Jaded

by Tess Thompson

  “More like she has a crush on the young Doctor Waller,” Zane said. “She was in dancing at the bar last week and her sciatica seemed fine.”

  “She’s eighty,” Maggie said. “It probably comes and goes.”

  “Her crush on Jackson?” Zane asked.

  “No, her sciatica.” Maggie flashed a wicked grin. “Crushes on Jackson never go away.”

  “Don’t turn my stomach before I have one of those sweet rolls.” Zane pulled her braid again.

  “You’re just jealous that all the old ladies love him,” Maggie said.

  “He was always popular with the mothers,” Zane said.

  “You were not,” Maggie said. “They were too busy trying to hide their daughters from you.”

  “My exploits have been exaggerated,” Zane said to Maggie. “Wasn’t Jackson on duty last weekend? Where’s Doc?”

  “He took Janet to the city for a romantic weekend,” Maggie said. In the tangled web of the Dogs—Jackson’s dad, Doc, was engaged to Janet Mullen—Brody’s mother.

  “All this love in the air is getting on my nerves,” Zane said.

  “You know the solution to that,” Maggie said.

  “She’s right,” Sophie said.

  Zane chuckled and made a scene of rolling his eyes. “It was bad enough when I had Maggie in my business. Now I’ve got both of you.”

  “We’re not the types to let something go,” Sophie said.

  “I’ve noticed that.” He sat at the table across from Maggie. “I almost don’t want to tell you where I’ve been, only because I do enjoy torturing you. But my need to share outweighs my love of making you two wait for it. I’ve been to Honor’s this morning. That’s why I smell like coffee.”

  “Did you ask her out or were you there from the night before?” Maggie asked.

  “I went there this morning,” Zane said. “For the purpose of asking her out on a real date.”

  “Did you?” Sophie bounced on her toes. “Please say you did.”

  “I did. And she said yes,” Zane said. “I’m taking her to my investor meeting tonight.”

  Sophie clapped her hands. Bits of frosting splattered over her shirt. “I’m so glad for you.”

  “Wait a minute. You asked her out for a business dinner? With other people?” Maggie stared at him. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

  “What’s wrong with it? I want her opinion and it seemed like a way to ease into the whole date thing,” Zane said.

  “You’re hopeless,” Maggie said. “You need to talk to Jackson and get some ideas about how to make a romantic gesture.”

  Zane shook his head. “I don’t want to scare her away. She’s easily spooked.”

  “You’re right to go slowly, but don’t be abstruse,” Sophie said.

  “Abstruse?” Zane asked. “I don’t even know what that means?”

  “Don’t be vague,” Maggie said. “As in, make sure she knows you like her. That’s not really your thing.”

  Zane raised his hands in defeat. “You two are killing me. Have a little faith.”

  “And don’t wear shorts,” Maggie said.

  “I’m not completely dull-witted,” Zane said. “I already asked her what to wear.”

  “You didn’t?” Sophie scrunched her face into a look of horror.

  “You asked her?” Maggie’s green eyes narrowed.

  “What?” Zane asked.

  Maggie and Sophie exchanged their sister look. “I don’t know if that makes him look vulnerable or pathetic,” Maggie said.

  “Hopefully vulnerable,” Sophie said.

  “I’m right here,” Zane said.

  Maggie pointed her pencil at him. “You take her to this dinner tonight and then do something romantic afterward. Like take her someplace nice with music and drinks. Do you understand?”

  “I’m not a complete idiot.” They obviously thought he was no more sophisticated than a child. They were probably right about everything, but still, they didn’t have to be so harsh about it. “Anything else?”

  “Wear that tie that matches your eyes,” Sophie said.

  “I don’t have a tie that matches my eyes.” He had one tie. The one he just wore to Brody’s wedding.

  “You have one now,” Sophie said. “I bought it for you last time I was in the city.”

  “Why would you do that?” he asked.

  “Mom and I saw it while we were out shopping and agreed it matched your eyes and that you must have it,” Sophie said. “We also got you a new shirt.”

  “I really don’t stand a chance, do I?”

  “Not really.” Sophie picked up a spatula. “One roll or two?”

  Zane arrived at Honor’s promptly at five that afternoon dressed in his blue suit and new tie. He liked the tie despite his intentions to the contrary. It did match his eyes. When he worked in corporate sales he hadn’t had to wear ties, only suits. If he showed up to this meeting and no one else was dressed up, he was going to throttle all the women in his life.

  He used the metal knocker on Honor’s door instead of the doorbell and heard the clacking of heels before the door opened. Steady yourself. This is the same girl you saw earlier who looked young and vulnerable wearing glasses and her face scrubbed of makeup. So much for the instruction. His knees almost buckled at the sight of her. The girl from this morning was pretty. The woman before him now looked like she was ready to take over the world. She wore an off-white sleeveless dress that hung just above her knees and strappy silver sandals. Her hair, arranged into what looked to be a complex side bun, shone like strands of gold. He had an image of a perfect white rose just before it burst into full bloom.

  “Wow. You look…I can’t even think of the right word,” he said. Don’t be abstruse. “Only because there’s not one in the English language that could describe how beautiful you look.”

  Her brown eyes shone. “It’s the dress. I saw it at fashion week in New York and had to have it. You don’t want to know how much it cost.”

  “I really don’t,” he said. “But whatever the cost, it was worth it. You look like a rose.”

  “A rose?”

  “Yeah. Pretty like a rose.” So much for abstruse. Now he sounded like he was in sixth grade.

  “I like roses.” Her sassy mouth curved into a smile. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “You look nice too. Great tie. It matches your eyes.”

  “That’s what I hear,” he said.

  She disappeared behind the door, returning with a small silver purse that matched her sandals and a gauzy white wrap. “Let’s do this.”

  He offered her his hand to escort her down the steps, unsure if she’d take it. She did. Was it his imagination or was she shaking?

  “You’re not cold, are you?” he asked.

  “Not at all.” She looked away. Avoiding his eyes. What was that about?

  He opened the passenger door of his SUV and helped her get inside. The vehicle was high when your date wore heels and still didn’t clear 5’4”. He’d noticed the night he’d brought her back from the wedding. She’d been all pliable and tipsy by the end of the night. He’d practically lifted her into the car. That was fun. His hands tingled as he remembered how it felt to have them wrapped around her hips and the way her breath had warmed his skin.

  “This driveway’s not very big,” he said as he backed up and headed down the narrow street.

  “I know. That’s why I have my little red sports car. It’s easy to drive in and out of my garage.”

  “It suits you. The car, I mean,” he said.

  “I’ve heard that before. I’m not sure what it means. Men and their cars.”

  “We think entirely too much about them.”

  “We have our shoes,” she said.

  “If those sandals are any indication, cars are easier to get around in,” he said.

  She laughed. God, he loved to make her laugh.

  He turned onto the highway headed south. It would take them an hour
to get to the restaurant.

  “I made a playlist for us,” he said. “Since this is our first road trip together.”

  She stared at him with her mouth slightly open for a moment. “You didn’t really?”

  “I did.” The girls had told him to work on his romantic gestures. Maggie had approved of this one and had helped him select the music. It was a combination of vintage southern rock, some old country, and new pop hits. No one knew road trip music like Maggie.

  He turned the volume up on the stereo and waited to hear her response to the first song. It was “Coward of the County” by Kenny Rogers.

  “Oh yeah, baby,” Honor said. “This used to be on the jukebox at the bar. The old jukebox.”

  “I wondered if you’d remember that.”

  “It only played like five thousand times during my illustrious waitress career.”

  What did her comment about her waitress career mean? Did she look down on it now that she played in the big leagues with Brody’s fancy people? Does she look down on me?

  “What did I say?” she asked. “I made the muscle in your cheek twitch.”

  “Nothing.” The blue of the Pacific greeted them as they rounded a corner.

  “I used to tease Hugh about his old man music,” she said. “But I secretly loved it.”

  “Yeah?” He glanced over at her. She gazed out the passenger side window at the view and let out a faint sigh.

  “I play music for him when I visit,” she said. “He can still remember the lyrics to songs but can’t remember me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Why? You didn’t do it.”

  “I mean, I’m sorry it hurts.” He looked up at the rearview mirror. A black sedan followed them too closely. He hated it when drivers did that, especially on this road. There’s plenty of time, dude. Speeding doesn’t get you anywhere but off the cliff. “I know it’s illogical, but sometimes I’m angry at him. Like he has any control over what’s happened to him.” After Natalie called off the wedding, he’d needed his dad, but had found him strangely vacant. “He hid it from me for a long time. I thought he was just checked out with what was going on in my life. That hurt. Until I figured out why.”

  She fiddled with the strap on her purse. “He’s proud. He didn’t want anyone to know how scared he was. My guess anyway.”

  Like me.

  They arrived at a place in the highway where tourists stopped to take photographs of the ocean.

  “I remember the first time I ever saw that view,” she said. “It took my breath away.”

  “You want to stop?” he asked.

  “No. We don’t want to be late. Some other time, maybe.”

  Another time. Good sign.

  She yawned.

  “Am I that boring?” he asked.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not you. I haven’t slept well the past few nights.”

  “Any reason why?”

  She didn’t answer. He glanced over at her for a split second before turning back to the road. Best not to take his eyes off the curvy highway or they’d land in the ocean. But he’d seen her shiver. Was she afraid of something or someone? Is that what kept her up? The man at the beach flashed before his eyes.

  “You worried about something?” Keep it casual. Don’t push too hard.

  “It’s nothing, really,” she said. “I got a phone call yesterday that shook me up a little—reminded me of some events in my past I’d rather forget.”

  He wanted desperately to know the details. Instinctually, he knew not to push. They were alike this way. She’d clam up if his questions were invasive. Another song on the playlist started—a sweet ballad.

  “Your dad loved this song too,” she said.

  “He did, yeah.”

  She clicked and unclicked the clasp of her clutch. His ears popped as they neared the highest elevation.

  “Tell me about these investors,” she said. “Anything I need to know?”

  All business suddenly. Duly noted. Don’t bring up anything too personal.

  He launched into a description of the potential investors, including that he’d found them through the USC alumni association. “I’ve stalked them over the past few days and they seem legit.” He inwardly cringed at the word stalked. “They’re mainly interested in silent partnerships in a variety of businesses.”

  “So basically, they get partial ownership without having to do any of the work.”

  He shrugged. “Basically.”

  “And that doesn’t bug you?”

  “Sure, but I don’t really have that much of a choice.”

  “I know Hugh’s room costs a fortune,” she said. “That’s the only good thing about being an orphan. I don’t have anyone to take care of.”

  Her bitter tone stabbed at him. He wanted to stop the car and take her in his arms. My mother left too.

  “What else do I need to know?” she asked.

  “I guess I’m counting on your gut more than anything. Brody tells me you can smell a rat a mile off.”

  “Another skill I owe to my mother,” she said.

  He nodded without comment. No need to pick at that wound.

  “Our mothers could’ve had a club,” she said.

  “Instead we have a club.” Kids left by their mothers.

  “It’s nice to be in a club,” she said. “With you.”

  His chest ached. Honor. She made him feel like he could do anything in the world. “You too.” He reached over the console and gave her hand a squeeze. She squeezed back.

  “You ever think about her?” Honor asked.

  “My mom?”

  “No, your dead dog,” she said. “Of course, your mom.”

  He laughed. “Your bedside manner could use some work if you decide to become a therapist.”

  “Sitting around listening to people whine about their lives? Sounds like a prison sentence.”

  “That’s basically what bartenders do,” he said.

  “You’re good at it, though. You’re a great listener.” She flashed her sultry smile that made it hard for him to breathe.

  “I try. Some nights are harder than others. There’s a lot of heartbreak out there.”

  “You must know every story in town,” she said.

  “Too many.”

  “So, for real—do you ever wonder what happened to her or where she is?” she asked.

  “It occurs to me sometimes. Dad never talked about her, so I don’t know much. I found some photographs in his things when I moved him to the memory care place.”

  “What did she look like?”

  He scratched behind his ear. “Normal, I guess.”

  “Normal? What’s that mean?”

  “She was young, like nineteen when she had me. She looks young in the photos. My dad was ten years older than her.” He knew that from the birth certificate. Besides those minor details, he didn’t know much. “My dad wasn’t one for talking about the past. He always said the past was past and to focus on the now.”

  “He used to tell me that too.”

  “Did it help?” he asked.

  “Sure. It’s basically my mantra now.” She reached inside her purse and pulled out a tin of mints but didn’t open them.

  “Since we found Sophie and I learned about Maggie’s mom and my dad, it has made me wonder if I should look for her,” Zane said. “But then, I wise up and realize it’s a stupid idea.”

  “Because she doesn’t want to be found?” Honor asked.

  “Right.”

  “Smart,” she said.

  Honor knew. She knew exactly.

  “I used to daydream my mom would come back for me,” Honor said. “But I was a dumb kid who didn’t know better.” She shook the tin of mints like a rattle. After the fifth shake, she set the mints inside her purse and snapped it closed. The clasp made a clicking noise like a magnet onto a fridge.

  “Is that why you never talk about your childhood?” He’d leave it open-ended and see if she’d bite.

&n
bsp; “I don’t like to think about it. I’m an expert at that—stuffing it all away and pretending it never happened. You should know that if we get involved.”

  “We’re already involved.” He wasn’t sure why he’d said that, other than it was true for him. Don’t scare her away. “I mean, whether we want to be or not.”

  “You don’t want to be?” she asked.

  “That’s not what I said.” He gripped the steering wheel and tried to think of the right way to express his feelings. Jackson would know what to say, but Zane was an insensitive oaf. He heard Maggie’s voice in his head. Be honest with her about your feelings. “What I meant is—I like you.” There, he’d said it. Why was it so hot in this car? He should never have gotten the black interior. He turned the air conditioning up a notch. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you these past few months. My pride was wounded, so I lashed out.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. The whole thing was my fault. I’m the one who’s sorry, which I’m not good at. Being sorry, that is. Mostly it makes me mad when I feel bad about something, especially when it’s something I did.”

  “Same,” he said.

  “The night we spent together was special to me.” Honor’s voice was barely above a whisper. He wanted to lean closer to catch every word, but again he needed to make sure he didn’t take a turn too fast and propel them off the side of the three-hundred-foot cliff.

  “It was for me too,” he said. I’m in love with you.

  They drove without talking for several miles, the music taking the place of conversation. The August sun hung low on the horizon, creating a golden glow. The first signs of the city appeared. He scratched under his collar. Was this really such a great idea? Maybe he should forget the whole thing. Did he truly want the hassle of another business? Especially one he didn’t know anything about. His father would never take a risk like this one.

  “The city makes you nervous,” Honor said.

  “Am I that obvious?”

  “Kind of, yeah.”

  “You sure about this?” she asked.

  “No. Not at all.”

  “You don’t like to answer to anyone,” she said. “Keep that in mind.”

  “I know. Maybe I should forget this whole thing.”

  “We’ll talk to these guys and find out what they have to offer. You need to remember something, Zane Shaw. You’re the one with the talent. Not them.”