He looks at me with stunned eyes as I wrap my coat around me and start toward the steps. Ha, that’ll show him. Bet no one’s done that to him before. There is nothing sycophantic about me, Mr. White. “And if you’re going to play poker with me, Alex, make sure your tell doesn’t give you away,” I continue, waving erratically towards his hand on his neck. “Do you even realise you give away so much with such a small gesture? Your reflex to your neck is always there at moments of discomfort. Why is that? You’re not quite the hidden man you think you are, Alexander White. Not to me, anyway.”
Sweeping down the stairs in what I hope is a dramatic exit, I see the car door open and Andrews reach the bottom of the stairs to help me off. I turn to see a very brooding and furious looking Alex still standing at the top of the stairs, and oh good lord, he’s beautiful. His hair is being whipped around in the wind and those cold blue eyes seem to pierce me somehow, even from this distance. His hands are firmly planted in the pockets of his grey suit and he has the stance of a man with nothing but contempt for the world oozing from his demeanour. He’s glorious, stunning and shit, what the hell have I done?
My feet itch to run back up the steps and tell him it doesn’t matter, that I’ll take whatever he’s willing to give me. My heart longs for him to make his way to me and apologize for his behaviour, but I know he won’t so I watch as he gives a head flick to Andrews, probably indicating that he’s to take me home. I send him a sad smile, which he doesn’t return and turn for the car again. I can’t let him win this part of his game because there’s no way forward if he doesn’t let me all the way in.
“Are you ready, Miss Scott?” Andrews asks.
“Yes, Andrews, thank you.”
He closes the door behind me and I tuck my legs beneath me on the seat, suddenly feeling incredibly tired and monumentally alone. What on earth have I done? I’ve lost him before we got anywhere and I’ve done it myself. I rub at my bracelet and watch the diamonds twinkling up at me, just like his eyes, beautiful and full of hidden depths.
Putting my head in my hands, I feel the tears well up in my eyes and before I know it, I’m sobbing uncontrollably, great heaving sobs of loss for something I’d barely found. What a mess.
~
The journey back to the apartment is over in a flash because the first thing I feel is someone gently shaking my shoulders to wake me up. I open my eyes to find Andrews sitting down next to me in the back of the car.
“Oh god, Andrews, I’m sorry. I must have drifted off,” I say, sitting up and wiping at my eyes. He smiles and takes of his chauffeur’s hat. It really is a lovely smile; he should do it more often.
“May I say something, Miss Scott?” he asks quietly.
“Yes, of course,” I reply. He sighs so I tilt my head in interest.
“I know he’s a complicated man and can be difficult to understand, but I’ve never seen him smile as much as he does when he’s with you.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you... I think,” I say in response. Awkward much.
“Look, I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but he is liable to fuck it up if you don’t give him some time to come to terms with the thought of falling in love,” he says quietly, looking out of the window. I’ve watched the women pass through his life with no effect on him whatsoever and now that you’ve arrived, you’ve turned his world upside down.”
Well that’s insightful, possibly useful. I hadn’t really thought about it like that.
“Andrews, I’ve never heard more than four words from your mouth. I’m happy to listen, although I hope the car’s not bugged or something,” I reply, giggling at the thought.
“No, I’ve turned it off. I would likely be sacked if he heard of this.” A bugged car? Really? I giggle a little and look back at him, wondering what it is that either of us are allowed to say.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” I reply with a smile, resting my hand on his arm. “Thank you for the ride home, and the information.”
“You’re most welcome, ma’am,” he says as he gets out of the car, puts his hat back on and unloads my suitcase. “Do you want me to take it up for you?”
“No, thank you. I’ll be fine. Andrews, can you do me a favour though?”
“Yes, anything ma’am.”
“Can you tell him that I miss him?” I say, not really understanding why I’ve just asked the chauffeur to say that sort of thing but feeling some sort of new friendly connection with him regardless.
“Of course ma’am,” he replies, returning to his normal demeanour of stilted and poised now we’ve ventured out onto the road. “Goodbye. I’ll watch you into the building.”
“Goodbye, Andrews,” I say, waving and hoping to god that this won’t be the last time I see him.
~
Tuesday morning I’m woken by the sound of crashing in Belle’s bedroom. I didn’t see her the night before. We had a quick chat on the phone but she said she was out on a date and I was happy to have the place to myself so I could mull over the idiotic thing I’d done. That mulling consisted of me downing two bottles of wine and throwing my phone at the wall sometime around midnight, smashing it to smithereens. I looked longingly at the phone all evening as I watched crappy television and hoped he would call to talk, or text, anything to let me know he cared, but no, nothing, nada. Bastard.
The last thing I remember was falling into my bed, fully clothed. And that is where I stayed because now I am still fully clothed on top of my bed, staring at a half glass of stale wine.
“Belle, are you okay?” I shout, heaving my nauseated body off the bed.
“Yep, just throwing out some rubbish,” she responds, chuckling.
I walk toward the door to see a rather sheepish and dishevelled looking Conner grinning like a lovestruck puppy and disappearing through the kitchen, shirtless.
“Morning, Conner,” I yell after him.
“Late. Bye, Beth,” I hear as the door slams behind him. I poke my head around the corner to see an equally lovestruck Belle sitting in bed, drinking a cup of tea and smiling.
“Going well then?” I ask, inclining my head toward the kitchen.
“Super, thanks. You look like fucking shit,” she replies. Thanks. “Go get a cup of tea and tell me about your trip. I want all the details.” I huff and wander off to the kitchen. “But I’d shower your sorry little backside first. You stink,” she shouts after me. Thanks.
Ten minutes later, after a shower and some much needed caffeine, we are sitting in the lounge while I relay all the gory details of the trip - well, apart from the whipping bit, I’m not entirely sure my sister needs to know about all that. Thankfully though, we don’t need to be in until lunchtime as Teresa is opening up and dealing with the deliveries, so at least we can catch up and put the world to rights to some degree.
“So you basically told him to get a life, find a brain and grow a pair,” she states after the hour of my whining is completed.
“Yes, I suppose when you put it like that, I did,” I reply with a smile, suddenly feeling a little happier about my reasoning.
“Well good for you. They’re all fucking children. Honestly, sense does not appear to come with money at all,” she says, stirring her fourth coffee of the morning, “How the hell they make it in the first place is a complete mystery to me.”
“You and Conner seem good though,” I say, grinning at her.
“That’s because I’m not stupid enough to let myself become emotionally attached to him,” she replies sarcastically, reaching for the biscuit tin. She’s probably right.
“Belle, I think he really does like you. He was very complimentary in Rome. He didn’t need to say the things he said about you, and honestly, if I thought Alex was saying those sorts of things about me, I’d be very emotionally attached.” She narrows her eyes and turns back to me.
“Why, what did he say about me?” Ah, that got her attention - not quite so emotionally unattached then.
Two hours later, we walk through the door to a
beaming but slightly harassed Teresa.
Delivery stock litters the back room and Belle and I set to work unwrapping and shelving all the new produce. It’s good to be back in my kitchen. Rome seems like a lifetime away and for a short while, I find myself not thinking of Alex at all. Actually, time seems to fly by as the phones ring, customers walk in to purchase treats and I get on with doing what I do best.
I bake the day away, pulling inspiration from the goodies I discovered in Rome and creating a whole new batch of sweets and cakes. In fact, I astound myself and finally decide to sit down on the shop counter for a well-earned cup of coffee and chat with Teresa. It’s about four o’clock and we’re just about to clear the shelves of the remaining stock anyway so it’s as good a time as any. We’re not ten minutes into our conversation when the door opens and an entire florist shop’s worth of flowers is carried in through the door. Men and women simply arrange the vases and bouquets around the shop like true professionals as Teresa and I stare with open mouths. All the colours of the rainbow are scattered around the floors and surfaces as the scent fills the air with summer, just about drowning out the smell of our cakes.
“Miss Elizabeth Scott?” a small and rather portly man asks as he looks at the two of us. I jump down from the counter and approach him. “I have been asked to give you this and these,” he says as he hands over a small envelope and waves his hand around. “You must have done something rather wonderful. He bought my entire shop’s worth.”
“Uh... Thank you,” I reply, slightly taken aback. With a small salute, he leaves and takes his team with him. Belle emerges from the back and frowns instantly.
“Oh for fuck’s sake, does he think he can buy his way out of it?” she shouts. “When will they ever bloody learn? Why you are even entertaining opening that note is beyond me.”
I take the note out of the envelope and scan the paper with trembling fingers.
I need to show you something. Please let me. I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear jeans and something warm. You were right, you deserve better from me.
Ax
“What does he want now? Is this his way of fucking expressing himself?” Belle asks incredulously as she breaks off the head of a rose and chucks it in the bin.
“He wants to show me something,” I reply, looking up at both of them.
“Well, you should go,” Teresa says, sniffing her way around the flowers and singing softly to herself.
I look at Belle for her answer but she simply shrugs her shoulders and leaves the room.
“Belle, wait, I need to know what you think I should do,” I say, running after her and reaching for her arm.
“No you don’t, honey. I wouldn’t do what you’d do. You’re your own woman and you’ve landed a sodding difficult man. A beautiful one, yes, even I’ll admit that, but a fucking bastard nonetheless. Only you know how to deal with him. I just want to see you happy,”she replies with a tight smile. “If going with him makes you happy, then go.” She clearly thinks I’m ridiculous. Maybe I am, but I can’t stop the need to get to him.
“I love you, Belle. Please don’t be disappointed in me.”
“I could never be disappointed, honey, and I love you, too. Just don’t bring him to the apartment until he’s grown a pair. Maybe he just has, you never know,” she says with a small chuckle.
“I need to go if I’m going to make it in time,” I say, looking at my watch.
“Then go. We’ll sort this shit out,” they both say in unison.
“And don’t take his shit anymore. Keep strong,” Teresa says. Bless her.
I grin at them both like an idiot, grab my bag and exit the shop at breakneck speed in the hope of reaching the tube on time to make it home by six. I desperately need to sort myself out if I’m going to see him, and having smashed my phone up, I have no chance of calling him to let him know I’ll be late.
Luckily, everything seems to be on my side for the journey home and I arrive at my apartment by six fifteen to find yet another enormous bunch of flowers outside the door - pale purple roses and another card. Picking them up, I walk inside and put them in the middle of the table while opening up the note.
I miss you too
Ax
Throwing my bag on the counter, I smile stupidly at the note and dart for the shower to clean off the day’s flour and stickiness. I don’t have time to wash my hair so end up with a French plait that’s tucked up and pinned with a few grips. I apply some make-up and lip-gloss and reach for the wardrobe. He said jeans so I pull a pair of comfortable black skinnys out and team it with a light blue, thick jumper that I’ve only worn a few times. It’s lovely but just too warm for everyday wear, more useful for mountains, and given the time of year and our night time outing, hopefully it should do the job. Walking through to the lounge, I’m pleased to notice that it’s only six forty five, so I boil the kettle and pour myself a cup of coffee as I wait for whatever’s coming.
Standing against the counter and blowing the hot drink, I give myself a few moments to think about what he wants to show me. What the hell would he want to show me? Talk to me, yes I can understand that, but show me? Andrew’s words float through my mind. “He’s liable to fuck it up if you don’t give him time to come to terms with the thought of falling in love.” Is that what this is all about? Has twenty-four hours given him some time to process things in his own mind? Well at least he’s contacted me, at least he wants to try and sort this out. How he’s going to do it, I have no idea about.
Three sharp knocks at the door bring me back from my dreamy little moment as I literally throw my coffee over the floor at the realisation that he’s here, ten steps away from me, behind the door. The second I think it, my heart rate speeds up again and the tell-tale spike in breathing hits me. For God’s sake, I can’t even see him and I’m horny. No, Beth, stick to your guns. Be strong.
I walk to the door and open it, then almost fall over at the sight. A devastatingly gorgeous looking Alex stands in the doorway clad in black leather. He’s head to toe in bike leathers with his black hair spiking out in that artfully dishevelled manner, filling the sodding doorway and looking at me as if he might jump on me at any moment. I’m entirely lost. My mouth is open and dry and I’m panting like a wanton hussy. It causes me to inwardly curse my treacherous body for overruling my head, but the man just shouldn’t be allowed out in public. His cool blue eyes narrow at me as that wicked smile curves his mouth upward. The bastard knows exactly the effect he has on me and is most definitely about to use it.
I retreat a step in the hope that I can control the situation. I’m obviously very wrong. He takes two steps forward and before I know it, I’m pinned against the counter top in the kitchen and being lifted up onto it. His hands are everywhere as his mouth crashes into mine with a groan of desire or frustration. I’m not sure which.
“God, I’ve missed you. You have no fucking idea,” he growls, running his hands up my back and pulling me into him as he pushes my jumper up. His mouth’s devouring my neck before I know what’s happening, his hips pushing into my groin with deadly intent. The feeling of his cold leathers against my skin sends shivers of craving through me and I absolutely know if I don’t stop it now, I never will.
“Alex... Oh god, you have to stop,” I eventually say, trying and failing miserably to push him away because of my own lack of bloody enthusiasm.
“No, I want you. I fucking need you. Let me have you,” he replies, grabbing me more forcefully and pushing me down onto my back with his weight. His mouth lowers to my exposed stomach and he begins licking his way down to the button on my jeans, which causes me to groan because god, he feels so good on me. Then he gets the button in his teeth and starts to tug violently on it. My core tightens in response as his hands find their way to my breasts and he pinches me. My mouth instantly salivates at the thought of sex and then I remember what I’m trying to achieve.
Get some bloody control of yourself, Beth!
“No, you have to stop,” I
say, grabbing hold of his hair and giving it a sharp jerk with both hands so he looks up at me. Those glorious dark eyes gradually rise up to meet mine with no sense of shame or slowing down. He just licks his perfect lips and runs his tongue over me again. I almost immediately change my mind and let him have his way. My panting is utterly ridiculous. It’s so unfair but as he pulls me tighter against him and moves his hands between my legs, I somehow summon enough resolve to try my only other option.
“Chess.”
His body instantly stills. Everything stills, and then his hands retreat as his eyes soften a little. It’s not much but at least I’ve got his attention. He gazes at me for a few moments then stands and moves back away from me, holding out his hand to help me back to the floor. Okay, it’s good to know this safeword thing works then.
“Spoilsport,” he says, smirking at me. I quirk an eyebrow at him. “Okay, okay.” He turns and holds up his hands as he heads back for the door, which is still open.
What? Is he leaving? No, that’s not what I meant. Panic sets in. Shit.
“No, I didn’t mean you had to go,” I almost shout after him.
“I should hope not. I know I’ve been an arse but I hope I at least get another chance to redeem myself,” he replies as he leans down, picks up a bag and shuts the door. I sigh in relief and then look at the bag quizzically as he places it on the counter top. “You’ll need to put these on,” he says as he removes a set of bike leathers and boots.
“Excuse me? You think I’m going to get on a bike with you. I’ve never been on one in my life,” I reply in astonishment. My dad may love the things but that feeling does not run in the family in the slightest. He studies me for a moment and then exhales a rough breath while rubbing his hand through his hair in irritation.
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