Emma patted her shoulder before pulling her in for a tight hug. “It’s okay.”
Giving a small smile, Suzanne was just getting ready to turn away when Lily came over to her. Besides Annie, Lily was her closest friend.
“Sweetie, come with me,” Lily said as she linked her arms through Suzanne’s.
“He’s here, right? Oh Lily, you know I hate this.”
“Come on. It’s just an introduction. All the guys at Tony’s really like him and you know how much he helped me last year.” Lily had stumbled across a prescription fraud scheme and BJ had helped her with the software codes that contained the evidence they were looking for.
Suzanne allowed Lily to tug her through the crowded reception hall then heard her name called. She turned around to see Leon waving at her from across the room. He worked as a vet tech with Annie as well and was there with his wife. Behind her she could hear Lily say, “BJ, I’d like you to meet…”
Suzanne turned around and stared into the eyes of the man she had been avoiding for four years. Gasping, she saw his eyes widen.
“BJ?”
“Suzy?”
Oh no, not him. Not now. Opening her mouth like a fish, she found that nothing came out. Just as he looked like he was going to say something, she quickly turned. “I have to get out of here,” she said, pushing her way through the crowd. Making her way out of the reception hall, she ran into Annie and Shane. Giving them fast hugs and congratulations she explained that she was getting a migraine and had to cut the reception short.
“Oh honey, you’re going to miss the bouquet toss,” Annie said.
With tears in her eyes, Suzanne just shrugged. “I need to go, but please don’t worry about me. Just enjoy your honeymoon. It’ll be nice to have a few days off anyway.”
With a last hug, she hurried out of the hall towards her car.
* * *
Lily looked at the retreating back of her best friend before turning around to BJ, who she noted was watching Suzanne as well.
“BJ? Why did she call you Brad?”
“Bradley James Evans. BJ was a college nickname and it just stuck.” Looking down at Lily’s concerned face, he gave her a hug. “It’s not your fault she left. We have a…history. It goes back to high school.”
Standing there for a moment as the rush of emotions washed over him, he remembered the last time she ran away. Anger replaced the surprise as he thought about his Suzy. His Suzy? I wish. She hasn’t been my Suzy for years. Taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly, his determination settled in.
“Goddammit. I let her walk away once before. Not again.” Kissing Lily on the head, he turned and walked back out of the reception hall.
Matt came up to Lily, seeing from across the room that she was upset. She quickly told him what had happened. Pulling her into his embrace, he said, “Babe, nothing you can do about it now. They’re not teens anymore. They gotta figure out what they want to do.” Tugging her back to the dance floor, he began to twirl her gently.
She couldn’t help but stare at the door her friends had disappeared through.
* * *
Suzanne barely made it to the parking lot before the tears began. Stumbling as she wove amongst the cars she didn’t care if it looked as though she were drunk. By the time she found her car she stood next to it with her hands on the top of the door, her head hanging down as she choked on the sobs.
Hearing footsteps behind her, she didn’t turn around. She knew who it was. She could feel him. This is why I haven’t gone back to my hometown when I knew he was there.
“Suzy?” he called softly.
Shaking her head, she pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to stop the trembling. “Don’t,” she croaked. Clearing her throat, she whispered, “Don’t call me that. I’m not Suzy anymore. I haven’t been for a long time.”
With that, she jerked open her car door and quickly got in. Starting her engine, she was about to pull out when he was suddenly right by her window.
“Suzy, please don’t do this. Let’s talk. Please,” he begged.
She allowed herself a glance. Just a glance up at his face. Ravaged. Just like mine must look like. Holding his eyes, she mouthed, “I can’t.” Then she drove away leaving him standing there.
His eyes never left her car until it was out of sight. Moving his hand up to his chest, he absentmindedly rubbed it trying to ease the ache.
“You wanna tell us what you did that made our Suzanne cry?” came a growl from behind. Turning, he saw Gabe, Vinny, Matt and Lily standing right behind him.
With a tight jaw, he answered, “Nope. No one’s business but ours.”
Gabe took a step toward him, “Wrong answer, man.”
Lily quickly intervened, stepping in front of Gabe. “BJ, I just want to help. Is there anything I can do?”
He looked down at the pint-sized beauty strategically placed between the men. He would have laughed at her attempt to keep grown men from pummeling each other, but he knew that Matt had his cold eye on them. No one would hurt Lily, but just in case anyone was going to lose their cool, Matt would make sure Lily was safe. Both he and Gabe took a step back.
“Don’t know what to tell you. I loved her. I lost her. She won’t let me in and hasn’t for the past four years.”
“You the reason she only goes home to visit her parents sometimes?” Gabe demanded.
Sighing deeply, BJ nodded. “Yep, I guess so.” Looking over at Lily, he said, “Could you check on her? Make sure she’s all right?
“Of course, we’ll go,” Lily answered. “But I have to tell you that she’s very private. I don’t think she’ll talk to me.”
“I just want to make sure she gets home all right.”
She stepped up to him and placed her hand on his arm. “Of course. Maybe she’ll talk. But…” she said looking around at the men standing behind her. “I think you all need to take BJ out for a drink. He needs a friend too.”
Gabe nodded although he watched BJ warily. Vinny stepped in slapping BJ on the back. “Come on, guys. The bride and groom have left. Let’s go get a drink.”
BJ left with the brothers and Matt walked Lily over to his truck. She pulled out her phone and called Suzanne. The call went straight to voice mail. “Honey, I just wanted to come by and see if you are okay.”
She looked over at Matt, but her phone rang before she could figure out what to say. “Hello?”
“Hey Lily, it’s Suzanne. I got your message, but I’m really not up for company. I took something for my headache and I’m going to bed. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Well, if you’re sure,” Lily agreed. “You know you can always talk to me, don’t you?”
“I do, Lily. Thank you…for everything.”
* * *
Hanging up, Suzanne made her way up the stairs to her tiny apartment, barely one foot in front of the other, until she made it through her front door. Locking up behind her, she stood with her back to the door, surveying the room. A new sofa and television graced the living area to the right, surrounding a throw rug that pulled the colors of the walls together. The distressed wooden table and chairs sat in the dining nook next to the kitchen.
Walking over to the wall where she had a couple of family pictures, she stared at one in particular. It was taken at one of her family’s huge Thanksgiving celebration with friends. There she was with her parents, her brother Rob, and in the background, just in the left corner of the photo, was BJ. She tried to reconcile the boy she had loved with the man she saw today. He was taller. Definitely broader. And if possible, much more handsome. The cute boy had become a gorgeous man.
But the love by a girl that was once there was gone. At least she tried to tell herself that.
Moving away from the visual memories, she walked to the tiny bedroom kicking off her shoes. Stripping out the bridesmaid dress, she turned on the water in the shower allowing it a few minutes to get warm. Looking at herself in the mirror, she stared at the reflection. Long,
silky, black hair flowed down across her shoulders. Clear skin. Nice curves. Blue eyes, belying her Irish heritage. As she stared into her eyes, she saw the sadness. The pain. The grief.
Sighing, she entered the shower. As the hot water sluiced over her body, her hands roamed, ending on her stomach. Memories came back, flooding her mind and forcing their way to the forefront.
Growing up together, our families were good friends, and I still remember when I first fell in love with Brad. It was the summer that I was fifteen and he had been gone to football camp for most of the time. My mother ran Bernie’s Bakery and allowed me to work in the store. My cheerleader personality and smile made me the perfect waitress and tips were good. But, with my mom right there I couldn’t even flirt. And with my older brother being a firefighter and former college football player, his eyes were everywhere. No dating. But it didn’t really matter since there was no one who captured my attention.
Until he walked in. Brad Evans. Somehow over the summer during football camp he’d changed. He definitely looked at least six feet tall. And bigger. And broader. And totally gorgeous.
I remember when he first appeared in the bakery. His eyes met mine and the rest of the world fell away. He had smiled, but I couldn’t seem to catch my breath. Or smile back. So like an idiot I turned and ran into the back. When mom came to look for me, I made the excuse of not feeling well but she just smiled her knowing smile.
During the rest of the summer he’d managed to come in almost every day that I was working and when he finally asked me out, I hated having to tell him that I couldn’t date yet. Smiling down at me, he’d simply said, “Then we’ll just hang out.”
When school started, all the girls began vying for his attention, but he waited for me after class and walked me to the bakery after school. Friday night football games gave me a front row seat as I cheered and he played. Begging my parents to let us date, dad kept saying that any man worth having would wait.
The water cooled and she exited the shower, drying off with one of her soft, extra-large towels. Pulling on one of Brad’s old t-shirts that she slept in, she crawled into bed trying to force the memories from flooding back, but the dark, quiet night was perfect fodder for her overactive mind. She thought back to the first time her trust was broken.
All of the kids were able to go to the bonfire out by the river after football games. Except me. I finally thought I had convinced my parents to let me go but as soon as my brother Rob found out, he put his foot down.
“I know what goes on. Drinkin’ and makin’ out,” he stated emphatically. “The nice girls don’t go and the ones lookin’ to score are there.”
I had pleaded and pouted to no avail. So after the winning game Brad, feeling the peer pressure of celebrating with the other jocks, headed off and I went home. We’d made no promises to each other. We were officially just friends hanging out, but he’d done everything to make me feel as though I was his girlfriend.
The rumors abounded by Monday morning in school. Stacey Luckell, known for letting the boys get lucky, had been seen with Brad at the bonfire. Coming around the corner of my first period class, I saw the guys slapping him on his back and congratulating him on ‘getting Lucky’. My eyes flew to his as he turned around. The smile on his face had left immediately when he saw me and when I saw his face through my own tear filled eyes, I thought I saw regret.
I remember the pain slicing through my heart as I turned and ran down the hall, desperate to get away from the stares of everyone.
It took weeks of Brad coming around to the bakery before I would agree to see him. “Suzy, I’m so sorry, I know I fu…messed up. It’s you and only you I want. I don’t care how long we have to wait.”
“We never made any promises to each other, so it’s not like you cheated on me,” I said softly, trying to hide my hurt.
“I let them get to me…the other guys. I wasn’t man enough to not follow the crowd. But I’ve learned my lesson, Suzy. Nothing is ever worth seeing that look on your face. I wanna be the kind of man you’d be proud of. Not some dumb-ass jock that can’t stand tall and go my own way. I want to take care of you and I don’t care how long we wait.”
As he held me close, I looked up into the face that I was falling in love with, listening to his promise, “Baby, I’ll never hurt you again. Trust in that.”
Chapter 2
The men sat in the back of a small family bar, Vinny and Gabe nursing their beers and waiting for BJ to talk. Each had taken off their suit jackets and ties and had their dress shirt sleeves’ casually rolled up. The waitress couldn’t help but look…the trio sitting in front of her was every woman’s dream. All tall, all built, and all looked like they knew their way around a woman. But the owners frowned on waitresses bothering the patrons, so she just kept her eye on them, determined to keep the beer flowing.
BJ looked up at the almost identical faces in front of him trying to decide what to say. How much to say. If he should even say anything. They know her. They know what she’s been like. They know the Suzy that’s turned into Suzanne.
“You gonna finally open your mouth for something besides drinking?” Gabe asked.
BJ sat tight lipped, frustration coursing through him.
“Look man, we’re not asking for you to tell us your life’s story. Just help us understand how you fit into Suzanne’s life, ’cause that girl’s been sad since we met her.”
BJ leaned back in his chair taking a deep breath. “We grew up together in Fairfield. I was a year ahead of her in school. By the time she was fifteen, we’d started hanging out. Her parents wouldn’t let her date until she was sixteen so we just mostly hung out. Our parents were close so we were practically raised together.”
He grew quiet, tossing back more of his beer. Setting it down on the table, he glanced around seeing the stares of the other men still on him.
“What the hell, guys? What else do you want?”
Vinny piped up, “Maybe the reason why that woman has a hurt so deep it shows in her eyes every fuckin’ day.”
“Jesus,” BJ bit out. “We dated in high school and when I first went to college. Then we had some problems, which…” he paused while giving each man there a hard look, “I will not be going into. I wanted to stay together, but she didn’t. End of story.”
“Hardly,” Gabe growled.
After one more long pull on his beer, BJ slammed the bottle down on the table. “Look man,” he said as he leaned forward staring directly at Gabe, “I’d have stayed with her forever. She was it for me. Maybe that’s fucked to you, but I knew when I was sixteen years old who I wanted to be with.”
“So what happened?” Vinny asked, his voice softer.
Rubbing his hand over his face, BJ leaned back in the chair. “Some things just can’t be forgotten.” He looked off into the distance for a moment, his face ravaged. “Sometimes grief…just makes everything black.”
Pushing his chair back, he stood stretching his tall frame. Giving the men a nod, he walked to the door heading out into the night.
Vinny and Gabe finished their beers before following BJ out.
Gabe spoke first, “Lot more to them than just high school lovers.”
Vinny nodded, “Yeah, but whatever it is, they’ve got to work it out themselves.”
“I’m still keeping an eye on Suzanne.”
“I figure we’ll keep an eye on both of them.”
With that, the two brothers left the bar.
* * *
Going into his apartment, he stalked into the kitchen and snagged a bottle of water. Downing it in a couple of gulps, he tried to allow the liquid to cool his fevered mind. Ever since he had seen those blue eyes staring at his in the middle of the wedding reception he could not get her out of his thoughts. Not that she had been very far from his mind these past four years.
Suzy had just been a scrawny little girl in the neighborhood, one who’d been at all the family gatherings playing with her dolls when I was off tossing a football wi
th her older brother. But I remember her that summer she was fifteen and I returned from football camp. Me and my buds had headed into Bernie’s Bakery after practice, planning on meeting up with some girls later in the day. Bernie greeted us and as I turned around to get my drink I almost ran into…Suzy? Same dark hair, same big blue eyes…but now the whole package was a complete blossoming woman. Where did that body come from? As I was checking her out, I noticed she was drinking her fill as well. Giving her my best smile, the one that had the other girls in town hoping for a date, I was surprised when eyes-wide, she fled into the kitchen.
“Way to go Romeo,” one of my friends joked.
Staring at her retreating back, I just grinned, knowing that would not be the last of her. Weeks later, after seeing her at the bakery every day, I was disappointed when her parents wouldn’t let us date until she was sixteen, but I was ready to be patient. At least I thought I was, but being a sixteen year old thinking with his dick almost cost me everything.
That fall I royally screwed up. The bonfire out by the river was the place to go after a big game and I was disappointed when she couldn’t go, but decided to go with my buddies anyway. Several girls were there with their boyfriends and as my judgment became cloudy with beer I barely noticed Stacey Luckell coming on to me. The other guys egged me on and I didn’t want to look like a punk in front of them. She and I wandered off behind the trees where she boldly pulled her t-shirt up, showing that she wasn’t wearing a bra. My dick didn’t listen to my brain and it didn’t take long for her pants to come off and mine to go down around my ankles. I didn’t even have a condom but thankfully she pulled one out of her jeans. Losing my virginity to Lucky Luckell was not even memorable. In fact, it made me feel like shit.
But as I stumbled back to the bonfire, I was greeted with hoots and hollers about ‘getting lucky’. It was supposed to make me feel like a man, but inside all I could see was a blue-eyed, dark-haired beauty in my head.
The next Monday at school as the rumors bounced around, I saw those blue eyes staring at me. Hurt. Pain-filled. Sad. Jesus, I never wanted to see that look again.
Love's Trusting (The Love's Series) Page 2