We sat opposite each other at my little two-seater table. At least he seemed to be enjoying my cooking. And hungry. He looked hungry. Maybe that was why he inhaled my mediocre lasagna. Maybe that was why he stopped our activities on the sofa when the timer went off.
“I have a confession to make,” he said.
I pulled the forkful of food away from my mouth to listen. “What?”
“I… um… I don’t know how to say this.”
My skin prickled and my brow creased. This was weird. Definitely weird.
He continued. “I stopped earlier,” he gestured to the sofa, “because I didn’t want to do anything until you knew the truth.”
I set down my fork. “What are you talking about?”
He swallowed and shuffled in his seat. “I wanted you to know how much I care about you. More than care. I’m really,” he paused, “into you, and I thought it was important for you to know before we, you know.”
Shit. Now I felt like a scummy scumbag. Should I tell him I didn’t want a serious relationship? Especially when I was about thirty minutes away from having my bare skin pressed up against his?
I smiled and picked up my fork. “You had me scared there for a minute. I thought you were going to tell me you’re not who I think you are.”
He smiled back, his lips tight together. He didn’t say anything else, but picked up his fork and continued to eat. The remainder of our meal was quiet, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had to tell Jay I wasn’t looking for anything serious.
Chapter 14
I cleared our empty plates and sat back down opposite him, twirling the wine in my glass.
“I didn’t mean to scare you earlier,” he said grinning. “Forget I said anything.”
Can’t un-hear the heard, Jay. But his words relaxed me a little, and his grin relaxed me a whole lot. How was it possible for me to have such a perfect specimen of a man in my home?
I smiled at him, “Are you ready for dessert?”
“Not quite. You seem stressed, Abbie. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine.” Do I tell him? This was my chance. I didn’t want a relationship, I should just say it already. “Just a bad week at work is all.”
Jay perked up. “Why? What happened?”
“My boss has it in for me and has been on my ass all week.” I took a long drink of my wine to cope with the thought of Calvin.
“What did you do?” he asked.
“I sent out a bunch of resumes. I know I haven’t been with the company long and it will look bad, but I’ve got to get out before I’m forced out,” I said.
“Why would you be forced out?” I felt like Jay was grilling me.
“Realistically? Calvin hates me because I threaten him. He’s never had a good idea, is clearly in over his head and knows I could expose him any time.”
“How?”
“I have proof, a stack of emails I printed before he had the chance to delete them. Him asking me the most basic questions, sometimes two or three times.”
“So why don’t you?”
I shrugged. “I guess I’m not that kind of person.”
Jay leaned forward, his head nearly reaching my side of the table. “Give those emails to his boss on Monday.”
“Maybe.”
“No. Do it. I mean it.” The sudden forcefulness of his voice and his aggressive body language unnerved me.
“Why? Is that what you did in your last job? How did that work out for you?” I snapped.
Jay shook his head, but he didn’t lean back from my side of the table. “Abbie, this isn’t about me.”
“This isn’t about an unemployed man giving me job advice? I have a mortgage to pay, you know. Not everyone can dick around unconcerned about having no income.”
He leaned away, but he sat and stared at me. My skin itched wherever his eyes bore into me.
“Do you even try to find a job?”
“Abbie, it’s not like that.”
“What’s it like then, Jay?” I spat his name. “What have you done? Have you taken any classes? Brushed up your skills?”
He remained silent, and I carried on my little tirade. “I mean, seriously, how hard is it to find a job in IT? Do you at least consult? Don’t you get any self-satisfaction from working?”
The breath being forced through Jay’s nose was the only sound in the room. But he still didn’t say anything. I didn’t know why but I couldn’t stop. I paused to let him respond, but he sat there, staring at me. I wanted to shake a reaction out of him. And I wanted to smack myself for caring. I brought him here to fuck me, not justify his existence to me. But I couldn’t help myself.
My tone got even harsher. “How do you live? Off a pile of your daddy’s money? I mean really, who gallivants around all day, drinking overpriced coffees and having Champagne in the park?”
Before I could react, he stood and walked out the door. I sat, frozen in place. The hottest man who’d ever shown any interest in me had been sitting in my condo, only moments away from ravishing me on my bed, and I drove him out. Why didn’t I keep my big mouth shut?
* * *
I finished the rest of the bottle of red. I went to the fridge, pulled the spoon out of the neck of the Champagne bottle, and finished it. The whole time I was trying to keep my mind from whirring.
I am so stupid. Repeat.
Over and over, I’d pick up my phone and set it back down. Jay hadn’t texted. The drunker I got, the antsier I became. The antsier I became, the more I had to hike my dress back up. I’d been trying not to throw anything, but I broke down, lifted a throw pillow high over my head and chucked it across the room. It didn’t make me feel any better.
The action had caused my tit to pop out of my bra and dress. For the zillionth time that evening, I started to hitch my dress back up. In my drunken anguish I looked down at my sad, lonely boob. A tit that mere hours ago was being kissed and sucked by Jay. Gorgeous, fun, sexy Jay. My womb contracted at the thought of my loss. How could I undo this entire evening? Take it right back to the sofa?
Without further thought, I pushed down my dress and bra around my waist and took a selfie. I cropped my head out and left a slight bit of my fuchsia dress so there could be no doubt of whose tits they were. I texted it to Jay, with no words.
Heh, my first foray into sexting. I toasted myself with my empty glass.
* * *
My phone rang the following morning. My heart leapt, but it was Jenny. I couldn’t face talking to her and I hit reject.
I’d barely slept all night. I was too busy checking my phone for any response from Jay, but it had been radio silence. Countless times, I’d type out a big long apology – for both my behavior at dinner and the sexting, and countless times I’d deleted what I’d typed. I should phone him, talk to him and apologize like a normal person but I didn’t have the courage.
Nor could I face telling Jenny what had happened or what had not happened despite my planning.
I dragged myself out of bed and rummaged through my bathroom drawer for painkillers. My head throbbed. I was paying the price for drowning my sorrows but I deserved all the emotional and physical pain I was suffering for the way I’d treated Jay.
By noon I still hadn’t heard anything from him, though Jenny had texted a wink. I guess she figured he’d stayed the night. And that I was wrapped in his arms right now, having morning sex. Which I should have been. Could have been. If only I’d kept my big mouth shut.
By early evening I still hadn’t eaten. I put another piece of lasagna on a plate. I sat in the same seat I’d been sitting on last night when I’d decided to verbally rip apart my houseguest. Rude! I had been plain rude and my poor, dearly departed mother would be ashamed I’d treated anyone that way, whether they’d deserved it or not. Regardless of whether I’d been trying to get naked with them or not.
I picked up my phone.
Sorry. My behavior was inexcusable.
A few deep breaths later I managed to push se
nd. It was too difficult to sit in the same place, looking across at the empty seat across from me. I picked up my plate and moved to the sofa.
After every bite of food, I’d pick up my phone and check for a reply. There was no need to do that, I had the volume set to maximum, and the vibration turned on. Still, I couldn’t help myself. Hope was a difficult thing to quash.
Chapter 15
Bleary eyed, I tossed my bag on my seat, slipped off my sneakers and put on my heels. I’d dragged myself to work early, so I’d get there before Sam. I figured if she’d been there to watch me walk in I wouldn’t be able to make it to my desk.
I never did call Jenny back, but I’d sent both her and Sam texts saying things didn’t go well and that I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. I hoped Sam would respect my wishes.
Fortunately she didn’t make one reference to it that day, and we got on with our work. Yet another stupid new waste-of-time report Calvin had come up with. At least this one was only going to be monthly.
I dug around in my bottom drawer for some papers and came across the stack of emails that had started the whole thing with Jay. I took the folder out of the drawer and set it on the desk. It wouldn’t hurt to leaf through them, to confirm my belief that they proved Calvin was incompetent.
The file was still sitting there early afternoon, and I scanned through the emails. There was no room for doubt, they showed Calvin as a hideous man. Not only did they prove he didn’t know what he was doing, they showed how rude he was to me even when I helped him. I kicked myself for helping him at all. Why did I help him? Ugh, I was so mad at myself for it, but still I put the folder back in my drawer.
* * *
There had been no word from Jay. Jenny and Sam were kind enough not to pry, but I’m sure it was killing them. My mood had been sour, and they had both allowed me to act like a sullen child and not tried to rip the information from my throat.
It had been almost a whole week since I’d seen Jay, and I still hadn’t heard from him. I didn’t know what to do. Send him another text? Or let it die. He’d said he was into me, so on one hand I should be glad he’d vanished from my life. I didn’t want a relationship last weekend. But now, I wasn’t sure.
I missed his company. Hanging out in the park that afternoon was the most fun I’d had in years. And sitting with him at the basketball game had been exhilarating. But it took Jay leaving for me to realize what I really felt.
Except I’d already hurt him, and I felt terrible. The guilt had been crushing me all week, and was to the point where it’d become suffocating. I could not figure out what to do, I was exhausted from days of little sleep. Between Jay and Calvin, I was an emotional wreck by the time the fucking Friday WeeksEnd report rolled around.
My chest heaved and I felt nauseated. Without saying anything, I stood up and left. It was not even eleven.
* * *
I walked all the way home in my heels. At eleven in the morning on a workday. I collapsed in my bed and cried. I hated myself for crying and I cried even harder.
I had nothing left to lose. Before I could chicken out, I brought up Jay’s name and pressed call. Please pick up, please pick up. I squeezed my eyes shut and chanted. Three rings, four rings.
“Abbie?”
My chest swirled with joy at the sound of Jay’s voice.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted.
“Are you okay? You sound upset.”
I swallowed and tried not to sound like I was crying, “I am upset! I treated you so terribly!”
“Are you at work?”
“No, I left. I’m at home.”
“Stay put, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
The line went dead, and I stopped breathing for a few moments while I stared at the phone in my hand. My brain kicked my ass into gear. Jay was coming!
I pulled myself from the bed and washed my face, trying to reduce my red, swollen eyes as much as possible. I reapplied my make-up and smoothed my hair. Lastly, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a huge glass of water, downed it and filled it again.
Even though I was expecting him, I jumped when the intercom buzzed.
Chapter 16
I pulled open the front door and waited, my heart thumping so fast I thought I might pass out.
The elevator door opened. Jay walked out, wearing an exquisitely cut Italian suit and looking better than ever. He covered the hallway in long strides and before I knew it, he’d pulled me into him and pressed me hard against his chest.
My chin quivered, and I blinked back tears.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
He kissed the top of my head, shuffled me into my condo and shut the door. I slipped my arms underneath his suit jacket, and there was no way I was letting go until he pushed me away.
“Hey, hey,” he said, looking down on me.
I looked back up at him and got drawn into his deep brown eyes. I managed to stop my chin quivering for long enough to force a small smile at him.
“Abbie, beautiful, listen. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry, for leaving and ignoring you all week. It was terrible of me. I thought, after what you said, that you weren’t interested in me and it was kind of hard for me to take.”
A strange noise emanated from my throat, halfway between a sob and a laugh. I couldn’t believe he apologized to me. It was kind of surreal.
I buried my head back in his chest, and felt guilty for getting salty tears on his expensive suit.
“Cup of coffee,” he said.
I didn’t know if he was asking for one, or offering to make me one.
“I’m not leaving my condo.”
“Don’t you have any coffee here?”
“Of course I have coffee.” We went into the kitchen, I set up the coffeemaker and it started percolating. The ritual calmed me, as if I was resetting my day.
Jay came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. My eyes shut, unsure where this was going. Where I was going? I thought Matt’s actions had ensured I would never feel anything for another man again. But here I was, intoxicated by both Jay’s touch and his presence.
I leaned backwards into him, his hands turned me around and soon our mouths were locked together. All my muscles relaxed under the firm pressure of his hands on the small of my back. I leaned into him, willing him not to stop.
He tilted my head sideways and kissed down my neck. When he reached my blouse, he nuzzled at it while his hands fumbled with my buttons. I frantically worked at his dress shirt from the bottom up. Each time a button revealed more of his chiseled muscles, I traced my fingers over them before moving onto the next.
Both our work shirts hung open and we pressed our bare skin against each other. He radiated warmth against me. Desperate for more, I pushed him in the direction of the bedroom while trying to completely remove my top so I could get at my bra.
Jay stepped back, out of my reach, and I looked at him in panic.
“Take it off,” he demanded.
His words forced a smile across my face, and I took off my top and bra. He nodded in approval, but made no move to touch me. He seemed to be waiting, so I took off my skirt and nylons, and stood before him in only my panties. My stupid, everyday three-year-old work underwear.
“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he said and swept me into my bedroom and onto the bed. I laid there watching as he removed his shirt and suit pants, still amazed a man like him was in my condo.
Jay knelt beside me, as if surveying where on me to start. He leaned over and kissed me, but quickly moved down my neck and over my shoulders. Butterflies flapped madly at the contact of his hands with my breasts. He cupped them both, flicking my already erect nipples with his thumbs.
He looked up at me and said, “I liked the tit shot.”
Mortified, my entire body flushed red. Before it had a chance to calm down, he clamped his mouth around my nipple and sucked so hard the walls of my pussy clenched. He did the same to my other nipple before trail
ing kisses down my belly.
He reached the edge of my panties and without looking at me, hooked his finger in the waistband and tugged them down around my knees. I unconsciously rolled my thighs in. Aside from Matt, no man had seen me so intimately. I started to pull my legs all the way together when his hand slapped onto my thigh and yanked it wide open.
He kept his hand on my thigh, gripping it to keep it in place as he kissed the points of my pelvic bone, then moved his mouth down. First, he nuzzled and kissed over both of my thighs, blowing across my lips as he moved from side to side.
“I’d love to see some garters on these thighs.”
I groaned and moved away my other leg for him. Very lightly, almost imperceptibly, his tongue licked my lips crossways. Then back again. Over and over, he took his time no matter how I moved my pelvis to try to urge him in.
I reached my hands above my head, and held tight to my pillow, waiting. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes fixed on the light shade. The coffeemaker beeped, signaling its readiness.
At last, his tongue slid up my slit, and down again. It found my hole and taunted it a few times before licking back up to my clit. He flicked it a few times, my eyes squeezing shut at the intensity. He removed his hand from my thigh and without hesitation plunged two fingers into me, pushing a loud moan from my throat.
“Jay,” I panted. He rammed them into me again and again in the same steady rhythm while he sucked my clit hard into his mouth. My body welled and filled until I squirmed. He pushed his other hand down on my belly, to hold me still, without breaking his rhythm.
I screamed as a massive orgasm ripped through my body.
Before my body calmed, he moved his body over me, and kissed me hard on the mouth. His lips moved in a frenzy over my neck as he rubbed his hard cock against me through his boxers, grinding against my still tender clit. My hands ran over the muscles on his back and shoulders, through his hair. I ached for him to enter me, but I waited for his lead.
Billionaire's Secret: The Complete Series Page 5