to you. Ever thought about that?”
Her eyes widened. “Yeah, I . . . of course we can talk.”
As the words left her mouth, the lights around them began to twinkle.
At first, he thought it was some cool effect. Then he remembered the hundreds of tiny bulbs they’d finally decided upon didn’t come with a twinkling option.
“Uh-oh,” Trevor said as the lights blinked twice and went out completely.
The verandah was plunged into darkness, except for the moon and stars and three candles on the table.
“Damn.” Dev bumped into the table.
Sophie spoke up, moving past Wright in the dark. “Don’t worry, I’ve got it. I’ll get the regular lights on.”
“Won’t work if we popped the breaker,” Roark called out.
“I’ll go with her and check the panel.” Wright followed her to the French doors.
As soon as they got inside and closed the door behind them, she flipped the useless switches. “Must be the breaker.”
Sophie marched toward the kitchen to find the panel.
“Slow down for a second.”
“I have to get the lights back on outside.”
“And I want to talk to you.” He pushed open the door for her and waited as she flipped the switch for outdoor lighting back over.
“That ought to do it.” She turned to go, but there was no way in hell he was letting her go that easy.
“Wait.” Wright reached for her, taking her wrist and turning her around.
“What? We have to get back.” Her expression was nothing short of terrified.
“What is going on with you? Talk to me. You look scared to death right now, same as last night. This is supposed to be a happy occasion.”
“I know that,” she snapped. “It is a happy occasion.”
“But you look so upset.”
“I am!”
He took a step back at her vehemence. “Why?”
Dev was engaged; she and Wright were essentially a couple, if in secret; Honeywilde was doing well, he hadn’t told her about his opportunities to work elsewhere—what was there to be upset about?
“Because everything is going well. Everything is so great, it’s almost perfect. Too perfect.”
With a slow, steady breath, he tried to comprehend. This was Sophie. She might be given to emotion and sensitivity, but she wasn’t irrational. Somehow, this made sense to her. Though he couldn’t figure out how.
“I’m . . . I don’t follow.”
She ran her fingers through her hair, tugging all of it back. “I know. Because it doesn’t make sense.” With a sigh, she turned away, pacing the length of the prep table.
She kept walking, back and forth.
“Hey. Stop for a sec.” When she paced by him the second time, he caught her, holding her arms, waiting for her to look at him. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on up there.”
Slowly, she met his gaze. “You don’t want to know.”
He smoothed his hands down her arms, taking her hands in his. “Yes, I do. Normally, I can take a decent guess, but I’d rather you tell me. Come on, Soph. It’s me. You can tell me.”
* * *
She stared into his honey-brown eyes.
This was Wright. If there was anyone she could tell, it was him. He might think she was crazy, but he wouldn’t judge her for it.
“I’m scared because things are going too well.”
He nodded, encouraging her to continue.
“And—this is going to sound nuts, Wright.”
“That’s okay, say it anyway.”
“Things are going really well and . . . as much as I want them to, as much as I’ve wanted this family to be happy and content, no longer fighting and all of us together again, being with you, having that as reality—having happiness and good things in my life—it scares me to death.”
Wright wrinkled his brow, his lips pinched together.
She didn’t blame him for looking confused. “I told you this was going to sound crazy.”
“No,” he quickly replied. “I’m trying to follow.”
“I don’t know what to do when things go well.”
He gave her hands a squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything. Your family isn’t falling apart at the seams anymore. You can enjoy this.”
“No, I can’t. That’s the problem. You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.”
Her gaze drifted away as she shifted on her feet. “I’m afraid to be happy. I can’t let myself get used to it because as soon as I let my guard down, that’s when I lose people. There’s never really been a time when this family wasn’t in crisis or recovery mode. And the few times, the one, maybe two times things went well, the next thing I knew, it all came crashing down.”
Sophie pulled her hands away, flinging her arms out wide. “I don’t know how to enjoy this. Any of this—not for more than a few days—because I’m too busy waiting for it to fall apart. And that’s nuts, I know, but all I’ve ever known is trying to keep this family together. My whole life. From the day I moved into Honeywilde, my parents were dead and my new family was always moments away from crumbling. Then it did. Sue Bradley walked out and then Robert finally did.”
She would never forget the look on Roark’s face when Suzanne Bradley said she was leaving.
They weren’t exactly kids anymore, but it didn’t matter. Their parents were divorcing, and their family was finally breaking up.
The only parents she really remembered, and Sophie was losing them too.
Days before, Sophie had thought they had turned a corner. As a family, they were a bit happier, a little calmer. Dev hadn’t been in trouble for weeks. There’d been no huge argument. Nothing was broken in anger for almost a month. They finally had peace.
And then, I can’t do this anymore. Your father and I are separating. You’ll stay here with him.
“All I’ve ever known is struggling to keep this family together.” Sophie swiped at her eyes. “And I know, if things calm down, when things are going great, if I get used to it, if I take happiness for granted, if I take my eye off the ball, everything will go to hell again.”
The corner of Wright’s lips pulled down, something too close
to pity in his gaze. “And you think it’s your fault.”
She couldn’t stand for him to see her, so she looked away. “Whenever things go well, while everyone else is busy celebrating, I’m waiting for the bottom to fall out. It happens every time. Not once has any happiness ever lasted, Wright. Not once.”
“Soph—”
“No. I know this for a fact. Did you know, the night my parents died, we’d spent the whole day together? It had to be one of the best days ever. Did you know that?”
“No.” His voice was quiet.
“I was so little and I don’t remember much. But I know we’d gone up on the parkway to go hiking. Me and this ridiculous teddy bear backpack, because I probably insisted on having my own. There’s a picture I keep by my bed, of me and my parents, on the trail. Sun on our faces, not a cloud in the sky. We looked so happy. That night, we went out for pizza. Fourth of July, right? Gotta celebrate.”
When she finally looked at him, Wright’s lips were pinched into a thin line. He knew how this story ended. Everyone in Windamere knew how this story ended.
“That was probably one of the happiest days of their lives, even though it rained out the fireworks that night. I remember music in the car. I remember my parents in the front seat and I remember music.” Sophie’s voice cracked, the pain in her chest making it hard to breathe. “I can’t remember much about either one of them, but I remember the music and the rain, and being happy.”
She even remembered the song that was on the radio. Now she couldn’t bear to hear it. That song made her a child again, alone and scared.
The aching inside spread, tears stinging her eyes. Not tears of sadness. She was angry. Angry at them for dying, and angry at herself because it still hurt so much. Over twenty years later, why did it hurt so much?
Wright reached for her, his face blurring in her tears.
Sophie stepped away. “I was happy and then there were screeching brakes. That’s all I remember about that night.”
His face crumpled with hers.
“Why? Why, Wright? We were so happy.”
He reached for her again, and she was too tired to reject his comfort.
Her tears piled up and spilled over, trickling down her cheeks. “Why couldn’t they just be happy and be okay?” Her question melted into a plea. “Why did they have to die?”
A Taste of Temptation Page 17