by Gene Wolfe
35
TWO
ATER AND I came to the river. He was no longer afraid, but thought only of mares and of fighting the stallions who held them, of coupling with them, and of protecting them and the foals they would bear. It cannot be right for a man to know every thought of the horse he straddles, yet I knew his.
While I was polishing my shield last night, I remembered a white stallion-the armor I wore, and the lions that roared on either side as I spurred toward my enemy. But most of all the stallion, the swift white stallion of the sun. How fine he was! How strong and beautiful and brave! I did not keep him, and I resolved that I would not keep Ater.
When we reached the river, I dismounted, took away his bridle, and threw it into the water. "You have repaid me for saving you from the lions," I told him. (I had read of it here.) "We're quit, and I will not keep you as a slave. Go in peace."
He watched me with one eye, afraid to believe in freedom.
"Go! Good luck to you!" I slapped his flank. "Find her!"
He trotted for a hundred paces or so before he turned to look back at me. Are we enemies, Latro?
"No!" I shouted. "Friends! Friends forever!"
He stared for a moment, again through the left eye, turned, and trotted away.
A boatman who had been watching me said, "You must be mad to free that animal. I'm going to catch it."
"I am." The point of my spear stopped him before he had taken a step. "Mad indeed! My whole family will tell you when you meet them in the Deadland." Leaning toward him I whispered, "I killed them. Killed them all. My wife. Our children. My own parents, her parents, and our children's parents. All dead! Dead! But I've forgotten it." I laughed, not to impress him but because it had struck me that it might be true. "You must row me to the city on an island. Take me this instant! A great fish means to swallow it. The crocodile told me, and I must warn the people."
I untied the painter and got into his boat. "We go. Or I go. Wouldn't this sail better if it were turned over?"
He hurried to jump in with me. "It's mine. My boat. I'd starve without it."
"Make sail," I told him. When he landed me on this island I gave him a coin, which surprised him no end.
I found a cookshop and ate, not because I was hungry but because I knew it had been long since I had eaten, and I felt weak. I ate bread hot from the pan, steaming, strengthening, and greasy, and a big bowl of fish soup that was at least tolerable. In the market I bought a few fresh dates. These left my hands sticky but were as good, I believe, as any food any man has ever put into his mouth.
When I had finished the last and let a starving cur lick my hands, it occurred to me that I might go to a temple, make some small offering, and pray that I again remember as other men do. Then that I might so visit all the temples in the city, telling the priests about Falcata and asking the help of the gods in reclaiming her.
A man I spoke with recommended the Sun Temple, but it is on the mainland. I resolved to visit it when I left, and returned to the quay, eventually walking all around the island. Several people told me that a large foreign ship had passed that way three days before. One said it had docked for a time, pointing to the place. All agreed that there was no such ship in the docks now. When I inquired about a lofty building not far from the water, I was told it was the temple of Isis. I had already passed one such temple on the southern end of the island without entering, and resolved that I would not thus pass this one.
A priest waited at the entrance to collect the offerings of those who had come to petition the goddess. Watching him for a time, I observed that he accepted any offering, no matter how small.
I gave him a silver shekel, and asked the best way of gaining her gracious attention.
"Leave those weapons with me," he said, "I will watch over them and return them when you leave. Prostrate yourself before the goddess, swearing to do anything she may command, make your petition, and listen in silence, waiting for her to speak in your heart."
I thanked him and did as he suggested. The doors of the holiest place were half open, so we might glimpse the goddess within. I prostrated myself. "I am a strong man, O great Isis, well able to work and fight. I have lost my sword Falcata, which I beg you to restore to me. Any order you give me I will forget in a day or less, I know. But I will write it where I will see it again, and obey you without fail. Have I murdered my parents? My wife? Our children? I ask these things because the words came to my lips today, and I cannot remember. Grant, please, that I may remember as others do!"
She motioned to me, and I rose and entered the holiest place.
"I am the daughter of Ra," she told me, "the mother of many kings, the mistress of magic, and the friend of women." Her voice was slow and warm, the voice of a loving woman speaking to a child. Stooping, she laid her hand on my head. "I cannot heal you. Walk toward the north star until you find your sword. Turn your steps then toward the rising sun. I would teach you magic, but you would soon lose all my teaching, for you are but a broken vessel. Receive my blessing."
Her murmured blessing was spoken too quickly for me to understand it, and was perhaps in a tongue I do not have. Yet it filled me with warmth and light.
"Look behind you," she said, "and you will see a big man in a dirty tunic, prostrate on my floor. You must return to him."
I was leaving the holiest place when her voice stopped me. "I found no blood guilt in you," she called after me. "You have murdered no one."
When I reclaimed my spear, my shield, and my "lost temple" club, I spoke of Falcata with the priest. He had never seen such a sword. The swords of this land are long and straight, two-edged. I saw such swords in the market.
Now I sit upon a floating pier to write, wetting my pen in the river. I WAS A slave once in this temple. The priest Kashta tells me this. "You were our watchman," he said, "and we haven't had such a good watchman since. Directed by the god, we gave you and your wife to a king from the south."
I said that I would make an offering to the god-he is the God of the south-if he would help me remember.
Holy Kashta shook his head. "We were blessed with rich gifts for you. I won't tax that burse you wear. Your means must be slender."
I protested, but he interrupted me. "You served Seth faithfully while you were here. If he will not oblige you for your service, he will not oblige you for a coin. Come in and make your petition."
He let me keep my weapons. When I had offered my prayer, he asked where I would sleep that night.
"I haven't found a place yet," I said, "but there must be those in this city who'll rent a bed to an honest man."
"You will be robbed. Sleep here. We will make a bed for you in the alcove. Six laymen are coming to guard the temple tonight. I'll tell them about you, and suggest they wake you if they need another man."
I write in this temple by the last light of the declining sun. THIS MORNING I talked to the leader of the men who guarded the temple. "No trouble," he said. "None at all. They know we're here. Did the woman wake you?"
No one had awakened me and I said so.
"She was looking for her husband. In a temple! At night! Drunk, if you ask me, and she must beat that little maid of hers unmercifully. But the thing is, a dog ran in when I opened the door for her. The priests won't like that, so we've got to find him and give him the boot before they get here. Will you help us?"
I said I would, but when we found him, he was hiding under a big table on which royal gifts were displayed. One man crawled under it to lay hold of him, but he came out quickly to beg a rag for his bleeding hand.
"We'll have to kill him," the one who had spoken to me said. "It'll be a mess."
Already, street vendors were crying their wares outside the temple. I told him he knew nothing of dogs, cautioned him to wait, and for one copper got ground meat of who knows what kind rolled in a broad green leaf. By offering it to the dog and speaking kindly to him, I had him in less time than it has taken me to write of it.
My difficulty i
s that this dog followed me when I left Set's temple, swam after the boat I hired, and followed me again when I left the temple of the sun.
He is with me still. He obeys at times, but will not obey when I order him to leave. Am I to stone a dog who loves me? This afternoon I was able to spear fish enough to feed us both, but what am I to do with a dog? CAUTUS'S BARKING WOKE me. The women wish me to read this when day returns; but I will write now as the baboon directs, though I know the beautiful one waits for my embrace. There is but a small strip of papyrus left to fill.
"They said you were on the ship, all of them, even Neht-nefret. But you weren't! You weren't! Qanju didn't want us to go, but Mtoto and I stole away the next night and went back to Naqa to find you. I'm your wife, Latro. You're my husband. I've been asking about your sword wherever it was safe to talk to people. I didn't find it, but I'll help you look for it for as long as you want to search. Only… Only you must never leave me again."
Tomorrow we two (we four) will go in search of Falcata-the scarred child, Cautus, the beautiful woman, and I.
I think her dishonest, but she is young and willing, and who is not? [THESE ARE THE final words on the scroll from Lake Nasser.]
GLOSSARY
THE PRINCIPAL PROPER names in the third scroll are identified here. A few whose identity should be obvious have been omitted. I have ventured to translate a few names that the reader is unlikely to translate for himself; all such translations are merely tentative. A few other terms that may pose difficulties are defined.
Aahmes. The leader of the Egyptian soldiers aboard the Gades.
Abu. At the time of this scroll, the southernmost city in Egypt.
Achaemenes. The satrap of Egypt. His Persian name was Hakhdmanish "Friend."
Agathocles. "Of Good Fame." A trader from Athens.
Ahura Mazda. In ancient Persia, the god of good.
Alala. Thotmaktef's wife.
Amamu. One of the Egyptian soldiers on the Gades.
Ammut. The Eater of the Dead.
Angra Manyu. In ancient Persia, the god of evil. ankh. A cross with a loop top, the hieroglyph for life. Gods are often shown holding an ankh, their fingers through the loop. The crux ansata.
Anubis. The jackal-headed god of death.
Apedemak. The lion-headed war god of Nubia.
Ap-uat. The wolf-headed war god of Egypt, often difficult to distinguish from Anubis in art. (When "Anubis" holds a weapon, Ap-uat is intended.) Also called Wepwawet "Opener of the Way."
Arensnuphis. Called Onuris in Egypt. He was the god of hunting and a protector of travelers.
Asyut. A city roughly midway between the sea and the first cataract.
Ater. The stallion given the narrator by the Medjay.
Azibaal. The first mate of the Gades.
Baginu. Probably "Fortunate." The leader of the Persian soldiers aboard the Gades.
Beteshu. A demon.
Binti. "Daughter." The girl the narrator inherits when his carelessness results in her father's death. Cheche's daughter.
Bittusilma. "House of Perfection." Seven Lions' queen, a Babylonian.
Black Land. The fertile land of the Nile Valley, Egypt.
Byblos. A Phoenician city, the home port of the Gades.
Cautus. "Watchful." A stray dog. This name may be a pun on canis, "dog."
Charthi. A wealthy and aristocratic Egyptian, the father of Kames.
Cheche. "Small One." A woman of Nysa who becomes a new wife of the narrator's.
Crimson Men. Phoenicians, from the color of their clothing. daric. A gold coin of ancient Persia, on which King Darius appeared bow in hand. This coin was vulgarly called an archer.
Dis. The Roman King of the Dead. As lord of the underground realm he was immensely rich, since all unmined metals and gems were his. He symbolized the benevolent aspect of death, as opposed to Orcus, the demon-god of violent death.
Egypt. At the time of the scroll, a province of the Persian Empire. Visualize a flower with one leaf (the Faiyum) and a long, straggling stem. The blossom is the delta, and the stem is the Nile Valley. The stem ends at the first cataract.
Falcata. The narrator's sword. Much used in the ancient world, falcatas varied in size between hunting knives and full-fledged swords. Blades were wide and slightly curved, sharp on the concave side. They may have originated in Iberia.
Field of Reeds. The dwelling-place of the blessed dead. Paradise. firman. A letter or document entitling the bearer to protection or stated privileges.
Gades. The Phoenician trading vessel that brought the narrator to Egypt.
Great King. We know him as Xerxes. His name was actually Khshayarsha, "King."
Great River. The Nile; it stretches more than four thousand miles from Central Africa to the Mediterranean Sea, is the longest river on earth, and is the only major river to flow north.
Hathor. The goddess of joy, perfumes, cows, and much else, she was one of the kindest and most important Egyptian deities.
Hemuset. The goddess of fate. She was one of several invisible presences who attended the birth of an Egyptian child.
Horus. The hawk-headed pilot of the Sun Boat. He was the son of Osiris and Isis, the god of the day sky and of light, and a brave and chivalrous fighter for good.
House of Life. There is no modern equivalent for this term. Houses of Life were attached to temples. (A Pharaonic palace was a temple as well as a residence.) A House of Life might be a school, a college, a library, a hospital, or a combination of these.
Isis. The most important Egyptian goddess, whose cult soon spread to Nubia. When she was held captive following the murder of her husband, Osiris, Thoth helped her escape. She was the mother of Horus and commanded seven magical scorpions. She was also called Ast and Eset.
Kakia. One of the narrator's Persian soldiers.
Kames. A young Egyptian of good family.
Kashta. A Nubian priest of Set.
Kemet. Literally, "Black"-the Egyptians' name for their country.
Kush. The Nile Valley south of the third cataract and north of the confluence of the White and Blue Niles. The Nubian kings had originally been kings of Kush.
Latro. It seems clear that the narrator bore one name among the Egyptians and another among the Phoenician crew of the Gades, while his Persian soldiers and Median commander employed a third. For the most part, he represents all three by "L"; I have used Latro, Lewqys, and Lucius respectively.
Luhitu. This appears to be the Phoenician name for the narrator's nation or area.
Magi. One of the six Median tribes. Our word magic is derived from the name of this tribe.
Medjay. Nomads who roved the eastern and western edges of Kush and Wawat. The Lion People.
Mehit. One of several lion-headed goddesses, she seems to have been the actual lion goddess, as opposed to the better-known Sekhmet, who was fundamentally a war goddess. Note that Mehit was the wife of a hunting god, and that tame lions were used in the hunt.
Mennufer. The city the narrator designates by this name is certainly Memphis, a metropolis south of the delta. It was the capital of Egypt under the Persians.
Meroe. A principal city of southern Nubia (Kush).
Mfalme. That is, "king." Seven Lions.
Miam. A city of Wawat founded by Egyptians.
Mtoto. Probably "Child." The demon-scarred girl who becomes Myt-ser'eu's maidservant.
Muslak. The captain of the Gades.
Myt-ser'eu. "Kitten." The singing girl employed by the narrator.
Mzee. Probably "Elder." The man who guided Seven Lions' party.
Nehasyu. The dominant tribe in Nubia, whom the narrator often calls the Crocodile People.
Nasakhma. A young Nubian of royal blood.
Neht-nefret. "Tall Sycamore." The singing girl employed by Muslak.
Nekhen. One of the centers of the cult of Horus.
Nine Bows. Egypt's foreign enemies, a traditional phrase.
Nubia. Egypt's principal rival in Africa. At the time
of the scroll, Nubia appears to have extended from the first cataract to the sixth. Earlier, its northern border had been at the third, and its rule had extended south into the valley of the Blue Nile.
Nysa. The original Nysa is said to have been a man killed by Dionysus. Some authorities list ten places in Europe, Asia, and Africa called Nysa. See the Foreword.
Osiris. One of the most important Egyptian gods. He was the god of resurrection and the patron of the dead. Isis was his wife, Set his wicked brother. The popular faith of Egypt hinged upon the cult of Osiris.
Parsa. Persia, or the Persian Empire.
Piy. The supervisor at a Nubian gold mine.
Pre. One of the divisions of the Nile, which split as it flowed through the delta.
Punt. A remote part of Africa, probably the coast of Somalia.
Qanju. A Mede dispatched by Prince Achaemenes to explore the Nile south of Egypt.
Ra. One of the most important Egyptian gods, the god of the sun and commander of the sun boat. Each pharaoh was fathered by Ra. He was also called Re and Phra.
Ra'hotep. "Ra Is Content." An Egyptian physician.
Red God. Set, q.v.
Red Land. The desert east and west of Egypt.
Riverland. Egypt. Our word comes from the Latin name for this country, which was taken from Greek; the Greek word originally designated the Nile, not the nation.
Sabra. The wax woman animated by Sahuset and the narrator. sagan. The lieutenant of a governor.
Sahuset. A magician of Mennufer.
Sais. A major city of the delta. satrap. The governor of a province of the Persian Empire. scarab. A sacred beetle. An amulet in the shape of this beetle; these were used as seals.
Seven Lions. A king of Nysa.
Sesostris. A pharaoh of the Twelfth Dynasty, better known as Senusret.
Set. Osiris's brother, the god of the south and the desert. Also Seth, Sethi, Sit, et cetera.