Of course she could. She belonged to the Fellings now, and she had to obey. Alice worried for her joy being snatched away, when the target was my own happiness.
She had tricked herself into believing that she would be allowed to stay at Dunsmore House, with Elliott.
Now, she realised just how silly she had been.
“I will not go,” she said, in a tremulous voice.
“You will,” Georgette snapped. “And do not believe you may marry this Lord Dunsmore, should you be foolish enough to consider such a thing, when you should be mourning James properly, for my family will not allow it, as long as there is a hope that my brother’s son grows within you. If the child even does belong to my brother.”
Jane frowned.
“I hope you are not insinuating what I believe you are. I have been loyal to James. I would never have betrayed him.”
“Your behaviour with that young gentleman would suggest otherwise.”
“I would never do such a thing. I am an honest woman!”
Georgette smiled frostily.
“I have been hearing the whispers of gossip in this small town, Jane. They all speak of your great love affair with the new Earl, although I suspect it began long before then. James often spoke of his concerns regarding your fidelity. He wrote to me of it, though I sought to reassure him that you were loyal. Now, I wish I had supported him, and seen you cast out. I saw the way you smiled at Lord Dunsmore, Jane. That is not the smile of friends.”
“I have done nothing untoward,” Jane shot back, her voice shaking. “I was loyal to your brother until the day he died. I took my vows seriously, for I once loved him. Remember? He mistreated me, it was never the other way around.”
A shadow crossed the church path, making Jane turn. The Dowager Countess stood at her side, with an expression of stern calm.
“What seems to be the matter, Miss—?” Lady Dunsmore asked, fixing her gaze on Georgette.
“Miss Georgette Felling,” she replied, holding out a reluctant hand.
Lady Dunmore nodded.
“Ah, the sister of the thief, who sought to steal from me and take my ancestry for himself?”
Georgette looked chastened.
“I did not know of his endeavours until after the events that took his life, my Lady. However, that does not alter my grief, and it does not alter the facts — Lady Waterford must return with me to Northumberland, until the birth of her child. If she gives birth to a son, then she will remain, and the child raised with us. I am certain that you can understand the necessity better than she can, given your station.”
Jane held her tongue, looking to the Dowager for support.
“Be that as it may, I do not appreciate your insinuations regarding my grandson,” she replied tersely. “Lord Dunsmore and Lady Waterford are acquaintances, nothing more. You ought not believe the gossipmongers, for they would say anything, simply to have a scandal to speak of -even if only one created in their own minds. I can vouch for Lady Waterford myself. There has been nothing unseemly between them, and the child within her is surely Lord Waterford’s.”
“She has to return with me, my Lady,” Georgette urged, her tone desperate.
She had been caught in her unpleasantness and her cheeks showed her embarrassment.
The Dowager smiled.
“I happen to agree with you, Miss Felling. However, you will refrain from insulting her further.”
Jane stared at the Dowager.
“I cannot return, my Lady.”
“It is the proper thing to do, Lady Waterford”
Realisation dawned with a shiver of fear. The Dowager did not want her grandson to marry a young lady of Jane’s means and history. A pregnant widow was not a suitable match for an eligible Earl. And yet, Jane did not fully understand. The Dowager had welcomed her with open arms, and been so kind towards her condition, but now… it felt as if her world was crumbling all over again, as it had when James had revealed his true nature to her.
Jane shook her head. “Please, my Lady. Do not allow this to happen. I know that your grandson does not wish it.”
“That is the duty of an Earl, Lady Waterford. Sometimes, he must abide by rules he does not want to. It will be better for everyone, himself included, if you leave with Miss Felling immediately. The children can be sent for, and they can meet you on the road. However, I must urge you to leave, for the sake of your child. That is a mother’s duty — to do what is best for their offspring, regardless of the pain it may cause.”
“My Lady, please,” Jane begged.
“It must be this way, dear girl,” the Dowager said softly. “If we knew for certain that your husband was dead, then perhaps there might be a way that you could stay. However, we do not know that he is definitely deceased. His body was never recovered. You must go to your husband’s estate and give birth to your child. If we hear any more of James, then we will send word to you. Until then, you must do your duty.”
Tears filled Jane’s eyes.
“This is because of Lord Dunsmore. Do not deny it.”
“With his mother gone, I must be the one to do what is best for him,” the Dowager replied. “Although there has been nothing untoward between you, I know that he cares deeply for you. It would be best for him if you went now, without any fuss. He would plead with you to stay, and that cannot be permitted. I am sorry, Lady Waterford, for I also care for you, but this must be the way of things.”
“My Lady…”
“Do not make this more difficult.” The Dowager took her hand and kissed it. “Leave with Miss Felling now, and spare Lord Dunsmore the pain of your goodbye. Make this simple, for I should hate to have to force you. It is not in my nature.”
Jane sought out Elliott in the retreating crowd, but he had already gone. The carriage had departed, and him along with it. She could not implore him to save her, nor could she disobey the wishes of the Dowager and Georgette. If she tried, she would only fail. The Dowager was right — James’ body had not been found and, until it was, she was still a married woman.
“Can I stay to say farewell to Alice?” Jane whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. A few members of the congregation were staring.
The Dowager squeezed her hand.
“I do not think that would be appropriate, on this day of happiness. I will make an excuse for you, but you must leave with Miss Felling this instant. I will send your belongings with the children in due course.”
“Please, my Lady!” Jane was desperate.
“I am sorry for this, Lady Waterford. You do not deserve it, but this is how it must be.” She took Jane’s hand firmly and led her up the church path to the waiting carriage that Georgette had arranged. Georgette flashed a triumphant smile and followed the two women, assisting the Dowager to bundle Jane onto the velvet squabs within. Jane attempted to fight back for a moment, but it was hopeless. She had nowhere left to run.
She sank down onto the seat and held her head in her hands. A few minutes later, the driver snapped the reins and the carriage departed the sweet church that had brought her such joy. She glimpsed it through the window as it disappeared, taking all her future hopes with it.
Elliott… Elliott, I love you. I am sorry.
What would he think of her, leaving without so much as a farewell? She prayed he would not hate her too much, for she had already endured enough loss. She could not lose him, too.
Chapter Fourteen
“Where is she?”
Elliott burst into the drawing room, where Lady Dunsmore sat reading. She had excused herself from the chaotic merriment of the wedding celebrations some time ago.
Elliott had watched her leave and had sensed something troubling was afoot. He had looked for Jane and the mysterious Miss Felling amongst the revellers, but he had not been able to find her.
The Dowager looked up.
“Who are you speaking of, my dear boy?”
“Do not feign ignorance, Grandmamma. It does not suit you. Where is Jane?”
/> A sad look passed across Lady Dunsmore’s face.
“She has gone.”
“Gone? Gone where?”
“To where she belongs. Miss Felling came to collect her, and I have arranged for the children, and her belongings, to be sent on after her. Several footmen and a maid are already in the process of taking her things, and the children are on their way to their stepmother as we speak. It has all turned out for the best, dear Elliott, I assure you.”
Elliott narrowed his eyes.
“Did you send her away?”
“No, she decided to go. She understood her duty,” the Dowager replied calmly. “I realise that an affection has developed between the two of you, but her husband’s body has yet to be found. She is still married, and I should hate for her, or you, to attract a scandal. She made the decision, once she saw it from that perspective.”
“You convinced her, then?” His heart raced, and his palms were clammy. He did not know what to do without her. “She would never have departed without saying goodbye.”
“It was too painful for her, my dear. You must see that.”
His heart sank.
“I do not understand, Grandmother. I thought that she and I might be able to marry, once things had quieted.”
“My poor, poor boy. The scandal will never be forgotten on this, for Lord Waterford’s death is already shrouded in suspicion. If you were to marry his wife, so soon after he disappeared beneath the lake, how do you think that might appear?”
“I do not care for appearances!”
“I know this is hard for you, dear boy, but you must see that this is for the best. She is with-child, and if that child should be a son — if something were to happen to young Francis, then the child would be the next Baron of Waterford. I adore the young lady as keenly as you, but she is tied to that family, not ours. It pained her to go, but she saw that she had to. Her child’s future must be her priority.”
He sank down on a nearby armchair.
“So, she has gone?”
“Yes, dear Elliott.”
He contemplated sprinting from the room and taking to his horse that instant, to chase after his departing love. However, his grandmother’s words kept him fixed to the seat.
Jane had striven against her feelings to leave. If he followed her now, and begged her to stay, he knew he would only cause her further heartache. Each of them was dutybound now. He was no longer a humble architect, and she was not free to marry.
Sighing, he began to understand the complexities surrounding Jane’s child. If it was a boy, then she would never be free of the Fellings. Even if it was a girl, he did not know what might happen.
In truth, though it broke his heart, he did not wish to add to her suffering. She had made her choice, and now he had to do the same.
Jane… I love you. Wherever you are, I love you.
But he had to leave her alone, for both their sakes.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A fortnight later, Elliott returned from a trip to London, to see the Dunsmore men of business, to find that the Dowager had arranged a Ball at Dunsmore House. It was to be in his honour, to celebrate his being recognised as the new Earl of Dunsmore.
However, he understood the real reason for the event. He was to find a wife, no doubt. But, in those two weeks, he had thought of little but Jane.
A hundred times, he had sat down to write to her, but the pen had never touched the paper. Every time he tried, his grandmother’s words echoed in his ears. Not even Alice could persuade him to go after Jane, though she had tried her very best. He would not put Jane through more suffering, regardless of the agony in his own heart.
“You do not have to attend,” Frederick said, as they sat together in his bedchamber. They drank brandy in preparation for the evening to come.
Elliott laughed sharply.
“Is that so? You think my grandmother would accept my absence?”
“You are the Earl, not her.”
“She wants to see me wed.”
Frederick smiled sympathetically.
“She seeks an appropriate match?”
“I imagine so.”
“And Jane is the only woman you wish to be wed to?”
Elliott sipped his brandy.
“Am I so very transparent?”
“No, but the love between you two is… or was. I imagine she is in Northumberland at this very moment, just as miserable as you are.”
“Then why did she have to leave?”
“You know why, Elliott. It does not make it better, but she had valid reasoning.”
Elliott sighed.
“I fear that my grandmother said something to her, to ensure that she left. She would never have departed without saying farewell to Alice, at the very least. Even if she was in pain, she would have said goodbye to her friend.”
“I do not doubt it, Elliott. Your grandmother is a fearsome woman. I do not believe that she approved of my marriage to Alice, which may have swayed her opinion on Jane. One less-than-fortuitous match was enough, perhaps.”
He looked up.
“Do you believe so?”
“It seems coincidental that Miss Felling should appear, and Lady Waterford should disappear shortly afterwards. Indeed, one of the footmen saw the three of them talking on the path from the church. I did not wish to say so, but, by all accounts, my Lady was rather tearful. The Countess led her to the carriage and ensured that she departed.”
“You did not think to mention this sooner?”
Frederick shrugged.
“I did not think it would benefit anyone. It seems unlikely that it would have changed the outcome, it would only have made her leaving harder. For both of you.”
“I miss her, Frederick.”
“I know.”
“I love her still, and I cannot think of any woman who might replace her.”
“I know.”
Elliott downed the last of his brandy.
“Then what must I do?”
“I cannot advise on that, Elliott. Although, whatever you decide, you have my support.”
“I suppose I must still attend this Ball?” he muttered.
“Yes, I suppose you must. Despite your feelings, you cannot evade this, else you may risk the wrath of your grandmother.”
Elliott grimaced.
“And we would not want that now, would we?”
An hour later, he descended the stairs and joined the revellers in the ballroom. A vast array of beautiful young ladies were in attendance, but he barely noticed. They eyed him with flirtatious glances, and their mothers whispered in their ears.
He was the prize of the evening, and it was a race to discover who would take him as their own.
Little did they know that he did not plan to be anyone’s prize. If his grandmother would not allow him to wed Lady Waterford, then he would not wed anyone. Nobody could match up to her, so what was the use of searching?
She loved me before I had means and a title. She loved me for who I was, not what I could offer. These women look at me as if I am prey. I love her still. I will always love her.
Panic shot through him as he was ushered towards a cluster of very striking young women. He admired their beauty, but they paled in comparison to Jane. He knew Lady Waterford. He knew of her quirks and her wonder, and the spark within her that made her so rare. Did she not deserve happiness, after the torture she had endured at James Felling’s hands? Did he not deserve to give her that happiness?”
“Are you feeling well?” Frederick whispered in his ear. “You are beginning to draw attention, and not the good kind.”
He realised that he had been staring listlessly into space, as the young ladies sought to address him. There was no point in this pretence, none at all. He did not want to be here, and he did not care what his grandmother had to say. She had not been his grandmother for long enough to be able to dictate his future. Indeed, his own mother and father had loved one another deeply and truthfully.
And though he h
ad never truly known them, he felt a kinship with that love. He wanted that love for himself.
“I must ride to Northumberland,” he murmured back.
“Tomorrow?” Frederick replied.
Elliott shook his head. “No, now.”
“Lead the way. I will join you.”
“Excuse me ladies, I feel a sudden fatigue,” he said politely. They glanced at him with disappointed eyes. Turning away, he strode across the ballroom and out into the entrance hall. Frederick followed, with Alice behind him.
“Where are you going?” she hissed, looking back over her shoulder. The Dowager would be out here at any moment.
“Northumberland,” Elliott replied. “I must go to her, Alice. I cannot be without her.”
A smile spread across Alice’s face.
“I will distract our grandmother whilst you fetch horses. Go, and I pray that fortune guides you.”
“Thank you.”
He reached over and hugged his sister tightly, before sprinting out of the door. Frederick kissed his wife tenderly on the lips, before hurrying after. As they ran for the stables, Elliott prayed that his sister’s blessing would follow them.
Chapter Fifteen
Jane sat in her bedchamber and stared out at the bleak landscape of the Northumberland countryside. She had not been welcomed back by James’ family, and a stilted mood had descended across the manor house. Most of the time, she kept to her room, feigning fatigue in order to avoid the family. They were still deep in their grief and made no attempt to hide their contempt for Jane. They blamed her, she could tell.
Her only refuge was the children, who had clung to her with unexpected eagerness. She often visited them in the nursery, and spent her days playing at their side. They adored her, and she them. It did not matter where they had come from, or who they necessarily belonged to — they were as much a part of her now as her own growing child.
A knock at the door disturbed her.
“Enter,” she said.
Georgette peered around the door. “I thought I would bring you some supper, as you did not come down to dinner. Mama says you are feeling unwell again?”
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